Gone are the days!
"Ibon ni awon ojoo ni"

those days when a matured lady possibly 30yrs of age will be getting married instead of being happy she will be crying bcs she s leaving her family members behind. and still give birth to the number of babies she want sef. those days are gone

femi4:
Those days when your grammar could get you any girl

Yeah. Exactly!

I Doff my halt for the then Professors of Love... Kudos! What a morphologist.

timmycris:
too long to read

Ur definitely among a new school child. thats y reading hv become a problem to ur Generation. I can bet my next Salary that u cannot read a Newspaper. So, how do u guys expect to b grammatically Improved, & able to speak what u can write?

I pity dis generation of smileys, living fake life on social media.

@Op, the writer of the letter then was very intelligent. Mine was to just tear any page from one of my uncle's notebooks with something written on it and enveloped same and then sent to the girl. I nerve care to know what was written on the paper. All I wanted was just to send anything that look like letter to my crush. Mind you, then I cud not read neither my crush. I laugh whenever I remember those days.

I still hold the record!

Was a RL consultant with a fee attached.
success rate: over 90%!

the worse experience was wen after constructing the letter for a client, he gave it to a junior to go deliver. on getting to the gurl's class, there was a teacher in the class and the dunce didnt deem it fit to turn back!

"Sir, i came to see Senior....." n he was let in but the gut with which the junior expressed himself, told the teacher there must be sometin up.

so it was, after delivering the missile, he left. Only for the teacher to notice and asked her to bring the note she just received.

after much resistance from her side, and the teacher threatening to punish her, she gave in! and guess what the teacher did?

he read the Letter out Loud in front of the Class! oh high heavens. she was stoned......

i cant tell it all

Bulala

HARDDON:
I still hold the record!

Was a RL consultant with a fee attached.
success rate: over 90%!

the worse experience was wen after constructing the letter for a client, he gave it to a junior to go deliver. on getting to the gurl's class, there was a teacher in the class and the dunce didnt deem it fit to turn back!

"Sir, i came to see Senior....." n he was let in but the gut with which the junior expressed himself, told the teacher there must be sometin up.

so it was, after delivering the missile, he left. Only for the teacher to notice and asked her to bring the note she just received.

after much resistance from her side, and the teacher threatening to punish her, she gave in! and guess what the teacher did?

he read the Letter out Loud in front of the Class! oh high heavens. she was stoned......

i cant tell it all

So you guys collaborated to embarrass an innocent girl... Issokay

Kaiiiii!! I almost finish de water in my eyes with laugh o! I can remember how we had to seek our friends to help us finish the grammar just to be sure it was perfect!! Kai!! OP thank you for this reminder...I'm going to show it to my wife and my colleagues!!

Emma003:
... High School,
P. O. BOX ...
....... ..........
8TH JUNE, 1972
.
Dear Titi,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also palambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as fantabulous.

I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only u and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exhalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. Let my appellation be scribbled across your heart, with indelible ink. If any boy tries to ask for your companionship, tell him that u are leased and caveated.

I think I have to pen off here, because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis polymerization. But before I evaporate, I like to revitalize your memory with those encapsulating lyrics which proclaim that catarrh is my butter, your piss is my mimbo, the world's greatest lover is me.
Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you because you are too sweet for them. Goodbye for now.
Your slave in love, your pillow, your cushion.
Segun.

can we meet under the mango tree beside mama nkiru house by 5pm?

Tastemoney:
Great

My only problem with this letter is the fact that d OP ended the letter With my Name 'segun'

... I still write Love letters.

wHyyyyyyyyyY:
previous world?

early 80's

These days when your girlfriend go send you wattsapp chat all will be in short hand. Even those wey study shorthand for secretarial college no fit break down the message.

discman2k2:


Ur definitely among a new school child. thats y reading hv become a problem to ur Generation. I can bet my next Salary that u cannot read a Newspaper. So, how do u guys expect to b grammatically Improved, & able to speak what u can write?

