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Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 9:07am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Barely three seconds ago, a thread about the oppressive nature of the African marriage was opened and women were nigh unanimous in agreement with the content of the OP of that thread. Perhaps, this man thinks women might find him oppressive, perhaps not. What I do note is that he has no intentions of holding back any woman who might prefer independence from such an oppressive institution, incidentally "a construct of the Patriarchy". One would think the hordes of independent-minded women would jump at this offer. After all, open marriages are becoming a thing, even babymamaism. What is the problem with this young man's request, women? Why does he have to marry the mother of his child? Last week, or thereabouts, soooo many women advised a pregnant 23year old woman to go it alone. Her boyfriend has been a bellend so "dump his trifling ass, nothing do you." Never mind the fact they reconciled and have decide to make the relationship work. Meanwhile, divorce is rife, I hear Badagry is a hotbed for marital dissolution these days. What, really, is the big deal about marriage? Can't a single man and a single woman just decide to have a child together. Isn't it 2016 anymore? The mind truly boggles. sisisioge: Why should a man woo? What would be the purpose, and who would the wooing benefit? Why is it lazy for a man to woo, but not a woman, in 2016 no less! Are you sexist? 8 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Viking007(m): 9:12am On Nov 04, 2016 |
^^^ Women are their own worst enemy. 2 Likes
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Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 9:27am On Nov 04, 2016 |
automatix:Spot on !! |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Nobody: 9:33am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Joavid: If you are poor, there is a 99 percent chance you will be ugly, because you don't even have enough money to take care of yourself. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 9:41am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: No time even reading from the all-knowing critics..my request is straight forward enough. An aye for the interested and a nay for the uniterested. The ayes can do me a mail while we take it up from there while the nays can keep their opinions and take a quiet walk. Very simple! 2 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Feanah(f): 9:45am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Joavid:Haba that's harsh...you don't know his story 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by kramfonos(m): 9:58am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 10:01am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Feanah: Her likes are best ignored until they get a grip of what life truly means. 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by thorpido(m): 10:04am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Well people have choices and they do have that liberty to make their choice. However,the fact still remains that raising a child in a stable and loving home where there is a father and a mother remains the best for that child. We should put that into consideration above our selfish interests. 8 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 10:19am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Viking007: I'm only trying to understand them is all. Hopefully, a rep of theirs can do the honours of explicating their basic tenets. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Viking007(m): 10:26am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: Good luck with that sire. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Viking007(m): 10:27am On Nov 04, 2016 |
daddytime: |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Nobody: 10:40am On Nov 04, 2016 |
thorpido: my point exactly @ bolded. 3 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by sisisioge: 11:10am On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: Whew! After all this your English, you still had to quote me? Anyways, life is all about choices with a scale of preference. Being a baby mama is not totally unheard of but definitely not one of the top on any sane girl's list. The society will be a much better place if we breed less of dysfunctional families thus improving the outputs to the society at large. OP should keep trying...he just might find. 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by sisisioge: 11:19am On Nov 04, 2016 |
daddytime: Ennnh! You even have an almost caustic mouth Interesting...and that bobo was actually advocating for you o. Whew, I hope the girl interested comes with a lawyer man...she's so gonna need it 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 11:35am On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge: Naaa nothing sodaic about my mouth dear you probably misread me..i understand the guy was rooting for me and did like his comment as well to butress that. I'm just a realist,so ignore my bluntness. 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 1:41pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge: Do you know whether I like you and am beginning my wooing campaign? Surely, you don't have to see the wooing coming before it is a wooing. Anyway, I agree with the effects of irresponsible childbearing on society and I would rather OP found a good woman to marry and have children with than some surrogacy arrangement. Daddytime, I would suggest tabling your matter before the brethren @ https://www.nairaland.com/1582623/boys-night-out-discussions |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 1:44pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge: Are you observing a fast? You seem to misunderstand the comment you quoted. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 1:56pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: Thanks mate for the heads up |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Onegai(f): 2:01pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Daddytime, have you thought things through? What if the mother decides to relocate to another country? What if she gets married, and her new husband is now the de-facto fatherly presence in the child's life, then what? If you really want a child, you realise that fertility clinics exist all over Nigeria where people donate eggs and Surrogates exist to carry the (if) successful pregnancy to term, giving you your own child, less complications. If you're serious about this, why not do that? Put your money where your intent is and you can get the ball rolling on the whole process. 