I am not going to be nice today. I will be as proud as a peacock and speak like an aristocrat. I don’t care if you are offended. I think I need to be a little offensive so that you all can live happily ever after.
You see, I don’t just get why some men will have to force their wives to obey them. Why do you have to spit fire like sango before she submits to you?
Do you have to whip the Mrs. in your house to submission?
Hey, I don’t even need you to start quoting verses from the bible, the Quran or give me any traditional reasons for submission.
It’s because I know what all these religious books say and as a Nigerian, I know our traditional values.
I don’t think you have to force your spouse to submit to you. If you married the right person, you don’t even need to spell it out to that person, because love and submission come hand-in-hand.
You don’t have be an Idi Amin in your house before your spouse is at your beck and call.
Men should stop thinking that because they are men; they can just walk up to any woman and date her. They should not think, because they have a third leg, they can clip the wings of every woman they come across.
As a young child, I read beautiful love stories, from Cinderella marrying Prince Charming to Aladdin living happily ever after with Princess Jasmine.
I remember watching a Nigerian love story which title I can’t recall now, where a rich couple refused to betroth their daughter to a poor man. The man was hopelessly in love and the girl was smitten by him but the girl’s parents refused bluntly. I remember I wept watching that entire guy went through. But then, I was young and very foolish. I was told that love cuts across status. Yes, that’s what we were all told but in real life, such stories are not common. I have purged myself of all that gibberish and I now have a new orientation.
Believe me, I am romantic at heart and I love happily ever after stories. However, as I grew older, life has taught me a lot.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this type of love doesn’t exist but only two in a hundred really work out.
I don’t blame rich parents who are protective of their wards; they have spent so much on them. Moreover, they also love these children and they are careful about who they end up with.
Let’s be a little sensible, you guys come from two different worlds and with different bank accounts. Someone from a lower class dating an upper class person might experience resentment and the upper class person might think the lower class person is a gold digger too. So, they already built their relationship on a faulty foundation.
If you have eyes for big women, please make sure you attain a certain level before you accommodate affection and if you can’t wait till then, then go cut your clothes according to your material.
Stop believing all the lies that a big girl will come down to your level; that she will suffer and remain patient with you until you become a rich man.
I have heard these stories of suffering and living happily ever after a thousand times.
Although, I won’t deny there are good love stories like that but they are very few.
Listen attentively. A man is wired to be the breadwinner. So, if you jam a desperate city chic who promises you she will finance the wedding, pay her own bride price and rent a flat where you will both live, don’t come ranting to everyone that she is not submissive. She can’t be, because she already got what she wanted and since you are not making the dough like many of her friend’s husbands, resentment will set in.
My guy, marriage is a lot different from courtship; forget all that lovey-dovey you guys are doing now.
Before you place that wedding band on her finger, she can kneel down while serving you meals, wash all your smelly boxers but when she gets what she wants, she will show you pepper. It’s not entirely her fault; many women have been taught that men should be the one with the status and power.
I am not preaching materialism here, but if the truth must be told, all women are materialistic no matter the class they belong, so there is no crime in being materialistic.
That’s why I am screaming here that you should marry from your class. Marry according to your pocket, so that you won’t have blood pressure when she starts making her demands.
But you won’t listen, because you have a taste for women whose skin glow like the morning sun, with beautiful trendy hair and well manicured nails.
However, have you asked yourself if you can maintain all that? Did she tell you her body cream alone cost half of your salary? She makes her hair every two weeks and do you know how much her human hair cost?
Moreover, you will have to be buying aso ebi every now and then. She won’t be settling for cheap ankara, because her friends don’t even wear ankara. They wear expensive lace, which comes in multiple thousands.
Remember, your mum and siblings are in the village waiting for the stipends you send to them monthly.
Now, let me move to another category, women who are well educated and men who are barely educated.
Are you one of those who are attracted to women who are a combination of beauty and brains? I am talking about confident women who call the shots in the boardroom. Some of these women look like they just walked out of a fashion magazine; they are well exposed and adventurous. I know you have been drooling and thinking that, because you are a man you can marry her and put her in your house. After all, she is a mere woman. If you want to live long, steer clear. If you are not in their class, let the big players take them to dinners at five star hotels. Oh, you don’t even have a car? These women don’t know how scorching the Lagos sun has been lately.
Okay, you have a car and no AC right? Ha, you tried now but taking that cosmopolitan chic in your rickety car with no AC is like driving through hell.
Bros, you are claiming you are sapio sexual abi? But what exactly is your qualification? How many degrees do you have? How many countries have you been to? I pity you. These sophisticated women are widely traveled and intelligent with two or more degrees and they are highly opinionated too. Don’t even think you can shut them down. They get bored with you if you can’t challenge them intellectually.
Please take a long deep breath and think very hard before you make that move.
Interestingly, these women are different from the model your mother comes from. They are free spirited, ambitious and they kick against everything the old model stands for.
For these women, their skills and intellectual prowess earn them economic independence that gives them a fulfilling life. They are progressive. The kitchen is not exciting to them and they will prefer to hire cooks than ruin their manicure. If you think you are punishing them by not eating their food that is like a bank holiday to them. The boardroom is more exciting than any other place in the world.
Oh, you think you can deal with her by denying her sex? A round of applause please, that’s a brilliant way to deal with a woman. Unfortunately, these ones won’t even miss you and they are not cheating with other men.
They are only sex smart; they have an alternative for sex too, yea! They are well informed about all the different types of intimacy gadgets.
However, if you are still bent on doing your will, ask yourself if you’re man enough for it. Can you suck in your entire male ego and walk the mile with her?
Although, some few ones might bend the rules along the line but many don’t. The fact is that you can’t change an adult.
So, think, seek your kind!
Stop climbing ladders to reach things above your means. Birds of same feathers flock together! You will do better with your kind! These women are not aliens, they are Nigerian women and they dwell among us.

