My former colleagues have taught me a bitter lesson about giving loans to people, never again! Even a neighbour recently came running to me that she needs to borrow 5k to go and see her sick dad in Ekiti. I jejely dashed her 2k and wished her journey mercies (though I didn't tell her not to bother to return the money, I wanted to see if she will return it as she claimed). It's been over a year now, na to greet and walk fast past me sure pass.

WiredLeggings:
Why does he think you've N500,000 to loan give him? If people believe you've money, like you've said, then you're the one giving them the impression that you do or that you're rich. As for this friend who has been asking for N500,000, tell him you don't have the money. But you yourself should change how your portray yourself to others: stop showing off or bragging, stop telling them about your finances.

Dont mind op, let him keep bragging to friends how rich he is.
Until someone close to him, organize armed robbers or even kidnappers, his eyes go clear like fire
And God help him, if no life is lost when they come knocking on his door.

From that moment onwards, he will always claim hes poor and broke at all times .

Rule of life and what keeps one safe: Never ever talk about how rich or how much u have in your bank accounts or at home.
Orelse tears will follow.

Op I hope u are not in nija?

helinues:
Seriously, i do not know may be their great great grandfather kept some money with me that made most of them to believe I have money. Fine things are going fine but I am still looking for more better life. Need to save a lot in order to achieve my dream.. A friend borrowed $400 like 2 years ago, he never even talked about it. I have dodged others but this particular person has been on my neck for months now. He needs N500,000 .. Just imagine..

My problem now is " Never lend money you can't afford to lose" . N500,000 no be wasa.. How should I handle the situation without hurting his feeling cos I am not even sure of lending N100,000 talkess of N500,000

Bros, do not even think about it. if u know what is good for u. friendship can enter gutter for all i care. me no send. one stopped talking to me when she couldn't get what she asked for.,..

helinues:
Seriously, i do not know may be their great great grandfather kept some money with me that made most of them to believe I have money. Fine things are going fine but I am still looking for more better life. Need to save a lot in order to achieve my dream.. A friend borrowed $400 like 2 years ago, he never even talked about it. I have dodged others but this particular person has been on my neck for months now. He needs N500,000 .. Just imagine..

My problem now is " Never lend money you can't afford to lose" . N500,000 no be wasa.. How should I handle the situation without hurting his feeling cos I am not even sure of lending N100,000 talkess of N500,000

bros u re not the only one, it happen to mi just tell them u too nid money to do somethings if dey can help you too n cum to think of it wot work do u do n re dey jobless people or wot

I have a couple of friends who can not talk to me about finances again simply because they're stil owing me many years down the line.

One borrowed an amount of money from me to execute a project that yielded results, after the project, I was there when he collected the cheque for the payment and was expecting alert

Up till today alert never enter
NO is a very good answer.

vivalavida:


Boss chic

Lol. Not quite there yet. My closest friend is a lawyer, it was no trouble at all.

Love is love, business is business. Lol.

Bros just dash him 5% of the requested amount then thank me later

Please dont give it to him/her, because at the end of the day when they won't pay you back..it will haunt you, each time you see them you can't ask them and they will never bring it up and when you finally bring it up they will make it feel like you are embarrassing them.i borrowed a friend 210,000 to upgrade and fix his car.his first story was he was expecting his commission from a property he sold, later story changed to someone is holding a cheque of his, later story changed to sine goods he ordered spoilt in transit ...... Mhen the original story has transformed to series of stories, now when i dont respect him and most of all i have accepted that the money has gone, and he knew it was from my staff salary. So please dont even think of it talkless of do it.
Give him what you can give from your heart, if he accepts it to not you have satisfied your conscience and that's all that matters the most

Poverty can make so many people so effing heartless.

You may have all the money in this world but your poverty mentality will make you to be concentrating on scarcity rather than abundance.

Your friends needs the money.

You have the money.

You don't want to give him.

Why?

It's because you're wicked.

You will still spend almost that amount or even more on flimsy things like weed, parties, ho's etc

Why not get your friend to sign an IOU agreement or even offer him half of what he requested for if you are so afraid he might not repay instead of simply refusing to give him?

You think it's easy for a man to ask another man for money?

My guy, this life na turn by turn o!

Be warned.

Coldfeets:
Poverty can make so many people so effing heartless.

You may have all the money in this world but your poverty mentality will make you to be concentrating on scarcity rather than abundance.

Your friends needs the money.

You have the money.


You don't want to give him.

Why?

It's because you're wicked.

You will still spend almost that amount or even more on flimsy things like weed, parties, ho's etc

Why not get your friend to sign an IOU agreement or even offer him half of what he requested for if you are so afraid he might not repay instead of simply refusing to give him?

You think it's easy for a man to ask another man for money?

My guy, this life na turn by turn o!

Be warned.

Seems you haven't experienced backstabbing from your closest friends. All these stories just bring back memories.

Coldfeets:
Poverty can make so many people so effing heartless.

