1234IKECHhukwu:
who do u think u re 4 u to call some one who earns a descent pay from his daily hussle a low life.

Well, the person concerned gets my point.

finally am now a Nairalander, guys welcome me wit love

Young03:
Let by-gone be by-gone



let it be ur secret..... God will be d one to judge u

Not that easy.... her conscience 'll be the first to judge her -- before God does. And that may come with lots of mental nd health complications. A health life is not complete without a healthy conscience....

YelloweWest:

Really??
Be honest.
Talk true make devil shame...

Even if ur statement is true, do u know any other?

The fact remains that almost all Nigerian men will cheat at some point.

Your dad might be amongst the extremely rear 2% at best.

and what about your dad, did he cheat on your mum? What about that of your cousins, relative and others, do they cheat on their wives?

Society has its way of celebrating that which is bad and ignoring that which is good. That's why you think most married men cheat.

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

I don't know what to say about the native doctor ish... But if he regards your pastor, get your pastor to tell him.

istoctober:


l lost my three months preggy cos of my depreesion in Jan, 2016. Ever since, l have not been myself. l keep seeing myself as not worth living.
Each time l look at him, l have this guilty conscience that l have disappointed God and my parents. I cry in my lonely hours and it has made me to stay calm even in my right at home, l felt that l deserve everything that is happening to me.

God doesn't use the tools of the devil to correct anyone, you already feel guilty as you can be, work on yourself and don't tell him shit

I'm really scared, is like its better to be alone, that's why baby mamas n papaz are all over the place, which kind thing be this, forget all the long sermon most married ppl here are scared too n having doubts, so many untold secrets. I tire

istoctober:


l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

What right does your pastor have to assure you that you may not confess after betraying a sworn marital oath? Is he your God? Is he your husband whose trust you betrayed? Had you contracted STI, would he be the one to innocently suffer for it? You had better ignored that CLOWN you call your Pastor nd do the right thing - for the sake of your psychological wellbeing...

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

My sister, pls be wise. Dont tell him. Just make sure it doesnt happen again.
What the EAR does not hear does not trouble the h-EAR-t.

Praktikals:

My sister, pls be wise. I can guarantee it that you will regret it if he knows. Pls dont tell him. Just make sure it doesnt happen again.

Not telling him doesn't guarantee that he won't know when the time comes. Gossips fly more switfly than wind.

One scenario will just pop up and the husband would have a confrontation with the said man she cheated on him with, and the pastor will say " see this man wey I don furk him wife self dey get mouth talk to me".
Kai! BOMBSHELL

Why not take time to write him a letter detailing everything. The time, the circumstances that led to the act, the years of remorse and feeling of guilt you have carried along with you. Especially how sorry and ashamed you are that you have failed him and your family. Pour out your heart and beg for forgiveness yet be ready to accept the cosequences because no one really knows how he may take it.
Why I am suggesting writing him a long letter is because you may not be afforded the time or tolerance to explain yourself if you chose an oral confession, he may just throw you out within 30 seconds without wanting to listen to anything else you want to say, but with a letter, he will have something to go back to and re-read to try to understand the many questions that will certainly rage within him. This will be very painful for him, no doubt about that.
Writing down the whole story may also serve as some sort of healing and relief for you too even before sending him the letter.
Lastly, be prepared for the worst, make sure you have some money to take care of yourself should you find yourself thrown out, prepare yourself emotionally too to brave the consequences. Cheating in marriage is very hurtful to the cheated partner and to some extent even the cheating partner gets hit emotionally too as in your case. Based on your confessions here, I'm certain you won't attempt that again, I hope your husband sees it that way too.
Finally, finally, suicide is never ever the solution but it wouldn't hurt to mention you have thought about it in your letter so he will know to what extent you regret your mistakes.
Good luck and may God save your marriage.

Davindal:
Madam you are very stupid and evil to have cheated on your husband. What the Bleep are you telling us? Listen and listen good, you adulterous woman; of you don't confess to your husband, God will punish you Idiot to death.

Madam...See, I reject your type as my future wife...God forbid! God knows, that I have vowed to be 100% faithful to any woman that I finally Settle down with in marriage.

