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She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? - Family (15) - Nairaland

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Man Stops Paying Daughter's School Fee After She Told Him To Wash Plates / My Past Holds A Very Dark Secret, Should I Tell Or Bury It? / Will You Still Marry A Man Whose Mother Hates You? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by saasala(m): 3:08pm On Jul 22, 2017
lovelygurl:


He is not better than her in any way. You think she has not heard of how he goes around scratching every hole like a garbage man. It's either she's scared of being dumped afterwards or doesn't want to have sex before marriage, after the stillbirth issue.

He only went on a revenge mission,though I am not in support of that. He went shopping for her relative after she turned him down.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Josephamstrong1(m): 3:10pm On Jul 22, 2017
Adighi ahapụ otele nyụrụ ahụ, avụọ isi ọkpọ...mbanu! You don't leave the anus that farted and then the head receives the knock...no naa!
You ain't the right person to judge her.
You ain't the right person for her.
You are yet to kw her. Marriage isn't birthday meet.
Let her find love elsewhere and you too. I fear you'll later in life or marriage use it against her. Posting it alone here shows how disturbed you've been. Can't stop till find love elsewhere. You ain't good either.
What if tmrw there is an ish of fruitlessness. Can both of you handle it?
Yours might be spiritual, hers might be your torment and ego on her.
Adighi acho ewu ojii n'abali. People do not hunt black goats at night Make hay while the sun shines.

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by itsinfochris(m): 3:10pm On Jul 22, 2017
thesicilian:
Its for you to decide.


Na Wa Ooo!! This Prost!tute Confesses To Killing 100 Men And Rendering 70 Impotent
http://www.cutechrisblog.com/2017/07/na-wa-ooo-this-prosttute-confesses-to.html
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by itsinfochris(m): 3:11pm On Jul 22, 2017
Na Wa Ooo!! This Prost!tute Confesses To Killing 100 Men And Rendering 70 Impotent
http://www.cutechrisblog.com/2017/07/na-wa-ooo-this-prosttute-confesses-to.html
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by realabraham: 3:15pm On Jul 22, 2017
[quote author=Nerdg post=58707491]

Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?[/quote

Guy your problem is just sex. Get it elsewhere, you do not love her. If she gives you without marriage, your kind of person will dump her, with all manner of lame excuses. You have aborted a baby. Only God knows how many. Free the girl joor.

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Kaybaba5(m): 3:17pm On Jul 22, 2017
madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

Seconded
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by fortunechy(m): 3:20pm On Jul 22, 2017
congrats......slay queen weds slay king
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by mrjojo: 3:23pm On Jul 22, 2017
freshvine:


Simple comprehension is elusive to you only to be passing sentimental judgement upadan.

The guy confusion is this : This same lady that has denied him SEX for like aeon, how come she has had multiple of sex partners and even pregnant to the point of giving birth?

Now that's the riddle in the confusion state of the Op. He's not passing judgement but apprehensive of the future. Is there ANYTHING he's lacking that made his woman sexual preference to other men. What are the likely consequences in a marriage state?

Learn to respond with open mind not bias indiscretion
1 billion likes, you smart girl

4 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Nwabundo38(f): 3:25pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

This is the reason girls hide things from men..
Imagine what this guy is asking
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by toogbasky(m): 3:25pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?



Any gurl who tells you her secret in dis generation full of liers and cheat,,,, marry her
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by jrusky(m): 3:26pm On Jul 22, 2017
Young man you are very funny you told her your own story and she told you her own story why do you now felt stunned? Since she can bear your dark story so also bear her ans I presumed she want to see how you will react too so be man having such dark side si not a crime its one of those in life and don't be selfish go ahead with her if truly love I expect you to thank God she did not tells you she has infected you with HIV or Syphilis and she can't conceive again or for her to tell you she was a prostitute what will you do?

I will suggest you go ahead with her everyone in life has one dark side one way or the other and that is the end of the world and that does not make her a bad girl in as far she no longer do such again or sleep around again.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Badgers14: 3:30pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nwabundo38:

So that is your problem??
What if she didn't feel like having sex with you..
OP u don't have a point..
How can someone who killed an innocent baby have the mind to judge someone else..
If she agreed to have sex with you in those days, she might be the one that aborted a baby for you because if she gets pregnant you won't be ready for the baby then

Women sef... It's quite interesting the sharp criticism abiet defense from women in this topic. Abeg ooo, this is not women league.

Back to the point, please try to read in between the lines and understand Op's concern.

He clearly stated his point of contention was the lady was sexually active but denied him sex. Why did she do that? Was it because he wasn't attractive? Was it because she didn't see any future in him?? Was is because she didn't love him?

I agree with Op 1000% , every reasonable person should ask him or herself that question.

Recall, both of them messed up in their different ways but the question here is not who's mistake was greater and i am not campaigning for premarital sex either.

I can understand if the girl was waiting until marriage but the fact that she closed her legs for the op amd opened her legs to other guys is a very big concern and I am still perplexed by that action.

3 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Kenontop: 3:32pm On Jul 22, 2017
guy for her to tell u the truth mean she dont want to hide anything. transparency in a marriage is very important and if u two can trust yourselves to open up, is a good thing. go ahead n marry her
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by creepsyme(f): 3:33pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Why would she reveal so much? Some ladies shaaaa.... Tinking the guy will love her for her sincerity. Olodo rapata...
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Badgers14: 3:34pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nwabundo38:

This is the reason girls hide things from men..
Imagine what this guy is asking

The guy is asking a reasonable question.

How would you feel if your guy says no to sex but goes about ynashing other babes? How would you feel if you ask him of money and he said no money but gives freely to other babes I am pretty sure if you find yourself in these situations ( I hope you don't), you will definitely ask questions and show concern.

