Horsesmouth:


Monogamy is slavery

yetseyi:




It seems you have something against Yoruba women, you are bringing ethnicity to an issue that is simply about values/morals

You are quick to call the story nonsense if it was you how would you feel.

The OP didn't even state her tribe.

Does it really matter what the Hubby's side has to say? What is the issue that they cant even tell the woman sorry for her hubbys death.
Who quarells and keep malice with people even to the point of death that's not fair, and it is wrong. Op may not be perfect, her parents may not be perfect, even the Hubby's side too may not be perfect but some things are wrong and should not be sugarcoated.


Even people that have done evil to you to your face you still commiserate with then when mourning.

I still say there is more to this issue than it is but whatever it may be its not up to the level of not sending condolence message to your in-law. In-law that you sat down together with during the marriage, made arrangements, collected bride price from.
Na wa ooo


And yes I am Yoruba and if you call my judgement skewed ..... you are entitled to your opinion.

Ezedon:
Is that all?

Horsesmouth:


I can neither confirm nor deny that i have issues with yoruba women.
E ti le ro ejo ju, se ko kin sun yin ni.

yetseyi:


Lool, at least we are getting somewhere so what did she/they do to you?


Rojo ju bi ti bawo? Se ki a ma so nkan ti o n dun wa ni. Ki ni awon hundiya se fun yin.

Horsesmouth:


Must everything pain you?

Horsesmouth:


No apologies needed, i think she is overbearing. Im sure she is yoruba, thats how their women behave and reason. Putting her domestic quandary on social media like we give a f*ck!

daretodiffer:
If this is how Yoruba women behave, I am sure your women behave like prostitutes and gluttons

FYI, abuse of social media isn't a tribe thing. You would know if your internet exposure wasn't limited to Yoruba vs your tribe.

Twinkleme:
Hello everyone, but today he's a different person in many ways but this story is not about him.

Me-I'm an average person who tries to live life the best way I can. My MAJOR flaws according to my husband is that I like things being done right as much as possible.

My husband's family-he is the youngest of the family. They are all older and in their up bringing older onse are ALWAYS right no matter what.



Please advise how you will handle this situation as a man or woman.

Also, is marriage about becoming a slave to one's husband's family?
How do you have a good relationship with a family who does not acknowledge your family?

Twinkleme:
Hello everyone, i had to create a new profile to write this story in order to get your mature and genuine advise on this issue which will be appreciated. I will try to answer your questions while also making the narration short.

Husband- I'm married to a nice and pleasant man who up to two years ago was my friend and anchor but today he's a different person in many ways but this story is not about him.

Me-I'm an average person who tries to live life the best way I can. My MAJOR flaws according to my husband is that I like things being done right as much as possible. For examples,; if we have plan to do anything-savings, paying school fees, keeping secrets, etc. I expect us to live up to our word on such matters except we both agree to change things. My husband feels I am difficult and impossible because I won't condone wrong doing and i like things being done appropriately.(i understand mistakes but not persistent wrong doing).

My family-we are generally independent and so for example since I got married, my people has not requested any form of monetary assistance from my husband and they don't visit much except they come to assist or see my mum who stays with us to care for our child...

My husband's family-he is the youngest of the family. They are all older and in their up bringing older onse are ALWAYS right no matter what.

Issue-since I got married and put to bed twice, my husband's family has NEVER called my parents (before or after the wedding) to acknowledge this or thank them. When I was wondering what the issue is "my husband said his parents almost had an accident when they travelled back home after our wedding and that my parents did not call them (none of us me or my family members was aware of this until about two years ago). Right now, unfortunately, I lost my Dad who came to see us and the grandchild I just had...My husband dropped him at a bus stop he's suppose to take a bus home from-he died in an accident on his way home. Now, my in-laws have still not called mum and my husband expect me to have a good relationship with his family or else he will be worse than he is. It is so bad that his elder brother came to the house and did not greet my mum, this is not the first time and my husband said he spoken with him about it.


Please advise how you will handle this situation as a man or woman.

Also, is marriage about becoming a slave to one's husband's family?
How do you have a good relationship with a family who does not acknowledge your family?

By the way, my husband suggested burying my Dad in a vault (leaving his body for the cemetery people to do whatever they like after the burial)because he felt we had a week to bury my father and this caused a major issue with my brothers who felt hurt by his statement in view of how my Dad died. Since then, he said my brothers has been direspecting him-one of them has never even been to my house since I got married.

