JavierEze:
Hello guys,

Very quick one. So this might sound complicated butI need your advise still. So here it goes.

Okay so I'm an igbo girl living in the UK...about a year ago, I started dating this guy who is a year younger than I am and also happens to be Yoruba. I love him very very much and don't want to lose him but here is the dilemma.

Firstly My parents don't want a Yoruba man at allll...
Secondly, he's 26 and I'm 27...For a guy that is really young to start discussing marriage. ..but for a girl everyone knows I'm already an old woman lol!

Ofcourse he might not be very ready to get married for at least another two years...which *sigh...doesn't just sit well with me. I feel we'd make a wonderful couple though and i genuinely want to be with him forever but with these many 'enemies' it has crossed any mind to end it before the battle begins .

I just need to hear other opinions or thoughts around this. Should I stay and fightor should I run. Cheers. Chi.

JavierEze:
Hello guys,

Very quick one. So this might sound complicated butI need your advise still. So here it goes.

Okay so I'm an igbo girl living in the UK...about a year ago, I started dating this guy who is a year younger than I am and also happens to be Yoruba. I love him very very much and don't want to lose him but here is the dilemma.

Firstly My parents don't want a Yoruba man at allll...
Secondly, he's 26 and I'm 27...For a guy that is really young to start discussing marriage. ..but for a girl everyone knows I'm already an old woman lol!

Ofcourse he might not be very ready to get married for at least another two years...which *sigh...doesn't just sit well with me. I feel we'd make a wonderful couple though and i genuinely want to be with him forever but with these many 'enemies' it has crossed any mind to end it before the battle begins .

I just need to hear other opinions or thoughts around this. Should I stay and fightor should I run. Cheers. Chi.

yomi007k:
My exs relatives didnt like me because she was 1 year ahead of me in school and so the felt I wouldnt be prepared for marriage as dt was her next plan as far back as 2013.

I broke the relationship and I asked her this year why she isnt married, still no reason....lol.
Well I moved on perfectly and found an angel.


Pls break up with the guy, im sure u guys will be better apart.

madone:
soo ur ex is not married now even after 3years.re u married

JavierEze:

Firstly My parents don't want a Yoruba man at allll...

Secondly, he's 26 and I'm 27...For a guy that is really young to start discussing marriage. ..but for a girl everyone knows I'm already an old woman lol!

Ofcourse he might not be very ready to get married for at least another two years...which *sigh...doesn't just sit well with me.

I feel we'd make a wonderful couple though and i genuinely want to be with him forever but with these many 'enemies' it has crossed any mind to end it before the battle begins .

I just need to hear other opinions or thoughts around this. Should I stay and fight or should I run. Cheers. Chi.

yomi007k:

Yes
I am married to my hustle.

alexialin:





Lol
Can u imagine?

You can mock your ex, shes not married till now, while you yourself u are still single hustling. U never even arrive yet, how much settle down.
What if shes now engaged to be married but refuse to tell u, so that her wedding plans wil move smoothly.

What will u then say?

I just bow for your mentality.

yomi007k:


Success means different things to different people.

I dont compare myself wt people.

Wat everyone thinks or does is for them n not me.

alexialin:





Then why laugh when she said she is not yet married.?

U could have easily said ok.

And she could think the same u are saying nw.

Success means different things for different people.



Shikena.

yomi007k:


Why I laughed is cos back den it seemed like I was the unserious one...d guy wtout a future ambition.
If I was still dating her since den, her family cud say dt im d one preventing her from getting married.


But now she has seen dt life isnt a bed of roses.

Im not mocking her, im just happy wt my choices.

alexialin:





Ok


And do u know, it could be? Both of you are not destined to marry each other.

Just saying

Ifedith:

Guy rest! You no dey get the guy narrative? He left the girl 4 yrs ago because bcus marriage issues, yet the girl never still get that same marriage wey make dem break up. So in essence, the girl relatives dey think say na d guy dey block the girl shine as far back 2013,surprisingly the girl is still not married.

alexialin:





Ok


And do u know, it could be? Both of you are not destined to marry each other.

Just saying

SirMichael1:
Kondomatic has an answer to this.

And BTW, it depends on whether the guy likes you enough to fight his relatives for you. You obviously don't have a problem with your family except with his.

Moreover, you fighting alone even after marriage will only make you tired, frustrated and pissed with your guy and his family. If the both of you agree to fight for your relationship, you must also obverse the willingness of your guy and how far he would fight into marriage. You don't want someone who would get swayed by his relative and also take sides with them after you both are married, trust me, its gonna feel like you shoulder the world on your head.

Kondomatic:
My brother, a lot of things are unclear in her story.

I mean there is no little hint that the guy is thinking the same way as she is. It appears she's the only one making marriage plans and all. Love is a beautiful thing that is worth fighting for but it is horrible when you're fighting alone.

How committed is the guy in the relationship? We need to know that.
Why is she talking about marriage, did he propose??

MrBrownJay1:


so either drop that man or drop your narrow minded parents.



just because you COMMUNICATE about marriage does not mean you guys are gonna get hitched... but its good for both you guys to know where you are heading, so tell him how you feel.




I really like your answer, truth be told we know where we're going and we're making plans toward it...i know its bot set in stone that we end up together o but every action we're taking now is toward our future together

i smell desperation in the air.... if you definitely believe that 2 yrs is TOO long, then yes, desperate you are.

I'm not desperate I tbh, I'm just worried fort future id you understand what I mean, like what will happen if after waiting and fighting my parents don't budge or we split for some reason.

you hope to find a husband and have a marriage without issue (aka enemies)? stop dreaming as it comes with the territory, and if you cant handle such issues then you have no business getting married... (unless you marry some unattractive unwanted man).



if you start running, then be ready to ALWAYS run in your life. nothing comes easy in LIFE.

This makes sense sha

JavierEze:
I'm not desperate I tbh, I'm just worried fort future id you understand what I mean, like what will happen if after waiting and fighting my parents don't budge or we split for some reason.

Kondomatic:
My brother, a lot of things are unclear in her story.

I mean there is no little hint that the guy is thinking the same way as she is. It appears she's the only one making marriage plans and all. Love is a beautiful thing that is worth fighting for but it is horrible when you're fighting alone.

How committed is the guy in the relationship? We need to know that.
Why is she talking about marriage, did he propose??

Jaqenhghar:

You are not that old nah.
How long have U beem dating BTW?
and how has the relationship been going on?
those are some of the things that should influence your next steps

MrBrownJay1:


then you would have had a FANTASTIC experience with a great person; you would have spent time to DISCOVER who your future partner truly is; figure out what they like/dislike; gotten to know them deeply; created an unbreakable bond that your parents CANT undo etc. these are the things that only "time" can show you.

i have to question your supposed "love" for this man, if you'd rather break up with him than spend 2 WONDERFUL years by that person's side. its like you are saying:" i love you, but i'd rather focus on another person than spend 2 yrs with you, and possibly breaking up"... it makes NO DAMN SENSE (if you truly loved that person)!

JavierEze:


I feel like I am old o...I'm the first ...

But anyway the relationship has been awesome really...no major deal breaking issues...he's great... I'm just concerned. *sigh

SirMichael1:


I knew you'd have an answer.

Lmao at the emboldened

Anyways, from what she wrote about the guy's family not desiring for their son an Igbo lady shows that the guy has probably spoken to his parent about her or his parent have seen a commitment that might instigate marriage.