majekdom2:
Thank you too!!! The dude is trying to be silly... knowing that something still connects them which is the child. He is just trying to slow this lady. She can always connect with her child later, that won't be a problem.

Mayflowa:


who said no man wants to accommodate a woman with a child? Talk about yourself pls! Do you even know the pains of losing a child?

Yawn....Mr Knight in Shining Armour. Looking forward to your pre-wedding pictures with a woman who has 3 kids already.



Yawn.... Mayflowa & Mama Triplets, 2017

Ladies can fall for your Mr Nice Guy antics, the average guy sees through it

Edopesin:
Men Can Be Heartless Sometimes SMH
OP what state is the idiat


jst asking

majekdom2:
your keyword doesn't make any difference. I have had encounters with more wicked women than men... How about that? Don't use your experience and standards to generalise... scum is no respecter of gender, wickedness is no peculiar to any gender!

Pavore9:


As long as you have not been certified mentally fragmented and proof of his limited financial provision towards the upkeep of the child so far, a good lawyer should get the court to award you custody and get him to make monthly payments for the child's support while he also get to spend time with the child.

Efewestern:


you are not making sense. how can a pregnant woman cheat on her husband, please if you have nothing to contribute just waka go.

Mayflowa:


who said no man wants to accommodate a woman with a child? Talk about yourself pls! Do you even know the pains of losing a child?

sekundosekundo:


Madam, the truth remains that in as much as he legally married you, that child is completely his. Even if you refuse him the child today, time shall come when the child will ask you questions.........

Futureberry:
you are not making sense too,how does being pregnant stop a woman from cheating

LexngtonSteele:


Yawn....Mr Knight in Shining Armour, looking forward to your pre-wedding pictures with a woman who has 2 kids already.

Yawn....

Futureberry:
is child support recognize here in Nigeria?

Mayflowa:


Lol. You don't have to look far. These things happen all around you. I am surprised you make a mountain out of it

Efewestern:




I have experienced so many issues like this and I know where to start from. op we are here for you.. please ignore some kids here

frenzyduchess:
but i have met more wicked men,starting with my father, so ?, I have the right to draw my conclusion based on what i have seen, infact ,according to survey ,men are more likely to commit crimes than women

LexngtonSteele:


I love your last statement and it has given me further insight.

@ OP, call the man's bluff and give the child to him. Let me tell you what could happen then-

1. He can dump her with relatives - most likely option

2. He must have a ready made girl who willingly wants to be a foster mum. Which working man can take care of a baby girl?

This man is playing the OP like a guitar. Every man no matter how stupid he looks is an expert manipulator. A fact women hardly ever get.

He craves the fact that the baby is your life, he enjoys watching you struggle to keep her. Use reverse psychology on him.

Efewestern:


you just jump into conclusion that the lady is cheating, what evidence do you have? , yes hardly will a pregnant woman cheat.. there is a limit to everything and that's the end to that.

majekdom2:
has this blame laying changed these "men"? Crime is not peculiar to any gender!

sekundosekundo:


Madam, the truth remains that in as much as he legally married you, that child is completely his. Even if you refuse him the child today, time shall come when the child will ask you questions.........

Futureberry:
what evidence do you have that a pregnant lady cannot cheat,stop jumping into conclusion too

Juzzybabe:


She bears his name, so definitely one day I will have to answer to her on her paternity. If he truely cared, he would have settled his family after marriage. He left for Dubai 2 weeks after wedding. He returned in 2015 for roughly 3months where I was his beating sand while pregnant. That was all I got from the marriage I signed for. his mother ran our union and fed her son with lies. Do you really think it will be wise for me to leave my kid with such people? What have I done wrong to have another woman raise a child I labour 8hours and still got a cut for? I only wish to raise her into the woman I will beat my chest and be proud of. His intentions of custody is to hurt me, he doesn't deserve her. Remember the woman in the bible who slept on her child and exchange her dead baby for the woman with the living baby and asked the king to split the baby into two cuz she knew the child is not rightfully hers?? God intervene. He will stand by me and I will succeed.

Efewestern:


you just jump into conclusion that the lady is cheating, what evidence do you have? , yes hardly will a pregnant woman cheat.. there is a limit to everything and that's the end to that.

LexngtonSteele:


I love your last statement and it has given me further insight.

