Who Would You Rather Deal With? A Simple Approachable Lady or a Hard to Get

Ladies think playing hard to get makes them have some respect when it comes to men. True talk but relative. Same goes to the men: they treasure what they battled to get. This too true, but very relative.

For instance some ladies think it's always better to play hard to get but eventually the man gives up after trying the first time, the ladies finally loose the guys they really like to date. Then they respond by saying well "he doesn't deserve me if he can't try harder".

Meanwhile men also think "what if I talk to her and she embarrasses me? afterall she is putting up a firm face." And they end up not uttering a word, then they loose a precious love.

I hate it when ladies play hard to get because:
1) At the end of the day, after finally 'getting' her, I might discover that she's not my type. In that case the 'hard to get' game would merely have been a waste of my time (and hers too).
2) The 'hard to get' game is a game of deception, so a lady that plays hard to get is a 'playa' of sorts. If she is already playing me so early into our acquaintanceship, how do I know that she won't be playing me for the rest of my life if I go ahead and have a relationship with her leading to marriage? How do I know that she won't also play the cheating game on me?

So I like approachable ladies, and I am bitterly opposed to the idea of young women playing hard-to-get. It doesn't help anybody because you end up with the most desperate man and not necessarily the one that is right for you.

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Seun:

I hate it when ladies play hard to get because:
1) At the end of the day, after finally 'getting' her, I might discover that she's not my type. In that case the 'hard to get' game would merely have been a waste of my time (and hers too).
2) The 'hard to get' game is a game of deception, so a lady that plays hard to get is a 'playa' of sorts. If she is already playing me so early into our acquaintanceship, how do I know that she won't be playing me for the rest of my life if I go ahead and have a relationship with her leading to marriage? How do I know that she won't also play the cheating game on me?

So I like approachable ladies, and I am bitterly opposed to the idea of young women playing hard-to-get. It doesn't help anybody because you end up with the most desperate man and not necessarily the one that is right for you.

Seun this is true but you know some men treasure better what they have worked hard to earn, besides the ladies will have their general profile uplifted and be more respected if they are not easily....... you know.

NOTE: can you please change the topic category and send it to "romance"? It seem thats where it should be

Thank God! the dark days of playing hard-to-get by ladies is over....atleast here in Nigeria.
Any girl who is still practicing that kind of non-sense is still dumb!

Right from the start, i hated it when i talk to a girl and she just walks on like... anyway, it's all over! It's our turn now...

So my guy, next time you see a lady you are interested in just flick your fingers and she'll be allover you.

It's not good for a girl to be too cheap and at the same time, it's not good to be too "hard-to-get". But what some people don't understand is that you can't possibly go out with them for obvious reasons...and they would start complaining that you are playing hard-to-get. Guys, you don't seem to know the difference between "hard-to-get" and "never-can-get"!

Folks: Relationship should be mutual and beneficial. Why should gals or ladies play hard-to-get? Though is okay to find out if the man is really interested by showing little interest, but to show no interest at all means pack-and-go for me. I just can not be mind reader and also wait for hard-knox when there are many out there. I just cannot hang around forever for what is supposed to be beneficial to both partners. I nija, I see that as damnnn wrong to play hard to get.

Good one there IAH. Some guys think that when you say NO, it techincally means you are tryna play "hard-to-get". Sometimes it's just that the girl already knows that she can't go out with you and there's actually nothing you can do to make her go out with you.

Like IAH also said: it's good to play hard to get but when you "over-do" it, that's just not right. To both you and the dude in question. Cos if you play too hard to get, you could in turn loose ur prince charming. And as a girl, you really shouldn't be cheap. When you are cheap, the guy thinks of you in a way that "we all know way i mean".

Well i am guessing this is for the guys to answer... some of them loves a girl that will make them die before they get her. While some just want the one that will say YES!

@Geez, why should I show interest when I'm really not interested? That means I'm pretending. You like pretence?

Hot-angel, I am for the big YES, YES, YES! How about that?

How do you espect her to say YES when she doesn't know if you can go to any extent to get her? You want her to pretend?

IAH, I mean little interest as test for seriousness from the guy, not hard-knox play.  

If a gal says NO, that is it, I'll pack and go, zam, zam!

I take NO to be NO, period! Why would anything that will be beneficial starts with NO and then YES. If there is no answer, I will take it to mean, prove-yourself, kinda test.

Most men aren't like you. Some men take No to be "try harder".

Geez:

IAH, I mean little interest as test for seriousness from the guy, not hard-knox play.  

Haha, it's like you don't get me. There are some people that you don't even need to test any seriousness AT ALL! Whether they are serious or not is their wahala, you just don't want them!

Those men who take NO to mean try harder are, to me, aggressive and could be dangerous when cornered. Just beware of them.

cushman:

next time you see a lady you are interested in just flick your fingers and she'll be allover you.

heyy yooo cushman! wat u mean flick your finger and she'll b allova u?? wat u call urself?? honey or sumn?? ohh pls i ain't buyin dat!! nat at all! aight cushhh u flick your finger rite now n' letz see how many gurlz wld b all ova u?? yeye

simple and approachable, a woman deserves her pride though__i can try harder but not too hard, na exam? no be JAMB now

what do you men want? If a woman plays hard to get you say, "she deh do shakara", if she makes herself approachable, you say "she is cheap!!!"......
i say that any woman that is worth having is worth fighting for..if you can't be botherd to fight for her, then you probably do no deserv her or you just plain don't know what you want!

fight?___exactly what is this fight referring to? you dont have to fight to be a man and sometimes you have to fight to be a man, no man in his right senses will say a woman is too cheap that is childs talk, no be you carry your mouth go meet am?

The "fight" is refering to playing hard to get...there is simply nothinh wrong in playing hard to get

nicetohave, you're perfectly right. No fight in any form on my part. If the relationship is not going to be mutually beneficial, then let her go, afterall, just as there are many men out there, there are also many gals out there. Forget it, I will never sweat for a gal, because if you do, then when it comes to maintenance, you will be dead and buried with her burden. Pray you do not fight for gold, diamond and grave digger.

It all boils down to choosing your battles my friends...

meaning some men like "wahala" as for me, i dont......what about you Geez?

2_die_4, its easier said than that. Some battles can be deceptives especially with the so-called hard-to-get play kinda of thing. Often times, men think they are smart and knowledegable, but from what I have seen, the best advice is "do not sweat to get into a mutual relationship" otherwise when the real deal comes you will be pronounced dead on arrival if the gal is gold and grave digger.

nicetohave, I value my peace. I do not get into battles for anything whatsoever, especially in relationships. Many men end up running away naked from their so-called high-valued gal. Not me at all.

has it ever occured to you guys that the "playing hard to get" could be a defence mechanism, born from the fact that these women had in the past gotten into a "mutual relationship" and ended up being stung badly?

@ Geez, Thank you, that makes two of us
@2 die 4, well those kind of ladies are not for me then, i pass.

2_die_4:

has it ever occured to you guys that the "playing hard to get" could be a defence mechanism, born from the fact that these women had in the past gotten into a "mutual relationship" and ended up being stung badly?

Of course, it's possible! We all know that most of you guys are wild lions roaming about seeking whom to devour!

If she is re-living her past, she can tell me verbally instead of saying NO initially. There's nothing wrong in saying "I'm just out of a relationship and I want to be alone" and I will value that and thread differently, but not the typical bushe's attitude of NO, point blank!  

@ IAH, and i presume the prey by now should "know" the smell of the predator.

IAH, I'm not a lion and I do not belong to that charaterisation. I just don't get into battles and also I'm frank with my statement.