Its actually not difficult for a man to find someone to marry. However, some conditions have to be met

1. Fairly decent Job
2. Average looks
3. Respectable Personality
4. Fair prospect in life

When these four are complete, the next thing is actually an internal battle to be fought and won.
1. There is no perfect lady anywhere
2. Choose a girl in your social class or lower
3. Learn the art of courting a lady

Finis!

On the spiritual side
Pray, Look, Like, Study, Pray, Propose, Get Answer,..

For the Ladies, it is far much difficult. If a lady is interested in marriage let her not wait to be 23 years old. The earlier the better.

Ladies, its not by good looks oh!
Its not by dress sense or fashion!
Its by saying YES to the right man at the RIGHT time.

You never know when the last eligible bachelor will propose. Don't wait until you complete your PhD before you entertain that man.

Your location matters too. You need a decent husband material and you go sit for club house. You go wait taya!

What's this nigga talkin' about?

Ladies beware!!!

I hope this nigga is not codedly trying to grab some really desperate ladies out there while using reverse psychology?

Nigga, we are men and unless you are the only son or something like that, fact is men have nothing to do with desperation when it comes to marriage

We choose when, where, with who, in short... everything

That's just one of the few remaining privileges that the society has bestowed upon us. Nature also gave us a little helping hand in that regards too by prolonging our expiry date so what desperation are you really talking about?

I think you are just pressurizing yourself now unnecessarily by allowing societal pressure to get the best of you now and not necessarily because you see the need in getting married because I can't recall you mentioning any worthwhile reason for you to get married in your monologue except that you are just feeling desperate.

Or maybe, you are now beginning to panic because fingers are now pointing and tongues are now wagging that you could be gay or something like that, right? And you are now getting desperate to prove to the world that you are not

Well, never mind me. You have your reasons. For most guys especially in this part of the world, that reason is usually finance.

On one hand, you have men who are mainly financially handicapped to sustain a healthy marriage. And on the other hand, you have women who are obsessed with getting married but are not readily disposed towards financially contributing to the success of the union because they strongly and myopically believe it's strictly a man's job to financially sustain the union even in the face of reality of unemployment and rising cost of living.

The result is more and more men waiting for a longer while to be fully 'ready' in all ramifications before they even start considering the idea of getting married.

Anyway, whatever be your situation, I wish you good luck in advance in finding that special girl who will help you end that worrisome desperation you are talkin' about.

As for me, I will be getting married in em...em...

Nah, I am never ever going to get married.

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

Is he delaying you?police no dey catch late comer u know? Buh 41? Haba...just tell him to impregnate one girl DT u will take of dt

I agree with you totally, this is a feeling common among both folks but what I think precipates this mostly among men is not being financially buoyant yet to enter into such responsibility. I for one my forecast was to marry at 28 but now 30 n that didn't happen because am not yet stable financially n the feeling to settle down is quite overwhelming

The fact that you actually declined traveling abroad because you wanted to stay back and get married to a Nigerian lady is the ridiculous part in all of this. I think that clearly shows your perception of marriage and the value you place on the same. You seem to have been desparate about marriage since seven years to make you turn down leaving the country. Perhaps this desperation of yours is entirely self-inflicted and nothing new in you at all. I'll suggest you take it easy on yourself henceforth.

Those of us wey kuku get fine and sensible village chics need not worry,if marriage mata choke us,sharply mumsy go text me the latest bae 2 marry..lol..
.
.
i feel 4 this guy,but he has many options,he probably set his standards to high...

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

hahahahaha

Cutehector:
at a point I felt it's only immature people that would correlate comments with one's age.

oops sorry. you getting a bit rusty. you should brush up on understanding sarcasm. buhari need to double up.

Dammn this post has got my cracking my head after reading, and most of the comment also make me wana nudge most pple. Dis post its all over me as a man….am in my mid thirties still not married’ What kind of life is this no wife no kid’s even babe mama I don’t have….sometimes I think felt someone is just pulling my heart out of my chest when I start thinking that am still single, I think am having emotional trauma.

But it’s really high time we have dating section on this forum, a legitimate platform where single guy’s and ladies can meet up. My uncle once told me that I we’re all get to a certain stage in life where we start craving to have togetherness with a woman, and longing to be with one forever...

mysticgal:
This post coming from a guy proves that desperation to get married is experienced by male and female....
Op I wish you all the best in your search for the person.
Good luck

GUYS FEEL D DESPERATION BT SAYING IT OUT IS RARE

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

I love that your elder brother for real.

gidjah:
Thanks sister,bawo nio?eku ojo meta ati abo,we ise nlo dede ?

mi wa,eyin nko?adupe fun oluwa..eku airi Eni ai Bere eni

proddey:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt only ladies become desperate to get married; I never knew that guys also become desperate at a particular age.

Once a 35 yr old single lady in my former office was crying in the office. She refused to speak on the reason why she was crying until she eventually opened up to one of my colleagues to say that she feels like she might never get married again. Apparently she had tried all she could but no one seems to be interested in her hand in marriage. It was actually quite amusing to me because I used to think that we all have the ability to control our emotions regardless of what we are passing through.

