I have a friend who is an international staff in one of the oil firms in Nigeria, his two children was born in the USA. Recently, he was posted back to Nigeria, his wife became pregnant again and they made plans for to travel back to deliver the child over there since they wanted her to be a US citizen. Before traveling, they made arrangement for a house help to assist in taking care of the children.

By September 2011, she gave birth to a baby girl, her husband went to visit her and the child and came back October 2011. When I asked him of when she is likely to return, he told me that she intend to start work over there. I was not happy with this cos her children are still very little to leave in the hands of a maid.

One day he called me to ask what medication can be used to prevent pregnancy, I wanted to know who is asking for such info but he told me it was his friend that jst got married and dose not want a child yet. I told him to advice his friend to use condom instead of risking his wives womb.

Two weeks ago he called to know a drug for getting rid of 6weeks pregnancy, I was surprised at this but he convinced me that he is not involved but just helping out his friend. Well I told him not use drugs that its better for them to go for D&C.

A week later he invited me to his place, on getting there I met him sweating under his AC, his eyes were all red. I was asking him what the issue was, but he could not look into my eyes, after some minutes he raised his head and said "I did something wrong" I was eager to know what the issue was. First, I asked about the children, he said they were all ok, I they asked about the house help, he told me she is having fever.

So what is the problem then? He repeated "I did sometin very wrong" this time I said let me guess! I said "she is pregnant for you? tears ran down his chics "yes" he said. I freezed! I was shocked to my marrows, I could not believe my ears. I was upset, I could not shout at him even though I wanted to cos he is someone I respect so much, I asked if there are no girls in the street of PH but he replied "U know I am not into girls" he explained he was unable to control himself for a long while.

Where is she I asked, he told me she is inside. I went into the room to find the 19years old girl lying on the bed shaking. The issue is that they went for D&C, it was incomplete becos she could not withstand the pains, I took her for scan and they find water in her womb, I had to rush her back to the clinic where they did the D&C, they doctor said she was in pains so he left her. They then re-did the Operation and I took her home, I nursed her for 4days before she could regain herself.

Tell me, what kind of a career will a woman abandon her family for? Her first child is jst 6yrs old, It is very painfull cos this girl is still living with this man and the kids, how sure am I that it won't happen again

So do you think they man wouldn't have slept with the house maid even if his wife was around??

This type of things happen all the time.

ronkebp:

So do you think they man wouldn't have slept with the house maid even if his wife was around??

how will he when there is source?

The man cheats and it's the woman's fault, right,

Yea.

The man cheated. right. He deserves the balme.

Wives please, dont leave your men up for temptation.

The fact that he is supposed to be faithful does not mean you should dangle the forbidden fruit all up in his face.

A word for the wise.

Note I am not blaming the wife . . just advicing her.

..

^^^

We try.

But please dont constantly and deliberately push us to temptation . . we are not Jesus Christ.

Some women are always doing stuff to test their husbands . . .always.

That is a big lack of trust.

And then they cant handle it when stuff happens.

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What strucks me is that this man, being married and a father of three, should know how to not get a lady pregnant. Plus, to me it doesn't look like the house help was really enjoying it. If he was a real man at least he would have gone for a real woman out there, not for the teenage house help.

Yeah, it's not advisable for a married couple to stay appart for a long time. But how many wives in nigeria raise their families with what their living-abroad-husband send to them? Are they also expected to cheat with a teenager? Would we blame the husband then?

Things might be a little different considering the fact that husband and wife didn't seem to agree on the staying abroad thing in the first place. But for goodness sake, is it a reason to go and have sex with a teenage girl (who might not have been consenting)? This girl is someone's daughter! And you are here blaming the wife? So the man is like a puppy who can't control himself if his master is not there? If he was a widow, would he go and have sex with the house help too? If there is a problem in his marriage, let him solve it or divorce the wife.

