please advise me.. I just found out that my girlfriend of four years started dating another guy( who is aware of us) few days back. I stumbled on the chat with the guy on her WhatsApp, although she has previously deleted the chat. she has cried and begged me severally, well, I told her I had forgiven her. During those four years, we have had misunderstandings, but I didn't allow that to break us. I used to tell her the only thing that will make me leave her is if she cheats on me. I contacted the guy to know why he had to approach my girl even when he knew we were dating.. He said he was sorry and it was all his fault and I should forgive my girlfriend and move on with her and blah blah blah.. I'm just afraid to break my own code which is never to continue with her again if I catch her cheating. now she is sincerely sorry for hurting me and has been crying all day just asking me to forgive her. please how can I learn to bring back the trust she had broken in this relationship. sincerely I love her dearly and I have been planning a future with her. what is the right step to take here?

it depends, please clarify what u mean by dating, were they just hanging out, saying sweet stuffs, sexting or already having sex?

specimen23:
it depends, please clarify what u mean by dating, were they just hanging out, saying sweet stuffs, sexting or already having sex?

They have had kisses just once

when I saw the chat with the guy, it wasn't really a huge stuff.. so I tried engaging the guy in a chat as if she was the one chatting.. I could deduce that what they have had so far is only some kisses.. I dug deep..

FvckShiT:
there's no fúçking fúture,just keep fúçking her bro

keep fúçkiñg her

haha you wicked oo..

on a serious note, we have been in a serious relationship for four years now. And I think I invested all my heart in it

FvckShiT:
jûst so you fúçking kñow, the other dude is still gônna keep fûçking her

well, when I chatted the guy up using her WhatsApp and impersonating her, the guy was like if it will end up like he will be destroying her relationship, he would back off.


If they start something again, or if she starts something with another guy, I will catch her eventually.


Girls cannot be so clever to keep secrets for too long..

@op, what you should be concerned about is what led your gf to do those things, find out if there is something you havent been doing that made her even give that guy some attention.

specimen23:
@op, what you should be concerned about is what led your gf to do those things, find out if there is something you havent been doing that made her even give that guy some attention.

I'll have a heart to heart conversation with her tonight. At first when she saw that i have known about it, she tried being defensive saying that i caused it. What she meant by i caused it was the few misunderstandings we had earlier march and late february.. all these, i didn't even wait till 24hrs before setling all grudges. and i think misunderstandings are to some extent normal in a relationship as long as you are able to bring things back to track as soon as possible.

CondomSir:
I'll have a heart to heart conversation with her tonight. At first when she saw that i have know about it, she tried being defensive saying that i caused it. What she meant by i caused it was the few misunderstandings we had earlier march and late february.. all these, i didn't even waith till 24hrs before setling all grudges. and i think misunderstandings are to some extent normal in a relationship as long as you are able to bring things back to track as soon as possible.

i understand, i m not talking about misunderstanding in general, i meant..doesnt she complain that you dont give her attention? you dont compliment her when she dresses? or take her out? or listen to her?

U D MAN!!!

FvckShiT:
there's no fúçking fúture,just keep fúçking her bro

keep fúçkiñg her

Why could she not tell you all the things she observed you weren't doing right before she went for the other guy??To me,she just doesnt know what to say when she was caught..be careful

No!

CondomSir:


They have had kisses just once

Just few days back and they already kissed each other? How sure are you that they haven't progressed past that stage?

Your interference will only make the attraction more scared, and what is sacred like a taboo is desired, women need excitement and dynamism, stuff that keep them alive and fun, I've never seen a four year relationship without interference from other parties.

Bro.. That guy go still Bleep the babe.. Lobatab

specimen23:
i understand, i m not talking about misunderstanding in general, i meant..doesnt she complain that you dont give her attention? you dont compliment her when she dresses? or take her out? or listen to her?

I give her a lot of attention. I compliment her beauty both face to face or whenever she upload or send me a newly snapped picture. in fact, I overwhelm her with both attention and compliments. I also give a listening ears.. I always give her advice on whatever issue she's passing through. about taking her out, for the past one year plus now, we have maintained a distance relationship so we might not get to hangout often. I do not think the guy she cheated with is taking her out either cus she is a room mate with my sister in school, so if she is hanging out with anyone, I will know.


Could it be the distance

rychard:
Your interference will only make the attraction more scared, and what is sacred like a taboo is desired, women need excitement and dynamism, stuff that keep them alive and fun, I've never seen a four year relationship without interference from other parties.