I pity dis generation of smileys, living fake life on social media.

this quote is even long to read bro!

:Ddraw the shape of love with arrow passing through it

even in the said new era, I would used this letter and win the heart of a beautiful girl.lol

I have some love letter and cards dating back to 2003.....about 20 in number......i am tempted to serialized them here or on a blog........ Still not decided yet

Emma003:
... High School,
P. O. BOX ...
....... ..........
8TH JUNE, 1972
.
Dear Titi,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also palambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as fantabulous.

I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only u and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exhalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. Let my appellation be scribbled across your heart, with indelible ink. If any boy tries to ask for your companionship, tell him that u are leased and caveated.

I think I have to pen off here, because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis polymerization. But before I evaporate, I like to revitalize your memory with those encapsulating lyrics which proclaim that catarrh is my butter, your piss is my mimbo, the world's greatest lover is me.
Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you because you are too sweet for them. Goodbye for now.
Your slave in love, your pillow, your cushion.
Segun.

Today after all this wahala, he would have gotten a reply and when opens the letter all he would see is

""kk"






Or "hmmm"

Emma003:
... High School,
P. O. BOX ...
....... ..........
8TH JUNE, 1972
.
Dear Titi,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also palambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as fantabulous.

I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only u and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exhalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. Let my appellation be scribbled across your heart, with indelible ink. If any boy tries to ask for your companionship, tell him that u are leased and caveated.

I think I have to pen off here, because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis polymerization. But before I evaporate, I like to revitalize your memory with those encapsulating lyrics which proclaim that catarrh is my butter, your piss is my mimbo, the world's greatest lover is me.
Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you because you are too sweet for them. Goodbye for now.
Your slave in love, your pillow, your cushion.
Segun.

And she will reply,


Dear Honey
My Love, My Sugar, I was
exasperated with pride to have
received one from you, the lungs
in my body flapped with joy
when I have been reading your
letter. Anyway by now you have
reached the realisations to why I
am jotting this small letter to
you, yes it is to see if you are
keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other
side of yours? Well here
everything is just half lemon half
sugar to make it Schweppes.
How is your schooling? How are
you pulling the wagons of life? I
am just pulling the schooling
thing like a donkey pulling a cart..
My honie, I am missing you very
much right now, my heart is
perambulating with every word
that I write, if it was not for
these oceans that decided to
flow between us then I would get
on the next bus to come and
see you, but until then I know
that I will not hesitate to put
this blue blood on this paper and
write to you. I remember that
day lovie, that one sweet day as
Maria Carey sanged it, you know
that it is my favourite song
honie. The one day that we were
boarding the transport and you
escorted me to my home,
walking with you just brought
sweet dreams to me for the
rest of my life honie.
If words of love could ride a
bicycle I would be competing
against mariah carey Anyways, I
will not stop you from reading
the books that give you life and
education so I will stop here for
today.
Please always be writing to me
because I am missing you like
sugar misses tea.
Keep well my mop of my heart,
Yours in flesh and in blood.
COURTESY
Titi

i remember that day the girl i was crushing for discovered the letter i wrote for her in my locker,because i was afraid to give it to her,,men i was cold

