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It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 12:17pm On Dec 29, 2009
It's a few days to 2010, and i'm just reflecting on how lonely life can be abroad. This is my 12th Christmas in North America and I am longing for the smell of burning goat. There were 12 people in my fathers' house, and over the holidays, we would become like 22 or so with the cousins from the village and other places if we didn't go to the village. Its just me and my 2 little ones over this holiday, yep got divorced 2 yrs ago. He scrw, d everything that ever moved, white, black, chinese, caribbean,native american, anything, no discrimination. I used to call him the UN ambassador for Vag;n;s. anyway back to msg.
I sure wish I could go home all the time, who can afford that? We went last year 3 of us. Airfare plus spending money over $14K on the credit line, abi where I for put am? Half the money spent on diesel and the other half on recharge cards.
We went to church and all, but somehow its never the same without family and friends that you grew up around. I count my blessings oh, don't think i'm ungrateful, but it sure can get lonely abroad. I miss home. I am on the nightshift at work today, and its 3.09am. Its a little quiet, and as always I wound up here, laughing my tail off at some of the posts, replies and even some of the wranglings, makes me miss naija pple even more.

Tell me some of your lonely stories if you're abroad.

An e.g of mine? ok, In the city where I live, I have a citywide pass to all the recreational facilities; so gyms, pools, saunas, etc. Do I go to any of them? for where? I want someone to go with, and God punish the embassy people when I tried to bring my sister they said she no get ties to Naija she no go return. So na anoder way we dey try now, but that's another thread. So go ahead, tell me your lonely abroad stories.

Take Care

p.s All typos, bad punctuation etc duly acknowledged embarassed

1 Like

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by FBS: 12:19pm On Dec 29, 2009
Just take a trip home then. . . wink
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by iice(f): 12:31pm On Dec 29, 2009
Used to be homesick but not lonely.
Now i ain't home sick.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Nobody: 12:44pm On Dec 29, 2009
@poster

stop your thinking and visit home

some of us visit home 3 to 4 times yearly
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by debosky(m): 4:27pm On Dec 29, 2009
I feel your pain sister - despite all the comforts and 'benefits' of being abroad, you sometimes miss that good old family feeling.

12 years and you have no close friends that you can be close to? That's quite sad. sad

Take heart dear and spend time with your kids - they will bring you as much joy as you need in this festive times.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Nobody: 5:04pm On Dec 29, 2009
@poster
your problem is not home but the fact that you have no time(or will) to do any extra activities so life is just about work kids and home.

use that card and go out(no need for someone to accompany you), meet new people, make friends, party have fun and enjoy this damn life. . . . . . . however difficult it might seem with the little ones.
the fact that you think that life is better at home makes you not enjoy what you have right there at your finger tips.

have a positive outlook on life wherever you are, you never know whats around the corner.

shiiiiiiiiiiite!!!!!!
- go knock at your neighbors door and ask her to come over for a friendly drink.
- ask your colleagues at work to come to the gym/cafe/club/park with you.
- go on different holidays with your kids. no need to go as far as 9ja go to Disneyland/jamaica etc which is around the corner from where you at.

3 Likes

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 5:49pm On Dec 29, 2009
@Afrodoc; I didn't reply the presidense as I knew someone like you would be along to take care of him. P.S. I love the doc smiley
Debosky and everyone else, thanks for the cheering up. Honestly Nigerians are the best. Bomber or not, I'm proud to be one.

1 Like

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by afrodoc(m): 6:07pm On Dec 29, 2009
@medlabgirl i'm so sorry i didnt giv tips on how 2 make d best of d tyms Bt i tink Debosky and mr brownjay hv given gr8 tips.ur kids 1st and 4most could b a source of so much fun.spend tym wit them going places.then spend some adult fun tym either alone(thereby making new friends) or if u already hv friends u culd go on girls outings wit ur pals.bt wats missing myt b a luvly romance wit dt special some1.just stay positive and explore d fun opportunities whereva u r.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Nobody: 1:32pm On Dec 30, 2009
Aww. Yeah use those cards and don't be afraid to start a conversation wt someone who looks nice. Or u could take a class or something. Join an activity group in church. I pray u can afford xmas in naija next yr.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by dominique(f): 2:11pm On Dec 30, 2009
@Medlabgirl
awww pity. . . sucks to be you sad
since you're a med lab scientist. . .you should check out this thread

p.s All typos, bad punctuation etc duly acknowledged embarassed

don't beat yourself up over it, we're used to those wink
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by jugz(f): 8:02pm On Dec 30, 2009
Medlabgirl, i feel ur pain (tho am neither abroad nor in ur shoes) but i know how hellish being lonely can be. Just try n make friends, it helps
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by harakiri(m): 9:47pm On Dec 30, 2009
@Poster

I can send you some roasted goat meat with herbs via fedex at a discount rate.

