Who are you staying with in the abroad? Another man? Or Nairalanders?

This story is not adding up...where is Mynd44 and lalasticlala sef

I saw terrible things... sister you tried a lot... will continue to join you in prayers to win this case.. the heart of men are so cruel

Hmmn. The things that happens in marriages nowadays scares me
Nawa o

Juzzybabe:
In my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave and https://www.nairaland.com/3164242/advice-after-two-wasted-years, i did express how disappointed I will be if this man comes back after years to claim a child he never cared for. Thank God this forum has been going on well and my stories are still available.

Late 2016, I got messages from friends on Facebook asking me what happened to my marriage as my husband had created a new Facebook name and has been sending them a petition filed against me for divorce and custody of our child. I was advised to ignore as the petition was 1. not signed and 2. he didn't send it to me or any of my immediate families but rather friends on Facebook with this which am sure was to disgrace me. I only advised friends who contacted me to ignore him.

One may wonder what will such a man still have to claim after all he and his parents did? Yes he claimed a lot of lies such as...we were in our matrimonial home and he went to work on this fateful day and by the time he return I had escaped the house(All who followed my story knows I was in his parents house while he was in Dubai until 2015 when he visited and beat me to pulp in 8months old pregnancy and left in march 2015 back to Dubai). That I attempted abortions severally. That I did patronized herbalist and confessed to him. That I labored our first child for hours and ended up with CS...These and many more.

Well, the annoying part is that this guy went to court and have them issued a court proceeding to my Aunt whose house the traditional (in our absent) was done in 2014 stating that was the address they know me to be residing. Well, I had to get all hands on desk as I wish to have my Aunt and her family out of all this mess. He is requesting divorce and custody of our baby. Since May 2015 when I left up to this moment,the only support he give was 40k which he send 20k each for September/October 2015 and has not given any support to the growth and welfare of the child aside that up till now. It has been me alone. Now he wants custody of a 2+ year old child he knows nothing about.

I have been talking to a Lawyer whom I want to take up the case. This is my story people. We all fall in love at one point in our lives, and this is what i got from the one man i ever loved , this is where my feelings has led me. The heart of man is desperately wicked as the Bible says. I am 1001% not guilty of his false and lying accusations, I know God is by my side and I will grow this child to be the a better woman and a loving human.

don't give you child to him.. get to any length but make sure you have your child with you.

can I ask you some few question?
Do you have a steady source of income? , the court might use that against you...

God will see you through.
He will never leave u nor forsake u
not of him dat willeth but of God dat showeth mercy.
God had heard ur plight.
Trust in him dear.
The last battle u lost will be d last u will ever lost because u case is different.
It shall be resolved in your favour.
God bless u.

Slymonster:
Women this days lie a lot.How are we sure he never catered for them.

you are not making sense. how can a pregnant woman cheat on her husband, please if you have nothing to contribute just waka go.

Juzzybabe:


Thank you. Love got me in this o. But my child, I can't see a genuine reason why any law should favour this man after all he's done to me. Good thing is I am out of Nigeria with my child, all thanks to well meaning people on this forum who stood by me in thick and thin of this trouble. I committed no crime having a child for him after marriage neither did I commit a crime by surviving a C-section to bear him a child. So what is now my crime that after he has made me a single mother, he is bent on stealing the only comfort I have left?

Madam, the truth remains that in as much as he legally married you, that child is completely his. Even if you refuse him the child today, time shall come when the child will ask you questions.........

Madam listen, the bitter truth is that if u refused to show ur son the way to his fathers home, the boy must and will surely go back to his father when he grows up. No grown up man is ready to ans a bastard. So the only advice i will give u now is for u guys to settle amicably interms of taking care of the boy. U re not doing him good by taking full possession of him. I might sound harsh but thats d truth

Efewestern:


don't give you child to him.. get to any length but make sure you have your child with you.

can I ask you some few question?
Do you have a steady source of income? , the court might use that against you...

This is pure Ahitophel advice.

There's nothing I hate the most more than ANY parent that uses children as a weapon during a divorce.

The only pertinent question is this, "What is in the best interest of the child?". Ask yourself that question every minute of the ensuing melle and let that guide you. That the father allegedly didn't provide is partial. There's a difference between financial support and parental relationship.

