Go ahead with the wedding, she won't continue with the character. And please, stop giving directives to your cousin, you are endangering her own life, give directives to your wife.

Gourdoinc:
when you marry her, manage her till she gives you the kids you want, then if her character hasn't improved, fall out of love with her and whatever she does again will never bother you no more. woman can only bother you as long as ur in love with her

bro , please you don`t manage women , don`t push this guy to what he will live to regret , a woman is giving you such attitude before marriage and you are saying he should go ahead with the marriage till she gives him the kids he want , my brother marriage is not a joke .

she will do worse when she gives birth expecially when she has a male child . . .

op , call off the wedding or postpone it till you get things right , you are not in competition with anybody .

talk to her that you guys need to put things right before the marrige . . . yes we know you love her .marriage is a lifetime thing ..

yomi007k:


U spoke my mind...

How? carry out your wedding plan and see a councillor,

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

may God bless you. You just spoke my mind... This op is not ripe for marriage joor, no vex o

Lescalier:


This guy, u r very lucky!!!!

I say u r lucky because u still have a chance to live peacefully on earth.

A bad marriage is like living in hell on earth.

Assuming I wake up from dream now, and it's the day of my wedding, people are in church sitting down, reception venue set, i'll happily dress up casually, go to the church and beg everyone not to be disappointed.

You still have a week to think if u can cope.

As for what you told ur cousin, I'm guessing you should ve said it either to your wife or to your cousin infront of your wife. But that doesn't give her the audacity to speak to you in that manner.

Women these days have lost it. They are morally bankrupt.

extremely extremely fortunate. It's a sign. I feel you bro. Same here

dont marry her. that is how it starts o!

Jahblessme:


Am i supposed to take the sabi sabi as insult?
Why should he undermine his wife in such a manner?His wife yelled,yes but where did she 'command' him?
I believe that when people get obsessed with control issues they are usually insecure.
If you are confident in yourself ,make logical decisions and act mature,you will earn and command respect without uttering a sound.

Your previous post is so on point. The OP is the dominating type and wants to show is wife and inlaw that 'this is my house and whatever I say is final' and I don't even understands hiss annoyance when shee left. I pity the lady not the op. This kind man fit her teeth. He's not just too authoritative but he's aggressive and hot tempered. Imagine now he's thinking about beating her and some guys are telling him to let her know who's boss. What the OP need is to work on himself and not be Mr. Right

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Tell her that the wedding is cancelled.. Her reaction would determine if she wants only the wedding, or she really wants to get married to You

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

My guy all these ones you're saying are gibberish. Yes your wife didn't tell you her sister was coming over but you bleeped up. You should have handled it like a man, after all you're married and should be acting matured. You forgot that as a man the happiness of your home is your number one priority. My elder sis had same experience you had and the story is not on nairaland. Nobody and I repeat nobody is suppose to see you and your spouse fight. And moreover what message are you passing to your wife? That you're the alpha and omega and your words are final? Since when did that necessitate beating? Go home apologise to your wife and your sister inlaw and make peace in your home. It does not show she's right but it shows you're wiser

Blonchilli:


My guy all these ones you're saying are gibberish. Yes your wife didn't tell you her sister was coming over but you bleeped up. You should have handled it like a man, after all you're married and should be acting matured. You forgot that as a man the happiness of your home is your number one priority. My elder sis had same experience you had and the story is not on nairaland. Nobody and I repeat nobody is suppose to see you and your spouse fight. And moreover what message are you passing to your wife? That you're the alpha and omega and your words are final? Since when did that necessitate beating? Go home apologise to your wife and your sister inlaw and make peace in your home. It does not show she's right but it shows you're wiser

you nailed it!!!
errmm....can I marry you?
you are a husband material 10000000 yards
lol

stainless239:






you nailed it!!!
errmm....can I marry you?
you are a husband material 10000000 yards
lol

Let's discuss term and condition darling

Blonchilli:
Let's discuss term and condition darling

lol oya na

Plankton2017:
Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. [b]Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. [/b]I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Kai!!!!!!!!


Shut up. Which wife? Do you know what marriage is? My wife, my in-law: are u màrried? U are committing fornication.

Which in-law? Ordained by who?


Co-habitationists!!!!!

stainless239:



lol
oya na

In my tradition you have to first know the person A-Z you're courting to avoid stories that touch or our marital affairss going to NL fp

kudos. Good write up, nice advise.

Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.