Watcha say girl?
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by uofa(m): 12:59am On Jan 03, 2010
medlabgirl hook me up on sultan0834@yahoo.com

im in the us too!we can chat and i can give u mor useful tips cos im not lonely at all!
Be Blessed!
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by selencious(f): 4:27am On Jan 19, 2010
Awwww!!! Im so sorry bout that. Ive gat mi whole family with me,;except mi dad, who is a Professor in Nigeria, he comes visit often. Besides, mi mum gets all kinda African dishes here at the African Market. I was born and bred in the states, so I don't really feel lonely, U might come pay me a visit sometimes, im fun to be with,  smiley smiley smiley
Ima tell mi mum to cook you a big time African dish, just mention it, lol, She's a great cook.

1 Like

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by bkbaybe99: 9:23am On Jan 19, 2010
@Medlabgal; if ure under the age of 42, not overweight and even "ok" in the looks department, then holla at ur boy. If u are none of the above, um,ah, we can keep it strictly Nairaland chatting, 'na mean?lol
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by chiogo(f): 12:28am On Jan 20, 2010
selencious:

Awwww!!! Im so sorry bout that. Ive gat mi whole family with me,;except mi dad, who is a Professor in Nigeria, he comes visit often. Besides, mi mum gets all kinda African dishes here at the African Market. I was born and bred in the states, so I don't really feel lonely, U might come pay me a visit sometimes, im fun to be with,  smiley smiley smiley
Ima tell mi mum to cook you a big time African dish, just mention it, lol, She's a great cook.
Aww, how sweet.

Well, during the holidays I don't feel homesick because I spend it at home with la familia, not like they're outside the country anyway. But sometimes in school, I get homesick, like right now.  sad

@poster, you'll be alright. Just try to have fun with the kiddos. Take 'em to places like Disneyworld smiley
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by bkbaybe99: 1:45am On Jan 20, 2010
And disney world don't cost money? U know we in a recession right?
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Nobody: 8:21am On Jan 21, 2010
.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Gilbertman(m): 2:26am On Mar 31, 2010
Medlabgirl,
I got this post from actual searching for you.I got to know about Nairaland just 3 or so days ago,and I read through the discuss and on getting to the comment postings, I was so engrossed in nairaland that I stay till like 3 am just reading the comments, I laugh ,hold my side till water oozed from my eyes.It was a new discover fun for me.Now your commnets back and forth with one of the contributors on the 'US probe 2 pastors' etc really get me to want to know more of you.
Anyway, as to this 'lonely abroad'thing,I could feel your longings, though you have been there longer , 12 years, but for fresh arrivees like me, sometimes I wonder why did I leave my country to come to this, atimes it get so lonely that I am a step a way from booking my ticket back home, but then when I think of what I left behind and the opportunity that could be garnered for my folks left back in NG, I stay and live 1 day at a time,moment by moment.
How to cope,I think you should invest more in people around you,your kids,volunteer for this and that,if u have the time to spare.Also thinking about some info or talents that u have that may be educative /enlightening to others worldwide and posting it on wikipedia.com or ehow.com will occupy your time and is very rewarding too.The other thing left is to have a chat buddy that u can connect with anytime and just unwind.Movies,u've seen some impossible movies like the beverlyhills chihuahua,Beverly hills hillybillies,Matilda,multiplicity,007 collections etc, I know u may have gone through all that taking note of your long sojourn abroad.You may think of going over some of them with your kids.Now how about learning to do something you have always want to do,  belle dancing,learning to play a musical instrument,yoga,singing,writing a poetry etc
, no more space, 2 write
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 1:59pm On Apr 14, 2010
Gilbertman:

Medlabgirl,
I got this post from actual searching for you.

That's funny with the no more space to write. Why were you looking for me? Mexico? Wow! how are things there?

@ everybody else, sorry I have somewhat abandoned this post. I've just been busy, and each time (like now for instance) when I try to pick it up again, my pager goes off! The sick people can't wait oh. Alright I'll be back again hopefully soon. I dont want to be "that slack backside black girl" you know what I mean.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Gilbertman(m): 2:15pm On Apr 15, 2010
Medlabgirl,how'u?I am looking for you'cause there's a side of you that portrayed affableness,there is the fiery take no nonsense side too(the I must say my own,you cant cowed me down,lol, ) and then you describe urself so vividly(in order to awed/scared the guy u said has little "peepee"wink.Those piece(s) btw the two of u got me hooked to NL!!
The carribeans/Mexico is fine, an haven for vacationers (blue hole, jaguar paw,ecoparks),you know beaches,cayes,historical locations, Maya ruins,nice people lots of sea,sand and sky, peaceful,

1 Like

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 1:50am On Apr 17, 2010
bk_baybe99:

@Medlabgal; if ure under the age of 42, not overweight and even "ok" in the looks department, then holla at your boy. If u are none of the above, um,ah, we can keep it strictly Nairaland chatting, 'na mean?lol





I no fit laff grin grin grin grin.

I am 36 buddy, and you would need a spade to pick your jaw off the floor if you saw me; sorry to be immodest. That's part of the problem I have always had. Men cannot seem to get past my physical appearance, and when they finally do, it becomes a competition to try to prove that they are as smart as they perceive me to be. I don tire.

