I created this account ID because I need to share this. I am not seeking advise but I hope many can learn from my foolishness and cowardice. This is a long story so please bear with me, i dont even know why i am posting here but i need to get this out there.

Ok, im going to go back to 2014.

I met someone via online dating in November and thought that she was the one for me. lets call her X for ease. We embarked on a journey and entered into a relationship. In just a few short months we ran into problems and decided to take some time out. To me this felt more like a break-up, i was upset. Anyway this break lasted about six months.

shortly into this break (mere weeks) i met someone else, i wasnt head over heals with this new girl, lets call her Y but she offered an emotioonal and physical outlet after the break, she quickly helped me begin to heal from X.

After about three months X and i began to talk again, we talked about the relationship we had and what went wrong. It became apparent that we had feelings for each other and we decided that we should take things slowly. Straight away, i told Y that i still had feelings for X and we were looking to reconcile.

Now, Y wasnt particularly happy about this but she stayed around. even after X and I became a couple again, she stayed around believing that things would fall apart and that her and i were meant to be. I accepted this but i did say to Y that as soon as X and i became intimate then she would have to go.

Eventually, around October 2015 this happened, I told Y that we had to end it, she fought hard and i pushed her away. now, Y took this badly, constantly harrassing me with emotional blackmail, i was her best friend and she coouldnt live without me etc. I crumbled and Y became a part of my life again - initially as a friend but that developed into a FWB type of thing. the intimate oppertunities between X and i were few and far between (twice between oct-jan).

Fast forward to Janurary, things became difficult between X and myself, eventually this led to a conversation via email which essentially showed how incompatable we were. we put things on hold in the way of having remaining to be a couple but we talked to see if we could make any headway.
During this time Y remained in my life, knowing everything - i even turned to her for advice on messaged id received from X and so on.

Feburary comes, I am visiting Y and i get some messages from X (she didnt know of Y at the time). I confided in Y, as a friend as the messages were doing my head in.

Now it gets complicated...

Y, decided, in a drunken state to message X and say something similar to "leave him alone, hes mine and i love him" after a brief exchange, X realised who she was refering to.

this of course split X and myself up for a second time, in a nutshell, Y got what she wanted.

a month or so passes and X comes back on the secene. we talked and i explained who Y was. i wasnt truthful, i told her that after Y's antics i was having nothing more to do with her. X and I chatted and met a few times, slowly talking of a possible very slow reconcilliaton but we were more like friends.

during this period, i knew that i did NOT want to be with Y. trying to tell her was difficult, after cutting her off she would play on me emotionally, sometimes indicating potential suicide. I was weak more times than i can imagine over the past 18 months. It has been a continious yo-yo of push away, give in, make out, push away.

Knowing i didnt want Y, i told her that i was still seeing X in the hope she would just get bored.....

This is where, just over a year ago Z comes into the picture. Z, i can honestly say has been the love of my life but here we have a problem...

X,Y and now Z ----- what a mess!

I continued to chat to X, and met for lunch a couple of times, not ever getting overly close, but i think the impression to her was that we were in a very young, slow relationship

Y, was still resisting being pushed away and i was weak.

Z, at the time knew nothing of this. Z did ask if i was talking to X, i replied with "no".

the relationship between Z and i grew at an alarming rate, and i loved everything about us, as did she, it was clear to everyone we adored each other - but i had this horror story going on in the background.

It is entirely my fault, i couldve simply told X i had moved on but i didnt, at this point i believed her and i were platonic friends.

Y was more difficult , she was like a weight hanging around my neck but i didnt want her, yet i was still sleeping with her.

This continued for about a month after meeting Z. when i realised it was Z i wanted to be with i told Y and pushed her away.
Some weeks later, Y managed to pull up the facebook details of Z and messaged me. i got a message something like "this is HER isnt it!!"

This message brought on sheer panic, how she found out ive no idea, i thought i had removed all contacts who knew her from my facebook but someone mustve sent her the details.
I fell for it!! i folded to Y's game, i contacted her and entered into dialogue. this took me back to square one with Y.

this goes on, the cycle repeats, push away, give in and on a few occations sex.
This time though, i felt blackmailed, after knowing what she did between X and myself (breaking us up) i was terrified she would do the same between Z and myself, i tried to appease her.

