Talk2Bella:
Too much are expected of women, we must clean, cook, give birth, change our names, be faithful, submissive, meek, diligent, steadfast, and make our homes a success.


From the day a woman is born these instructions are like a program installed in her brain, she’s been programmed to do these things without questions and abide by them, women give up so much to be in the marital race, they give up more than the men and one single thing a man should do to make a woman feel special, one thing he should do to show sign of commitment, one thing he should do to show he’s going to be her burden bearer for life, he feels too big to do it because he says he’s not a white man.


Do you know what differentiates a man from a boy? If you don’t know this, you’re still a boy it doesn’t matter how old you are, real men know what to do, real men don’t feel ashamed to do things, real men don’t say “what will my friends think of me when I do these things for her” real men are doers, real men are pace setters, real men make boys envious and want to be like them, he thinks and weighs his actions, he foresees and makes plans for the future, he knows going down on one kneel to propose to the woman he loves is a sign of commitment and not a macho contest, he knows this is a must.


I accompanied a friend to go get an engagement ring, he wanted to plan a surprise engagement party for his soon to be fiancée, while we were getting the rings he said to me “Bella I don’t think I’d be able to go down on one knee to propose, I am a wolf, I lead a pack, I can’t go down on one kneel to propose”. I felt like a sledge hammer had hit me on the head, I must have turned bright red at the moment because I kept saying “You’re not serious, she’s the queen of the pack, even a wolf bows to his queen, he kept blabbing how he didn’t think he will be able to do it because the pack would be there.


Do you want to know the symbolism of going down on one knee to propose? That’s submission, that’s protection, that’s acceptance, that’s seeking, you go down on one knee, look up to her and she looks down on you, she sees all your flaws and accepts you for who you are and not what you are, in that moment you kneel you have given her the impression that she comes first before anyone, your back is there to bear her burdens, your shoulder is there for her to rest on, your knee is there to support her, when she looks down on you with love and sincerity her prayers for you are accepted in heaven. Going down on one knee represents, honor, respect, surrender, humility, etc.


Real men know what I mean, real men know what I’m talking about, it’s another Saturday and you’re screaming women are evil, women are deceitful, women are cunning, women are this, women are that but your mates are getting married because they know the right thing to do, keep saying you can’t go down on one knee to propose and your future partner will keep passing you by.



Isabella Ibeji


http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/12/why-every-man-must-bend-kneel-to-propose.html

Bla bla bla

safarigirl:


was your mother a housewife? Do your sisters, if married, burden their husbands?

Maybe because I never grew up in a family where the man was the sole provider, I usually don't understand when you men say "we go out to work" or "we provide for her and the kids"

I want to know what kind of women you surround yourself with that are lazy slobs who sit around and wait for men to hand things to them, people with no brains whose sole contribution to humanity is cooking, cleaning and pushing out babies.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that the opinion a man forms of women is based on the women he surrounds himself with, so please, what kind of women do you men who see women as burdens surround yourself with?



PS: On the topic, dunno what the big deal is about going on one knee, after all, during the traditional marriage , in my place sha, dunno bout other Nigerians, the woman will still go in BOTH knees and bow her head to her husband as a sign of loyalty and servitude, so uncle, na bad thing make you just go on one knee?

Women have been kneeling to men for ages and ain't nobody bytching about it

the women i grew up around never knelt to any suitor and never expected or made a point of a man kneeling to them, they were women of high aptitude who saw beyond the ephemeral symbolisms that matters so much to the empty headed kim kardashian followers we call girls today.

Ifakiland:

What forking tradition?
Its guys like u dat make gals feel dey doing us a favour by saying yes....when d truth is we d one doing dem a favour.
We d one taking over her expenses,
We d one gonna be providing for her ass,
We d one dat gonna make sure she's satisfied.
And u expect me to kneel down Its like asing me to beg a teller at d bank to withdraw my money...

Then don't marry, ko sa koja be

You don't even know the meaning of disrespect.... there is a difference between someone saying your write up or point of view is silly and saying that you are silly.... learn the difference.

