Disclaimer: This post is totally based on my opinion and no one needs to feel compelled to agree.

I've been wondering for quite some time now where the ideas of wedding vows came from. As a Christian, I understand many's stance on dowry but about vows?.....hmmm.....
Personally, I take vows very seriously. In fact, I consciously refrain from making promises I can't keep no matter how insignificant they might be. Just yesterday, a colleague at work asked me to do her a favour and I told her plainly that I'd try but I wasn't going to make any promises. At the end of the day, I wasn't able to grant her that favour but I didn't feel guilty because I had earlier stressed it to her not to be expectant. Our relationship onward wasn't awkward as you would expect because she didn't feel entitled to any promise I made and I didn't have to tread cautiously around her due to the guilt of an unfulfilled debt.

What am I driving at?

....for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

These are very powerful words and I don't take them lightly especially if the vow is said to be taken before GOD. Mbanu! Very risky. It will mean that I have vowed my entirety away. If my husband hits me, it becomes part of the 'worse' I have vowed to live with. If he knowingly infects me with HIV, it is also part of the 'worse' I have vowed to live with. You may want to argue that my analogies are extreme, that is, 'worst'. However, there is always a worst worse than worst so when exactly do you know your partner is treating you in the worst way possible? Someone else somewhere definitely has it worse that you, and that's the reality of life.

If we are being honest, a lot of women and men alike live with this burden of a broken vow, and that guilt makes them stay put even when they are in very unhealthy marriages. We'd rather just endure here than face eternal damnation because a promise is a debt and a debt is a sin right? My question is, why take a vow you cannot guarantee to keep in the first place? Why do churches force couples to take vows penned down for them? Why spoon-feed everyone with the same set of vows? No two marriages are the the same so no two conditions for marriage can be the same especially since we cannot see the future.

What if my husband ends up being a Russian spy?
What if he ends up being my long lost cousin?
What if he says he wants to join the Illuminati and I must follow him so long as I'm his wife?
What if he wants to move the family to North Korea?
What if he is the anti-Christ sef?

All these are major deal-breakers and I wouldn't want to feel guilty for seeking divorce in such a situation. At this junction, I believe couples should be truthful to each other from the onset and say their vows just as it really is in their hearts. My vow should go along the line of;

....until I exhaust every method possible, I will never stop loving you....

http://thenaijafeminist..com.ng/2017/05/for-better-for-worse-is-problem.html