You may have all the money in this world but your poverty mentality will make you to be concentrating on scarcity rather than abundance.

Your friends needs the money.

You have the money.

You don't want to give him.

Why?

It's because you're wicked.

You will still spend almost that amount or even more on flimsy things like weed, parties, ho's etc

Why not get your friend to sign an IOU agreement or even offer him half of what he requested for if you are so afraid he might not repay instead of simply refusing to give him?

You think it's easy for a man to ask another man for money?

My guy, this life na turn by turn o!

Be warned.

OP, your friend is here

dominique:
My former colleagues have taught me a bitter lesson about giving loans to people, never again! Even a neighbour recently came running to me that she needs to borrow 5k to go and see her sick dad in Ekiti. I jejely dashed her 2k and wished her journey mercies (though I didn't tell her not to bother to return the money, I wanted to see if she will return it as she claimed). It's been over a year now, na to greet and walk fast past me sure pass.

Same here. I'm not giving anyone money unless they promise to pay back. I got bills to pay too

1. Tell 'em you ain't a bank
2. you have school fees on your neck for next session
3. all your money is tied up in investments
4. efcc placed 'no debit' order on your bank accounts

Hehehehe...na only people wey dey borrow money dey this thread . What of those wey dey do the borrowing, your opinions are needed

Just tell him you can't for now.

Omo! Going through everybody's posts here scared me.


I understand that almost everybody on here have been burnt all because they borrowed some certain friends money/loan. But should that now make one to turn blind/deaf to a friend who is seriously in need of money even when it is obvious and you have the money to spare?


There is this case i am dealing with right now. It is about a close friend whose father is lying critically ill in a private hospital. As the first born, he has exhausted all the savings he has on his father's illness. Just this Monday here, the landlord of the house they are living in changed the locks of the gate to the house, meaning himself and his family have no where to stay.

He came to me for financial assistance of certain amount, which i couldn't help him with because i don't have any means of providing help. Ever since that Monday till now i and this friend have been going around looking for people (friends and some other extended family relations) yet nobody was willing to give explaining how they helped someone who refused to pay back and all that stories as said by most people here. Sometimes i weep for this my friend. I share my food with him, i couldn't accomodate him because i don't have a room to myself.


Seeing this thread and the posts therein this night got me all the more worried.


What is the real meaning of ''love''?
Is love bias?
Or has the meaning of ''being your brother's keeper'' changed?

I have had several demoralizing experiences...
Oga....Say no to parasitic friends......
All I need in my life now is a business partner and not a Motherf***ing friend.

Real matter. Learned the hardway

i like the part where friends cant come back to borrow again.. .

LAFO:
I have a couple of friends who can not talk to me about finances again simply because they're stil owing me many years down the line.

One borrowed an amount of money from me to execute a project that yielded results, after the project, I was there when he collected the cheque for the payment and was expecting alert

Up till today alert never enter
NO is a very good answer.

helinues:


Show off? 100% No .

Maybe u were singing 30 billion for the akant

Oya loan me 100k

genghiskhan007:
1. Tell 'em you ain't a bank
2. you have school fees on your neck for next session
3. all your money is tied up in investments
4. efcc placed 'no debit' order on your bank accounts

Very smart.

Clap for yourself.

But don't forget that you yourself could be at the receiving end one day.

And probably, someone else will be telling you this same thing.

Like my Igbo brothers will say, when they are carrying another person's corpse; it appears to us who are not related to him like a log of wood.

EdDave:

Seems you haven't experienced backstabbing from your closest friends. All these stories just bring back memories.

Of course, I have.

And I have equally been in a position where I needed some financial help from people too.

Now I'm thinking, if everybody has got this wicked mentality of not wanting to help another person out of their financial difficulties, then we are so doomed.

It is so unfortunate that we have now found ourselves in a position where we value money more than friendship, more than love for our fellow humans... in fact, more than anything else in the world.

But then again, it is one of the clear signs we are living in the end times.

Ziinno:


Lol. Not quite there yet. My closest friend is a lawyer, it was no trouble at all.

Love is love, business is business. Lol.

I like your mentality

ladyF:
It's after you give out the loan that you'd realise how heartless your friend is.

I usually don't give out loans greater than what I can afford to lose but certain times, certain people appeal to your emotions and you break your own rules. The disappointment I'm facing from a very fresh experience has reset my mumu brain. Money that somebody is managing

Never again sha...

Awww so sorry ma, Oh Lawd...

Ziinno:
When asked for a loan which I cannot outrightly say no to, I take the person through a long and tiring process. Collateral, witness, signed papers...you'd give up on your own.

Heck, I love the boyfriend but I made him sign papers from my lawyers before I supported his 'dreams'.

You had no business supporting a "boyfriend's dreams" with cash. You really didn't.

Coldfeets:


Very smart.

Clap for yourself.

But don't forget that you yourself could be at the receiving end one day.

And probably, someone else will be telling you this same thing.

