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I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. - Romance - Nairaland

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I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Nobody: 12:20pm On Nov 05, 2009
This is my story,
there is a girl in my church she is a teenager of about 16 we both are friends, on valentines day she sent a message to me. the message touched my heart and since then i av been having feelings for her. i dont know what is on her mind before she sent that message maybe she realy loved me or she just see it as an ordinary message. since then her love started growing in my heart such that i think of her day and night. when i cant keep it to myself any longer, i called her and i asked her the reason why she sent that message but she said she never sent such message to me. the message was mistakenly deleted on my phone so i have no prove to show her. may be she is lying, i dont know. but the love that started by that message has not ended.
so, recently, i decided to tell her that i love her, so i sent a message to her that i love her then she called me and her reply was not yes and it was not no but she said 'dont ever send such message to me again'. with this response, can we conclude that she loves me or not or she is not matured enough to decide?
i am a bornagain christain and so she, we are both workers in the church. i dont know maybe it is wrong for me to tell a girl in the church that i love her (not having a lustfull desire for her).

i want a a godly reply.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Godmother(f): 12:22pm On Nov 05, 2009
Go to the romance section
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 12:26pm On Nov 05, 2009
Give your heart more time to digest her feelings, the result would determine if you yourself love her or just bouncing in the wave of the movement.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by manmustwac(m): 12:38pm On Nov 05, 2009
moved to romantic section
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by manmustwac(m): 12:39pm On Nov 05, 2009
moved to romantic section
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by viaro: 12:42pm On Nov 05, 2009
Pal askat, here's what I would think if I were in your shoes: she's playing the 'spirito' games with me. I either move on and forget the whole scenario as a joke to fill the gaps when there's nothing else to do; or just give her time to grow up a little.

Fine, she's a church worker as you are, she's young and 'fresh' for your blood. . your heart races every time you think of her. .  blah-blah. Your text came as a shock to her (prolly why she reacted that way) but she didn't say yes or no - yeah, we know. .  'spirito' babes like to keep things on a low profile and avoid the monika-lewinsky virus, hehe.  grin

What would I do? I won't conclude anything but just live my life. . . unless there's more to this whole affair than meets the eye.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by lemmycop: 1:17pm On Nov 05, 2009
She is just 16. Wait until she is 18 and see if U still love her smiley
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by sistajay(f): 2:18pm On Nov 05, 2009
Poster

It aint love you're feelin, its infatuation. If I were to send you a love message too, you'll probably feel the same way!!
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Nobody: 12:55am On Nov 06, 2009
sista-jay:

Poster

It aint love you're feelin, its infatuation. If I were to send you a love message too, you'll probably feel the same way!!

@sista jay, i dont understand what u mean. it is not infactuation that i have for her but real love. apart from the fact that she sent a message which she denied, may be someone sent it with her phone and she is not aware of it i dont know, but i realy love her so much with all my heart, she is beautiful gentle disciplined e.t.c in summary she has almost all the qualities that i like my dream wife to have.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by muffins(f): 1:44am On Nov 06, 2009
Another fairytale from Cinderella. angry angry
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by OAM4J: 1:50am On Nov 06, 2009
Wait for her to grow up.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Nobody: 10:09am On Nov 06, 2009
well, i will wait for her to grow up. what if another guy approach her before then and she fall in love with him that means i loose her.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 10:18am On Nov 06, 2009
aksat:

well, i will wait for her to grow up. what if another guy approach her before then and she fall in love with him that means i loose her.

Then go and establish a stead friendship with her first, but always let her know your motives so she does not get too familiar with you hence she starts calling you her brother.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by smooooooth: 10:26am On Nov 06, 2009
go and report ur sef to ur pastor.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by whitesturd(f): 10:29am On Nov 06, 2009
aksat:

well, i will wait for her to grow up. what if another guy approach her before then and she fall in love with him that means i loose her.

u dont ve to wait jare.16 is matured enuf.at least in Nigeria of today,even 16 yr olds give birth.at least we heard of an 11yr old dt jst gave birth.if ur feelings for her is true and sincere, and not jst sexual,go 4 her.jst thread softly and dont rush her to much.i believe she likes u too.i had my first boyfriend wen i was 16.and he respected my feelings of no sex then.though we ve broken up since but i dont regret goin out wt him.we had a nice time.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 10:31am On Nov 06, 2009
whitesturd:

u dont ve to wait jare.16 is matured enuf.at least in Nigeria of today,even 16 yr olds give birth.at least we heard of an 11yr old dt jst gave birth.if your feelings for her is true and sincere, and not jst sexual,go 4 her.jst thread softly and dont rush her to much.i believe she likes u too.i had my first boyfriend wen i was 16.and he respected my feelings of no sex then.though we ve broken up since but i dont regret goin out wt him.we had a nice time.

A 16 years old in Nigeria can't really come out openly in the front of her parents to claim she has a boyfriend especially if she's from a christian home and also from not so rich home, so that might not apply.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by whitesturd(f): 10:45am On Nov 06, 2009
honeric01:

A 16 years old in Nigeria can't really come out openly in the front of her parents to claim she has a boyfriend especially if she's from a christian home and also from not so rich home, so that might not apply.

i am not talkin about openess here.how many 21yr olds can even stand if front of their parents and say dey ve boyfriends?everything is done codedly now.i am jst advising the guy dt it wud truly hurt to see de person u luv,goin out wt another jst because u dnt ve the liver to tel her u do.and as cud be seen here,de babe also likes him too.age is not a barrier wen it comes to love.if its true luv sha.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by schescale: 10:46am On Nov 06, 2009
honeric01:

A 16 years old in Nigeria can't really come out openly in the front of her parents to claim she has a boyfriend especially if she's from a christian home and also from not so rich home, so that might not apply.
           Hmmm
whitesturd:

u dont ve to wait jare.16 is matured enuf.at least in Nigeria of today,even 16 yr olds give birth.at least we heard of an 11yr old dt jst gave birth.if your feelings for her is true and sincere, and not jst sexual,go 4 her.jst thread softly and dont rush her to much.i believe she likes u too.i had my first boyfriend wen i was 16.and he respected my feelings of no sex then.though we ve broken up since but i dont regret goin out wt him.we had a nice time.