Let's understand where the guy is coming from

3 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by achieversbizpro(m): 3:43pm On Jul 22, 2017
she might want to see what u will do
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Maduawuchukwu(m): 3:44pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


You're capturing the part you like. However, I wish you can understand the theme rather than a paragraph. Let me help, we had many break-ups only because I tried to have sex with her. Meanwhile she's already sexually active. That's the problem not the stillbirth

Bro I had to mention you so that you could read this. It is very likely that she has no iota of sexual attraction towards you. If she held back in the past because she was not sure of your feelings towards her your proposal to her and your financial commitment should show her that you are serious abt her but she still holds back. I think she takes you for granted, has no iota of respect for you and is not attracted to you but sees you as being useful. My good friend went through the same thing so I know how it is.

5 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by babadee1(m): 3:50pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

From your story it seems all this happened before you guys started dating officially. Most likely she wanted to change her lifestyle and turn over a new leaf after all the trauma.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by mapist(m): 3:57pm On Jul 22, 2017
delishpot:


I don't think he made mention of her cheating on him. Those happened before they met.

Yes, she dint but, he or she who cheats at any point lacks dignity. It's sth i never tolerate and i try to stay free of same.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by crownbayo(m): 4:00pm On Jul 22, 2017
just go deeper to her family and take heed and take patient, forget about marriage or love for now, u ll know whether she's pretending or testing u. even u ll know were u are going
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by drnoel: 4:02pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?


What's dark about that?
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by amakadihot87(f): 4:05pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?
.......a bad experience will be the case
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by diva90: 4:06pm On Jul 22, 2017
I would not judge her based on that. After all, these things happened prior to your current relationship with her. Would you rather have a lady who has done worse and never opened up to you?
A stillbirth can happen to anyone. It's not an abortion. Getting pregnant was a mistake I'm sure. Let bygone be bygone.
If you love her, nothing should distract your plans to want to consummate your union.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by seguno2: 4:12pm On Jul 22, 2017
zed7:
Then marry her. Would you prefer to hear this news after marriage? Things happen, move on.

Why was she denying him something that she was giving yanfunyanfun to every Tom.Dick&Harry?
Can you please explain.
Thanks
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by oshaosha2014(m): 4:14pm On Jul 22, 2017
man, its unfair.

imustsaymymindo:


No kill me with laugh abeg. At the end of the day, na one nice guy go get the demented hole. Funny how life works, forgiveness is truly for the strong.

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Softhands(m): 4:16pm On Jul 22, 2017
What you should prioritize is PEACE OF MIND... If the girl gives you peace of mind and is supportive, she is not lazy nor lack good manners and good personality, My guy You have a Wife in your hand o... Don't judge her by her past... She has struggled to finally tell you her past... Don't disappoint her and make her regret it... In fact she will love you more and can do anything for you knowing that you did not judge her past and are still willing to stick with her and marry her. Let me even shock you, Do you know that the Great Great Great grand Mother of our Lord Jesus Christ, Rehab who married Boaz was a Harlot? as in Ashawo!!! But God Did not look at that Yet honored her by drafting her into the royal bloodline and by extension, the Mother of Jesus... So You see, it goes beyond marrying a lady becos of a tight Pvvsy or physical appearance... I'm not saying any lady who has had a rough past is a good wife material o (Na Oju kokoro dey worry some)...What I am simply telling you is that If she has forgotten the past and forgiven herself and lives a clean life, don't make the mistake of not marrying her ... cos another man that values her will marry her. Peace
Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

1 Like

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by DazzlingAngel: 4:17pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?
i think she refused u sex becos she is scared well according to u, u new her from Ur teenage age, and probably after gaining admission she felt she can try a relationship it happen u were not close to her, mind u a still birth not an abortion (TOP), she was courageous enough to keep the pregnancy . If u truly love her that shouldn't be a problem .
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by delishpot: 4:18pm On Jul 22, 2017
mapist:


Yes, she dint but, he or she who cheats at any point lacks dignity. It's sth i never tolerate and i try to stay free of same.

Yeah one man's meat bro. You have a right to your opinion.
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by delishpot: 4:19pm On Jul 22, 2017
Nerdg:


I don't think she's trying to test me



My worry is why she had always refused me sex whereas she's this exposed. Could it be because of this she accepted my proposal?

Having sex once could lead to pregnancy. Pregnancy doesn't dictate how exposed one is se.xually. You that is talking, have you not given a woman bele? Are you judging her by your own experience?
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by moneyhungry(m): 4:22pm On Jul 22, 2017
I deeply suspect that the lady's womb is not even intact lol. more 'secrets' to come...
Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by Dcholeric: 4:22pm On Jul 22, 2017
I swear so many women here are dullards ...

2 Likes

Re: She Told Me A Very Dark Secret, Should I Still Marry Her? by moneyhungry(m): 4:24pm On Jul 22, 2017
Softhands:
What you should prioritize is PEACE OF MIND... If the girl gives you peace of mind and is supportive, she is not lazy nor lack good manners and good personality, My guy You have a Wife in your hand o... Don't judge her by her past... She has struggled to finally tell you her past... Don't disappoint her and make her regret it... In fact she will love you more and can do anything for you knowing that you did not judge her past and are still willing to stick with her and marry her. Let me even shock you, Do you know that the Great Great Great grand Mother of our Lord Jesus Christ, Rehab who married Boaz was a Harlot? as in Ashawo!!! But God Did not look at that Yet honored her... I'm not saying any lady who has had a rough past is a good wife material o (Na Oju kokoro dey worry some)...What I am simply telling you is that If she has forgotten the past and forgiven herself and lives a clean life, don't make the mistake of not marrying her o ... cos another man that values her will marry her. Peace
absolute hogwash.

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