Talk2Bella:


You have never disrespected your wife but you come here to disrespect me by saying my write up is silly

Thanks

C stupid bullshit abeg! So if a man doesn't kneel 2 propose, u wldnt accept? So I hv 2 kneel 2 prove dt I possess all those aforementioned virtues? So because oda men r kneeling, I shld act lyk a brainless sheep & follow suit? If I choose 2, gud bt y d Bleep shld it b made mandatory? I blv only an immature woman who holds d notion dt marriage shld b a fairytale wld hold on 2 such balderdash. D same way dey nw compete among demselves 2 get d most expensive engagement rings so dey can flaunt it on Bella 9ja. I swear, let any woman try dt 1 wt me wey I get werey. I fit end dt relationship because I dnt wnt a petty, fallacious-thinking woman as a wife.

NubiLove:
You don't even know the meaning of disrespect.... there is a difference between someone saying your write up or point of view is silly and saying that you are silly.... learn the difference.

I know the difference thanks

LastProphet:


the women i grew up around never knelt to any suitor and never expected or made a point of a man kneeling to them, they were women of high aptitude who saw beyond the ephemeral symbolisms that matters so much to the empty headed kim kardashian followers we call girls today.

Gbam! Dude chop knuckle dere. Ur head is dere. 1 crate of orijin on me 4 u.

Talk2Bella, you are almost right. But do you know your real men can use that as your weakness? I prefer the "Selfless Guys." Well, BellaNaija I will update my version of your article but not on Nairaland.

PabloOmoEscobar:
Who noticed how Ogbonna Nwakwo didn't pop the 'will you marry me?' question before Laura jumped to say 'Yes'?

She dey fear say d dude go come 2 im ryt senses b4 im ask d ques finish.

gemale:

Gbam! Dude chop knuckle dere. Ur head is dere. 1 crate of orijin on me 4 u.

my bro i just dey shake my head for the level of stupidity flowing round among today's young girls o, they see something on facebook or E! channel and immediately conclude its right.

gemale:

She dey fear say d dude go come 2 im ryt senses b4 im ask d ques finish.

hahahaha she quickly grabbed it with a big yes

TrapHedges:
how am gonna propose to my wife ;
Jumps down from my Mercedes Benz g-class 2024 model, with a stoned face..
Enters my mantion, throws a diamond ring to my gf.. Ask her to put it on, we getting married in 2 weeks time. .. In Saudi Arabia tho

She can't say NO

My dream proposal is dt we r both sitting, I open my suitcase, bring out a spiral-bound copy of a prenuptial agreement I wld hv prepared wt a gud lawyer along wt d ring in its box, gv dem both 2 her & tell her 2 review d prenuptial agreement wt a lawyer & if she has any issues, get back 2 me so we can thrash out those unclear areas. If she finds d terms satisfactory, she shld sign & can start wearing d ring.

francisbiz:

Please OP how can one "bend a kneel"?
You know, I want to sit for S.S.C.E. next year ...

Waiter! Bring ds man any drink he wants. Dnt worry, I wld pay. Gud job! U catch op's gbagaun. I applaud ur vigilance.

Nonsense. In today's world the woman should kneel and propose.

QuietHammer:
Mehn fvck that shii. Toss the ring at her. If she's interested she'll catch it. Why would I kneel as if she's doing me a favor?

Toss wetin? As expensive as dt thing b, u wan toss am? Hw many women dey gud @ catching stuff? When last u c women dey toss & catch stuff unlyk we guys? Imagine if she no catch am & d thing lost? U gats go buy anoda 1.

10,000 Likes!

Ifakiland:

What forking tradition?
Its guys like u dat make gals feel dey doing us a favour by saying yes....when d truth is we d one doing dem a favour.
We d one taking over her expenses,
We d one gonna be providing for her ass,
We d one dat gonna make sure she's satisfied.
And u expect me to kneel down Its like asing me to beg a teller at d bank to withdraw my money...

