Treasuredlove:
nah...my husband doesn't hit women. He was raised around plenty women and doesn't support the idea of physical violence. He would often say "aah...no be woman talk?" I remember once his cousin hit his sister...chai...I pity that boy that day, even the sister was begging for him

it's not about hitting a woman. It's about humiliation, emotional tortue, embarrassment the victim will go through..... Thats my point. It's not about a man being raised in the midst of woman. Except you mean your husband doesn't get offended at all. We are human with emotions that's the point here!

Treasuredlove:
its the slaying and prewedding photoshoot generation. They think that the wedding is the marriage so this kind of thing happens. Well, I am not really sure about hate, but what the woman did was crazy but still, there is still no justification for beating a woman. Never hit a woman

there is never a justification to hit a woman but there are justification for murder... i.e sometime self defence. If we go by that, the onl justification is the man exchanging words right?? Well, it won't solve it, will it. If he walks away, she will still make her trouble. Atimes, there is never a wrong or right way to have approached an issue. There is not justification to insult and embarrass people without a cause

TheKingIsHere:


Point of correction. No man was trained to hit women. But if you think you can run your mouth anyhow, then try running your mouth and insult him outside let's see if he will just walk away, then you will understand the point the OP is trying to raise.

Point of correction, some men were trained to hit women. Either deliberately or not. Some women were also not taught to be respectful. Maybe they watched their mother do it...or they were told categorically.

majekdom2:
there is never a justification to hit a woman but there are justification for murder... i.e sometime self defence. If we go by that, the onl justification is the man exchanging words right?? Well, it won't solve it, will it. If he walks away, she will still make her trouble. Atimes, there is never a wrong or right way to have approached an issue. There is not justification to insult and embarrass people without a cause

How exactly did you know there is no cause in this scenario? Do you follow the couple into their bedroom?

pocohantas:


Point of correction, some men were trained to hit women. Either deliberately or not. Some women were also not taught to be respectful. Maybe they watched their mother do it...or they were told categorically.



How exactly did you know there is no cause in this scenario? Do you follow the couple into their bedroom?

Kk

Menzy86:
Many pretty girls are a bundle of baggage. Burst her bubble and walk away from her nagging pretty ass unexpectedly and watch her recoil. Talking from experience.

until I experienced it first hand I could start an argument with your post. I see why many rich, handsome guys settle for moderate babes. My experience was hell.

TheKingIsHere:


Kk

Very good.

pocohantas:

Very good.

clap for yourself. Mtchhhhww

eyinjuege:
The law isn't concerned if you're insulted and called names.

So do you think there is a problem with Nnamdi Kanu's speeches?

pocohantas:


Point of correction, some men were trained to hit women. Either deliberately or not. Some women were also not taught to be respectful. Maybe they watched their mother do it...or they were told categorically.



How exactly did you know there is no cause in this scenario? Do you follow the couple into their bedroom?

settle in the same bedroom, not calling a man a pig in the compound. There is no cause worth humiliating or embarassing your spouse for. Any man who is always humiliated this way by a woman publicly will find it hard to succeed.. true fact. How will you feel if your husband comes to your work place and tells everyone you wear your panties for more than 3 days or that you have some toilet disease because you are dirty. That emotional insult is worst than any hitting someone can do to you.

deebrain:



God will never let you to see shame again for this sincere comment.

AMEN! I RECEIVE IT

majekdom2:
settle in the same bedroom, not calling a man a pig in the compound. There is no cause worth humiliating or embarassing your spouse for. Any man who is always humiliated this way by a woman publicly will find it hard to succeed.. true fact. How will you feel if your husband comes to your work place and tells everyone you wear your panties for more than 3 days or that you have some toilet disease because you are dirty. That emotional insult is worst than any hitting someone can do to you.

Do you know where the man settled the first one?
This couple obviously have unsettled issues only them know of. See it from your perspective and others will see it from theirs.

Anybody who is humiliated by their partner will find it difficult to succeed. Not only men are allergic to humiliation.

TheLordIsGr8:


So do you think there is a problem with Nnamdi Kanu's speeches?

