@blesssedean, oga oooooooooo Hiv can be contacted through other things besides sex.
@ poster, why did u refuse the free lab test in the first place? hopefully the result fromt he free lab is wrong. You guys can be marries even if she is HIV positive u just need to see a counsellor to talk to u on how to prevent urself. chikena

I admire the poster's bravery for sticking by the woman he loves
I'll advise that you[b] desist from sex or at least any unprotected sex for now[/b]
Go to a reputable lab and repeat the tests for both of you and if she's still positive
she should get registered at a center where both of you can be counselled and she'll undergo other tests to determine her viral load and CD4 count
She may need to be placed on medication.
You'll be advised on intimacy and how to get pregnant without endangering your own health.
It is possible to have a healthy baby even with HIV but  she must be under a doctor's care to give the baby the necessary shots at birth to lessen the chances of baby being positive.
God bless.
It is possible to live a normal healthy life with HIV with close medical monitoring but please don't ever have sex with this woman without protection.

I have seen 2 cases of one partner being postive with HIV and the still go ahead to get married. HIV is no longer a death sentence, just seek good counselling and for having children your bet bet may be through IVF or thru assisted means

I thought everybody in nigeria had aids. Whats de big deal?

@me_alone Rethink your decision.May be you should go to the hospital and take a look at people suffering because of hiv and aids.you dont want to find your self (maybe ur children also)suffering later because of a decision you took. By the way, why was your fiancee in such a haste to snatch your own test result?

Let her go for another HIV test and if it comes out to be positive, then she most have cheated on you.all u need to do since u love her so much is to sit her down and force her to tell u the truth.Because she must be hiding somethings from you.

@Poster, Is it HIV, you are using to play or should I say joke around with as Love!

if you think its a Good decision,follow your heart,but dont forget to read about the problems and hardship of people living with HIV b4 you jump into this

The first question everybody needs to ask before answering is this: 'What if it were me?'.

The free lab test may be wrong, but if it is true and you still love her then prayer can solve it.

go on, continue to love him very very very well. marry him, no problems.

[size=13pt]The first time you made good advice. . . . [/size]

May kelly:

go on, continue to love him very very very well. marry him, no problems.

Man if d report is positive again believe she may not get married to you. Wishing u al d best of luck.

As much as i dont believe your story i wish you well,

Situation reversed would she do same?
Are you really ready to risk your future?

Son! U had berra seek advice and counselling from your Ma and professionals.

follow your heart and trust in God

@poster
true love they say stands the test of time

you know how much she means to you and how much happiness she would bring to you as a wife,i will advice you go ahead with the marriage.
there are so many people living with Hiv and are doing fine,if both of you have had sex in the past then be sure you will definately be confirmed positive later.The best you can do now is re examine all that has happened b/w the both of you,i mean sexually and know if you have a chance of contacting it.

The big question here is
is she worth the sacrifice?
will i be happy and fulfilled

God is your strength

@me_alone,

It is good to pray to God at this time of your uncertainty. However, you must be wise.

My brother, faith without work is dead. I admire your faith in God but your words suggest that you have not applied enough work (action) to the situation.

As a starter, the free test lab is useless. Many people in that church are being misdiagnosed. You and your fiancee should go to another reputable lab for the same test. As you are in Nigeria, if you can afford it, I will suggest two reputable labs for the same test to get a reasonable professional opinion of the HIV status.

When you are satisfied that both test are negative for both of you, you can then have a rest and get prepared for your wedding as soon as possible.

I must warn you, May 2010 for your wedding is a long time Oh!

I am a bit curious if this woman you want to marry was negative two ago, then how did she catch it.

Either by flirting around or by blood transfusion.

Have you asked her how she caught it and if you want to marry then good luck.

But from your story, things do not add up.

HIV do not just jump on people like that.