I really have to say that I do not at this point in my life want a man on the lover level; and no I DO NOT WANT A WOMAN EITHER; I don't swing that way.( As I repeatedly had to tell this woman who tried to pick me up in English Bay on a recent trip to Vancouver BC.)

I would love to have a friend about my age +\- 6 years with whom I could watch Jeopardy, or sit in front of a bookstore and have a coffee with, while watching the world go by, and of course making fun of people, come on we all do it sometimes.

I would love to once again have a small circle of friends whom I could cook up my famous Ogbono or Egusi soup with stockfish and then pretend its no big deal when they try to eat their fingers as well, I could go on and on. Hope life is treating all you NLanders well. I will keep trying to pick up with this thread

1 Like

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 2:00am On Apr 17, 2010
@ Gilbertman, thanks for your kindness. I am glad I helped get you onto NLand. I do know about Mexico in terms of places like Cancun being a vacationers spot, the H1N1 scare of 2009 notwithstanding. I was asking how is it in terms of being a Nigerian living there, and trying to support yourself and the family back home like you mentioned if I am not mistaken.

Yes characterwise I can be somewhat feisty, but my youngest sister calls me "Ferrero" as in Ferrero Rocher because she says I am like the much celebrated chocolate, all prickly on the outside, but a gooey mush on the inside.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 2:05am On Apr 17, 2010
Awwww!!! Im so sorry bout that. Ive gat mi whole family with me,;except mi dad, who is a Professor in Nigeria, he comes visit often. Besides, mi mum gets all kinda African dishes here at the African Market. I was born and bred in the states, so I don't really feel lonely, U might come pay me a visit sometimes, im fun to be with, smiley smiley smiley
Ima tell mi mum to cook you a big time African dish, just mention it, lol, She's a great cook.


Thanks ever so much Selencious; I might just take you up on the offer. I am a great lover of mums, mine and my friends, they are mostly full of hugs, obvious advice, and just brimming with love. When I am with or around a mum, I become a total goofball, trying to amuse them, and generally trying to make them feel how wonderful I think good mums are.

2 Likes

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Rothstein: 10:38am On Apr 17, 2010
@Medlabgirl. you are awesome.Strong personality u've got.who a fool he is to lose a total pack like you.do u miss him now?
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 12:32am On Apr 18, 2010
Rothstein:
do u miss him now?

Hi there Rothstein; I am now cracking my brains trying to discover the etymology of your NL handle; abi you be Nigerian-Jew?

Thanks for the compliments. Per your question, I can't really say that I miss him as a husband and lover because there were too many bad times, but having said that, you can't spend 10 years with a person and then they just disappear from your thoughts. For e.g. I am 5'8" tall, but he was 6'3", and now anytime I get on a stool to get something off my highest shelves in the kitchen, I cannot help remembering him saying "you for eat beans when you dey small" as I always used to have him reach for things. Although truly 5'8" is tall for a woman I think.

2 Likes

Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Medlabgirl: 12:39am On Apr 18, 2010
Now I think about it, nobody told any lonely abroad stories, hmn, I wonder why. I did not expect the thread to kind of focus on me, heaven forbid I ever become that egotistical.
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Rothstein: 2:34am On Apr 18, 2010
Medlabgirl:

Hi there Rothstein; I am now cracking my brains trying to discover the etymology of your NL handle; abi you be Nigerian-Jew?

Thanks for the compliments. Per your question, I can't really say that I miss him as a husband and lover because there were too many bad times, but having said that, you can't spend 10 years with a person and then they just disappear from your thoughts. For e.g. I am 5'8" tall, but he was 6'3", and now anytime I get on a stool to get something off my highest shelves in the kitchen, I cannot help remembering him saying "you for eat beans when you dey small" as I always used to have him reach for things. Although truly 5'8" is tall for a woman I think.
@Medlabgirl, aint no jew.proper nijja! 5'8? you are way pass the average height for a woman. sorry im being personal but i just could not help but wonder why he messed up so much . im not holding brief for him but would you forgive if he comes begging? I have not met you in person but there is sometin about u dat appeals to me and some other people on NL. Take my word, you are stronger than you think so let no one run you down. pls are you on blackberry service?
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Gilbertman(m): 4:04pm On Mar 30, 2020
Medlabgirl:
@ Gilbertman, thanks for your kindness. I am glad I helped get you onto NLand. I do know about Mexico in terms of places like Cancun being a vacationers spot, the H1N1 scare of 2009 notwithstanding. I was asking how is it in terms of being a Nigerian living there, and trying to support yourself and the family back home like you mentioned if I am not mistaken.

Yes characterwise I can be somewhat feisty, but my youngest sister calls me "Ferrero" as in Ferrero Rocher because she says I am like the much celebrated chocolate, all prickly on the outside, but a gooey mush on the inside.
Where are you now? Still in CA?
Re: It Sure Is Lonely Abroad by Whitemagic: 2:36am On Dec 09, 2020
Gilbertman:

Where are you now? Still in CA?
U came to check on her after 10 years!? Wow! How are you yourself seniore? Trust you've been great!

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