I've never really heard any of of his speeches, but I understand he was raising an army, he equally flaunted his bail conditions of not having a certain no of people around him. He also called for the attack of others.
If he had stuck to insulting other people, I couldn't care less. But to ask people en mass to attack other innocent people who found themselves in the same condition as you is also very wrong. But then, we have differnt principles and outlook towards lofe despite sharing the same platform such as NL. You may notbse anything wrong in it.
I have seen my share of violence in the north of nigeria, and I can never endorse such. People that instigate that are even worse than the main perpetrators.

pocohantas:


Do you know where the man settled the first one?
This couple obviously have unsettled issues only them know of. See it from your perspective and others will see it from theirs.

Anybody who is humiliated by their partner will find it difficult to succeed. Not only men are allergic to humiliation.

So in your books, the man must have started it right? He must have done something to deserve the public humiliation and provocation? And you don't think you are a little biased.

I think women should always let their intending partners know if they agree with your logic before marriage. So no one is surprised.

pocohantas:


Do you know where the man settled the first one?
This couple obviously have unsettled issues only them know of. See it from your perspective and others will see it from theirs.

you will keep on with "do I know" do I know" just to make yourself avoid the truth and justify your sentiments. Point is the woman is a lousy one. From the story OP alleged she narrated at the hospital, she never mentioned a past event/ "humiliating scene from her husband". Her actions was just as a result of an overcooked hate. I can tell from my experiences with about 5 GFS. For the 2 I genuinely loved. One was so peaceful that I started seeing my self as a fool anytime a fight starts. There was never a public scene. I myself is gentle a hate scences. For the second one, men na madness. The first scene she created was something else ontop something I bought for her with my money. That was the start of it, the fights never end without neighbours knowing we fought. I noticed I kept struggling to make things work for myself for this second one. For the first one, things were smooth on my level. There was never a time neighbours heard me and the first babe quarelling.. never. Thats not to say we don't have fights. The second babe is quite unteachable, never listens, never understanding. Behaves like a tout. When I tell you women are spirit. I know what I mean. A sane women will never create a scene. She'd rather take a walk just as a sane man will never and will only take a walk. Prov 14 :1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

OkunrinMeta:


So in your books, the man must have started it right? He must have done something to deserve the public humiliation and provocation? And you don't think you are a little biased.

I think women should always let their intending partners know if they agree with your logic before marriage. So no one is surprised.

I'm not a little biased, just buying into their logic that there must be a cause for any sort of abuse. The man poured her water because she walked into a house and started insulting him, why did she do that? I would appreciate anyone who can provide an answer to that.

majekdom2:
you will keep on with "do I know" do I know" just to make yourself avoid the truth and justify your sentiments. Point is the woman is a lousy one. From the story OP alleged she narrated at the hospital, she never mentioned a past event/ "humiliating scene from her husband". Her actions was just as a result of an overcooked hate. I can tell from my experiences with about 5 GFS. For the 2 I genuinely loved. One was so peaceful that I started seeing my self as a fool anytime a fight starts. There was never a public scene. I myself is gentle a hate scences. For the second one, men na madness. The first scene she created was something else ontop something I bought for her with my money. That was the start of it, the fights never end without neighbours knowing we fought. I noticed I kept struggling to make things work for myself for this second one. For the first one, things were smooth on my level. There was never a time neighbours heard me and the first babe quarelling.. never. Thats not to say we don't have fights. The second babe is quite unteachable, never listens, never understanding. Behaves like a tout. When I tell you women are spirit. I know what I mean. A sane women will never create a scene. She'd rather take a walk just as a sane man will never and will only take a walk. Prov 14 :1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Just as you keep trying to convince yourself she is lousy to justify your sentiments.

How did you know she is lousy? Do you know her before?
How did he marry a lousy woman?

Has the husband mentioned past events? He has to do that in her presence, for us to fully understand what's happening in that marriage. A sane woman will never create a scene, will a sane man marry an insane woman and join her in the scene?

OP said they always quarrelled but never in public, so...it's not like it's a usual occurrence. What changed that day?

Hedonistically:


Haha. That's why I laugh in scorn whenever I see some stupid 'feminists' here insist that a man should never lift his finger on a woman no matter what. That he should just walk away.

Follow their advice, and the same foolish girls would accuse you of being immature for keeping 'malice' with them. That why should you give them silent treatment. That it isn't manly, and that it is better for you to react and show your displeasure, than to 'keep malice' with them.