[/quote]

jameshow:
If she comes to your house, and she used a storex of water how does that disturb you? Is there no light to pump it again? Why are you getting yourself involved in every domestic matter? You paid 6k for gas and so what? You are stingy. Don't you know eni to bama se igbe iyawo ase gudugudu meje ni? Meaning the person that will marry should get ready for the responsibilities that followed, in-laws are to be respected, am also a man. She left camp and so what? Why are you bringing out issue where there is none? Bro you are not psychologically fit to be in a marriage. Pls don't go into one because you can't marry your wife alone, you marry the whole family likewise the wife. No wife will be happy when the husband not comfortable with her families presence. Is disgusting. Pls call the lady and apologize

U have said it all.

Op i pity ur wife.
She is going to marry a stingy man who cannot accommodate her family members but can accommodate his own family members. And u consider urself a demi god telling u cousin to take instruction only from u. U need to work on urself else u have the potential to be a wife beater.

Jahblessme:


Gosh!! where do i start from What kind of local story is this?

1. Your wife should have discussed with you first before her sister visited you both-she was very wrong but everything after that made you look so petty.You were counting water used to bathe and asking your cousin helper to report to you first? If she wants to eat eggs will that also be reported to you?Do you also measure yam with ruler in your house?
Your actions have sown a very bad seed - belittling your SIL & your wife.I do not blame your wife for being very angry but she should have cooled off first and expressed her annoyance to you without flaring up.

Just a quick question OP,if your sister visits and your wife tells your little cousin to report to her first before doing anything she asks for nko?How would that sit with you?Just know your wife will never forget,be ready for your siblings to recieve the same hot soup

Yes,you should have been told before her sis landed ,but the deed had already been done.You should have controlled yourself instead of acting like a miserable being.What did your SIL do wrong?she probably thought she was coming to visit human beings who would treat her well not knowing her husband is a hot water measurer
Best approach would have been to discuss the issue with your spouse quietly.See disgrace!



Your wife raised her voice,you raised your own too,asked her to leave your room.'Yoour Room'??!!! i thought you both are married? I cant even believe what i'm reading here.
In the same sentence you talked about not wanting to be a woman beater.I do not see any reason why beating should come into this abi you normally beat or you were raised by a beater?Violence should not be an option.ah ahhh!!!


Both of you displayed shameful behavior and i don't blame your SIL for leaving,you disgraced her infront of your cousin helper,you disgraced your wife,your wife as disgraced you & you have made her feel unwelcome. Tueh
She will go and tell the story to family members who already don't like you and you will officially enter hate list with tattered reputation.

Please do the world a favour and delay this wedding till you both learn to behave like adults.


If you want to be the leader of your home you must learn to conduct yourself with dignity and self respect.You have to lead by example.
Discussions can be had without raising of voices.If your wife starts to shout,tell her you won't listen till she calms down and addresses you like an adult.I also expect her to do the same to you.That way you both will learn to trust each other and start building your little unit,she will also stop seeing the need to tell every little deed to her family as you will become her best friend and confidante.

Normally you should be in honeymoon phase but you people are already acting like cat and dog.
Good luck o.






By the way the way you worded little cousin and 2 big pots are you trying to imply that the girl is too little to do chores in general or specifically chores for SIL? If she is little,ideally she shouldn't be in your home doing housework.

spot on! U just said it all

BeSafeOnline:



Bro, I see you are into binary options... Can we meet to discuss it ? I reside in Lagos.

Hello bro, I don't reside in Lagos.
I'm on pause mode for now.

"""lolzz

Jahblessme... u are so onpoint

jusRadical:





Kai!!!!!!!!


Shut up. Which wife? Do you know what marriage is? My wife, my in-law: are u màrried? U are committing fornication.

Which in-law? Ordained by who?


Co-habitationists!!!!!

Since when did the white man's tradition become ours? So after traditional marriage a man is still single till he does oyibo wedding?

holyghost:
All you guys bashing the man, how many will contribute financially to his account when he goes broke?
the man is trying to mange his new home the best way he can.

the issue at hand has append and he too was not happy about it and came to Nairaland to see how to remedy his new positions,
so why the bashing?

bros, welcome! your actions is 60% right, you were not told she is coming and she will be boiling much water with gas!
now you did what you did with anger or lack good thinking,
next time set some simple rules, like
telling each other when your In-laws are coming, and some manner to expect.
agree to disagree in the bedroom and when it's a draw give it a brake and come back to it another time with better information and convictions (if both are honest they will lean together no one is a winner! should be your watchword.

