[/quote][quote author=Ebonyeyes link=topic=374266.msg5245851#msg5245851 date=1262610016]
So in essence, this young lady should continue to suffer in silence? God help women in Nigeria.

harakiri:

If you continue with this bimbo mentality of yours, i promise you. . .fifteen years from now, YOU WILL STILL BE SINGLE! ! !

Mark my words (everyone)

Hey, bro! 

Inasmuch as I don't support the idea of a wife not washing her husbands clothes, I want to make it clear to you that 'marriage' is not COMPULSORY.  It is choice!

In your writing, you mentioned how the lady would still remain single in 15yrs from now as if, marriage is compulsory and in fact, her life would not be fulfilled without it, really Well, I want you to understand that, marriage is not made for everyone besides, there are alternatives to marriage. We were never told that Adam and Eve were married in any Registry Office or Church or Synagogue or Mosque to make them full and complete husband and wife, were we? Yet, they were COMPANIONS to each other and went on to have their own children, didn't they? Doing so, did it change the ideas about marriage or strengthened it?  What they did is symbolic of what most people are doing today however, there is a difference - the law of God is far, far different to that of man. Theirs were God's intention and that's the difference. .  

Again, you said women want children more that men do after all, why do they have their wombs? I would like to word the same question differently - what is the primary purpose of humans (males/female) sex organs? You see, women want children for different reasons from men (emotional, to experience motherhood, fulfilment and to procreate etc) whilst men definitely want them for procreation i.e. keeping the family name 'Rolling' as well as giving them pleasure and a sense of having a child of their own (blood and flesh).  So, both equally need children hence men and women are EQUAL in the presence of God. Therefore, God made this possible through procreation as both could not have children without the other. Try it if you can and see whether it's a macho thing! You both have to bring in your halves to make ONE WHOLE NUMBER i.e produce one complete human being! So, women should be respected and treated as equals because, without their own halves, there's no family name, period! 

Again, having children is not compulsory.  We don't have to have them if we don't want to as having children or not, is one of those CHOICES one has to make in life.  Because it's choice, it's not compulsory that we should all procreate and if it was, why is it that some people are deprived of that by nature - deprived from experiencing the joys of fatherhood/motherhood? Yes, it's true in this modern times, Technology has tried its best at reversing the plans of nature yet, this Technology belongs to God and so far, not everyone is succeeding with its products e.g. IVF (In-vitro Fertilisation) etc because, nature still has control on things - God's will must be done!. 

My brother in your writing, I could sense some antagonisms about women please, respect them and treat them as equals and not as MASTER and SLAVES, not in this modern times, anyway.  If I should borrow your words, 'there are many divorces in the US and the UK' but I ask, who is the loser here Everyone loses but some people lose more than others and that's MEN!

Yes, women would lose their home, security and standard of living hence poverty would strike and strike hard however, men would not only lose money, their home, family unit , sense of self and now wait for the big one - LONELINESS that nearly killed them in the Garden of Eden, remember? So, don't go there! In this modern times, if you really want a peaceful and long lasting marriage in your life, treat your wife with LOVE, RESPECT and as EQUALS that way, she will RECIPROCATE 110% to the envy of your friends and neighbours because, we women know how to give a man a good loving! Try it!!

Esibi:

Where both partners have mutual respect for each other, there is no such thing as 'it is compulsory for the husband or the wife to do one thing or the other'. The exception to this view are the naturally roles of who donates the egg and who donates the spermatozoa.

A woman may be the one empowered to build the family house while the man may be the one available to wash the dishes and cook the familiy meal.

I speak as a married man.

I had to wash my wifes' clothes along with those of my baby and myself just yesterday and I felt happy doing that while she (my wife) prepares our dinner.
There is joy in making life easy for others (most especially for those who you truly love).

Abekeade08:

what is the big deal with a woman washing her husband's clothes. Na wah for una ooh. Men are like big babies, treat your husband well and take care of him and you will have him eating out your hand. He will treasure you because knows where his bread is currently buttered.

Abekeade08:

what is the big deal with a woman washing her husband's clothes. Na wah for una ooh. Men are like big babies, treat your husband well and take care of him and you will have him eating out your hand. He will treasure you because he knows where his bread is currently buttered.

Abekeade08:

I think the problem with a lot of the other ladies who disagree with this issue is westernanization. My mother is a Trinidadian who has been sucessfully married to my Nigerian father for 35years. She is a strong willed woman but she understands what it means to be submissive and play the role of a good wife. I am a Yoruba Nigerian girl who has been living in the U.S for 11 years however I have not forgotten my culture or how i was raised. If women took care of their husbands needs both in the home and in bed, there would be less running around by Nigerian men.

bolanleodu:

I can see one has to pray harder to get a good wife nowadays,  No wonder most marriages dont last.

GL:

it's not doing housework that makes women feel like slaves, it's the way people around react to a woman doing housework that does. a woman lovingly does her husband's laundry and he goes into a rage over a missing sock when there are so many others. a woman goes out of her way to make an elaborate dinner for a man and he complains that there isnt enough salt/ soup is too thick. a man's relatives complain about the wife's inability to cook their local food, ignoring how well she cooks other foods. that's what makes women feel like slaves.

i don't know why the guys complaining here can't just calm down and read through the ladies' posts. most ladies here aren't saying they can NOT wash their husbands clothes. they are saying they CAN but they are NOT obliged to do so. and even more importantly, many of us have posted that we would gladly do a guys laundry IF he is appreciative of our efforts.

seriously, is it too much to ask that you appreciate what a woman does for you. i think the problem is many men don't want to feel grateful, they want to feel like the woman has to do it since they do something else. i know some guys actually appreciate these things. but i've seen too many men who never ever appreciated anything their wives did. a man who got angry because the wife served the same soup twice in a week, yet this woman was the one working to sustain the family.

i tend to appreciate things people do for me out of their own will than things people do out of obligation. that someone sacrifices herself for love and not out of duty, it gives the sacrifice so much more value. so i find it shocking that guys aren't happy to see that their wives don't see housework as an obligation. the truth is cleaning comes naturally to most women, we don't necessarily notice it until someone takes advantage of it.

ancel:

@GL: And now, THAT is another topic entirely, I hope you know? Human beings are fundamentally selfish and ungrateful unless they are forced to be otherwise, or unless love has taken over their hearts. We can't say that women should generally kick against those "compulsory" roles[i] just because[/i] some men are ungrateful and condescending! That will be like saying that guys should always have a mistress - that worships them - as an emotional reserve, a backup, somewhere because some women nag their husbands to the point of utmost vexation; or that men should not always provide for the home because some wives take the money that the hardworking husband provides and waste it on trivialities. Your point about slave-driving is an entirely different case, even though related to the topic, IMO.