A Jar of Vaseline is now N500 ...

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Money comes before love....without money there can never be love, if you want your wife to respect and regard you, and also submit to your rules and regulations.....Money does the magic .....quote me anywhere

Na me go read this kind thing on a Monday.. . Una were the money

OP..please summarize

Jay1F:
A Jar of Vaseline is now N500 ...

no thanks to Vaseline crew. Sad!

All this plenty talk because of. Saturday jollof rice and canopy ? lol . nor worry


hit like if u didn't read it

I know of a couple the guy was from an average family while the girls family were rich.
They had a societal wedding, but afterwards they started having problems. The guys earn average but the girl was high maintenance. She sees nothing wrong in buying a dress for 50k. And she was always travelling abroad saying she can't stay in Nigeria for a long period of time. All these was draining the guy financially.
There marriage lasted just 2years.
Well he got remarried some years back and guess what, he got sense enough to marry a girl from the same social background as him. Since they got married we have heard no issues from them.

Marriage is a business transaction..

U don't wield much power when u contribute less than your partner contribute.

Beautiful piece though I've some reservation on the submission factor. Love and marriage should depend on your bargaining power for orange and mangoes shouldn't mix. If you don't possess complimentary traits as same or similar to the potential partner stay clear, it won't work. Every shoe get size

Speaking of weddings, here are some prom and wedding type hairstyles.
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More prom hairstyles at: http://www.betrendsetter.com/black-girl-prom-hairstyles/

Well thought article.

Generally, women marry up and not down. Also, women love things bought for them not with their money. It's simple psychology and nature. But will people hear?

If a rich lady or a lady born with silver spoon agrees to marry a poor guy, then she is only managing him, or she is avoiding a rich man cos of polygamy - in the case of Hausa ladies. On a personal note sha I won't want to be underrated by marrying from a rich family o cos even if they get a job u may lose the job once u discipline their daughter or refuse to be controlled by her parents

Write up is a dose of reality. OP, I agree with you on many counts.

Note the knife cuts both ways

1. Every high maintenance wife should be ready to deal with a hubby who cheats... A man rich enough for you will have access to aspiring women propositioning him

2. As soon as you get your rich upper class dude, it is either you SUBMIT and leave your feminism at the door or you move out. You can't eat your cake and still have it.



Relationships are complex social interactions that require a lot of balance between the needs and expectations of two adults on an infinite amount of issues. Your POV basically reduces it to monetary terms only. It will be futile to do that and expect all other factors to fall in place automatically

The reality is if you base your choice of partner on one issue only, the rest will plague you for the rest of days

KillerBeauty:
I know of a couple the guy was from an average family while the girls family were rich.
They had a societal wedding, but afterwards they started having problems. The guys earn average but the girl was high maintenance. She sees nothing wrong in buying a dress for 50k. And she was always travelling abroad saying she can't stay in Nigeria for a long period of time. All these was draining the guy financially.
There marriage lasted just 2years.
Well he got remarried some years back and guess what, he got sense enough to marry a girl from the same social background as him. Since they got married we have heard no issues from them.

I believe he married the girl thinking since her family were rich they could sponsor him too but got the shocker...
If you are a guy and earn below 100k, there're women for you, dont go and bring someone born as ajebo who was raised using washing machine and gas cooker to force her into living below her standards. She won't submit to you in the long run, cut your coat according to your pocket please.

This should be a reality check to some guys 'cause in the social strata, the rich befriend the rich, simply because, they want to keep getting richer. They understand how things work in their cycle, like-minds rob-off on each other. You can't be a pauper and want to marry a Dangote and live happily after, more often than not, such marriages don't last 'cause both parties coming would need genuine love, devotion and total submissiveness to climatise to their divergent ways of life. Some of these ladies are so used to their life of ostentatious living that they won't find happiness in any marriage if the man can't sustain them, while if they're the ones doing the spending at some point they'd snap.

Love is blind, it's only for a while.

Well written.