Forgive the typos.0

Seun and co please move this to front page.

I'm cc chaircover and co

Twinkleme:
Hello everyone, i had to create a new profile to write this story in order to get your mature and genuine advise on this issue which will be appreciated. I will try to answer your questions while also making the narration short.

Husband- I'm married to a nice and pleasant man who up to two years ago was my friend and anchor but today he's a different person in many ways but this story is not about him.

Me-I'm an average person who tries to live life the best way I can. My MAJOR flaws according to my husband is that I like things being done right as much as possible. For examples,; if we have plan to do anything-savings, paying school fees, keeping secrets, etc. I expect us to live up to our word on such matters except we both agree to change things. My husband feels I am difficult and impossible because I won't condone wrong doing and i like things being done appropriately.(i understand mistakes but not persistent wrong doing).

My family-we are generally independent and so for example since I got married, my people has not requested any form of monetary assistance from my husband and they don't visit much except they come to assist or see my mum who stays with us to care for our child...

My husband's family-he is the youngest of the family. They are all older and in their up bringing older onse are ALWAYS right no matter what.

Issue-since I got married and put to bed twice, my husband's family has NEVER called my parents (before or after the wedding) to acknowledge this or thank them. When I was wondering what the issue is "my husband said his parents almost had an accident when they travelled back home after our wedding and that my parents did not call them (none of us me or my family members was aware of this until about two years ago). Right now, unfortunately, I lost my Dad who came to see us and the grandchild I just had...My husband dropped him at a bus stop he's suppose to take a bus home from-he died in an accident on his way home. Now, my in-laws have still not called mum and my husband expect me to have a good relationship with his family or else he will be worse than he is. It is so bad that his elder brother came to the house and did not greet my mum, this is not the first time and my husband said he spoken with him about it.


Please advise how you will handle this situation as a man or woman.

Also, is marriage about becoming a slave to one's husband's family?
How do you have a good relationship with a family who does not acknowledge your family?

By the way, my husband suggested burying my Dad in a vault (leaving his body for the cemetery people to do whatever they like after the burial)because he felt we had a week to bury my father and this caused a major issue with my brothers who felt hurt by his statement in view of how my Dad died. Since then, he said my brothers has been direspecting him-one of them has never even been to my house since I got married.

Forgive the typos.

Seun and co please move this to front page.

I'm cc chaircover and co
Sorry about everything ok? My advice to you is to ignore everything, stop giving attention to there behaviors. Choose to be happy and move on.
Keep talking to to God about it.They will get tired one day.

Funlordjnr:
See marriage?


Look o.p marriage is a medium for YOU and your PARTNER to build a new union for YOU and YOUR KIDS to both to cater to!


Your priorities should be doing the best for your KIDS and not walking on egg shells around your extended families or caring who texted who or who did not greet whose mother or father!


Both your families have fault lines so for now allow your husband focus on his family and you face your own! Bone all these unnecessary issues and focus on YOU, YOUR HUSBAND and YOUR KIDS!



It seems both sets of your families are filled with members who don't have anything going for them in their lives hence why they need to use you guys as a distraction or as a pleace to display their wickedness or frustrations!


With time everyone may outgrow all this crap, but if not I don't see how what your family eats should be making your inlaws go to the toilet!


FACE FRONT and focus on your nuclear family for now! Being besties with your inlaws is not by force and sometimes your marriage is more peaceful when you keep them at arms length!

Horsesmouth:


I am sure you are a yoruba woman with your skewed judgement of another yoruba womans nonsense story.

Have you heard the husbands side?

anyway, i dont blame you, i blame the husband dat married the yoruba woman. He is in trouble he doesnt know yet.

Kachisbarbie:
I await the people that'll say you don't like your horsebands' family.

RIP to the your dad,tough time for your family .

Is the issue that your inlaws don't call your parents? What of your parents, do they call them? I really don't see any issue here, forgive me for that.

If your parents call them too, they should have been aware they 'almost had an accident', because I expect them to have called to confirm if they got home safely and in the course of that call, they should have mentioned the averted accident. So, I think they reserve the right to be angry but bearing a grudge for so long is the problem.
If your parents called and they didn't mention it, ignore all the rubbish up there .

