izeek:


thats the mistake we all make, hiding things cos we feel we might loose the peron.

i believe you lay it all in theopen from the onset, and if he feels its too muh for him to hndle then let him move along.

izeek:

iice,

just how i c it too.
u dont wait until he hears or finds out, tellhim from the first date.
that way u know if he is there for real or not.

if u postpone it, am sure it wud be aproblem to tell much later.

iice:

Thank you ooo.
I always say, give them the full blast. . .if they stick around, then they are worth all the effort.

Na why, people relationships crumble. . friendship/relationships. Keep tip-toeing around each other

TheSeeker:

Yeah, you're right, just the way I've seen it. One thing is certain though: not everyone knows what to do in certain situations. . . like I said and going from what she said, she wasn't going to hide from him, she wanted to wait a little bit more before she tells him - which I think was a stupid attempt. I'm still sure most ladies nowadays will still hide such from their potential boyfriends depending on where they are or whatever other criteria they have chosen to hide it for.

Now, the question is what should the guy do? This is just like any other secret, maybe a little heavy, but still it's an offense that can be forgiven, if he truly loves her; nevertheless, my friend doesn't know what he wants to do

I think if she was scared, she should have waited a few months not a whole year plus! How do people keep these kinds of secrets? I would think that constantly thinking about telling him or his reaction would just drive her nuts Oh well hindsight as they say is 50/50.

I think he should ask himself if he's willing to forgive and what he wants out of the relationship. . .it's just as much keeping something that important from him as it is a breach of trust.  If he's willing to forgive, then he should have a talk with her.  Ask if there is anything else she's keeping from him and that since they are 'weathering' this storm, she shouldn't be afraid to tell him things. Trust is important, we all know that.  Then he should think of how they will incorporate the child in their lives (unless they plan to keep the child separate from their lives ).  Is he willing to be a father figure (whether they get married or not, he will be a male role model)? Does he understand the responsibilities and circumstances (sacrifices etc) that comes with having a child. . .One step at a time to patching up his relationship.  Good luck to them.