1bkaye:
If she wants

lol

Amelian:




Do u think that's all marriage is all about?

Sucking of pusssyy and fucvking??

That's all?

Where did I mention marriage in that post?

dinachi:

Where did I mention marriage in that post?

She is married dumbo

She needs a home filled with love and care.. Not just sucking and fucvking.. Smhhh.

1bkaye:
File for a divorce and move on sis

I honestly don't know what's she's waiting for. I don't understand why some women like to be abused.

banttieman:


I honestly don't know what's she's waiting for. I don't understand why some women like to be abused.

She is scared of the unknown.. That's why

But in this life? To be happy one must grow some balls..
Orelse the wind will blow one wherever it wants.

Amelian:



She is married dumbo

She needs a home filled with love and care.. Not just sucking and fucvking.. Smhhh.

Sucking n fucking? You are more terrible than I thought! So you Bleep them too with you rubber Love Machine? You are horrible!

dinachi:

Sucking n fucking? You are more terrible than I thought! So you Bleep them too with you rubber Love Machine? You are horrible!

Lol I know your type
Thank you.

prestigiouslady:

I'm a Catholic and I have my reservations about divorce except of course when abuse set in

I know these r trying times,
dont know why u let this linger for two years.
I was hurt.. I literally built my world around him so I felt let down and I just wanted to be alone that's why it took this long..

I'm not doing this cos I'm lonely..no..not at all.
hmmm...

are you saying I should give it a trial? to go see things for myself?? even when his body language says he doesn't want me around

I feel he's trying to tie me down cos he's indecisive at the moment.

I'll surely think about this..

I took an oath in the presence of God and that of man to be faithful to my spouse so I take my vows serious, hence why I've been able to cope without the "sweet apple".

I'll think it over.
Thank you.


Thank you

How serious are u with church activities? Does your parish priest know you? Is he aware?. Hope u know d church cannot divorce u or acknowledge any form of civil divorce? Hope u know u wouldn't be given communion if u choose to go ahead with civil divorce? And u can not remarry except ur partner is dead?. Abuse in marriages isn't rocket science when it comes to our setting. I will blame u for packing ur load based on ur parents advice who certainly are still together to come back and sit at home with them. St. Peter in his second letter said “Do not give d devil any opportunity, stand up to him strong in faith" but u chose to run away at the most trying moment. I bet ur parents aren't aware u cry urself to sleep cos they are enjoying their own marriage. The book of wisdom tells us that a wise woman builds her home with her hands and d foolish destroys it also with the same hands, many marriages crumble cos most women do not see d wisdom in these words which I guess u read by urself on d altar on ur wedding day. Any marriage that has survived d test of time its always cos of the woman. All being said, learn from ur mistakes and make things work, divorce is never an option.

prestigiouslady:


My own family is indifferent, they respect my decision, though my mum is hell bent on me not going back there, cos of the way he treated me and he really humiliated them by sending me back home

His family are wishing we would resolve our issues, though his mum has not uttered a word all through, she has not even checked on me in two years, she has not even checked on her grandchild..

That's bad... @Your mother-in-law.

Op do the needful and be happy.

It might take a while to bounce back but at the end u are free and at peace.

oshdam2015:
Your husband loves you but couldn't help his negative attitude. I think living separately could help you both. Some people tend to know the true value of people and treat them well when they don't get to see them often. Living separately while married could work. You two would just arrange to see and have nice time together probably once in a week or two.

This is only if he's ready to make it work too.

He's not ready to make it work...

Amelian:



She is scared of the unknown.. That's why

But in this life? To be happy one must grow some balls..
Orelse the wind will blow one wherever it wants.

What unknown? Well she might be confused and the ugly thing is time is not on her side anymore. It's better to find happiness than wait for one that will still bring back sorrow someday.

greenpasture:


Be advised that there are two grounds of divorce under Nigerian law- adultery which needs to be proven + a 2 year continuous separation and abandonment + 3 year continuous separation. Staying together for one night restarts the clock. Divorce is not an easy choice as some would have you believe. I went through it and it is like pulling a tooth without anesthetic. The pain isn't so much due to missing the other person but more due a feeling of failure and the time wasted. Then there are the questions your child will ask and the inevitable social and emotional difficulties you face as they graduate, get married etc.

If you are a Christian, I would say you really need to be sure and understandably you will tend towards caution but in this case not making a decision is actually taking a decision. Be aware. Find out what God's word actually says yourself. And I stress [/b]yourself[b]

Do NOT get involved with anyone. Do yourself and them a favour. It will only lead to tears. Emotionally you will grow out of anyone you meet right now. Buy yourself something nice, decorate your room, learn a new skill and take care of your child.

I would NEVER ask you to divorce your husband but understand that it is not the one that files the papers that initiated the divorce but the one who broke the covenant and who refuses to repent or rethink. The one who hardens their neck.