@whitesturd  you are such a great councellor
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by whitesturd(f): 10:52am On Nov 06, 2009
schescale:

Hmmm
@whitesturd you are such a great councellor

Thanks. wink
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 10:58am On Nov 06, 2009
whitesturd:

i am not talkin about openess here.how many 21yr olds can even stand if front of their parents and say dey ve boyfriends?everything is done codedly now.i am jst advising the guy dt it wud truly hurt to see de person u luv,goin out wt another jst because u dnt ve the liver to tel her u do.and as cud be seen here,de babe also likes him too.age is not a barrier wen it comes to love.if its true luv sha.

Thats why the girl has not been able to accept him because she's from the kind of home i just described now, so the best thing to do is to be friends with her first.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by whitesturd(f): 11:14am On Nov 06, 2009
honeric01:

Thats why the girl has not been able to accept him because she's from the kind of home i just described now, so the best thing to do is to be friends with her first.

I agree with u
do u know the girl wen u said shes from the kind of home u jst described now? smiley
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 1:28pm On Nov 06, 2009
whitesturd:

I agree with u
do u know the girl wen u said shes from the kind of home u jst described now? smiley
  I arrived at my conclusion based on how the poster described her! wink
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by whitesturd(f): 1:37pm On Nov 06, 2009
honeric01:

I arrived at my conclusion based on how the poster described her! wink

Thumbs up.u must be a psychologist. cheesy grin
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 1:42pm On Nov 06, 2009
whitesturd:

Thumbs up.u must be a psychologist. cheesy grin
Almost correct cheesy
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Nobody: 9:26pm On Nov 07, 2009
honeric01:

Thats why the girl has not been able to accept him because she's from the kind of home i just described now, so the best thing to do is to be friends with her first.

@ honeric01. I am the poster. this girl i am talking about is my friend, but not my best friend for now.i would like to make her my best friend and my girl because she is the type of girl that i want in my life .though we only meet and talk in church and on phone, well, that is enough for now because going out for a date is not so good for now but i want her to be my best friend because i am always happy when she is around me.

To further describe the girl, she is disciplined. she has a good character, her mother is a sunday school teacher, her father and her sister is a counsellor. i dont know maybe her parent has counselled her about love and relationship.

considering the factors of her parent can she ever say yes
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Phemour: 9:36pm On Nov 07, 2009
tell ye pastor smiley
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by OAM4J: 10:17pm On Nov 07, 2009
I think you are really serious about her. Please don’t rush things, since you are already friends, build on that. I will advice you do the following:

1.  Send her another message and apologize for hurting her feeling with your previous message – This shows you are a gentleman.
2.  Show more concern to the things that matter more to her now, academics, career, spiritual life, future plans etc.
3.  Call her like 2-3 times a week and equally send her txt messages; let your conversations and your messages focus more on 2.
     Please don’t overdo it.
4.  In the process of 3 subtly share your own plans & aspirations with her, seek her opinion and advice, this will also allow you to know
     what she thinks  of you

If you maintain this cordiality, you will know when she is ready for serious relationship, and you will be uppermost in her consideration.

All the best.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Pweety4me(f): 4:07am On Nov 08, 2009
@Son of God u r 2 young menh!wait how old r u? undecided
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by OAM4J: 4:17am On Nov 08, 2009
Pweety4me:

@Son of God u r 2 young menh!wait how old r u? undecided

from his profile, he is 20 and the girl is 16. they both have time to grow up and mature. Just need some advices.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by Pweety4me(f): 5:24am On Nov 08, 2009
^^^Ok but d gurl is 2 young he should just be friends with her 4 now if she is ok with that and nothing more.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by honeric01(m): 7:43pm On Nov 08, 2009
aksat:

@ honeric01. I am the poster. this girl i am talking about is my friend, but not my best friend for now.i would like to make her my best friend and my girl because she is the type of girl that i want in my life .though we only meet and talk in church and on phone, well, that is enough for now because going out for a date is not so good for now but i want her to be my best friend because i am always happy when she is around me.

To further describe the girl, she is disciplined. she has a good character, her mother is a sunday school teacher, her father and her sister is a counsellor. i dont know maybe her parent has counselled her about love and relationship.

considering the factors of her parent can she ever say yes
That's why you have to make sure you get used to her first, make sure you are friends with her, get very used to her and it will surely work its way out.
her background is what's making her behave that way, so just get used to her first.
Re: I Love This Girl In My Church What Can I Do, Please Help Me. by SisiKill1: 7:57pm On Nov 08, 2009
The girl says don't ever send her that kinda message again. . . And you are still wondering if she loves you or not? Jeebus!

Okay, i know being born again means you are sorta in you own world. . . Which is totally cool but buddy, out here in the real world that means she wants you to stop sending her love messages coz she doesn't feel the same way and yeah it is possible that the message she supposedly sent to you. . . Wasn't meant for you.

16yrs old??!!

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