In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)




HER BIRTHDAY

-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)




A NIGHT OUT

-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)


YOUR PHYSIQUE

-- You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)




ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)


COMMUNICATION

-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

I love this

Very hilarious . . . .I likey.

Missy B:

Very hilarious . . . .I likey.

Ebonyeyes:

I love this

'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of?

Emperoh:

'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of?

After so much oppression by your gender?

~So subscribing!!

But seriously, making a woman happy really makes for a great foundation for any relationship!!

dont care if u've been together for thirteen days or thirty years!!

Emperoh:

'Why una no go like am. . . . .no be women empowerment we dey talk of?

Forgive me . . . but like every human, I love to be treated rightly.

Emperoh:

Or when u try to use emotional blackmail to whips into line? Thank God for Polygamy
At least i can marry as much as i want!!
Est-ce que ca t'interresse?

Goodluck with that, make sure you stock up on ibuprofen when your house becomes a battlefield

Dayo, na you open eye write these things? You get time oooo

roflmao i absolutely love dis

Nice

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

lol. its supposed to be, You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." =divorce attorney hotline

cool.

Funny.

Love it.

Nice1. Hilarious.
A great way to end the weekend.

Got (-18) for my deep noisy laughter sha.

@OP: Cute and very funny, hahahaha!

cuul but it gonna be diffcult for me cux am alwayz the busy type

but one thing u shuld put into consideration is that it may work for some ppl while to some no.
human being are different

wow

@ Dayo my main man . . . . nice one. . . . . . .funny this is coming from u though. . . . .

I never make the bed.

LOL

How about rules to make a good christian?

EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT POST.

Dayokannu, you the man. This is the best thing i've read on nairaland since sagamite's "What Nairaland Female Members' Pictures Say To Me."
https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-316937.0.html


Once again, this is an incredibly funny thread, the -8000 had me going. By the way, where did you get this one from?

My kind of man

thumbs up bro

lol

:d ;d :d ;d