At school, July 10, 1964
Dearest Queen Risi:
I am one hundred percent certain that this letter meets you in a
fabulous state of anatomy and metabolism. If so, eternal gratitude to
our Creator. If not, I am the only doctor in town for the Queen.
Oh beautiful Queen! The geography of your body is perfect. Your
body is full of milk and honey, your fingers are richer than gold,
your eyes see better than the moon and sun, your head contains
more wisdom than the sea can hold water. Queen Risi is the model
of perfection, accepted by all the angels, created by God on a Sunday
when He had no time for other duties. You are the last Queen created
by God. Other women that came after you are servants of the Queen.
Risi, I know that you are always busy, the Queen that has a kingdom
to rule. Without a King, a Queen is useless. My principal aim of
writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of
importance which has bothered my soul. This matter is so important.
Even as I am writing, my soul is shaking, my temperature is rising,
the wind vane of my mind and body is pointing everywhere at
the same time. Queen Risi, you need a King.
Queen Risi, you are the only one I see at school, at home, and on
the road. The mirror in my eyes has only your divine image, your
majesty, your throne. I see you in my dream everyday. When I sleep,
you are the one in my medulla oblongata, the only mosquito in my
net, the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment.
To go straight to the point. I want to be your King. I want to wake
up in the morning and see only the Queen. You should be the only
grey matter of my system, the wall clock of my room, the only oxygen
in my head, the only rock in my universe, the only river whose
water I can drink. My sweetest, dearest, talented, fantastic, fondest,
extraordinary paragon of beauty, be mine today, be mine tomorrow,
be mine for ever. Let us live and die together, buried in the Garden of
Eden with our love.
Say Yes, Queen Risi. Only a weak Queen says No. Listen to what
the Lord says. He says we should ask and we shall be given, we
should seek and we will find, and that we should knock and it will be
Herbs & Charms 179
open unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of
our Lord, one thousand, nineteen hundred and sixty-four, asking,
seeking and knocking at the door of the only Queen. Open the door
so that thy servant may enter. Queen Risi means love itself; the
noun, pronoun, metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, conjunction
and the adverb of love. Life has no meaning to me if I cannot
wake up in the morning and behold your beautiful face, your
long legs, your angelic eyes, your majestic lips, your fantabulous
head, your smile.
You are a wise Queen. You realize the mountain that I want to
climb, the ocean I want to swim, the desert I want to cross. If you say
no, there will be no King for the Queen. My life will be like tea without
sugar, like a snail without shell, a cow without horns, a car without
a driver, a cup without tea, a town without people. Queen Risi, I
am Adam, you are Eve. If you say no, I will not be alive to finish reading
your reply. In fact I will kill myself. What is life without Queen
Risi? A man without love is like a fish out of water.
Queen Risi, reply today through the bearer. God’s time is the
best. This is the time for the Queen to meet the King. God has united
us in the Garden of Eden. What God has put together let no man put
asunder. A woman without a man is like a field without seed.
From one and only,
Sali Kasali
Your beloved, faithful, loyal, loving king

Nma27:
early 80's

lol funny. U wey dem born early 90s

TGod i wasnt born den bro

wHyyyyyyyyyY:
lol funny. U wey dem born early 90s

I hear ya...

Hahahahahahahahah
Wao 9ce 1 @ if d girl no agree den she needs immediate deliverance

Emma003:
... High School,
P. O. BOX ...
....... ..........
8TH JUNE, 1972
.
Dear Titi,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also palambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.
Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl put together as fantabulous.

I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.

To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblangata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.
Only u and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exhalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.
Empirically speaking, I love u chemically... I don't ever want to see gloom and doom looming over your angelic live portrait. Let my appellation be scribbled across your heart, with indelible ink. If any boy tries to ask for your companionship, tell him that u are leased and caveated.

I think I have to pen off here, because I still haven't finished studying electrolysis polymerization. But before I evaporate, I like to revitalize your memory with those encapsulating lyrics which proclaim that catarrh is my butter, your piss is my mimbo, the world's greatest lover is me.
Catch you later. Sleep tight and don't let those bed bugs bite you because you are too sweet for them. Goodbye for now.
Your slave in love, your pillow, your cushion.
Segun.

Longman6:
At school, July 10, 1964

Dearest Queen Risi:
I am one hundred percent certain that this letter meets you in a fabulous state of anatomy and metabolism. If so, eternal gratitude to our Creator. If not, I am the only doctor in town for the Queen.