Everything changed about me when I turned 34. One day I was on my bed in my bedroom and suddenly I felt a rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden I just began to realise that I was desperate to get married. I really can’t explain what happened to me that day; you need to actually experience it to know what I’m talking about. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer bear it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage or weddings around me; I would just stylishly excuse myself from their midst.

In my office they nicknamed me "the oldest bachelor". Trust me, I really don’t find that nickname funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" These are questions that I just can't take emotionally. Naija peeps could be so insensitive at times! I’ve had two ladies tell me that they cried on their 30th birthday because they never ever imagined that they’d still be single at age 30.

I must confess that when I go to church these days, I barely pay attention to what is being preached. Instead my eyes just keep roaming round the church checking out all the single ladies to see which one of them I can poach on immediately after service.

I was meant to travel to the U.S seven years ago but I decided not to because I felt my chances of marrying a Nigerian lady would be higher if I remained in Nigeria. Seven years has passed and still nothing nothing. For those of you who feel changing location, like returning back to Nigeria, would increase your chances of finding a spouse, it is not guaranteed, you had better just remained where you are. Your spouse would locate you there. Your life must continue and you shouldn’t make decisions around finding a partner.

For those of you who got married early or who are still young so you never experienced the pressure to get married, you really don’t know what matured singles are passing through. Sometimes, you find yourself thinking too much and the thoughts can really weigh you down. Matured single ladies cry a lot.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can only imagine what the ladies are passing through emotionally and psychologically. I know that ladies feel the pressure much more. At least we guys don’t have our biological clocks to think about. It gets to a stage that your parents will stop disturbing you to get married, they’ll now start praying for you.

For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age and particularly to the right person so that you don't have to pass through the emotions of desperation to get married.

am surprised this is coming from a man....a big AMEN to that,just be calm about it and let GOD do the work

Raise your hand if you're desperate to get married. I may be of help.

Anyways,

Innovation is good. Check out the cool TAPme app your fellow Nigerians are working on. Don't be left out. This app will one day take over from Whatsapp and Allo. Work/coding in progress... Check it out and join the #TeamTAPme to motivate your fellow Nigerians/Africans.


www.nairaland.com/3365339/tapme-whatsapp-leaving-allo-coming#49591010

So, when any of you finally gets married don't forget to tell your SO to install TAPme on his or her phone to enable the two of you TAP each other better via TAPme and not Whatsapp.

Are you sure his machine gun is still intact?

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

Coldfeets:
What's this nigga talkin' about?

Ladies beware!!!

I hope this nigga is not codedly trying to grab some really desperate ladies out there while using reverse psychology?

Nigga, we are men and unless you are the only son or something like that, fact is men have nothing to do with desperation when it comes to marriage

We choose when, where, with who, in short... everything

That's just one of the few remaining privileges that the society has bestowed upon us. Nature also gave us a little helping hand in that regards too by prolonging our expiry date so what desperation are you really talking about?

I think you are just pressurizing yourself now unnecessarily by allowing societal pressure to get the best of you now and not necessarily because you see the need in getting married because I can't recall you mentioning any worthwhile reason for you to get married in your monologue except that you are just feeling desperate.

Or maybe, you are now beginning to panic because fingers are now pointing and tongues are now wagging that you could be gay or something like that, right? And you are now getting desperate to prove to the world that you are not

Well, never mind me. You have your reasons. For most guys especially in this part of the world, that reason is usually finance.

On one hand, you have men who are mainly financially handicapped to sustain a healthy marriage. And on the other hand, you have women who are obsessed with getting married but are not readily disposed towards financially contributing to the success of the union because they strongly and myopically believe it's strictly a man's job to financially sustain the union even in the face of reality of unemployment and rising cost of living.

The result is more and more men waiting for a longer while to be fully 'ready' in all ramifications before they even start considering the idea of getting married.

Anyway, whatever be your situation, I wish you good luck in advance in finding that special girl who will help you end that worrisome desperation you are talkin' about.

As for me, I will be getting married in em...em...

Nah, I am never ever going to get married.

You state the facts. Marriage need to be properly looked into before taking that step.

used to think like the @op, but i realized i have to compromise to choose a lady. i really ever believed i'll have to compromise.

Everything has its own appointed time.

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

Only God knows how many PM this person go dey receive per day. See as she fine like sweet potato.

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

Please direct him to (MFM)) prayer city for deliverance. Lol.

cindybaby22:
Surprised this is coming from a guy
thought it apply to we ladies alone
my elder bro is going to be 41 this month & he doesn't feel the need to get married at all.
him matter tire me

ur bro na gay

Not at all. At least,I earn enough to take care of myself and at least 5 adults monthly. It's not always about money but sometimes,about finding the right person. At a point,most of the girls I ended up liking and falling in love wth,ended up being of a different religion and since I broke up with my fiancee in 2011/12 over religious issues despite loving her dearly,I made a promise not to ever date outside my religion. And of course,the process of finding and falling in love with someone that matches your desire/taste,isn't as simple as abc. You have to search,study,observe and evaluate such a person,before taking the step to date. It doesn't happen overnight.