All behind poor Z's back

Fast forward to Feb this year. I had moved and had pushed away Y, feeling more comfortable as Y did not know where i lived... wrong!

In feb, i began getting messages from Y, things like "im here, come and meet me" i recognised where "here was" as she sent a picture..... i was with Z at the time and trying to hide all of this.

I never met with Y, but it was at this point i decided i had to tell Z of Y.

I didnt go into the juicy details, i simply said that i have "a stalker", "i spent a few weeks with her before meeting you" and so on.

Z's reply was "ok, thank you for telling me, are you still talking to her?" my reply...

"No"

This was not true... i was still talking to her, i was doing so to try and keep her from interfering with the relationship Z and i had built.

she asked a couple of times since then, each time because she had seen something on my phone when i was flicking through it, a chat window for example. Each time i said "no" quickly changing the subject.

Ok, so lets get to a little over a month ago, I had pushed Y away and hadnt responded to her for around 3 weeks.

then it happened..

Y reveals herself.

but not only to Z but also to X too!

X thinks she is in a fledgling relationship
Z is deeply in love with me
Y is a lunatic stalker who could never give me up.


So, all three compare notes, Z is devastated, not talking to me for around a week.
I finally get the oppertunity to meet with Z for a couple of hours. Able to talk to her and immediately discredit X's claim.
Showing Y as exactly who she is and how she has behaved.

This settled Z a little, to the point we were talking. I convinced her that everything was not as she was told, despite not telling her the whole "nitty-gritty" of my dealings with Y.

the problem is now, ive broken her trust, despite wanting to be with me, she has concluded that she doesnt ever see herself being able to trust me nad as such she has given up on any possibility of reconcilliation.

Ive pleaded with her and suggested a number of strategies that we can use so she can try to learn to trust me again, things like tracking software on my mobile and so on.

Z isnt having it, She isnt too worried about what she was told by either X or Y, what she is bothered about is that i deceived her.

she finally cut all contact a week ago and i am at a loss of what i can do to convince her that, now everything is out there in teh open, there are no more secrets that i am hiding, we can have a fresh start and have a life even better than the last "amazing" (her words). Z has said we had a great year a number of times over the last month (when she would talk to me) but in the next breath she says that she cant help but think it was all a sham.

So, ive messed up the best thing that had ever happened to me, all because i didnt have the bravery to push my past in the past.

Theres no contact now at all. anyone that knows us as a couple know how happy we were together, some believe that we will get back together and that Z doesnt "want" to split up but believe that Z feels that she has no choice but to. Z as said that she has forgiven me and that she feels better since we have spoken about thinigs but she thinks that i am still lying to myself. I am not but because i give reasons for my actions (protecting us from Y and platonic friends with X) i am just coming up with excuses.

Z had, in the past massive trust issues, it took her years to begin dating after being let down by her ex and ive just put her back all those years. I hate myself right now.

I know, given the chance NOTHING like this would happen again, ive told her as much but its clear that she doesnt believe me, after all why would she? ive lied to her this whole year!!

There is noone to blame for this mess except for me, i take full responsibility for loosing the most precious, wonderful person im my life.

Gutted, Only time will tell now but i dont see any way back, especially as there is ZERO contact.

Ah ahn sir did I come here to read story ABI to solve mathematics

Oga easy abeg ya story is too mush

Please what's the answer to the X Y Z rubbish. Are we solving maths or providing solution to your problem?.

na novel?? My guy shorten this thing.