Raine80:
There is no must in a proposal..he asks in any way he feels that makes the moment poignant. It might be watching tv, having breakfast or maybe you are far away in a distant land. He has thought about making you his wife there are no rules and regulations about this. Insisting on one way of proposing is for fairytales....it's the thought not the method that's matters here.

Sister e go beta 4 u. Instead make op dey tnk u, she dey busy dey encourage women 2 build castle on top air.

Talk2Bella:
Too much are expected of women, we must clean, cook, give birth, change our names, be faithful, submissive, meek, diligent, steadfast, and make our homes a success.


From the day a woman is born these instructions are like a program installed in her brain, she’s been programmed to do these things without questions and abide by them, women give up so much to be in the marital race, they give up more than the men and one single thing a man should do to make a woman feel special, one thing he should do to show sign of commitment, one thing he should do to show he’s going to be her burden bearer for life, he feels too big to do it because he says he’s not a white man.


Do you know what differentiates a man from a boy? If you don’t know this, you’re still a boy it doesn’t matter how old you are, real men know what to do, real men don’t feel ashamed to do things, real men don’t say “what will my friends think of me when I do these things for her” real men are doers, real men are pace setters, real men make boys envious and want to be like them, he thinks and weighs his actions, he foresees and makes plans for the future, he knows going down on one kneel to propose to the woman he loves is a sign of commitment and not a macho contest, he knows this is a must.


I accompanied a friend to go get an engagement ring, he wanted to plan a surprise engagement party for his soon to be fiancée, while we were getting the rings he said to me “Bella I don’t think I’d be able to go down on one knee to propose, I am a wolf, I lead a pack, I can’t go down on one kneel to propose”. I felt like a sledge hammer had hit me on the head, I must have turned bright red at the moment because I kept saying “You’re not serious, she’s the queen of the pack, even a wolf bows to his queen, he kept blabbing how he didn’t think he will be able to do it because the pack would be there.


Do you want to know the symbolism of going down on one knee to propose? That’s submission, that’s protection, that’s acceptance, that’s seeking, you go down on one knee, look up to her and she looks down on you, she sees all your flaws and accepts you for who you are and not what you are, in that moment you kneel you have given her the impression that she comes first before anyone, your back is there to bear her burdens, your shoulder is there for her to rest on, your knee is there to support her, when she looks down on you with love and sincerity her prayers for you are accepted in heaven. Going down on one knee represents, honor, respect, surrender, humility, etc.


Real men know what I mean, real men know what I’m talking about, it’s another Saturday and you’re screaming women are evil, women are deceitful, women are cunning, women are this, women are that but your mates are getting married because they know the right thing to do, keep saying you can’t go down on one knee to propose and your future partner will keep passing you by.



Isabella Ibeji


http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/12/why-every-man-must-bend-kneel-to-propose.html

/
You put a lot of unnecessary twists to a simple gesture.
A man goes down on his knee to beg a lady to marry him just the same way a man is expected to do the toasting.

Because the society has made it trendy (especially with all the public display of affection) to seek attention does not warrant opening a Psychology and Philosophy textbooks for it. Until the 2000s, who was doing the kneeling in public?

It is a simple gesture that has been abused just like anything else including pre-wedding pictures. Until a few years back, who was doing pre-wedding photo opps?

All these na travel-learn behaviours. If in doubt, ask why Nigerians dey do Thanksgiving sales and dey even do Halloween costumes join. Na too much American movies dey cause am. Everybody wan belong.

Go and ask your papa and uncles how dey take propose to their wives?
\

Truck load of gibberish mixed and spiced up with beautiful nonsense. If I choose to go on a knee to propose, it wouldn't be because of this nonsense you wrote. Sometimes, I really do wonder where you guys pull out all these nonsense from.

Talk2Bella:
Too much are expected of women, we must clean, cook, give birth, change our names, be faithful, submissive, meek, diligent, steadfast, and make our homes a success.


From the day a woman is born these instructions are like a program installed in her brain, she’s been programmed to do these things without questions and abide by them, women give up so much to be in the marital race, they give up more than the men and one single thing a man should do to make a woman feel special, one thing he should do to show sign of commitment, one thing he should do to show he’s going to be her burden bearer for life, he feels too big to do it because he says he’s not a white man.