Cutehector:
chronique is this applicable in ur situation?

After reading through some of the comments, I think the earlier the better for a lady to settle down before focusing on career.

But what do you do when the right and serious partner is not coming for the good lady?

what do you do when your past experiences with some guys is affecting your decision on moving ahead...

VolTOxic:
I think something is wrong with me because honestly I had a good laugh reading this. Anyway, I always like to believe for men, getting married isn't a problem. I still do. Getting married to the right person is the problem.
Sha. I hope you get to marry someone that loves you.

and what are you laughing at exactly, bruh?

chronique:
Not at all. At least,I earn enough to take care of myself and at least 5 adults monthly. It's not always about money but sometimes,about finding the right person. At a point,most of the girls I ended up liking and falling in love wth,ended up being of a different religion and since I broke up with my fiancee in 2011/12 over religious issues despite loving her dearly,I made a promise not to ever date outside my religion. And of course,the process of finding and falling in love with someone that matches your desire/taste,isn't as simple as abc. You have to search,study,observe and evaluate such a person,before taking the step to date. It doesn't happen overnight.

why not engage a long time female friend you already know?


Starting up new relationships is pretty tasking.

[quote author=Taryur3 post=49589980][/quote]

thanks

Iamhatey:
Seriously, it's not easy.

I am kind of surprised this is coming from a guy. I means you guys can always get any girl at any time right


Op, 7years and still searching .

It's like you are searching for a perfect lady.

I wish you all the best thou.
Nice write up.

sometimes the girl u really want is not available and the ones who u don't consider ideal for marriage would be d ones running afta u...dats d situation at times

proddey:
I am a 37 year old bachelor and I must confess that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that someday I would be desperate to get married. When I was in my twenties, I used to hear of desperation amongst ladies to get married but I never clearly understood the feeling. I felt only ladies become desperate to get married; I never knew that guys also become desperate at a particular age.

Once a 35 yr old single lady in my former office was crying in the office. She refused to speak on the reason why she was crying until she eventually opened up to one of my colleagues to say that she feels like she might never get married again. Apparently she had tried all she could but no one seems to be interested in her hand in marriage. It was actually quite amusing to me because I used to think that we all have the ability to control our emotions regardless of what we are passing through.

Everything changed about me when I turned 34. One day I was on my bed in my bedroom and suddenly I felt a rush of emotions come upon me so strongly that all of a sudden I just began to realise that I was desperate to get married. I really can’t explain what happened to me that day; you need to actually experience it to know what I’m talking about. By the following year the desperate feeling became like torture and the loneliness was so depressing. I could no longer bear it when I attended weddings to see other young couples getting married. I could no longer stand it when I hear people discussing marriage or weddings around me; I would just stylishly excuse myself from their midst.

In my office they nicknamed me "the oldest bachelor". Trust me, I really don’t find that nickname funny at all. Even when people innocently ask "Hey, why are you not yet married?" or "what are u waiting for?" These are questions that I just can't take emotionally. Naija peeps could be so insensitive at times! I’ve had two ladies tell me that they cried on their 30th birthday because they never ever imagined that they’d still be single at age 30.

I must confess that when I go to church these days, I barely pay attention to what is being preached. Instead my eyes just keep roaming round the church checking out all the single ladies to see which one of them I can poach on immediately after service.

I was meant to travel to the U.S seven years ago but I decided not to because I felt my chances of marrying a Nigerian lady would be higher if I remained in Nigeria. Seven years has passed and still nothing nothing. For those of you who feel changing location, like returning back to Nigeria, would increase your chances of finding a spouse, it is not guaranteed, you had better just remained where you are. Your spouse would locate you there. Your life must continue and you shouldn’t make decisions around finding a partner.

For those of you who got married early or who are still young so you never experienced the pressure to get married, you really don’t know what matured singles are passing through. Sometimes, you find yourself thinking too much and the thoughts can really weigh you down. Matured single ladies cry a lot.

If me as a guy could be feeling like this, I can only imagine what the ladies are passing through emotionally and psychologically. I know that ladies feel the pressure much more. At least we guys don’t have our biological clocks to think about. It gets to a stage that your parents will stop disturbing you to get married, they’ll now start praying for you.

For those of you reading my post, it is my prayer that you all get married at the right time and age and particularly to the right person so that you don't have to pass through the emotions of desperation to get married.

Amen In JESUS Name ..i feel Your pain bro.

marry marry marry!

the best is to stay out of marriage.

I have channeled that marriage whatever thinking to achieving my goals.

(to be honest I don't feel like meeting up with women or toasting or approaching because I'm tired. just tired of there behavior, tired of everything about black women,)

those of you men who are feeling desperate to marry i think something is wrong with ya all! probable idleness.

Bad news is that "I don't have any long time female friend that isn't married". Even my juniors from school,are married.

Cutehector:
why not engage a long time female friend you already know?


Starting up new relationships is pretty tasking.

Marriage is over rated, ask brangelina.