Paradventure my future wife cheats on me, God forbid oo, I will have no option than to spray and riddle her body with hot bullets. Yes, I will kill her, for she has sinned against me and God.

Let me state it again, I hate evil, and wouldn't want evil to be meted out to me. Once I become married, I promised God that I would never look at any other woman other than my wife. When I go on business trip, I shall go on maximum trust that my wife would never cheat on me in my absence, and I shall give her my very sincere assurance and confidence that am not gonna cheat on her, no matter the circumstance. I shall, let her know in all honesty that whenever I emback on any trip, be it biz tour, Church Programm, military oriented tour, etc, that it is 100% concentration on what I am traveling for.
Even now that I am single, though, I keep female friends biz each time I try meeting other girls aside my Main girl, I find it difficult being in their company. I Do feel deep sense of guilt, that I often regret ever stepping out with any other girl, because when I love it is 100%. If my love, a 19yr old, decides to cheat on me, good. I won't touch her, because I have yet to marry her. But once, I get married to her, and start getting information that she cheats on me; I wouldn't react. I would just have to hold my Chills till I confirm and catch her red-Händed in the act..., and once my type do...y'all know what? She will have to pay wiff her life...simple.

Guys Don't get me wrong. I am calm, and reserved but not foolish. I am very hot-tempered(ill-tempered). I love instant Justice, hence dont hasitate to serving it instanta to err-pins.

I am a 25 yr old man, and my girl is already aware of my attributes. I told her that once we are married, it gonna be strictly on both of us, and no one else, that then should she do anyhow(cheat), am no gonna hasitate in taking her out, including the idiat that gonna be with her on that, God forbid, ill-fated day, because in my own path, I shall be a faithful and loving husband that surd gonna be the envy of other ladies. I made her understand that she is free to go her separate now, If she knows that she no gonna play by marital rules when the time comes, but she obliged and promised that such will never happen. Now we are good to go in highest 2yrs time from now.

As for you Madam...go and die, you slut. #NONSENSE!!!

Haba left...loading

[quote author=istoctober post=57152113]

l have asked a pastor and he said l shouldn't confess but am worried cos he told me on Sunday that his uncle who is a native doctor will know if l am cheating on him.

I see now that the fear of that native doc uncle pushed you to that present agitation in your mind. Husband suspects you seriously. Am sure he has got wind of your infidelity. That pastor you confided in is not helping issue. I know you can't even make a meaningful prayer to God right now by the state of your mind. However, still try to have a heart to heart talk with your Father in heaven. Simply unload this burden of mess before Him. He alone knows how to clean up the mess. He alone knows how to flood your heart and soul with the peace you desire. He alone knows how to 'captire the heart of your husband and readjust if to forgive.Remember how God dealt with the heart of Esau who came out with 400 men to deal with his brother Jacob? Jacob feared and took That burden to God. God intervened promptly. That account is somewhere in Book of Genesis. God has not changed sister.

Start checking His phone till you find evidence he also stayed
Most men do
You might feel better if you find,
and can be a good bar bargaining Chip

gbosaa:

Has your moniker got any thing to do with the date of the 'rendezvous'??
Yes? I can imagine your pastor cumming and yelling on that Independence Day..."this is for Nigeria! then he'd erupt and draw a coat of arm around your lokoja.

You, sir, are evil...

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Even God said I am a jealous God I tolerate no rival, do not worship any God except me Exodus 34:14, if this should be in the ten commandments we sing at sunday school , problem go dey if we flownt it, just trying to say men are very jealous and can't stand another man strafing their wife make him hear am the house will collapse , God no hide am say him jealous oo Sooo don't tell him

akpamuomenka:



He that breaks the hedge, the serpent will bite. You have defied your matrimonial BED and you stands in judgement hence all these are happening to you. Your conscience which is the spirit of God in a human has started judging you so is nature also judging you. Though hand joins to hand the wicked shall not go unpunished.

Your genuine repentance and confession is the only thing that will give you peace of mind.

people like you do worse things on a daily basis without blinking d eyes. She is remorseful and if she does not repeat it again, its ok. The daughter of a pastor i know recently got preggy for someone they engaged to do some minor repairs in the house. before u could say jack, dem don comot am. If na church member comit abortion, na d whole bible dem go they quote.