Can you imagine these people? Go left, you're doomed. Go right, you're doomed. Stay still, you're finished. Which way is the way to go with women, for goodness sake?

the solution is not to GO with them in the first instance..once u notice any funny behaviour dump them and disappear..if possible mark ur time and bleep them until your tired and dissappear

abdelrahman:
If they can't live in peace,they should divorce na!

Na so easy easy.

eyinjuege:


That's an old saying dating back ages , as far back as 1800s. You can Google the expression.

While at It, physical assault can never be equated as same as verbal assault. It's a criminal case, and you can actually go to jail for it. Insulting someone can be seen as a disturbance of the public peace or something, and that's if you're even loud about it.
So because your friend prefers to be beaten rather than insulted makes no difference. If you fall into that trap , you will be on your own. Lanre Gentry can testify.
Because I prefer to pay a fine rather than have points on my driver's licence doesn't mean the law will oblige me and not give me points if I break the driving rules

Neva said it was general, was just stating a personal experience as an example of wat verbal assault can mean to a person same as physical assault. D best tin is let her control her mouth nd he ll control his temper nt thinking everyperson can always walk away wen she starts, so if na midnite u stil expect him to walk away abi, blessed re d slow to talk, 4 they sha nt b beaten.
FYI, i dnt support domestic violence, neva will, only bn logical

pocohantas:


I'm not a little biased, just buying into their logic that there must be a cause for any sort of abuse. The man poured her water because she walked into a house and started insulting him, why did she do that? I would appreciate anyone who can provide an answer to that.



Same way you're trying to convince yourself she is lousy to justify your sentiments.

How did you know she is lousy? Do you know her before?
How did he marry a lousy woman?

Has the husband mentioned past events? He has to do that in her presence, for us to fully understand what's happening in that marriage. A sane woman will never create a scene, will a sane man marry an insane woman and join her in the scene?

If you find something the man did that the wife is reacting to, I can also ask what the woman did to cause the man to do that in the first place. And the circle goes on and on.

There is frequently one cold issue/argument or the other between couples. You should know this from experience. However, one must draw the line somewhere. And i think public humiliation is a good place to draw that line.

Besides, she probably would have mentioned it while insulting him or afterwards when seeking sympathy but it seem the biggest offence the guy committed was having a small banana.

I understand sha. How dare an husband have a small banana and last for only 2 minutes in this period of recession These are unforgivable crimes. He should be flogged

pocohantas:


I'm not a little biased, just buying into their logic that there must be a cause for any sort of abuse. The man poured her water because she insuo a house and start insulting him? I would appreciate anyone who can provide an answer to that.



Same way you're trying to convince yourself she is lousy to justify your sentiments.

How did you know she is lousy? Do you know her before?
How did he marry a lousy woman?

Has the husband mentioned past events? He has to do that in her presence, for us to fully understand what's happening in that marriage. A sane woman will never create a scene, will a sane man marry an insane woman and join her in the scene?

you are failing to understand my point. She could have avoided a scene. That woman is not just sane!!. A lady agreed that came ranting about women being blamed later agreed she is not sane. Clearly the husband avoided a scene but she was ready for it. For the lousy, you will keep defending over a situation you don't even know anything about. I ll give an instance. We were seeing a movie on domestic violence about 11 in the night. So, she asked me to watch. I was watching, later I lost interest. The next was fight oo. I said I will walk away if I experience a marriage I am not happy in. Next thing was fight oo @ 11. That don't I know that marriage is for better for worse. That I don't respect vows. Went to bring knife and was shouting. So many silly instances, see she brought me down to that level. I know what I am telling you. I have seen Sane people in marriages and I have seen mad people, I have neighbours I never hear them fight. Things are not even very OK for this man. He caters for even an extended family in his home but never will you hear an argument. And there is another one whose husband is average but a mad person. The day she brought her madness to my side, I just told her sorry sorry. She has got her own very sweet part. She is nice and all. But this flaw of hers will keep us on a level for a long time that's my point. I can't count the number of times when she is about to start when I just say sorry sorry but she can't just stop being silly. I think you find this with very unitelligent babes.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

Another story of no matter what a woman does...... Foolish mentality, I beg you to push your husband to the extreme because of no matter what a woman does and see your family carrying your corpse.