@ OP, call the man's bluff and give the child to him. Let me tell you what could happen then-

1. He can dump her with relatives - most likely option

2. He must have a ready made girl who willingly wants to be a foster mum. Which working man can take care of a baby girl?

This man is playing the OP like a guitar. Every man no matter how stupid he looks is an expert manipulator. A fact women hardly ever get.

He craves the fact that the baby is your life, he enjoys watching you struggle to keep her. Use reverse psychology on him.

Efewestern:


yes.. hardly will a pregnant woman's cheat on her husband.. [s]how do you reason women to be?

please let's respect them.[/s]

frenzyduchess:
OK, but can I atleast have my opinion in Peace?

Efewestern:


See the way we they beat round the bush.. bros let's just advice and move on;

bur change your mentality sha

Juzzybabe:


NO WAY! if I get you right...am not gonna play that game with his mum. please note that my mother inlaw is the brain behind all this. They say a friend turn enemy had been hating since day one. I still can't find what I did to this woman to deserve this much hate from her. Now I think am forced to accept the fact that she never wanted us together but only pretended as her son was bent on marrying me. she played along to perfect her plan after wards. I was used. The only thing that keeps my head up is my girl. I can't even try the game of testing him with her. I can imagine the pain she will feel to see me abandon her to a total stranger. If he had been supportive, it would make some sense, bit this man had not been concern in any way. Am not playing that game of trying him with my kid. Did you get the part where I stated am not in Nigeria. Make he come beat me for here na lol.

Juzzybabe:


NO WAY! if I get you right...am not gonna play that game with his mum. please note that my mother inlaw is the brain behind all this. They say a friend turn enemy had been hating since day one. I still can't find what I did to this woman to deserve this much hate from her. Now I think am forced to accept the fact that she never wanted us together but only pretended as her son was bent on marrying me. she played along to perfect her plan after wards. I was used. The only thing that keeps my head up is my girl. I can't even try the game of testing him with her. I can imagine the pain she will feel to see me abandon her to a total stranger. If he had been supportive, it would make some sense, bit this man had not been concern in any way. Am not playing that game of trying him with my kid. Did you get the part where I stated am not in Nigeria. Make he come beat me for here na lol.

LexngtonSteele:


Just 1 single question :

Is it the norm or the exception for a man to want to take care of another man's kids?

Answer before I start yawning again.... YAWN...

I know your type, after ranting here, you would be the first to say an "after-1" has lost market value in real life

Juzzybabe:
In my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave and https://www.nairaland.com/3164242/advice-after-two-wasted-years, i did express how disappointed I will be if this man comes back after years to claim a child he never cared for. Thank God this forum has been going on well and my stories are still available.

Late 2016, I got messages from friends on Facebook asking me what happened to my marriage as my husband had created a new Facebook name and has been sending them a petition filed against me for divorce and custody of our child. I was advised to ignore as the petition was 1. not signed and 2. he didn't send it to me or any of my immediate families but rather friends on Facebook with this which am sure was to disgrace me. I only advised friends who contacted me to ignore him.

One may wonder what will such a man still have to claim after all he and his parents did? Yes he claimed a lot of lies such as...we were in our matrimonial home and he went to work on this fateful day and by the time he return I had escaped the house(All who followed my story knows I was in his parents house while he was in Dubai until 2015 when he visited and beat me to pulp in 8months old pregnancy and left in march 2015 back to Dubai). That I attempted abortions severally. That I did patronized herbalist and confessed to him. That I labored our first child for hours and ended up with CS...These and many more.

Well, the annoying part is that this guy went to court and have them issued a court proceeding to my Aunt whose house the traditional (in our absent) was done in 2014 stating that was the address they know me to be residing. Well, I had to get all hands on desk as I wish to have my Aunt and her family out of all this mess. He is requesting divorce and custody of our baby. Since May 2015 when I left up to this moment,the only support he give was 40k which he send 20k each for September/October 2015 and has not given any support to the growth and welfare of the child aside that up till now. It has been me alone. Now he wants custody of a 2+ year old child he knows nothing about.

I have been talking to a Lawyer whom I want to take up the case. This is my story people. We all fall in love at one point in our lives, and this is what i got from the one man i ever loved , this is where my feelings has led me. The heart of man is desperately wicked as the Bible says. I am 1001% not guilty of his false and lying accusations, I know God is by my side and I will grow this child to be the a better woman and a loving human.