these words of his to me, “love is an overused word in the dictionary”. Don’t be deceived, there is no perfect love”. This really changed my perception about people, love, and the world entirely. I never ever dreamt of breaking up with him not to talk of realising that he never really loved me.

Our love was like a fairytale. Those kind of Cinderella love story that is said or assumed to last forever after. I was caught in the euphoria of a perfect love, realising less that i was already lost, i lost myself loving him, forgetting that i should leave a space for myself and to expect or better still be conscious of the fact that disappointment could come at any time. But how could i not get carried away in such perfect love A love / match that was heaven made. I mean!!! A lot of people envied us and wished to have a love like ours. That place you are aspiring to be could be worse than where you are now.

It seemed like we share the same level of love. Though at times, there were always little dramas that was enough to call for a re-think but was neglected all along. Yea!! He was always there to cover up for his errors with planned surprises..O.M.G!! Those romantic surprises that would make a lady forget the errors her partner committed. Those scenario of coming back from a rough day and you are led to your room with tiny roses, decorating both the room and the bed. With a lovely short sexy red gown and other accessories and a note saying “am sorry bae… meet me at **** place, am there waiting for you” Peeping through the window, a cab is there already waiting for me. And i always smile to myself sheepishly and forget the error that was done. We never discussed our differences because no space was created for it. Yea!!! that’s how charming he could be. You can imagine right Why i was so lost in loving him.

Now those tiny remarks and actions now make sense to me. Those days of late nights, in-explainable anger, constant mood swings. Angrily demanding for sex and when refused you become a wolf, forgetting our anniversary etc.

We have been together for two years,three months, two weeks, five days, twelve hours, ten minutes and forty five seconds Yeah!!!. That was how much i loved him. But i didn’t know and never felt that i was a second option. I didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to me.

He left after a minor quarrel. I decided to keep calm having dialled his number for days and there was no answer. My text messages were not replied. My pings were ignored. I gave up, trying to contact him. Left to myself, due to boredom, i started browsing through my BBM’s contacts. Pinging up friends whom i had abandoned in the course of our relationship. Just then a friend pinged me up. Requesting i accompany her to a wedding occasion. I gave her a no at the first request but with much persuasion and plead, i gave in. I never knew that would bring to light all hidden issues and reasons for his leaving.

We got to the reception venue and on seeing the groom, i passed out. Waking up in a hotel room my friend took me too to revive me, i tried telling her about my dream of seeing my love as a groom in a wedding she accompanied me to. Just then, she said to me, “it is no dream my dear, it is real. Your acclaimed darling is married”.

Tell me people…..Can i still love again Those reveries of wonderful moment with me cannot leave my mind. I hate him for making me love him, i hate myself more for loving him completely. Do you think i can survive this

STFUareyouG0d:
Firstly, you have to love yourself