I haven’t seen a single saint in lifetime including me!

I have loved, lost, grieved and swayed and tried to get back the control of my life. I have been used, have used and tried recovering all the damage that has happened to me in past.

I wouldn’t really expect anyone to understand the pain that comes from being me and wouldn’t be able to describe exactly how I feel but one thing that keeps pounding in my mind is…

” Is lifetime remorse going to fill up for those fosses created by my actions in past?”

I wonder many problems are attracted from not knowing where your emotions are leading you and rest of them by adversities.

I might not be able to put the exactly story here because I thing it is now overshadowing my being, existence and chaining my feet at every step.

I have no one with me because if there was someone he would have stood by me not having to tell me that I committed mistakes but to make me feel comfortable and accompanied. That is what matters? What is love when it is done in those corridors of the houses in the world whose door never open to the one being admired? I have to accept that I am alone with myself, me and no one.

The person who claims to have me loved sits their crying over the past ignoring whatever happens to me. Love is…a comfortable, selfless silence that say…no matter what I am glad that we’re together and I am yours, feeling bad and remorsing would not help any of us but walking slowing towards our goals will.

And he never said it…he left me, confused and miserable probably caring about the world and values. What values…I could never understand and they’re the most destructive for me because they tore my world apart, shattered my dreams and part our ways. No value is bigger than Love!