It's a common stereotype that for men, sex is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's good. But that's one of the many sexual myths that we might want throw out for good. "We always talk about the differences between men and women, but I think we've exaggerated that," says Abraham Morgentaler, M.D., author of Why Men Fake It: The Totally Unexpected Truth About Men and Sex. As the director of Men's Health Boston and an associate clinical professor of urology at Harvard Medical School, Morgentaler has been helping men with their sex lives for over 25 years. And as the title of his book implies, he's heard some very interesting things in his practice.

So we asked Morgentaler to enlighten us with some of the most surprising things women don't know about men and sex. You might want to sit down for this:

Men Can—And Do—Fake Orgasms
In the case study that inspired the book, one man came to Morgentaler complaining that he didn't know how to stop faking orgasms with his girlfriend. He hadn't been able to climax during intercourse for most of his life, but since he really cared about his new girlfriend, he'd resorted to faking it so that she wouldn't get offended. Shocked? He's not the only one. "As this book was being written and I was talking to people about it, it was astonishing to me how many men said they've faked it in their lives," says Morgentaler. So what about the matter of, um, evidence? If you're using a condom, you probably wouldn't know if he disposed of it pretty quickly. "If you're not using a condom, it's often a question of how much fluid is down there and how aware is the woman," says Morgentaler.

A Male Orgasm Doesn't Always Come with Evidence
Seriously! In some cases, men can actually orgasm without ejaculating, says Morgentaler. In some men with diabetes, the opening to the bladder doesn't close well, and the fluid can go back into the bladder (it's released when they urinate after sex). Another slightly more common example is older men who have had a radical prostatectomy. And although Morgentaler isn't totally sure about this one, people who practice tantric sex often believe that men can experience an orgasm without ejaculating.

They Fake it for the Same Reasons Women Fake It
According to most of the men Morgentaler has treated, the primary reason for faking it was because it just wasn't going to happen for them during sex (which is also one of the reasons women fake orgasms). Maybe he's had too much drink, he's feeling anxious, or he's on medications for anxiety or depression that make it harder to orgasm. "It's almost the same as what happens with women," says Morgentaler. "It's a way of saying to their partner that they still did a good job, everything's fine, and it's enough for now." Essentially, both genders fake it for pretty unselfish reasons. (That said, it doesn't make it the best idea. Read our tips to never fake an orgasm again.)

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