I wish the child the best of luck, the adults will be okay.

Juzzybabe on thing is certain; "They that put their trust in God will never be put to shame". Apparently, your so called husband has a nefarious heart. So long you stick to your God, then fear not. There is surely a great light awaiting you at the end of the tunnel. Lastly, pray for him though you don't want to settle things with him but still pray for him to be a better man tomorrow cause when we pray for those who persecute us, what'll go on in the spiritual realm is beyond human comprehension. Victory is surely yours, Amen

Efewestern:


you are not making sense. how can a pregnant woman cheat on her husband, please if you have nothing to contribute just waka go.

Is this a serious question?

[quote author=Eketem post=57131696]You should have filed first, you have now given him more power [/quote
You are given time to respond to a petition there is no power to be had here.
Why relationships have to involve everyone including the dogs and the cats is beyond me. This is messy. He knows the only way to hurt her is through the children.

woz de contention ?

sekundosekundo:



This is pure Ahitophel advice.

I have experienced so many issues like this and I know where to start from. op we are here for you.. please ignore some kids here

OP, I've been following your story since your first thread. I have no legal advice for you but I'm glad you are not in Nigeria anymore. Just get a lawyer for your Aunt, all will be well by God's grace.

I just wonder how some men can be downright callous. Mental illness has got to be involved.

You've been on his issue for a longtime.... More than 3 years. That dude is a roadblock to where you are going. Many people will tell you to fight and keep the child.. Yea great right. I'd like you to think twice about this. He might not be able to take care of the child but trying to frustrate and give you sleepless nights cause he already knows the advice you'd be given. For the sake of the child, do you think he will be able to cater and provide for the child more than you can? I don't want to buy the 40K gist.. he has spent more than 40K on this case. Just so you don't have regrets tomorrow.... you know the dude more than anyone on this forum. The child might grow up to know his father and have this thought his father could have done better than you are doing. Have a real thought, don't just follow any advice asking you to keep a child if you know it will be more than tough for you. These days, it's not about food but good food, it's not about education but quality education. You need to give you child the upper hand from childhood if you want him to do well in life. I am sorry, I see many things differently.

Slymonster:
Women this days lie a lot.How are we sure he never catered for them.

my father is a good example of men in form of monsters ,so shut the fvck up, most Nigerian men are monsters

Hmmmm! It will be alright.
Don't forget to save all those threat messages o! You may need them some day.
You can as well block him on all your social media handles for now until you guys conclude your case.
My prayer for you is that, if your husband is being spiritually manipulated, the God that can do all things should step in speedily!

Juzzybabe:


Trust me I am very willing to grant him divorce but his condition is divorce + custody. I have been suffering alone raising this kid as a single mother which I never wish for myself. You need to see the petition he filed, so full of lies. He even send me threatening messages and call me to send him the ring and marriage certificate via DHL and assume we are divorced but I could not accept that as it was never the right way. Now out of the blues he wants to claim a child he has no love for but just to hurt me... not while am alive!

Juzzybabe:
In my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave and https://www.nairaland.com/3164242/advice-after-two-wasted-years, i did express how disappointed I will be if this man comes back after years to claim a child he never cared for. Thank God this forum has been going on well and my stories are still available.

Late 2016, I got messages from friends on Facebook asking me what happened to my marriage as my husband had created a new Facebook name and has been sending them a petition filed against me for divorce and custody of our child. I was advised to ignore as the petition was 1. not signed and 2. he didn't send it to me or any of my immediate families but rather friends on Facebook with this which am sure was to disgrace me. I only advised friends who contacted me to ignore him.

One may wonder what will such a man still have to claim after all he and his parents did? Yes he claimed a lot of lies such as...we were in our matrimonial home and he went to work on this fateful day and by the time he return I had escaped the house(All who followed my story knows I was in his parents house while he was in Dubai until 2015 when he visited and beat me to pulp in 8months old pregnancy and left in march 2015 back to Dubai). That I attempted abortions severally. That I did patronized herbalist and confessed to him. That I labored our first child for hours and ended up with CS...These and many more.

