My guy monitors evry move i make n even evry step i take.he wants 2 be aware of evrywhere i go to,my lecture timetable,my wkend schedule,wen am due 4 my period,my friends,my txt messages,being conscious of evrytin i wear out.infact am tired probably i shud just back out but d luv is there.pls just talk 2 me

Hey which guy are u talking about? The widow u want to marry or who?

(Am in love wit a man 18yrs older dan i am,he wants 2 marry me but he has 3 kids n d wife is late.Am just 22,if u were in my shoes what will u do?please Nairaland users talk 2 me)

Yeah pls o clarify.

Ohhh Boi no b small tin ---i'm jus seein this thread---- 18yrs older with 3 kids hmmmmmmmm

Yea its d same widower dat wants 2 marry me

Yepa

thats serious
then get him to trust u, cos if the trust isnt there u cant make a good home. trust cant be forced nor demanded harshly, just make he earns ur trust by being more opened to him if u truely love him sha.

uchetobi:

(Am in love wit a man 18yrs older dan i am,he wants 2 marry me but he has 3 kids n d wife is late.Am just 22,if u were in my shoes what will u do?please Nairaland users talk 2 me)

Yeah please o clarify.

are u serious being 22 n gettin entangled wit a 40 yr old man whose first kid might be almost 18
u had better weigh wat u r abt gettin into thru n thru before u make the leap.
do u get well with his kids n all dat

Lol Who is not after MONEY in marriage?

Megvikky,

There is nothing wrong marrying a widower.

But his monitoring u is pure BONDAGE

Warn him and if he doesnt agree to ur opinion

Scaram and leave him
enough guys for Nairaland

Fellow nairalanders am grateful 4 ur replies but u must know am not after his money,his kids r 14 11 and 8.infact he wants my folks 2 all my educational bills 2 him,he's man enough 4 me but d age difference is my greatest worry

His controlling nature is what you initially complained about, so the age difference is not your greatest worry.
If you marry him, make sure you embezzle a lot of his money because you won't enjoy the marriage at all. Cheers.

Abegi U people shld stop diz Beating Around d BUSh stuff---If there's no money in MARRIAGE--how will U n'joy it?

@ seun
na wah o
y counsel d girl wrongly?
age really has no much effect esp if the guy is older as in this case
u remember zik's case?
he married a small girl like some 40 yrs difference and they enjoyed the marriage

@megvikky

just pray that he lives long
or else the children and family will say u killed him
wahala don burst be dat

Wateva d case maybe nairalanders kip praying 4 me

Wateva d case maybe nairalanders kip praying 4 me

Her problem initially was not the age gap but the way he tries to control her, which is unhealthy.

Pure Bondage and more importantly. . STUPIDITY!!

I wonder why you want to get stuck up with a control freak. A widower with kids is no big deal. Age is nothing but a number (1.e if you can handle people thinking he is your arist0, that you are a gold digger, him looking aged when you are in your thirties, most probably being a widow at an early age). So get him to understand that his over possessiveness is getting to you then you guys can sort yourselves out and work something out. Cheers. Good luck

Cut loose the guy who has been monitoring you like a hawk. Control sometimes could be a stepping stone to physical abuse.

@2nd girl, there is nothing wrong in dating a widower, but first, you might have to ask yourself, how did his wife die, how does his kids relate to you? Are you sure that you are prepared for a readymade family? And lastly, what happens in future your hubby passes away, how will the property be divided? Have a serious discussion with this guy friend of yours before taking the next leap. If you are approaching the relationship with caution, then, go with your instinct and sever the relationship. Problems are more likely to escalate in a ready made family than a family where there are no kids yet.

@ Meg,

Methinks it all boils down to the age difference. The man will have a complex of "since she's this much younger than me, she might be seeing someone her own age hence all the monitoring." I really don't advise you to allow him foot all your bills if your folks can and i feel the monitoring may reduce after marriage. Anyway i wish you the best though i think u should consider some other factors, do u get along well with his kids? Also does he give u the respect u deserve? He's already made and may therefore not appreciate u like a guy that you built things together might. Anyway just consider all these factors and the ones posted by others b4 u make ur decision 'cos at the end of the day u are responsible for whatever decision u make and u'll live with it everyday of ur life,

He wouldn't be so much on ur case if he trusted you!! Don't you think that's an issue? Again, someone above asked how do you get along with his kids? That is very important! Cuz for the future, he may leave you, but he'll never leave his children. The money is not really an issue. If he has it, very well. He even SHOULD , at his age. How mature is he? What do you really want from life? Have u gone over the partying stage, going to the mall with friends or just watching a crazy movie over pizza? Cuz u will def have none of that after marriage. Are you ready to suddenly become mother of 3 kids by the age of 22? Does he still want to have kids with you (in case you also wish that)? How do your parents feel about him? There are so many questions that you have to answer to yourself.

Maybe it'll help if you simply make a list of faults and advantages. See which turns out to be longer

Good luck!

Yay! Bringing up old thread to break the boring monotony.
@OP
You're in bondage. Don't worry. When he starts beating you, use his money to clean your tears! Mu ha ha ha!

Megvikky:

Wateva d case maybe nairalanders kip praying 4 me

What exactly should we pray for? pls make the right choice and if you decide to marry your daddy make sure he is actually rich not average.

I'm short of words.

@op, kick his f'u'c'k'i'n'g arse off ur life jooh. Yep, all men have fragile ego but his own depicts immaturity and insecurity. Is he indirectly calling you a cheap s'l'u't? There are real men outside that will appreciate you well. Your 'boyfriend' isn't man enough.

Come op if you need prayers I'll direct you to a prayer house oe ehen,iya witch is even here to help you unravel it,just kneel down.

CocoA were u wan direct poster its after 4yrs una wan begin dey prescribe, poster go don get belle join to d mans family.Its pretty obvious she aint living him she likes older menn and she will carry on worshipping d guys arseee, she has no say wotsoever in d union.

^
Abi o,paddy me,who wan direct her kwanu?my own na make e just be say I type something.