Do you know what differentiates a man from a boy? If you don’t know this, you’re still a boy it doesn’t matter how old you are, real men know what to do, real men don’t feel ashamed to do things, real men don’t say “what will my friends think of me when I do these things for her” real men are doers, real men are pace setters, real men make boys envious and want to be like them, he thinks and weighs his actions, he foresees and makes plans for the future, he knows going down on one kneel to propose to the woman he loves is a sign of commitment and not a macho contest, he knows this is a must.


I accompanied a friend to go get an engagement ring, he wanted to plan a surprise engagement party for his soon to be fiancée, while we were getting the rings he said to me “Bella I don’t think I’d be able to go down on one knee to propose, I am a wolf, I lead a pack, I can’t go down on one kneel to propose”. I felt like a sledge hammer had hit me on the head, I must have turned bright red at the moment because I kept saying “You’re not serious, she’s the queen of the pack, even a wolf bows to his queen, he kept blabbing how he didn’t think he will be able to do it because the pack would be there.


Do you want to know the symbolism of going down on one knee to propose? That’s submission, that’s protection, that’s acceptance, that’s seeking, you go down on one knee, look up to her and she looks down on you, she sees all your flaws and accepts you for who you are and not what you are, in that moment you kneel you have given her the impression that she comes first before anyone, your back is there to bear her burdens, your shoulder is there for her to rest on, your knee is there to support her, when she looks down on you with love and sincerity her prayers for you are accepted in heaven. Going down on one knee represents, honor, respect, surrender, humility, etc.


Real men know what I mean, real men know what I’m talking about, it’s another Saturday and you’re screaming women are evil, women are deceitful, women are cunning, women are this, women are that but your mates are getting married because they know the right thing to do, keep saying you can’t go down on one knee to propose and your future partner will keep passing you by.



Isabella Ibeji


http://www.talk2bella.com/2016/12/why-every-man-must-bend-kneel-to-propose.html

Tell that to rapper gucci mane

Talk2Bella:


You have never disrespected your wife but you come here to disrespect me by saying my write up is silly

Thanks

Person tlk im mind (& IMO d truth), u tlk say im disrespect u. Ur post is nt only silly, it is superbly petty & smacks of abject immaturity. It is tantamount 2 chasing shadows & leaving matters of substance. Personally, I find all those gestures (kneeling 2 propose, opening door, pulling out her chair, making sure she sits b4 u) pretentious because in d long run, dey r nt sustainable. D fact is dt u r nt doing d dude a favour by dating/marrying him & vice versa. It's a mutual thing. So stop acting lyk ur $hit doesnt smell & focus on d main issues instead of complicating somtn dts already hard enuf.

JeffreyJamez:


Everyone did lol... Didn't you se the post by that editor that says he feels the engagement was forced and rehearsed?

CHAI!!! If na so women wahala b, Shey e no go beta 4 man 2 turn fada? It still neva late 4 me o & besides my mama go happy scatter.

Ifakiland:

What forking tradition?
Its guys like u dat make gals feel dey doing us a favour by saying yes....when d truth is we d one doing dem a favour.
We d one taking over her expenses,
We d one gonna be providing for her ass,
We d one dat gonna make sure she's satisfied.
And u expect me to kneel down Its like asing me to beg a teller at d bank to withdraw my money...

lol!
You've become a bit narcissistic over time but hey, whatever rocks your boat.

Wow...boyz are not smiling...boyz are vexing...some comments here are just hilarious...but true

REAL MAN....
ALL DIS GALS BE COINING WORDS IN A BID TO EMASCULATE MEN....

#NOTOKNEELING

Talk2Bella:



his comment really made me laugh, in this present day and age he thinks marrying a woman is actually doing her a favor

u neffa shi~shun~shin!

(Isaiah 4:1 KJV) And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
e go soon clear 4 ya aiz; my prayer be say make e neffa late 4 u b4 u soji!

bigcp:


May God Bless u n ur entire Generations 4 this....

