5minsmadness:
There is something wrong with the foundation somewhere.

Rarely do you find men that want only one child up to the point of insisting the wife ties her tubes.

Unless he didn't want the wife to begin with.

She quickly had the second, and then agreed to tie her tubes. Means he was adamant.

Has always been quarrelsome but now has taken it a step further by asking for a divorce.

All through this the wife has no issues, not even when she saw the kid on his phone. She sounds like she is desperate to keep him. Is it possible she did something desperate to marry him?

I think the man was in love with someone else. For whatever reason he didnt marry her but married your friend instead. Probably planned on leaving the marriage early but life happened and two boys came out from the undesired woman. Whatever barrier preventing him from marrying the first woman is now gone ans he is now ready to continue life with the other woman. The baby girl may not be his, but is most likey the child of the other woman.

What she should do to keep him?

Feminists wont like this, but:

She should do her best to please him. Serve him his food on time, keep a cheerful face around the house. Have sex with him when he wants but she must not be the one to initiate the sex. Let there be no situation where he has the opportunity to reject her sexual advances. But when he asks for it, let her be a sexual goddess in bed. There is a reason for that.
Let him not find a fault in her that will give him the excuse to leave, because that is essentially what he is looking for. That man will eventually leave the house, even if for a short while. Let it be thay when he leaves he will have reason to miss her. This is what will bring him back to her and not forcing him to stay.

Then of course she should pray. There is nothing God cannot do. In fact, if possible, she should convince him to pray with her every night. It will remove the inherent hatred and speak to his conscience.

All the best.

teemy:
let her give him the delilah treatment; the one that made bro samson spill his beans. the truth would come out. she needs to keep off conflict and stop claiming 'i am the wife' title. let him not feel chained. let her be mentally prepared in case if.

MBush:
mind your business!!
SMH... you have carried your amebo to another level...

gazilion:
Mind Your Business But Pray For Them In Your Closet!!

Pidgin2:


Thank you, I will pass your advice across but it seems he hasn't touched her for many months now(according to her sister)

5minsmadness:


Then its possible he has already rejected her sexual advances if she is the one complaining about not being touched. Its not looking good at all.

She should wear sexy (but not too obviously sexy) stuff around the house but at the same time appear non-chalant/totally uninterested about it.

Hope she's not always on his neck for attention. She should find ways of making herself happy, let that happiness reflect around the house. Find ways to avoid the frequent quarrels. Its tough but doable.

baby124:
The lady married a man who did not want to marry her at all. The fact is, she either move on and pray the man changes his mind or stay and endure it. I don't think any human being is worth it enough to put another in constant torment and pain. Never make another human being that important in your life. I do not believe in manipulating the man to make him stay. His heart is somewhere else. Let her not push him to killing her to finally be able to be with whom he wants to be with. At some point one has to start thinking about what is best for them for sanity sake. Personally I will never be some where I am not wanted or respected. This life is hard enough.

eyinjuege:
Someone adviced she should be giving him food regularly, and giving all sorts of sex styles.
Funny
As if the WIFE outside doesn't have a PhD in catering, and isn't a Professor of "sexology".
The wife at home is still a learner if na that one.
Most responsible men and women in marriage stay faithful not because their spouses are the best or even anything to write home about, but rather because they have INTEGRITY, and take their vows to heart.
There are some people you can never do business transactions with, and so also is marriage.
Anyway, you cannot force some birds into captivity. They will die in it.
A man loves a woman simply because he just loves her. The story of Prince Charles, Diana, Camilla comes to mind.
If he wants a divorce, let her grant him one, and move on with her life.
I hope she has a source of livelihood?
She should dress well for herself, exercise for the health benefits and the feel good endorphins released, she should make herself happy. Go out and try new things, if she has money, let her travel. Let her start dating again.
Life will definitely go on. It won't stop because of her broken marriage
If life hands you lemons, make lemonade out of it.

Pidgin2:

I don't think she is doing this

Pidgin2:


Don't turn a blind eye when you might be in a position to do something

5minsmadness:
There is something wrong with the foundation somewhere.

Rarely do you find men that want only one child up to the point of insisting the wife ties her tubes.

Unless he didn't want the wife to begin with.

She quickly had the second, and then agreed to tie her tubes. Means he was adamant.