I am very sorry you find yourself in this situation. Will be praying for you - for illumination, direction and above all peace.

Ohh, this is just good! Truly insightful.

When we realise that marriage is a covenant not a contract,when we realise that marriage is for better for worse,when we realise that marriage is not full of roses,but thorns as well.when we realise that marriage is nt about love alone but understanding nd edurance.then the idea of divorce won't be cropping up @ any slightest issue.u knw we have been brainwashed by d white who takes marriage as contract.i guess u dated ur man bfor saying I do,so why didn't u spot dos character of his that u can't tolerate,try nd adjust him nd if he fails,u walk out,for u to accept his proposal means u see him as an ideal man in ur life.when u get married because ur mate are getting married,when u get married for material gain,when u get married out of pressure.this is always d result.a bird @ hand is worth more than 100 in d bush,d devil u knw they say is better than d angel u dont.it takes perseverance to be in a marriage.do u think ur mum nd dad don't quarell or even fight but the understand d concept of covenant that's why not even fight or quarell can separate them.do u ever think of ur babe's future?d one u gave birth for ur guy,if u marry another man,will d new man nd ur kids treat her or him equally without fightings?if u decide to return him or her to d dad who happens to marry another woman,hw do u tink ur babe will be treated there knowing fully well that d wife of ur supposed ex husband won't treat ur babe as equal as her biological kids,then u see?u have somehw created a problem for the kids nd ur self cos he or she won't forgive u when he or she sees his siblings @both end,do better than him or her in future.even u,the man who is officially divorced dat wants to settle down with u must have had kids with the white lady which makes dose kids d senior of ur unborn kids in terms of inheritance.where will be the position of ur babe.think well bfor taking a decision u won't forgive urself.say no to divorce.nothing good comes easily,it takes pain to achieve perfection.as a man ages,his power reduces nd u take charge when the kids grow.so u have to take d pain nw.wish dis little advice of mine can go a long way in ur decision making,if it does don't forget to thank me later.cheers!!!!

prestigiouslady:


My own family is indifferent, they respect my decision, though my mum is hell bent on me not going back there, cos of the way he treated me and he really humiliated them by sending me back home

His family are wishing we would resolve our issues, though his mum has not uttered a word all through, she has not even checked on me in two years, she has not even checked on her grandchild..

so what other proof that you are not welcomed there do you need?the man and his mother are in alignment , for your own sanity and health stay off that toxic marriage, like others have said, you seem to be the only one willing to put up with his shitty attitude hence the reason he came back, get legally separated first before talking about another relationship, this life is too short, you have done your best by waiting for him that long, you can't hold yourself responsible for his bad attitude, enough of listening to what people will say or are saying, a man who can disrespect you and your parents by sending you packing is not worth all this trouble, I can assure you,that going back to him will not bring you happiness, cos from what you have said so far,I see no changes in him

Apina:

How serious are u with church activities? Does your parish priest know you? Is he aware?. Hope u know d church cannot divorce u or acknowledge any form of civil divorce? Hope u know u wouldn't be given communion if u choose to go ahead with civil divorce? And u can not remarry except ur partner is dead?. Abuse in marriages isn't rocket science when it comes to our setting. I will blame u for packing ur load based on ur parents advice who certainly are still together to come back and sit at home with them. St. Peter in his second letter said “Do not give d devil any opportunity, stand up to him strong in faith" but u chose to run away at the most trying moment. I bet ur parents aren't aware u cry urself to sleep cos they are enjoying their own marriage. The book of wisdom tells us that a wise woman builds her home with her hands and d foolish destroys it also with the same hands, many marriages crumble cos most women do not see d wisdom in these words which I guess u read by urself on d altar on ur wedding day. Any marriage that has survived d test of time its always cos of the woman. All being said, learn from ur mistakes and make things work, divorce is never an option.

My parent told me to come back home but I insisted he will have to send me out himself that I wouldn't give up on my marriage so easily..
But at the end, he had to invite the police to tell me to leave, when asked what I did, he said nothing, he just needed a "break"
Did you wife kept extra marital affairs, he said no
Then the DPO told me to go to my people, to avoid stories that touch the heart.

And ever since I got back, my parents were still supporting him that he'll come around, until they realised that might not be anytime soon.

I've tried all I can to make things work but he keeps frustrating my efforts.

banttieman:


What unknown? Well she might be confused and the ugly thing is time is not on her side anymore. It's better to find happiness than wait for one that will still bring back sorrow someday.