Thank you for that

Although I'd have no problem kneeling, i do question why so much is invested in this standardised, common proposal method.

1. Someone had to have done it first, cannot be the only way to express all the qualities or feelings encompassed by this "gesture".

2. I am certain some women don't need or feel anyway about it. Billions of women do not have this programmed into them- It's a cultural paradigm...thanks Hollywood, and Disney for the fairytale expectations.

3. With high separation and divorce rates, it means sweet Bleep all. Indigenous people didn't kneel - probably had other courtship/copulating rituals though- and they seem to stay married longer. Western influence?

In the history of the human race, this is a fad/trend at best. It hasn't been happening for 5000 years, and I doubt it will last much longer. In 150 years, proposal will have taken a different format in all likelihood.

Im so indifferent to it (I.e. Whatever floats your boat lady; if that is THE contributing factor that makes you happier than you've ever been, then...; smh) however, it would be reassuring to know that not all women require, what seems patronising.

Most guys do it cos they feel they have/expected to, or because it's the societal norm...indicating a willingness to conform to an egotistical, possibly misogynist gesture. Hardly trailblazing.

Left to their own devices (if all courting couples were isolated/shielded from external factors) I doubt most men would come to the conclusion that they had to kneel, and most women would probably not even think of kneeling as a copulating requirement.

If something else was the norm/paradigm, we'd be all over that, unrepentantly.

Then, you have the thing about showing vulnerability once, maybe - as would be the case with casestudy alpha wolf, and then reverting to the norm.

Seems to me that, if gender roles were somewhat even keeled, this wouldn't seem like the monumental, role-reversing, gender-equalising, token that it seems.

Would a woman prefer a healthy guy who provided, protected, changed diapers and cooked 30-50% of meals, but didn't kneel?

See hyena mating rituals, preying mantis and more examples from more species.

Im sure there are women out there who do not need this gesture, to trigger chemical/hormonal reactions.

However, if it makes the person that makes me happier, happy...then I'd do that and more.

Why is this kneeling paining you people?
I've seen lots of proposal pictures, the men that knelt down, you romance sections guys are not in any way up to them.

It doesn't make them less men, it doesn't make you any better.
OP, it's not a must!

pocohantas:
Why is this kneeling paining you people?
I've seen lots of proposal pictures, the men that knelt down, you romance sections guys are not in any way up to them.

It doesn't make them less men, it doesn't make you any better.
OP, it's not a must!

If majority of people (with same beliefs/background/study group) do the same thing, it doesn't make it right. More often than not, it's wrong.

I agree ppl from certain cultural/sub-cultural backgrounds (in this case, nairaland as you have pointed out, and Naija at large) have certain limitations.

This arises from how we feel about/want for ourselves...it seems mostly ego/pride related for guys, and romance/equality based for women.

This is a reflection of society at large...gender roles and expectations.

If I jumped out of a plane with SO and upon approach to a beach...the words "marry me" not even "marry me?" were etched into the sand, with a table for two, or some other commemorative activity/event planned, I fully do not expect to be asked to propose again. Just because I wasn't kneeling.

Horses for courses, I guess.

some ladies aren't worth bending the knee for.....

Talk2Bella:



his comment really made me laugh, in this present day and age he thinks marrying a woman is actually doing her a favor

U were actually the person that made it seem like a woman agreeing to marry a man is doing him a favour. If u said it's good to kneel while proposing, it could have been different, but saying that a man "must" kneel while proposing makes me wonder whether the proposal is more important than the marriage itself or whether the man's kneeling guarantees marriage success. What we should be concerned about is it not whether the couple can live peacefully? What's then the need of this mandatory proposal ceremony if after the proposal and wedding, they still later divorce due to irreconcilable differences? My very good friend knelt to propose to his girl, who is also my friend in the presence of I and some of our other friends, but the whole thing never lasted beyond Introduction due to irreconcilable differences.
Second, are u married? If not, I hope u will make it a law to urself that u will never agree to marry any man who doesn't kneel to propose to u? Or advise ur loved one never to marry any man who doesn't kneel to propose to her?