The problem I have with most people in life/marriage is that they expect too much from others.
You don't greet me_ I don't have to respond, we both save energy.
I marry you don't call me_ it doesn't stop the marriage.
I born, you still don't call_ it doesn't stop my child from growing, neither does it reduce his/her IQ. That's the kinda person I am, it has helped keep my sanity in check. Adopt this style and you'll live longer.

No, you don't have to slave for any human, be it inlaw or nah. If only women can stop all the pseudo-humility.
If you don't like something or can't do something, say it as politely as possible _ don't expect anyone to read your mind.

Ignore your husband's suggestion on how to bury your dad, maybe that's his view on how people should be buried. In the longrun, he gave his suggestion (albeit a stoopid one). The final decision lies in your family's hands.


I simply have a 'good relationship' with them. I ignore, I try not to count their f*ckups, because if I do, I must treat it.
Life is a whole lot easier that way.

You are matured. God bless you for this!

#I'mLearning

Twinkleme:
Hello everyone, i had to create a new profile to write this story in order to get your mature and genuine advise on this issue which will be appreciated. I will try to answer your questions while also making the narration short.

Husband- I'm married to a nice and pleasant man who up to two years ago was my friend and anchor but today he's a different person in many ways but this story is not about him.

Me-I'm an average person who tries to live life the best way I can. My MAJOR flaws according to my husband is that I like things being done right as much as possible. For examples,; if we have plan to do anything-savings, paying school fees, keeping secrets, etc. I expect us to live up to our word on such matters except we both agree to change things. My husband feels I am difficult and impossible because I won't condone wrong doing and i like things being done appropriately.(i understand mistakes but not persistent wrong doing).

My family-we are generally independent and so for example since I got married, my people has not requested any form of monetary assistance from my husband and they don't visit much except they come to assist or see my mum who stays with us to care for our child...

My husband's family-he is the youngest of the family. They are all older and in their up bringing older onse are ALWAYS right no matter what.

Issue-since I got married and put to bed twice, my husband's family has NEVER called my parents (before or after the wedding) to acknowledge this or thank them. When I was wondering what the issue is "my husband said his parents almost had an accident when they travelled back home after our wedding and that my parents did not call them (none of us me or my family members was aware of this until about two years ago). Right now, unfortunately, I lost my Dad who came to see us and the grandchild I just had...My husband dropped him at a bus stop he's suppose to take a bus home from-he died in an accident on his way home. Now, my in-laws have still not called mum and my husband expect me to have a good relationship with his family or else he will be worse than he is. It is so bad that his elder brother came to the house and did not greet my mum, this is not the first time and my husband said he spoken with him about it.


Please advise how you will handle this situation as a man or woman.

Also, is marriage about becoming a slave to one's husband's family?
How do you have a good relationship with a family who does not acknowledge your family?

By the way, my husband suggested burying my Dad in a vault (leaving his body for the cemetery people to do whatever they like after the burial)because he felt we had a week to bury my father and this caused a major issue with my brothers who felt hurt by his statement in view of how my Dad died. Since then, he said my brothers has been direspecting him-one of them has never even been to my house since I got married.

Forgive the typos.

Seun and co please move this to front page.

I'm cc chaircover and co

yetseyi:
I have always said nairalanders are never realistic


What kind of grudge did they have against her parents that even at her dads death they still couldn't forgive and at least call to commiserate with her mum.

Even if they have been quarelling at least not to the point of the death of the dad now.

What kind of family is that.

Who among us here will be happy that his/her in-laws refuse to call his/her mum to at least greet her about the death of his/her dad simply because the dead person and his wife didn't call them at some point when they almost had an accident when coming back from their sons wedding.


Do they hold grudges against a dead man or am I the only one reading that part of the story?

Op needs to be concerned, she should be worried, what kind of value system does that family have.


The elder brother even came and saw the bereaved woman and didn't even greet her, if not for anything at least for the death of her husband.

What if the wives family also decides to hold a grudge against the hubby that if he had driven him home and not at the bustop he may not have died at that time.

What kind of people behave like this, there's something wrong somewhere, even if there is a bigger issue, you dont quarell with people even in death or their time of mourning - at least where I come from.

I feel its quite immature to behave this way.

You should be concerned about that family really concerned and pray too.