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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First (43162 Views)
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Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by hokafor(m): 9:35pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
The problem with most Nigerians, they believe once you are abroad that u are better than them financially. just use your head and conscience and do what u think is right, help the ones that are willing to struggle, Then the ones that are waiting for you to always give them money to squander pretend they don't exist. Because if you keep giving , a time will come when the same people u helped will ask you what have you being doing with you dollars? .just to mock you. 4 Likes |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Sebastine1606(m): 9:35pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
cstr1000: Sorry, but it seems as though you don't have much burden of family on you, let's not forget the age of the OP Mai be fast going far and he had thought to push it further in life than to make the mistake of serving his family which will in turn be his undoing, when they stay calling him names of "old irresponsible man Wey no wan marry" the world is wicked ooh, let's not forget that Let's give some respite, this stuff happens more whit us the ibos and I don't know WHY 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Sebastine1606(m): 9:36pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
KevinDein:Thanks bro... God bless 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by cstr1000: 9:46pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
Sebastine1606:I understand what the OP is going through, but there are ways to handle this. Help them learn a trade, skill, set up a small business or some other stuff. I don't appreciate the ultimatum the family gave him, but I understand their point of view. I personally won't have time for extended families when I have a wife and children at home, so the best thing is to help them get settled somewhat atleast one or two siblings and then personally monitor their success and independence, instead of doling out cash aimlessly everytime. That is where many people get it wrong. Leaving your family without support regardless of if they deserve it or not, is just callous to me. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by dominique(f): 9:51pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
cstr1000: No one is saying that he should cast his family aside, but expecting him to put his life on hold because of them is totally unfair. It is never anybody's responsibility to take care of their siblings as long as their parents are alive. But in a society like ours, it's the norm. This is why I always advocate that people should not bear too many children especially if they're middle/low income earners. 3 Likes |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Sebastine1606(m): 9:55pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
cstr1000: He may even have tried to settle them in the past, but waywardness would have played its part, 10 years off been there for them is not childs play Common 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by jaxxy(m): 11:08pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
Don't abandon ur family however they are wrong to threaten u dat way. The best way to handle it will be to tell dem d best u can do for dem based on ur level dat shud include means for them to fend for themselves and ask them to support ur marriage. U can't please everyone bt try to make peace as much as possible. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by OldBeer: 11:08pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
ayokellany:Very stoopid comment. No wonder this epistle had no likes. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by valentineuwakwe(m): 11:19pm On Oct 01, 2017 |
please stop talking like a child. .what is the whole struggle is yours and you owe no one any dime? if weren't you poor family condition in the past would you have struggle to make it in life now? yes you have tried but family matters. .you started making small money and showed off. .they now think you have much and disturbs you. .well bear and settle them o |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Akuruoulo(m): 2:08am On Oct 02, 2017 |
I Dnt Believe Any1 Owes Me, Be It My Dad My Cousins My Uncles My Aunts Etc. When My Dad Died, My Mom And Uncle Was Very Angry With My Older Cousins. Am The Only Son, Soo My Mum , And My Uncle Wil Tel Me "akuruoulo This Ur Cousins Was Helpd ,and Loved Soo Dearly By Dad And Nw None Of Dem Even Call Us To Knw Hw We Are". I Wil Always Tel Them That My Cousins Are Nt Owing Me Anytin . They Must Nt Call Us, Ur Future Mayb Seem So Dark Nw Becus We Ar Swiming In Poverty. When U Think Some1 Need To Do Dis And Do That To U, U Grow Hatred 4 That Person When They Aren't Showing Up. Ur Siblings Aren't Good Enough 4 Ur Support. Just Ask Them What Type Of Settlement They Want (fullfil It If U Cn And Tel Them U Hav Shown Them How To Finish), Then Go On With Ur Mariage. Dnt Marry Nw |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by ayokellany: 2:19am On Oct 02, 2017 |
OldBeer:My dear I rebuke being the next victim of your anger. Watch me jump n pass over you n your problem into October. |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by gabbytabby: 2:21am On Oct 02, 2017 |