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

I will advise you to forgive yourself because God has forgiven you since you confess. 1John 1:9.

Don't entertain guilt whenever it comes. If the devil reminds you that you have not been forgiven, refer him/her to 1John 1:9 and if the devil has problem with that he should sort it out with your advocate, Jesus Christ because you didn't right the Bible. Yours is just to believe it. 1John 2:1.

I do not consider your husband to be matured enough in Christianity to handle this issue, hence I will advise you not to inform him until you see him accepting Jesus teaching on forgiveness. His boasting of his uncle/brother who is an herbalist points to this!

On the issue of your miscarriage; what I see is devil playing on your ignorance to torment you.

Empower yourself with God's words and enjoy the forgiveness that comes to you from your Lord and personal saviour, Jesus Christ.

Please be happy and continue to enjoy the goodness of God with your husband and your entire family.

I hope you could read up to this page!

istoctober:
l had to open this account to tell this story and l know that l will be bashed for this but l really need to get it off my chest.
it was in 2014, that l cheated on him and since then, l have not been myself. l have confessed to Pastors but l can't forget it and my mind keep telling me that God has forgotten about me cos whenever l pray, l find it difficult to concentrate and that's why l want to confess to him.
l know he will send me packing because he said something like that to me and the fear is what is keeping me from confessing to him. l don't want to be disgraced out of my home cos my husband will definitely do it.
l can't blame him for my shortcomings but myself for allowing devil into my home.
l really need your advice for help.... You can curse me but l deserve it for being a loose woman but l seriously need help cos depression wants to take over my life that l think of suicide to escape shame and mockery from people in case he finds out.

Please madam, do not confess to him. Just forgive yourself (this might take time but you'll heal in the end) and never repeat what you did ever again. Why are women always on the tense side....I bet you can't swear that your hubby has not tasted any other kpekus except yours since you both got married. Please forgive yourself and be free....stop putting yourself in a tight corner for something that happened 3 years ago...haba...babe relax joor...but never repeat cos you'll loose your self confidence... Avoid all guys that make you vulnerable to cheat on him. Enjoy your marriage.
Remember John 8:5-6...Jesus said 'let him who is without sin cast the first stone'....and everyone walked away one by one...cos we all have our dark sides...we are all human.

judgedredd22:




i love this your answer....

so, you say you like cassava ehn kwa, ...i get big cassava!

Hmmmmmmm
So you sabi do the thing

madam, I am a married man and I'll be brief and truthful to you.
Don't listen to all these trash about confessing to him so you'll be at peace. If my wife ever confesses such trash to me she'll pack and that's the end of the marriage. move on with your life abeg. time will heal every wound but save your marriage; don't go shattering the poor man's peace with such news. It's two years already since you committed the act and you want to start exhuming things that should be left buried. abeg get on with your life. poo happens some times.

When the devil couldn't get you to cheat more he decided to use the angle of guilt.To you its right then he sells you depression.
Pray more I suggest and be glad you confessed to someone who is wise and prayed with you,move on dear. Aside cheating there are things everyone does once in a while even when you look back you seem selfish. Don't dwell in that guilt and move on.Live this life and bless God your mistakes didn't consume you.That is more important.
Stay happy dear because even if you confess there is no guarantee you find peace. This is what the devil wants you to do,to stay miserable

H

If telling him will ruin your marriage. ...u better keep mute and try to show him more love than before. ..my opinion

xtraordinariguy:
Divorce and breakup is not the will of God for marriages,your heart is broken and u are remorseful,old things are passed away behold all things hav become new psalm 32 vs 5 says it all face the situation with boldness God would surely restore all he would guide you through this storm candidly I would advice not to tell him ,it would cause you so much physical and emotional pain and shame .dont ever do it again .show him more love than you hav ever done ..my 2cents. I would be there incase u need to talk 08136238324

xtraordinariguy; you are the type that caused this problem, you want to chop from her too....abi...