Well, the annoying part is that this guy went to court and have them issued a court proceeding to my Aunt whose house the traditional (in our absent) was done in 2014 stating that was the address they know me to be residing. Well, I had to get all hands on desk as I wish to have my Aunt and her family out of all this mess. He is requesting divorce and custody of our baby. Since May 2015 when I left up to this moment,the only support he give was 40k which he send 20k each for September/October 2015 and has not given any support to the growth and welfare of the child aside that up till now. It has been me alone. Now he wants custody of a 2+ year old child he knows nothing about.

I have been talking to a Lawyer whom I want to take up the case. This is my story people. We all fall in love at one point in our lives, and this is what i got from the one man i ever loved , this is where my feelings has led me. The heart of man is desperately wicked as the Bible says. I am 1001% not guilty of his false and lying accusations, I know God is by my side and I will grow this child to be the a better woman and a loving human.

Sorry for wot u re going through ma , but please wer do you base

frenzyduchess:
my father is a good example of men in form of monsters ,so shut the fvck up, most Nigerian men are monsters

stop this gender thing... different humans. The women committing crime daily are what??

Madam, relax, the law will always favor u here. The child is still very little, they won't grant him custody. Marriage is overhyped, peeps need to be very careful both man and woman.

sirugos:
Madam listen, the bitter truth is that if u refused to show ur son the way to his fathers home, the boy must and will surely go back to his father when he grows up. No grown up man is ready to ans a bastard. So the only advice i will give u now is for u guys to settle amicably interms of taking care of the boy. U re not doing him good by taking full possession of him. I might sound harsh but thats d truth

Thank you!

LexngtonSteele:
This won't be a popular opinion. ..

I would say give the baby to the man and exit the relationship.

That's the ONLY way you can ever be rid of him.
What are the advantages?

1. He doesn't have any right to see you again.

2. Your chances of settling with another guy improves. Believe me, no matter how diplomatic guys would want to appear, NO MAN WANTS TO TAKE OF ANOTHER MAN's CHILD.

The only disadvantage I can see is that you lose your own child. If you keep the child, no matter what the courts say, you must accommodate the father at some point.

Question is....do you dislike the man enough to pay the price?

Thank you too!!! The dude is trying to be silly... knowing that something still connects them which is the child. He is just trying to slow this lady. She can always connect with her child later, that won't be a problem.

majekdom2:
stop this gender thing... different humans. The women committing crime daily are what??

the key word there is "MOST" , which means a larger percentage of Nigerian men are wicked and unreasonable,simple, remove sentiments and see the fact

sirugos:
Madam listen, the bitter truth is that if u refused to show ur son the way to his fathers home, the boy must and will surely go back to his father when he grows up. No grown up man is ready to ans a bastard. So the only advice i will give u now is for u guys to settle amicably interms of taking care of the boy. U re not doing him good by taking full possession of him. I might sound harsh but thats d truth

You the only one on here to see ' a son' when others saw 'a girl'
But then again, you made no sense at all
You won't dare call anyone a bastard however little he/she is in person. I know you know

Anyway, Nigeria law favours the mother to have the child up till 9 years old except you have been found unusually unfit to care for a child.

EgunMogaji:


Is this a serious question?

yes.. hardly will a pregnant woman's cheat on her husband.. how do you reason women to be?

please let's respect them.

LexngtonSteele:
This won't be a popular opinion. ..

I would say give the baby to the man and exit the relationship.

That's the ONLY way you can ever be rid of him.
What are the advantages?

1. He doesn't have any right to see you again.

2. Your chances of settling with another guy improves. Believe me, no matter how diplomatic guys would want to appear, NO MAN WANTS TO TAKE OF ANOTHER MAN's CHILD.

The only disadvantage I can see is that you lose your own child. If you keep the child, no matter what the courts say, you must accommodate the father at some point.

Question is....do you dislike the man enough to pay the price?

who said no man wants to accommodate a woman with a child? Talk about yourself pls! Do you even know the pains of losing a child?

frenzyduchess:
the key word there is "MOST" , which means a larger percentage of Nigerian men are wicked and unreasonable,simple, remove sentiments and see the fact

your keyword doesn't make any difference. I have had encounters with more wicked women than men... How about that? Don't use your experience and standards to generalise... scum is no respecter of gender, wickedness is no peculiar to any gender!