some in-laws are immature but find a way to let your partner (man or woman) know you too do necessarily support or like what your personal relation or even friends did. but you will work on them with the right approach. that way you work as a team. You may even not find issue with what they did but if your partner (wife or husband) is not happy you should find a way to clear the issue out, so that you two can love again! in the end its all about the two of you, until the kids start coming and getting in the way, even when that comes both of you will agree on parenting method to adopt. in all no to violence! no to laziness! and no dishonesty, Marriage is handwork but you have to learn how to make it easy by simple bonding rules. and the greatest rule of marriage = don't brake the bonding rule

here they are:
1 Listen to your heart but use your head (be sure s/he is your dream b4 falling in love/getting married) during courtship days
2 Listen to your partner's word and try to understand them (don't 2nd guess! at least ask him/her what exactly they mean)
3 Find it easy to say sorry when the other person feels hurt(and mean it even for no clear reason)
4 Say i love you to each other with a kiss every wake-up morning and at late sleep time.(kissing part is for couples only )
5 Put the 3rd party where they belong (outside your joy and marriage) show concern but not at the expense of your partner.
6 Always remember why you fell in love and compromise often; but for reasonably cause too!(say NO NO to violence, manipulation and nagging people are hardly cured of these) search your bible
7 Forget the past errors and close that page!( don't remember there was too much salt in her soup last week)
8 Always remember good deeds and say it his/her hearing (i can still remember how you came home with my favourite apple brand such word make him/her go a step further to get not only the apple but the right brand even if it's far!)
9 Be truthful and hardworking in your responsibility, s/he will know you tried even if d result is poor!(encourage each other)
10 Do the dishes together that way you have a project that remind you to wash away the error too!
11 Be his/her best friend and don't pretend you don't miss him/her
12 Don't brake the rules just because you can! prove you are a better lover by keeping the if not doing more!

When you marry a woman, you marry the whole family. It doesn't mean you should go all out to spend on them. But when they visit, you need to accommodate them. What about his cousin livng with him? Is he not feeding that one on a daily basis? The SIL only visitedand he flipped because she boiled water and even gave instructions to monitor her activities. If he wants to be counting every kobo, he shouldn't have got married. Marriage is for matured minds.

A domineering woman will never change; what shuts them up is either plenty of money that she has no control of or plenty slaps more than she can handle... so if u can't manage her dis way, jejely run because even if she gives birth to kids, she will be worse off... think deep

egworlordor:
A domineering woman will never change; what shuts them up is either plenty of money that she has no control of or plenty slaps more than she can handle... so if u can't manage her dis way, jejely run because even if she gives birth to kids, she will be worse off... think deep

Bro u just said my mind. OP shud run b4 she carry his pikin

Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Op now i understand a bit of what you were talking about. But in my case, my mother visited with her two daughters and they stayed for over 2months(story for another day). They were boiling water on the gas separately to bath instead of waking up earlier to use the electric kettle before the light goes. Three of them,three full pots on the gas everyday

By the time the gas that we usually use for close to 2 months finished twice in one month, it was my husband that warned them himself. And he told me to make sure they didn't use the gas for that purpose if they couldn't wake up early to use the electric kettle. They adjusted quickly.

its best you postpone the wedding.

Good day fellow NL,

Please judge this case. Last week thursday my sister inlaw visited me and my wife from NYSC camp. I was shocked when I welcomed her because it was no ordinary visit. she came with a full ghana must go. We greeted and I got to know that she escaped from camp due to the tough tasks on camp. My wife never told me her sister was coming to stay. We have lived amicably till yesterday.

My lil cuzin that stays and helps us with chores was mandated by her to cook 2 big pots of water for her to bath. I scolded my cousin and told her why didnt she use the electric kettle so as to save gas which we just replaced with 6k. I now gave her a warning that whatever my inlaw wants that she should ask me 1st. I even got to know that my wife lied to me that her parents knew she left camp. My wife heard our conversation and started antagonizing me that why did I tell my cuz to always ask me b4 she obeys her sister. she was shouting at the top of her voice even my inlaw could hear. This angered me and I shouted back and told her to leave my room. she continued shouting and even slept in the sitting room as I slept alone.

This afternoon while working on my computer for hours I came out of the room only to find out my sister in law has packed her things back to her NYSC camp without telling me but my wife knows....I am slatted to officially do my white wedding next saturday. I just feel down because we quarell too much and my wife talks in a domineering way. I have warned her about it and I do not want to turn a woman beater. Any quarell we have she tells her parents and siblings which make them never free with me and act cold towards me. Damn it! pls advice me

Bro so what's the situation if things 2 years later?

Bro Jesus love you...its a sign it will not work when u both got married...tell her u are putting the wedding plan to stop and see her reaction... If she behave well...give your self more time to think before continuing the wedding plan...but if she behave harsh and mannerless,,,bros no waste ur time...send her packing by telling her to stay a little bit with her parent....and from there....continue running for your life till u both got totally separated... She has already sell ur respect for nothing in front of your in-laws and that will affect u later in future...her family will not value u and they will start comparing you to other suitors that she has before u...and u know what ur name will be....(sorry)

Nigga no get work, how can you have time to monitor kitchen activities? broke ass nigga