Like my Igbo brothers will say, when they are carrying another person's corpse; it appears to us who are not related to him like a log of wood.




Of course, I have.

And I have equally been in a position where I needed some financial help from people too.

Now I'm thinking, if everybody has got this wicked mentality of not wanting to help another person out of their financial difficulties, then we are so doomed.

It is so unfortunate that we have now found ourselves in a position where we value money more than friendship, more than love for our fellow humans... in fact, more than anything else in the world.

But then again, it is one of the clear signs we are living in the end times.

The world would be a much better place if people actually took responsibility for their spending. That means you take responsibility for yours and I for mine. If you needed a loan, there's a place called a bank. Maybe you never heard of it. But it's usually some big building with signs in front and an ATM probably on the corner where you can walk in and request a loan, complete with legal agreements.

No one should be a charity for you.

Coldfeets:
Poverty can make so many people so effing heartless.

You may have all the money in this world but your poverty mentality will make you to be concentrating on scarcity rather than abundance.

Your friends needs the money.

You have the money.

You don't want to give him.

Why?

It's because you're wicked.

You will still spend almost that amount or even more on flimsy things like weed, parties, ho's etc

Why not get your friend to sign an IOU agreement or even offer him half of what he requested for if you are so afraid he might not repay instead of simply refusing to give him?

You think it's easy for a man to ask another man for money?

My guy, this life na turn by turn o!

Be warned.

I don't get what your drama is about. Contrary to what you think, it's actually easy for a man to ask another man for money. Laziness isn't scarce. It's everywhere.

Have you wondered why the same persons are afraid to actually approach official lenders for money? Is it because they know they won't be able to pay back?

Don't put the blame on those who don't want to lend their friend money. It's their choice not to. Don't demonstrate such crass thinking. It's pathetic.

WiredLeggings:
Why does he think you've N500,000 to loan give him? If people believe you've money, like you've said, then you're the one giving them the impression that you do or that you're rich. As for this friend who has been asking for N500,000, tell him you don't have the money. But you yourself should change how your portray yourself to others: stop showing off or bragging, stop telling them about your finances.

Like won't one ride a car even if it's not Lexus, won't one rent house or go to shoprite.. Won't one give sadaqah and offering,

Nigerians have inner eyes.. I'll say.. Have you ever been met by beggars on the street especially those ones that will pray for you and your generations..

Even if you refuse to give they'll not mind to use juju or borrow from another person to get badoo guys to teach you a lesson

In This country and life.. We need prayers..
May God bless us

helinues:
Seriously, i do not know may be their great great grandfather kept some money with me that made most of them to believe I have money. Fine things are going fine but I am still looking for more better life. Need to save a lot in order to achieve my dream.. A friend borrowed $400 like 2 years ago, he never even talked about it. I have dodged others but this particular person has been on my neck for months now. He needs N500,000 .. Just imagine..

My problem now is " Never lend money you can't afford to lose" . N500,000 no be wasa.. How should I handle the situation without hurting his feeling cos I am not even sure of lending N100,000 talkess of N500,000

I have not read other responses but if he/she borrowed $400 and didn't talk about repayment for 2 years, I don't mind losing such a friend. I will surely remind him/her of the outstanding loan and let him/her know I can't afford what he/she is asking for.

PS - Don't follow my advice o. We have different circles of friends and we have different standards. I just said what I would do based on the standards I hold my friends up to.

Ezionye:
There must be reasons pple think you have money. maybe u "show off"

Anyways, let them know that you do not have to SPARE.

So if he has a car, he shouldn't drive it.

Or he shouldn't build a house if he has the means because someone is monitoring his progress.

Story for the Gods. This happens to people who want to live by other people's standards and approval..

There is no way to say you don't want to hurt his feelings. Just tell him to try a bank or still meet with your Lawyer to talk about the terms of the said loan. Try and play safe with your money

OpinionCounts:
Listen op, as I speak to you now I have over 2million naira unpaid debt owed by 6 different people, guess who the people are.....FRIENDS. Yes friends,the most annoying thing is dat they will even have the money and yet will not pay u back just because they feel you will not be hard on them especially some foolish and irresponsible ones that think they are entitled to get from you just because they can see you are doing well financially. I have debts of over 3years been owed me by friends and I am not talking about 50 or 90k, I mean 400k, 600k and so on..... I don't think it is a bad idea to help a friend in need but I tell you some can be devilish.

Why not arrest them with d police? So that they make a commitment on how to pay back with d police. Although when they pay, u lose 10 percent of your money to d police.

Otamio:
Why not arrest them with d police? So that they make a commitment on how to pay back with d police. Although when they pay, u lose 10 percent of your money to d police.

Honestly my brother, I can't do that and they know I can't. I have learnt my lessons though, I am too emotional when it comes to helping people and I will not stop but I am wiser now. My fault then was that I trusted people too much to be responsible, discipline and matured enough to do the right thing but that was a very big error. The truth is, I have long forgotten the debts but I will never give a kobo to those folks again. Its painful but thats life.