Unknown as in? Will another man marry her and care for her baby like she does?
Will her ex husband not come back to torment Her new marriage if she succeed in marrying another because of his child?
What kind of in-laws will she face in another marriage..
And how she wish she is really financially Independent to make some fast decisions.
Those are certain fears that plagues minds of some married women who is tied to a terrible man as a husband

Amelian:



Unknown as in? Will another man marry her and care for her baby like she does?
Will her ex husband not come back to torment Her new marriage if she succeed in marrying another because of his child?
What kind of in-laws will she face in another marriage..
And how she wish she is really financially Independent to make some fast decisions.
Those are certain fears that plagues minds of some married women who is tied to a terrible man as a husband

In my opinion, she needs time. Not jump into another relationship. Time heals you know. She must be strong again for her child. There are countless single moms everywhere and they are all not devastated at not having a man in their lives. There's time for everything

banttieman:


In my opinion, she needs time. Not jump into another relationship. Time heals you know. She must be strong again for her child. There are countless single moms everywhere and they are all not devastated at not having a man in their lives. There's time for everything

Sighs.. Yeah time heals..

She needs time to cool off and pick up the pieces after the divorce .
It's well.

prestigiouslady:



My parent told me to come back home but I insisted he will have to send me out himself that I wouldn't give up on my marriage so easily..
But at the end, he had to invite the police to tell me to leave, when asked what I did, he said nothing, he just needed a "break"
Did you wife kept extra marital affairs, he said no
Then the DPO told me to go to my people, to avoid stories that touch the heart.

And ever since I got back, my parents were still supporting him that he'll come around, until they realised that might not be anytime soon.

I've tried all I can to make things work but he keeps frustrating my efforts.

He's tired.

Let him go. He has booted you, someone better will catch you.

just sue for a divorce pure and simple, forget what people will say. but only do this if you are certain you no longer love your husband, if you still love him then you should keep trying to make it work.
#justsaying

@Prestigiouslady

Firstly, I sympathise with you on this unfortunate state that you find yourself in. I believe that you will come out stronger and happier.

Speaking from the male point of view, I think your husband is yet to understand his bearing and he is driven by his ego. He loves you, he wants you but he is stopped due to inferiority complex and fear of your perceived dominance over his life- No thanks to his family background.

My candid advice to you is to allow him the break that he demanded and focus on the kids. You should also find time to visit him with or without his consent but DON'T ask him when you are to move in.

Also, kill the thought of the other man, it will do you no good. Not forgetting to do some introspection and see how things can be corrected when you both are back together.

If i may ask, does he have any sane friend that he listens to? Does he have siblings he listens to? You may exploit that too.

Please, DO NOT heed the advice of some ladies here that always shout "DIVORCE" simply because they are either unfortunate to get a husband despite their advanced age or are in a terrible relationship/marriage due to their misguided choices.

As a Christian, you have the responsibility to build your home with your husband as the leader of the joint team, that he isn't keeping his side of the bargain doesn't mean he won't.

Most importantly, pray to God for lead and guide. He is the only guide and helper.

Don't forget to seek advice of matured Christian ladies (not frustrated singles).

May God Help You and your family.

Amelian:




Sighs.. Yeah time heals..

She needs time to cool off and pick up the pieces after the divorce .
It's well.

Why are some of you quick to scream divorce? Are you married? Are you a divorcée?

banttieman:


In my opinion, she needs time. Not jump into another relationship. Time heals you know. She must be strong again for her child. There are countless single moms everywhere and they are all not devastated at not having a man in their lives. There's time for everything

Bro, God bless you

Very sorry for the abuse, especially physical abuse. My advice is that you should involve your pastor if you are a Christian and both of you should attend both church and general counseling meetings.
Is lack of wisdom that makes a man to physically abuse his wife and at the same time women cause it when they can not hold their mouths. These issues will addressed by counselor. Do not give in to the new guy, believe me he just want to use you. If he can not keep his first love, he can not keep you , except he married the white lady because of immigration papers.

WHOcarex:
Babe, you should be singing hallelujah that you are free.

At 22, you are still young self.

Now open ya eye before you enter another one.

You signature even says it all.

prestigiouslady:


Its never about sex.
I'm lonely... that feeling of having a family, a home and now everything is just blank...my daughter is currently with my mum, I'm in my a different place..always having him as a bff, a confidant and now I can't even talk to him, it hurts...

Yeah... Then against all odds go back to him

Only God can touch the heart of a man.
Pray for your family, Take care of your child.
God is in control my sister.
Read your bible, pray everyday(*3)
If you want to grow.

TonyeBarcanista:
Why are some of you quick to scream divorce? Are you married? Are you a divorcée?

Mind u ,am not the only one offering divorce as a solution.
Read all her replies and provide your own solution to her.. It's that simple. It's not hard.
What concern of yours If am married or divorced?
Is this topic about me or the op's?
Proffer your own solution to her. She waiting.

@Tonyebarcanista
All his friends have spoken to him and he keeps on repeating the same thing that he's not fighting me and he will call me back when he's ready..
I just wonder what he thinks of me...

I'm giving his break but I'm human, its beginning to tell on me...it's becoming tempting.

I'm a Christian and that's why I'm still holding on cos I respect my oaths and I believe my vows are sacred... I pray for him everyday, never has a day gone by without me praying for him.