6 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by automatix: 2:09pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Onegai:One of the smartest woman we have around here. Your husband lucky die |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by sisisioge: 2:13pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: Whoops! You are gonna have to forgive me for being such a girl. Wonder what I was thinking reading words written in "guy's" language. Daddytime,biko stick to English alone. Girls may be reading your posts too |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 2:19pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge:funny you |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by sisisioge: 2:20pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: How I wan take know @bolded? What's so wrong in coming straight to the girl and showing her your cards? Life isn't as difficult as we are making it...does the idea of OP wooing a girl into birthing kids for him sound far-fetched? Yes, I have seen that sheet play out before, all na offerer-offeree show. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 2:31pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge: That's for secondary school boys, or for times when a man meets a goddess. You're also discounting the number of rejections guys have accrued when they came out straight. I hear, in fact, that there are guys who masterbate and remain single than be rejected again. Don't hate the player, baby, hate the game. Some play the game in a way that doesn't tamper with their reputation and self-respect others are shameless. Modern marriage is a gamble and quite daunting. People like to offer statistics about weddings happening every Saturday, but they fail to bring up the stats that tell divorces following up on Monday. You see that arranged marriage system that liberalism called oppressive? I guarantee you, it will make a comeback. Then, maybe, people will do away with this ridiculous notion of surrogacy. 2 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Timbuktuo: 2:33pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
sisisioge: Aproko. Wetin consign you for Wetin men dey talk to demsef? |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by sisisioge: 2:39pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Timbuktuo: OK o, it is well. May we all win. Timbuktuo: |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by elektra(f): 3:16pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
Onegai: But surrogacy will require him to raise the child himself. He not only needs a womb, he also need the woman to raise the kid. (Most likely by herself since they are not married and the kid would be staying with her, but I guess it's no big deal because many of the so called married men do not participate in raising their kids sef so what is the point in marrying?) He wants the kid to bear his name and enjoy the nourishment that comes from a mother. 1 Like |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Onegai(f): 3:27pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
elektra: If he NEEDS a woman to raise the child for him, then he wants to a part-time Father. He would be better off finding one of the numerous pregnant ladies here constantly being abandoned and taking up a Uncle role. If he wants to be a parent, he has to be involved in being a parent, unless he wants to be an absentee Father and write a cheque occasionally and make phonecalls and visits on birthdays and show up for photo ops. Children are little human beings, you don't get to return them to their cage after a meal, a quick cuddle and some playtime when you are free. Get a pet The men whom have chosen his path seemed to all have enough money to indulge in being an absentee father. It didn't always work out well, sometimes the child replaced him in their life with a present father. Sometimes it worked out, but usually after he realised he was about to be replaced and deduced that writing a cheque and phonecalls didn't make him a father, he was forced to spend at least 60% of his time with the child. And the mother can still decide to make all the decisions in the child's life and wake up to relocate to Australia and he's back to square one. With Surrogacy, he gets what he wants: to be a Dad! Or did he just want to be an Uncle... 4 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by daddytime(m): 3:40pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
elektra: Thanks dear you go school of person mind. I definitely want to be in the kid (s) life in every way thats ny responsibility. |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by Onegai(f): 4:06pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
daddytime: I'm glad to hear this! But you need to see the full picture, eh Let's say the mother of the child works in a bank. The bank moves her to Calabar branch, from Lagos. Normally, she and her branch manager can apply for a transfer back to Lagos based on Spousal issues. But she is not a spouse and as we saw from that young lady' s thread recently, Companies in Nigeria do not give special considerations to Single Mothers. So off she goes to Calabar and you're in Lagos. Then, one day baby runs a fever overnight (perhaps you should read Newborn thread in Health section, so many reality checks about being a parent there!) and Mama needs help and support with hospital runs. You're too far away and you need to buy a flight ticket to Calabar. Worse, some guy in the Calabar branch is not only supporting her, he's sharing prayers at night by Whatsapp and Tender Good Mornings. He proposes and she accepts and the move to Calabar becomes permanent. Are you going to tell her "hey don't get married to this guy because my claim is stronger"? But it's not. What next... 5 Likes |
Re: Need A Healthy Female Ready To Raise A Kid by boomssey(f): 5:47pm On Nov 04, 2016 |
@poster,do u reside in Lagos? |
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