Oh beautiful Queen! The geography of your body is perfect. Your body is full of milk and honey, your fingers are richer than gold, your eyes see better than the moon and sun, your head contains more wisdom than the sea can hold water.

Queen Risi is the model of perfection, accepted by all the angels, created by God on a Sunday when He had no time for other duties. You are the last Queen created by God. Other women that came after you are servants of the Queen.

Risi, I know that you are always busy, the Queen that has a kingdom to rule. Without a King, a Queen is useless. My principal aim of writing this letter to you is to gravitate your mind towards a matter of importance which has bothered my soul. This matter is so important. Even as I am writing, my soul is shaking, my temperature is rising, the wind vane of my mind and body is pointing everywhere at the same time.

Queen Risi, you need a King. Queen Risi, you are the only one I see at school, at home, and on the road. The mirror in my eyes has only your divine image, your majesty, your throne. I see you in my dream everyday. When I sleep, you are the one in my medulla oblongata, the only mosquito in my net, the only sugar in my tea, the only fly in my ointment.

To go straight to the point. I want to be your King. I want to wake up in the morning and see only the Queen. You should be the only grey matter of my system, the wall clock of my room, the only oxygen in my head, the only rock in my universe, the only river whose water I can drink. My sweetest, dearest, talented, fantastic, fondest, extraordinary paragon of beauty, be mine today, be mine tomorrow, be mine for ever. Let us live and die together, buried in the Garden of Eden with our love. Say Yes, Queen Risi. Only a weak Queen says No.

Listen to what the Lord says. He says we should ask and we shall be given, we should seek and we will find, and that we should knock and it will be open unto us. I am this 10th day of the seventh month in the year of our Lord, one thousand, nineteen hundred and sixty-four, asking, seeking and knocking at the door of the only Queen. Open the door so that thy servant may enter. Herbs & Charms 179

Queen Risi means love itself; the noun, pronoun, metaphor, oxymoron, thesis, antithesis, irony, conjunction and the adverb of love. Life has no meaning to me if I cannot wake up in the morning and behold your beautiful face, your long legs, your angelic eyes, your majestic lips, your fantabulous head, your smile.

You are a wise Queen. You realize the mountain that I want to climb, the ocean I want to swim, the desert I want to cross. If you say no, there will be no King for the Queen. My life will be like tea without sugar, like a snail without shell, a cow without horns, a car without a driver, a cup without tea, a town without people. Queen Risi, I am Adam, you are Eve. If you say no, I will not be alive to finish reading your reply. In fact I will kill myself.

What is life without Queen Risi? A man without love is like a fish out of water. Queen Risi, reply today through the bearer. God’s time is the best. This is the time for the Queen to meet the King. God has united us in the Garden of Eden. What God has put together let no man put asunder. A woman without a man is like a field without seed.

From one and only,
Sali Kasali
Your beloved, faithful, loyal, loving king

Chisos!! Osanobua! Tamuno!! Chukwu biko!! See as you take one letter, scatter the mind of one small girl called Risi. And what was Risi's reply? I dey suspect say na you write love letter to my neighbour's sister, that time we dey for boundary junction, near Minna. Unfortunately, the letter fell into her father's hands by mistake, and he flogged her silly. Tell me the truth: "Did you end up marrying Risi, after all these grammatical gymnastics, in your love letter?"

laudate:


Chisos!! Osanobua! Tamuno!! Chukwu biko!! See as you take one letter, scatter the mind of one small girl called Risi. And what was Risi's reply? I dey suspect say na you write love letter to my neighbour's sister, that time we dey for boundary junction, near Minna. Unfortunately, the letter fell into her father's hands by mistake, and he flogged her silly. Tell me the truth: "Did you end up marrying Risi, after all these grammatical gymnastics, in your love letter?"

Risi did not even read the letter, she tore it immediately the emissary delivered it to her. That letter was adopted from a memoir written by African's most referenced author Toyin Falola titled: a mouth sweater than salt