Whenever I see old people celebrate a wedding anniversary, I get activated and all excited because such celebrations are gradually becoming archaic. It is quite a very hard thing to see people celebrate a wedding that is more than 15 years nowadays. Most marriages crash in the very first five years. Marriage occurs in phases; the preamble (1-3 years), the learning and understanding (4-9 years), the reaping of fruits (10 and above). It is disheartening to notice that most marriages now crash in the preamble stage (i.e., the adaptation stage).

My parents recently celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Yes, Forty years of love, arguments, and brawls and above all sharing together. Forty solid years of sacrifice, learning and adapting to accommodate each other’s excesses. In all these forty years, hurt was inevitable, quarrels were not absent but one thing got me surprised, in all these years, there was no sign or thought of divorce.

Recently, we hear of people wedding, they give up all they have to celebrate a one day thing and just few months into the University of Marriage, they drop out and opt in for a divorce. These people were wrongly informed about the real nature of marriage and living together as husband and wife.

Find below, some reasons why contemporary marriages fail;

1. The love is conditional:

Unlike what was once shared between married people in the good old days, today’s love is conditional. People’s love is now attached to reasons. I love her/him because s/he is hot, he is rich and handsome, and he is tall and successful. I love her because she has the perfect curves at the right place, she is fair, skinny and the list is just endless.

Our parents grew up to love each other. Although some of those marriages were arranged but they are far better than what we now have as love. They don’t have a reason for loving each other; they know they love each other. When love is attached to reasons then such a love is bound to fail when the reason disappears. What is shared today between couples is not love but infatuation.

2. The relationship is built on lies:

Relationship periods are supposed to be moments of truth, and getting to know each other better to be able to build a healthy family. Today, relationships are majorly built on lies. Everyone is trying to win the heart of that one person s/he claims to love and will go to any length to impress the person.

Getting a guy or a girl is now considered a trophy. People pretend for years only to reveal their true self within the four walls of marriage.


3. No one is ready to submit:

Maybe due to our level of education, no one is willing to submit to the authority of the other. No one is willing to admit his/her wrong. Everyone feels it’s his/her right to be treated well and so on. Some have even considered marriage to be a way of slavery. This is the major reason many people find themselves before the court of law. I am tired of this slavery and I need to quit.

4. No one is ready to build a perfect family:

The perfect marriage is built and not realized overnight. Most couple just wants to walk into a perfect marriage without offering the sacrifice to build it. The most successful marriages were built and not inherited. They were not bought by riches but achieved from many years of resilience and hard work. Most often, they think they can apply scenes from movies or books into marriages but it doesn’t work that way. Unless the married are ready to put in some sacrifice and make the marriage work, divorce is surely inevitable.

Marriage was originally designed for men and women, not for boys and girls. If you are not yet a man, there is no need to consider going into marriage. It is not something to be rushed into but something to slowly walk into. If you rush into marriage, you will rush out of it. There is no perfect marriage anywhere. Sacrifice, love and patience made it what it is.

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