I believe your story brother.
My advice is that you should :
1. avoid kissing her whenever you have wound in your mouth to prevent easy transmission
2. Avoid fingering when you have cut on your hand
3. Avoid sex when u have cut on your private part
4. If your organ is extra big, avoid having wound while having sex
5. Trim the private part hair to the minimum to avoid cut

The basis of my advise is that Men rarely pick HIV virus through the passage of the penis (please dont get me wrong, I have not said it is absolutely impossible, but its not a usual case). This is the reason why we have a lot of couples where the wife is +ve and the husband -ve.

But whatevaer you do (poster) , you are on your own o, Good luck

@ poster you did not do what you are supposed to do first. i mean you shouldn't have come to the forum without your fiancee running another test in a good hospital. please close this topic and let your woman run another test. and believe you me she HIV negative. forget about the test she ran in the church. when i was in camp for NYSC orientation in 2005, they ran test on for my genotype. the result was AS. later i decided to have another test. lo and behold it was AA which is my correct genotype. please she is negative.

@poster
dude if thats what u really want,then go for it.discordant status between couples, is pretty common n there r ways in which u can live a fufilling life n av an enjoyable relationship without also picking up the infection.
av read some people quick to jump at the assumption dat for her to be positive,she must av cheated on u.FYI,there r other ways to get exposed n subsequently infected.
like some av raised,and i whole heartedly agree, u must think it through thoroughly n b prepared for the emotional n sumtimes physical strain it can put on u.
Seek professional advise on your options with regards to raising a family so u can be adequately informed.
BEING HIV POSITIVE IS NO LONGER A DEATH SENTENCE.

do love actually exist? People can deceive themself that love exist because they are young such as a black man that went an marry a white Lady in the name of LOVE at old age the man will be full of regret then he understand that he has lost even the lineage and children even her wife all because of love. I warn you people, there is nothing LOVE, Which previous generation understand but this modern generation fail to understand IE why parent,elder and relation select wife for their young ones.
Today their is prove that show that marriage with courtship is prone to divorce than marriage without courtship .Ask God to show you who you will marry.

Obinna31:

do love actually exist? People can deceive themself that love exist because they are young such as a black man that went an marry a white Lady in the name of LOVE at old age the man will be full of regret then he understand that he has lost even the lineage and children even her wife all because of love. I warn you people, there is nothing LOVE, Which previous generation understand but this modern generation fail to understand IE why parent,elder and relation select wife for their young ones.
Today their is prove that show that marriage with courtship is prone to divorce than marriage without courtship .Ask God to show you who you will marry.

OP!

Do we even trust all these tests? In America, a lady was made to be taking drugs to stay alive and keep down the fake monster while she had nothing like HIV, now she gonna sue to recover the time, humiliation, depression and self-destruction

Re: My Fiancee Is Hiv Positive, I Love Her And Still Want To Go On With The Marriage
« #11 on: November 17, 2009, 01:16 PM »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear you all, and i thank you all for lovely advise.

I just do not want to get confused yet or draw up a conclusion.

I keep praying her next test result turns out NEGATIVE, then we shall go back to the
medical Consultant from the Church to re -run the test with them again.

To try the expert professionalism they claim.

Infidelity is out of the question, this am very sure. She is very true to me.

And thought of sex frightens her a lot, beside she is just 24 yrs old.

She needs me now more than anything. Just can not let her go.

Am truly and deeply worried.


she must have gotten it from the barbing salon then!

do not play with fire! abeg o!

well you've said it, its your life. you need to give good tot to what you're about to get into. i don't think its unheard of that a person goes ahead to marry someone who is hiv positive. i believe however that you have to give adequate tot to what you are about to do. i think you should give tot to whether or not you would like to have kids in the future and also get medical advice on how this could be possible without the kids getting infected if you decide that you would like to have kids. before you go on to make your final decision, get medical advice on what it takes to live with an hiv positive person and what being hiv positive would also mean to you; especially how you can still go on to live a healthy and productive life while being hiv positive.

Stop fooling yourself, if her test proves negative the second time then she has PLAYED YOU for a mugu