OkunrinMeta:


If you find something the man did that the wife is reacting to, I can also ask what the woman did to cause the man to do that in the first place. And the circle goes on and on.

There is frequently one cold issue/argument or the other between couples. You should know this from experience. However, one must draw the line somewhere. And i think public humiliation is a good place to draw that line.

Besides, she probably would have mentioned it while insulting him or afterwards when seeking sympathy but it seem the biggest offence the guy committed was having a small banana.

I understand sha. How dare an husband have a small banana and last for only 2 minutes in this period of recession These are unforgivable crimes. He should be flogged

Very good!I like how you perfectly captured it. That's the point I have been trying to make, if we keep justifying this for that...intolerance will continue. We keep going in circles.

She didn't mention it because it's too sensitive. The man's initial response shows that he knows her annoyance

Not jut having a small banana, most likely not open to learn the act of satisfaction with the small banana. Majority of our men are aggressive to banana topics. Lots of married people are sexually frustrated.

majekdom2:
you are failing to understand my point. She could have avoided a scene. That woman is not just sane!!. A lady agreed that came ranting about women being blamed later agreed she is not sane. Clearly the husband avoided a scene but she was ready for it. For the lousy, you will keep defending over a situation you don't even know anything about. I ll give an instance. We were seeing a movie on domestic violence about 11 in the night. So, she asked me to watch. I was watching, later I lost interest. The next was fight oo. I said I will walk away if I experience a marriage I am not happy in. Next thing was fight oo @ 11. That don't I know that marriage is for better for worse. That I don't respect vows. Went to bring knife and was shouting. So many silly instances, see she brought me down to that level. I know what I am telling you. I have seen Sane people in marriages and I have seen mad people, I have neighbours I never hear them fight. Things are not even very OK for this man. He caters for even an extended family in his home but never will you hear an argument. And there is another one whose husband is average but a mad person. The day she brought her madness to my side, I just told her sorry sorry. She has got her own very sweet part. She is nice and all. But this flaw of hers will keep us on a level for a long time that's my point. I can't count the number of times when she is about to start when I just say sorry sorry but she can't just stop being silly. I think you find this with very unitelligent babes.

Still no proof she is lousy or insane. I will have to sit both and hear their grievances to 'judge'.

They could have both avoided a scene if they didn't marry each other, if they solved that lingering issue or worse case scenario...separate.

PaperLace:


I hear you, Uncle.
If you had said, "what if my dad goes to my mum's office and says her pussy stinks _won't she react?" I would have been less irritated or not irritated at all. If you need a pussy to use for illustration, please use your mother's own, not mine. That'll be very constructive of you.

madam, you are the one in the argument not my mother. So, I will use u and not my mum. I want you to picture yourself in the shoes of the victim that's my point. A woman calls her husband pig publiccly and said so many silly things about his joystic. Now I want you to picture yourself in the same scenario where you husband tell everyone your pussy stinks- true or not true, how will you feel? Condemn what's wrong and stop seeing every other thread about women an attempt to rubbish the female gender.

imam07:
What surprise me is our women are everyday church goers. They can sleep in church if u allow them. But why are they not putting this biblical teaching into practice in their home. Is like our pastors have failed in this aspect. The pastors are only preaching about tithes and offering in the church. Hmmmmm there is God. Pastors should mostly preach topics on what to strengthen marriage every time. Many pastors too get problem with their wife. Pastor weh never settle his family problem so is he the one that will settle others family issues.

Exactly! But you need to keep that lid on it. We know that's your NORMAL anyway. Good luck, Mustapha.

pocohantas:


Very good!I like how you perfectly captured it. That's the point I have been trying to make, if we keep justifying this for that...intolerance will continue. We keep going in circles.

She didn't mention it because it's too sensitive. The man's initial response shows that he knows her annoyance

Not jut having a small banana, most likely not open to learn the act of satisfaction with the small banana. Majority of our men are aggressive to banana topics. Lots of married people are sexually frustrated.

Hahahaha. This banana thing hen and sexual frustration has destroyed lots of marriages.. And its a very sensitive topic. It amazing how many disagreements can be prevented with regular, deep, sweet and effective "ministrations". Unfortunately, its a sensitive topic for our brothers and some of our sisters think orgasm is a fashion item, no idea what it means.