Has always been quarrelsome but now has taken it a step further by asking for a divorce.

All through this the wife has no issues, not even when she saw the kid on his phone. She sounds like she is desperate to keep him. Is it possible she did something desperate to marry him?

I think the man was in love with someone else. For whatever reason he didnt marry her but married your friend instead. Probably planned on leaving the marriage early but life happened and two boys came out from the undesired woman. Whatever barrier preventing him from marrying the first woman is now gone ans he is now ready to continue life with the other woman. The baby girl may not be his, but is most likey the child of the other woman.

What she should do to keep him?

Feminists wont like this, but:

She should do her best to please him. Serve him his food on time, keep a cheerful face around the house. Have sex with him when he wants but she must not be the one to initiate the sex. Let there be no situation where he has the opportunity to reject her sexual advances. But when he asks for it, let her be a sexual goddess in bed. There is a reason for that.
Let him not find a fault in her that will give him the excuse to leave, because that is essentially what he is looking for. That man will eventually leave the house, even if for a short while. Let it be thay when he leaves he will have reason to miss her. This is what will bring him back to her and not forcing him to stay.

Then of course she should pray. There is nothing God cannot do. In fact, if possible, she should convince him to pray with her every night. It will remove the inherent hatred and speak to his conscience.

All the best.

bukatyne:


I am trying hard to wonder how feminism or lack of correlates with your post.

I guess you just like the sensationalism and want to spark up the thread.

SMH

@OP:

Let her give him a divorce if that's what he wants.

A woman who tied her womb after 2 boys in 2009 is a woman who has tried everything to please her husband.

If he has insisted on leaving, he will still leave with her postponing the evil day with her acrobatics.

Jahblessme:
red pant wearers in d house

5minsmadness:


This woman Ha'pum aka biko.
You no dey tire for quarrel?
You no fit read the post waka pass?

If you read the opening post you will see where the Op clearly stated she was looking for advice to save the marriage. We all know feminists (not you cos you dont qualify as a feminist) hate any advice that has to do with the woman appearing subservient to the man. Your announcing that you are "trying hard" to find a correlation between feminism and my post is you trying to spark up the thread, not me.

Already you have given the usual answer, "give him the divorce", we know, we know, but in this case she is looking for something to salvage their marriage. How's about you respect that decision ([b]Her decision) for a change?[/b]

Abeg leave my matter if you don't want to spark up the thread. Merry Xmas.

PaperLace:
The way some people 'prescribe' sex these days ehn, you'll think it's panadol.

Isn't lovemaking an act of bonding; done with love and outta love?

He isn't under any spell, why is it only men this spell dey catch? 'cos they don't stay in one place, they always use their 2left legs and waka to the spell.
Dude doesn't love the woman. If someone keeps saying something, look into it_ that's his/her heart desire.

She can only get him back if he wants to be gotten back, I don't think there is anything she'll do now that the other woman ain't doing. She can only try...hope for the best while preparing for the worst.

Some women are suffering, in another life_ I will come as a water dispenser.

bukatyne:


Look who is asking if I am not tired of quarrel

Have I 'quarrelled' with you?

Or have others not given advise without mentioning feminism?

A man said he no longer wants a marriage. ... not his wife is cheating; not his wife is disrespectful; not the wife is not good in bed, not the wife is dirty, lazy, etc. and you think se.x has magic to make him change his mind.

There is a difference between a man who wants his wife to change (valid or not) and a man who doesn't want his wife/marriage anymore....

Have you heard a Nigerian man tell his wife to tie her tubes after one child?

Oga qualifier of feminists, I am sure the part of your post I highlighted doesn't even make sense to you.

And if you missed it, the OP is a concerned neighbor & not the wife in question.

Merry Christmas to you too.

baby124:
The lady married a man who did not want to marry her at all. The fact is, she either move on and pray the man changes his mind or stay and endure it. I don't think any human being is worth it enough to put another in constant torment and pain. Never make another human being that important in your life. I do not believe in manipulating the man to make him stay. His heart is somewhere else. Let her not push him to killing her to finally be able to be with whom he wants to be with. At some point one has to start thinking about what is best for them for sanity sake. Personally I will never be some where I am not wanted or respected. This life is hard enough.