Poster; Please shear more details to help our married sister's avoid this pastor/worshipper relationship.

i know the babalawo is giving u nightmare since 2014 after your husband reminded you on Sunday you ran to Nairaland.

Please confess to God and repent genuinely and dont tell him cos he will divorce you.

you still have the efontry to go to another pastor to confess to him...for God sake...these people are all human and majority take advantage of gullible worshippers.

Good luck.

I fear human beings ooo

Most men are advising her not to confess. The ladies also...

This world is really a strange world.

If you don't confess, your conscience will graduate from eating you up to becoming hardened which might turn you into a pro

And you may eventually lose the man you're trying to save for yourself once he finds out from another or in any other way asides you.

If you're not healed on the inside then you can't heal your relationship, so heal yourself first and you will sort the rest later.

The only way to get your pride and dignity back is by confessing to your husband, in that way, you can walk shoulders high against any blackmailers tomorrow. After confessing you look for ways to getting the complete attention of your man back to you again.
Getting his heart towards you again is highly possible because you aren't the first adulteress but that becomes so easy when you've shown signs of dignity and trustworthiness.

Besides, as a Christian, you should be transparent to your spouse, this reduces every future consequences easily and brings solutions faster. Go through the little consequences with a pure heart and that purity will fight for you.

Luvdk:
Hmmmmmmm
So you sabi do the thing

mmhhhh..... my name na sabinus o!

guaranteed to make you scream with joy with every stroke!

YelloweWest:

She can forgive herself without letting her husband know...
What of the have kids?
Think of the marriage...

I know it's self-catering but u must look at the wider picture

You've said the exact thing I did...it's up to her to attain a forgiven state but which marriage are you talking about Please revisit your comment, the wider picture here is that she's living a lie of a life by hiding the truth from her husband, she would only end up telling and living more lies the longer she keeps it. Like she said, her hubby is already acting funny like he knows something was up and I'm very sure she can't come here to say he never questioned her fidelity before now, which I'm sure she would have lied in response. She bleeped it up already, now is her chance to make it better. Even if there are kids, it's a better to make right her path in her husbands house now and salvage whatever is left..the hubby here is human..,he'll be mad, VERY MAD but she just have to make it right now else she will still commit...

You're here talking about a marriage of which she broke the sacred rule, she should be ready to face the consequences and not damn it as most are suggesting.


What matters most is her peace of mind which apparently is missing in her life and not a matrimony. She could remain in his house and still someday take the easy way out (Lagoon) because she's No Longer At Ease but I say to her Weep Not Child!!! Your salvation is in your mouth.....open it, speak life into your marriage!!!


Shalom

bennyann:
I fear human beings ooo

Most men are advising her not to confess. The ladies also...

This world is really a strange world.

If you don't confess, your conscience will graduate from eating you up to becoming hardened which might turn you into a pro

And you may eventually lose the man you're trying to save for yourself once he finds out from another or in any other way asides you.

If you're not healed on the inside then you can't heal your relationship, so heal yourself first and you will sort the rest later.

The only way to get your pride and dignity back is by confessing to your husband, in that way, you can walk shoulders high against any blackmailers tomorrow. After confessing you look for ways to getting the complete attention of your man back to you again.
Getting his heart towards you again is highly possible because you aren't the first adulterer but that becomes so easy when you've shown signs of dignity and trustworthiness.

Besides, as a Christian, you should be transparent to your spouse, this reduces every future consequences easily and brings solutions faster. Go through the little consequences with a pure heart and that purity will fight for you.

Abeg help me tell her for language wey she go hear

@ istoctober
Of what use will your confession to him be? You have done something that is wrong and you have realized you did wrong and promised never to go back to it again, besides you have asked God for forgiveness with sincerity. Woman that is what is called confession!
Love your husband, show him care, do things you will ordinary not do that will make him happy and strengthen the love between you and your husband.
Telling him you cheated on him will draw humiliation to you, your family and friends. And Drawing humiliation to your family and other relatives I think is worst than the unstable consciousness you are feeling about your self.
May God help you

Never Confess!


That man will never forgive u! He will only act up like he has forgiven you.

"He will Never forgive you"