Its clear both of them have excess energy that needs to be appropriated between missionary and helicopter styles.

majekdom2:
madam, you are the one in the argument not my mother. So, I will use u and not my mum. I want you to picture yourself in the shoes of the victim that's my point. A woman calls her husband pig publiccly and said so many silly things about his joystic. Now I want you to picture yourself in the same scenario where you husband tell everyone your pussy stinks- true or not true, how will you feel? Condemn what's wrong and stop seeing every other thread about women an attempt to rubbish the female gender.

I guess she is not married. Because if she is married, she will not be arguing blindly.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

don't be like this, be rational, condemn what isn't right and make recommendations. don't just into the woman side cos u r a woman. a woman is to be loved agreed. on the other hand , a woman is to supposed to make her husband feel loved. Say for ex. she saw her hubby without sleepers, she scolds him calmly; baby why are u without sleepers, he will be like oh it escaped his mind. who knows probably he was washing the car hr wanted to take her to church with. then she goes in and offers him his sleepers. he will be all smiles, reminding himself unconsciously why he fell in love with her. Seriously, if a woman hadn't done a thing in my life and she nags alot walahi talahi I'm going fo a divorcé. no time.

Medicineguy:
the solution is not to GO with them in the first instance..once u notice any funny behaviour dump them and disappear..if possible mark ur time and bleep them until your tired and dissappear

That is the final solution.

Catching feelings is always the problem.... 'love' attachment, commitment... These are traps to keep you miserable.

Hit and run... Or if you absolutely have to stay, then it must be your own terms... With an old-fashioned lady who knows her place and her role.. The old-fashioned African way.

Evaberry:
very few men are victims of domestic violence. Women always bear the brunt of a man's anger


No matter what a woman says or does, a man should never hit her, a man is physically stronger than a woman so hitting her will inflict serious physical damage, whereas a woman may not cause any real harm to a man.

Op the husband in your write Up should have quietly left the compound and go relax somewhere until he was sure his wife had calmed down. when a woman is angry she throws all reason and caution to the wind, it therefore falls on the man to be understanding and reasonable


Engaging in a fisticuffs with a woman is wrong and should be condemned.

RUBBISH

majekdom2:
madam, you are the one in the argument not my mother. So, I will use u and not my mum. I want you to picture yourself in the shoes of the victim that's my point. A woman calls her husband pig publiccly and said so many silly things about his joystic. Now I want you to picture yourself in the same scenario where you husband tell everyone your pussy stinks- true or not true, how will you feel? Condemn what's wrong and stop seeing every other thread about women an attempt to rubbish the female gender.

I condemn violence among couples. I have put myself in his shoes and I know I won't retaliate right there, 'cos I know it'll only escalate things. You're not married, you don't know tact. Lots of couples don't, that's why we have such stories.

Please, leave my pussy alone _use the ones around you.

imam07:
I guess she is not married. Because if she is married, she will not be arguing blindly.

I guess you're also not married, that's why you're trying to force your opinion on me blindly. Let me say it again, couples should employ tact in resolving marital issues. Not women only, not men only _ COUPLES. If one person is deviant, the other has to step in. Two people no dey mad at the same time, that's what works for me.

If fisticuffs works for you _fine, but don't impose it on me. I didn't impose mine on you.

dicefrost:


I totally disagree with you. If there is no justification for a man hitting a woman, then there is no justification for a woman to verbally abuse a man. If he continues to walk away from the insult, it ll only be eating him up inside. I find it offensive that you tactfully excused the woman's madness and blame the man for not walking away. You are in effect saying that men should continuously endure domestic abuse because they are physically stronger? You think that a woman's words do not do emotional harm? Is it just the man who should be understanding and reasonable? Should the woman not learn to respect her head?

For ages we have known that the strength of a woman's tongue is liken to Samson. Yet its always okay and excusable to have the woman use her strength on a man but then everyone will cry foul,savage,abuser etc when a man uses his strength on a woman. Gender equality they call it. Gender bias I call it. Emotional abuse is as evil domestic violence. I think its time ladies and sycophant males stop justifying the irrational acts of the female gender while condemning same in a man.