Bro.. That guy go still Bleep the babe.. Lobatab

Bro what do you advise me to do now? Should I just move on with my life and jilt the four years we have been good together?

Ladies your advice is needed too


cc ishilove

CondomSir:


Bro what do you advise me to do now? Should I just move on with my life and jilt the four years we have been good together?

I must say that I really like your maturity. All your responses has proven that. Girls generally are flexible minded, I will advice you not to give up on your investment so soon. please give he a second chance. On trusting her like before, make sure both of you don't make reference to it anytime even when you have issues. Just assume it never happened. You won't be happy if she leaves you because you made a mistake once. Forgiveness is a must if you love her. Since it's the first time. Don't throw her away just like that. Give her a second chance. I like it when a guy decides to challenge himself by being faithful. Don't forget to keep praying for her not to fall too.

Adesammy01:

I must say that I really like your maturity. All your responses has proven that. Girls generally are flexible minded, I will advice you not to give up on your investment so soon. please give he a second chance. On trusting her like before, make sure both of you don't make reference to it anytime even when you have issues. Just assume it never happened. You won't be happy if she leaves you because you made a mistake once. Forgiveness is a must if you love her. Since it's the first time. Don't throw her away just like that. Give her a second chance. I like it when a guy decides to challenge himself by being faithful. Don't forget to keep praying for her not to fall too.

Thanks a lot for this bro. I could see the sincerity in her apology. I have never experienced disappointed as big as this before. You know, I trusted her so much that if it were someone who hinted me that she was cheating, I wouldn't have believed.

Have you had any experience if this kind before?

CondomSir:
when I saw the chat with the guy, it wasn't really a huge stuff.. so I tried engaging the guy in a chat as if she was the one chatting.. I could deduce that what they have had so far is only some kisses.. I dug deep..

lol... Reading this post it was as if I was the one that wrote it or you are talking about me, the only difference is that my relationship then was not 4 years old and I forgave her and we moved on but later something terrible happened and everything went sideways

Give her a second chance and be careful too like someone said don't refer to it when you have misunderstandings again, act like it never happened but I will add this be watchful o, though don't be too suspicious of her at least don't do it to her face it will take her further away from you

CondomSir:


Thanks a lot for this bro. I could see the sincerity in her apology. I have never experienced disappointed as big as this before. You know, I trusted her so much that if it were someone who hinted me that she was cheating, I wouldn't have believed.

Have you had any experience if this kind before?

lol...I've had an exact similar experience before

I advice the use of condomSIR

Bros if U love her so much continue but if Ur love for her is nt that strong quit because it either she does it again or U retaliate later.

eitsei:
lol... Reading this post it was as if I was the one that wrote it or you are talking about me, the only difference is that my relationship then was not 4 years old and I forgave her and we moved on but later something terrible happened and everything went sideways

Give her a second chance and be careful too like someone said don't refer to it when you have misunderstandings again, act like it never happened but I will add this be watchful o, though don't be too suspicious of her at least don't do it to her face it will take her further away from you

Hmmm.. could you please tell me about that terrible thing that happened and made you departed? Did she cheat again?

Does it mean that every girl at one time or the other will cheat on their partner even if the guy loves and cherish her a lot

CondomSir:


Hmmm.. could you please tell me about that terrible thing that happened and made you departed? Did she cheat again?

Does it mean that every girl at one time or the other will cheat on their partner even if the guy loves and cherish her a lot

people are not the same and can not act same way.. I won't want to poison your mind

weak men everywhere. u self don date gal for 4 years. u no put ring

funny enough na you say you need advice


Still same you defending the girl ...the girl is probably fixing a date with the nigga why you are lamentino like solomon


The koko be say that bae has your mumu remote control

2dice01:
funny enough na you say you need advice


Still same you defending the girl ...the girl is probably fixing a date with the nigga why you are lamentino like solomon


The koko be say that bae has your mumu remote control

I'm not defending her in anyway. And I don't know what you mean by mumu remote control. Some girls will cheat and when you catch them, they will slap it on your face and won't seem remorseful. And with my findings, it isn't really as bad as I thought. I will post details below.. I only need advice on how to clear it off my mind and still trust her.

ednut1:
weak men everywhere. u self don date gal for 4 years. u no put ring

i think I have seen pre-wedding pictures here on nairaland where couples dated for 8-10 years before finally tying the knot. It depends on when the relationship started. Some started in secondary school, some in the university and they were able to sustain it till they were ripe for marriage.

So it is not yet time for me to give her a ring..