I dont do threats and blackmail. Act with wisdom cos with this kind of family you already have enemies. Personally I would not go round such people. I shudder at the thoughts of having such for family so cold and definitely no love. Are we in this world just for what we can get from each other? To deal with your conscience teach 2 how to fish and then move on with yout own life. May you find love, loyalty and goodness in the wife that you marry. May God give you a true family. hdeeman: 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by OldBeer: 4:25am On Oct 02, 2017 |
ayokellany: |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Legolast: 4:49am On Oct 02, 2017 |
madridguy:Respect... Best comment of the day |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Nobody: 4:55am On Oct 02, 2017 |
hdeeman: Get married and send them photos captioned "wish you were here" |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by aku626(m): 5:11am On Oct 02, 2017 |
Possible reason they ask you to settle them is cause they know after marriage your attention would be divided. I don’t know why you haven’t helped someone to at least be like you, if you’ve better for you, just tell that person to up his/her game. Else, you deserve what’s coming to you, you love the attention all this while, people looking up to you guess what that money won’t be there someday and you’d see the piece of trash that you’re yes TRASH cause you’d be dumped. I’m messing with you but I’d read in between if I were you. |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Sebastine1606(m): 5:33am On Oct 02, 2017 |
gabbytabby: I love this so so much So touchy, yet truth 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by drlateef: 5:37am On Oct 02, 2017 |
Selfish sibbling. Tell them none of them must marry or have any partner until you have first settled down. You will break their back. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by CaptainFM1: 5:43am On Oct 02, 2017 |
eyinjuege: I support. Also keep your wife and children away from them if you follow the above! |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by purityval(m): 6:30am On Oct 02, 2017 |
jagugu88li: Lol dunno but I think your savagery is now on a whole new level |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Wazzaowner(m): 7:07am On Oct 02, 2017 |
ladyF:Which kind Lady F be dis self?. LadyF wey no use hm own pics for profile is dat 1 a Lady F?? |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by TEYA: 7:56am On Oct 02, 2017 |
lalanice:Unfortunately some people are incapable of growing. You know how it is when you try to get a midget to grow by feeding them with nutritious food? Some successful people are so unfortunate to find themselves in the same household as those dwarfs, and no matter how rich you get, they will always drain you. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by bayulll011(m): 8:01am On Oct 02, 2017 |
MhizzAJ:nice of u to ignore him. do u know him before. |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by lalanice(f): 8:11am On Oct 02, 2017 |
TEYA:there's a way to get rid of such people nicely. so much that they will even feel like they owe you. you cant kill yourself for others. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by CDCEO001: 8:24am On Oct 02, 2017 |
Don't mind them and just do your thing as long as you know you don't owe anybody anything. When i was living abroad, my family was everything to me.... Even when i save up money to build buy land/build house, when they call and tell me one problem or other in the family, i'll just use the money to solve it and don't mind starting again afresh. A colleague in abroad once told me to start thinking and planning for myself, that if a ever go back home without anything, that the same people that i am doing all this for will make fun of me. I told him is not my family, that we love each other very much. But everything was clear to me when i was deported back to Nigeria due paper issue. You need to see insults i get from them, one asked me what i have done for him..... They always think you owe them something for being their brother, and many will not try to to anything, they just sit around even when they get an opportunity to establish themselves, they'll just overlook it because their brother is in overseas. 1 Like |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by dfrost: 8:29am On Oct 02, 2017 |
lalanice: One of the best advice of 2017 #Funfact 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by lalanice(f): 8:42am On Oct 02, 2017 |
dfrost:thank you! |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by harrymoses24(m): 10:58am On Oct 02, 2017 |
So now u don catch MUGU n u no one pay homage to street wey u grow up from. Na Devil go punish u. |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Tony609(m): 11:46am On Oct 02, 2017 |
ladies so love this topic.... because marriage is involved... well bro I believe you are mature enough, so get a soulmate but always rem your family at all times pls. lady F hope I spoke ur mind? lol HV a wonderful day. |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by Nobody: 12:08pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
purityval:I try sha. I am only just an |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by armyofone(m): 8:07pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
well said! They don't wish him well. What happened to all the 10 plus year of settlement ? Tell them to find their way as you've done enough. Take care of your parents. Go marry my friend if you have found the love of your life. Imagine such guts and boldness- ToZaraWithaZ: 2 Likes |
Re: I Want To Get Married But My Family Is Insisting I Must Settle Everybody First by armyofone(m): 8:17pm On Oct 02, 2017 |
Ha ha, such needed prayers. For them to boldly tell him that, the said wifey is on a long thing. Incrizz: |
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