Op, you put yourself in the mess... Just give her little time to heal

Bibi294:
Op, you put yourself in the mess... Just give her little time to heal

Just trying that but its not easy one bit. She told me she needs space so I am doing my best to give her just that. Just scared I may end up without her but its my fault and my mess

dilemaguy:


Just trying that but its not easy one bit. She told me she needs space so I am doing my best to give her just that. Just scared I may end up without her but its my fault and my mess

Bro, from the little knowledge I've gathered about relationship, "love shacks at the beginning of every relationships... Take your time about the three ladies... I would have preferred the first girl buh you're the one involved, choose and choose wisely... A failed relationship is better than a failed marriage

Its always good to visit the past most especially when u wanna move on. Not visiting the past Can sometimes bring a huge loss in the future should u decide to hld on and cover it up with lies.
One thing I have come to realize over the past few years is that : the truth is bitter when said but the good thing about it is that u have gotten rid of a future potential disaster that could be irredeemable. Say the truth and face the consequences or avoid it and live in fear/guilt all through ur life.
Lastly, you are now on a clean slate, should Z come back to you, then she is yours.

Them send Y from your village

The moment you started with X I knew it'll get to Z.

Your love life is more complex than trying to negotiate peace in the Middle East.
You need to set all these women free and work on your emotional maturity and you need to do that alone not bed hopping. There is no sense in seeking gratification in vulnerable women because all you have done is added to their insecurities by being "That guy".

Op... Use simulteanous equation ... Find the values in x y and z... Then you will know which 1 to choose... Could of read the story though... Too boring from the onset

Oga....i feel for you, but you too like hole and that's what nailed you. free things can come at the expense of your life at times.....take heart bro. Keep in contact with Z and try to let her know you are done finally with your past.

This your story sweet Sha...

Oshe! Baddest..

You just dey divide X and Multiply Y come dey differentiate Z.

Tuale for you.

Mtcheeeeeeeew... This op is d reason y girls don't trust boys. Sloppy weak minded player. We can't eat our cake and still have it. Good for u

It's only Yoruba boys that can tell this kind of story. Surprised he spoke good English unlike other Yoruba demons on NL

XYZ = HIV

eyinjuege:
XYZ = HIV

Solved

It is sick you are not ashamed of yourself n story. If I would advice you erase the memory of x y z n start with a ensuring that a b never comes into the picture. That way you'd be building from scratch, it is the best way to x build love n trust chikena.

Dude Z is right, you're lying to yourself. YOU WANTED THEM ALL. I'm a dude like you so I understand the feeling. And don't pretend you know what you want cos you don't. As for Y, she didn't put a gun to your head so don't you dare put the blame on her. You had a choice to say no but you carried along. The pvssy was so good you couldn't say no

Mah nigga

op ur mad, u want me to start solving algebra

Are we in maths class, telling us XYZ

Wicked boy
uselessing young girls life
repent oo or hell awaits u

All this cos of a relationship. XYZ

Please start afresh with A

Lol, she did well by leaving you. You may feel bitter now but you're still gonna go back to your exes, that is certain.

I salute her bravery sha.

dilemaguy:


Just trying that but its not easy one bit. She told me she needs space so I am doing my best to give her just that. Just scared I may end up without her but its my fault and my mess

Does Z's surname by any chance start with an A and end with 'Kalu'? I actually have someone close to me who matches the description of Z.

That being asked, I'll tell you the truth. You're an unstable-minded weakling incapable of protecting those close to him.

This your story hasn't ended, wait till they pour you acid. At least, we'll be able to put a 'face' behind the story.

Just when I thought I have graduated and parted ways with dy/dx

Op u're confused, wht did I say... Ehe good, u're. Confused. You think you can get the whole cookies... XYZ, u Neva wanted to leave any, always blaming X for stalking when u're naive. Anyway Stay away from Z if you hv any atom of care for her. And stay away from any sort of relationship for now and work on ur self 1st. U need to grow up in maturity b4 anoda relationship or else u're jst anoda time bomb waiting to explode nd taking innocent girls dwn wt u.

In a nutshell, you put X in a bracket, kept multiplying Y, scored an answer in Z till you found out the value of Y was incorrect in the first place.

You're messed up

Well there is an update....

I managed to get in touch with Z after some persistency. I showed her some messages from X which proved that we are indeed done. With regards to Y, I confessed that she is an albatross on my neck and cant seem to get her off. I however promised her that now that Y's blackmail has been exposed, I can shut the door on Y's face.

I didn't get any encouraging response from Z but I believe that she will think about it. I sensed she still have strong feelings for me. Despite the obvious disappointment because of my initial lies, she still seems to adore me.

I love her to a fault.