I personnally wasn't there when they got married, or when the wife decided to stay abroad, and if there is one thing I know is that we can never tell how a marriage is going from the outside. I have no idea why the lady stayed abroad or why they couldn't agree on this issue. What I know is that not only it is wrong for a man to cheat, but it is even more wrong to do it with a vulnerable teenage girl. And there is no wife to blame for the abject mistake he's done.

chaircover:

If its a test, then it is a very stuupid one because if he fails (which he has done BTW) she runs the risk of loosing everything.

The man and the housegirl respect madam enough to cover their tracks. Some housegirls will move straight into madams bedroom with their pregnancy and be claiming their right.

Very true.

Talk less of using voodoo against the woman and her kids.

I know a lot of married men who have left the U.S for Nigeria to do 'busines' and get 'contracts' . . .leaving their family back here.

We know what they are doing in Nigeria.

Useless men giving us bad names.

Miss_Ife:

What strucks me is that this man, being married and a father of three, should know how to not get a lady pregnant. Plus, to me it doesn't look like the house help was really enjoying it. If he was a real man at least he would have gone for a real woman out there, not for the teenage house help.

Sorry but you are wrong.

You sound like you subscribe to cheating . . .

A real man will do everthing to avoid cheating on his wife.

Even if he has to go bring her back from 'abroad'

kokoye:

Sorry but you are wrong.

You sound like you subscribe to cheating . . .

A real man will do everthing to avoid cheating on his wife.

Even if he has to go bring her back from 'abroad'

yes, that's what I believe in too, but people seem to say that a man cannot stay without sex and that it is very normal for him to cheat since the wife is abroad. I do not subscribe to this belief, but even if it was true, at the very least he should have gone around things differentely i.e. not with a teenager.

^^^

As a man, I will authoritatively tell you that a married man who is on heat and wants to cheat will go for what is available. At that point, he's not thinking with his brain but with his d[i]ic[/i]k.

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CC, i get all you are saying but I am quite surprised at the way you wrap it up. So we live in a damaged world, so everything is fine, rapist, cheaters, thieves?

I believe you have a daughter, I have one too, and I pray that none of them will ever cross the path of an irresponsible man like the one described in this post. I just can't remain calm and blame the lady when I read what he's done.

chaircover:

I know that many couples live apart for various reasons but lets face it for those peeps that it works out for it is the Grace of God & not by power or might.

^^^

Keyphrase is 'the grace of God'

The Lord's prayer : 'lead us not into temptation'

Not very many people can resist temptation . .no matter how hard they try.

A lot of men or women cheated not because they wanted to, but because they thought they could resist it.

Make every attempt to flee adultery . . cos you st might not be able to resist it.

When will women learn?
Men are poly- by nature and will c- once they get the chance!
Those who know my views on these issues can fill in the gaps!

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Tks CC, I get you, I just reacted immediately when reading that the young girl had to get an abortion.

I often complain about my husband but when I read stories here, or when I look around me I thank God for the man He has blessed me with.

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Miss_Ife:

I often complain about my husband but when I read stories here, or when I look around me I thank God for the man He has blessed me with.

Something good out of nairaland at least

^^^^^^^^^that girl was not violated. She willingly agreed, we have cases where the house-helps would run away just because their oga is trying to molest them. She waited until she carried the belle and six weeks later went for an abortion, na God save her life.

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Richy the man has more fault; why because one he has violated his vows (he is the married one remember) and two he is the one in the position of responsibilty

. . . . . . and I will be saying the same thing if a married woman sleeps with her single driver or houseboy.

I laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!''poor innocent godly man'' indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chaircover:

Richy the man has more fault; why because one he has violated his vows (he is the married one remember) and two he is the one in the position of responsibilty

. . . . . . a[b]nd I will be saying the same thing if a married woman sleeps with her single driver or houseboy.[/b]

CC, let it be the bolded one now!!! and you would see all the men on NL drop their 2cents in the matter.

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Women!pls don't stay with ur Husbands o!