1. Always portraying as a nation of rich-by-ritual pple

2. When it gets worst, instead of calling in the police they call in pastor, reverend or prayer warriors

3. Bad sound effect

4. Very Igbotic way of speaking English

5. Very overdressed or underdressed

6. Needs the help of psychiatrists to correct their widening of eyeballs to display anger

7. Using outdated an dilapidated cars (e.g. Mercedez V-Boot )  panel beated by a roadside mechanic times immemorial to show a wealthy man

8. Using touts to potray an immage of the Nigerian Police Force (Anyway, that's the way they look, like just days away from from Yaba)

9. Prayer warriors are always the hero

10. Wearing oversized or widscreen-like kind of eyeshades to differentiate the son of a rich man from the poor

11. Cigarette smoking idiot as a tout or robber

12. Borrowing my son's toy gun to used as a firing arm Please return it my son is crying  

13. Osuafia as a hero (What a shame)

14. A man using his wife as a punching bag

15. Shouting above normal voice level (Even the mic cracks at these noises)

16. Suya becomes food for the rich

17. Empty bottles of Gulder, Star etc., as a sign of 'Choppingson'

1, d story is just 'beginnin' after pt 1
2, poison bottles are alws marked with skull and cross bones
3, robbers must alws escape wit screechin tires even wen nobody's chasing them
4, women 'carry' ak47's effortlessly wit one hand
5, thugs must alws smoke cigarette and talk in ultra bass voices
6, dead parents must alws appear in dreams to show their children the 'way'
7, sombodi must suffer multiple bad luck/misfortune b4 finally 'makin' it

evey rich man is a 'chief' and must alws have a protudin belly

telling the whole story in the sound track, funny.

baddest of them all, u can see d shadow of d cameramen durin scenes and u can hear conversation in d next room/outside wen its spossed to b midnite!!!!!!!!!!!

U knw it's a Nigerian movie when u first see a guy/girl walking down the street and then a car approaching. what next? Accident, screachhhhhhhhh, GBAM. d car for don stop since or on a 20KM/hr, then d cameraman go shake the camera so tey, in components go fly comot, most cases, na d victim dey jam d car self

rclbrz2211:

U knw it's a Nigerian movie when u first see a guy/girl walking down the street and then a car approaching. what next? Accident, screachhhhhhhhh, GBAM. d car for don stop since or on a 20KM/hr, then d cameraman go shake the camera so tey, in components go fly comot, most cases, na d victim dey jam d car self

Real talk ma bro

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1. You know it's a Nigerian movie when in an accident scene of a car hitting a man, the man jumps on the bonnet.
2. The scene in 1 above takes place in slow motion, lol
3. You see scenes that have no relevance to the movie that are obviously to kill time so they can shoot part 2.

Wow, ! My broda's nd sistas, U guys av said it all, Which means Nigeria movies still av a long way 2go, One more tin, funny how it is, wen dey #30million was used 4 shooting of a movie, Whereby will smith use d triple of dat bringing his dog nd some pet on stage, ! NIGERIA,

When you can tell the whole story by looking at the billboard

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they have still yet to make a movie where the words god jesus or jehovah will not be part of the script

i've seen that spikey clip before. just terrible, terrible.

its only in nigerian movie that the love portion is always sweet and irresistable.
poor kids have to hawk pure water.

u will appreciate it as a naija movie when a car almost abt 2miles or a little distance from the orange seller who is trying to cross the road gets hit, she falls to d ground, he either leaves her there or take her to the hospital and later falls in love with her.

A DRIVER WILL HIT SOMEBODY ON D ROAD FOR THEM TO BE FAMILIAR WITH ONE ANOTHER,

When a housemaid throws up repeatedly, she is pregnant. Oga, Gateman or Oga Pikin is responsible and Madam is always the first person to find out.

the "accident" scene is the camera doing a zizzag movement and the car runs into a bush.
the evil person becomes a lunatic at the end
the actress wears ridiculous wigs.

this is old school

Toy plane.

funny enough, nigerians know everything yet we know nothing.
many of us can mention a-z faults in the movie industry but give it to them tomorrow, the industry will become worst.
we function better as FAULT FINDING MACHINES yet we can't afford a solution.

u know is a nollywood movie, when u watch three diff movies with the exact same cast members.

A very nice 1 spikedcylinder! U know u are watchin a Nigerian movie cos

1.  some1 jst has to cry over something OR over nothing

2.  some1 has to be slapped

3.  There jst has to be part 2,3,4 even 5

4.  The 1st disc is only about adverts

5.   To God be the glory at the end of the movie

Really pity people that watch these movies cos it has nothing to offer educationally or otherwise, retards ur I.Q, ur vocabulary etc. Only teaches u that there are so many witches & witchcraft, that wives can't never get along with their in laws, that if u dont have a kid u got problems on ur hands or if u do have a kid/kids but no male child u are in even more problem, etc , NOLLYWOOD! WAKE UP WE ARE IN A NEW CENTURY GET CREATIVE. S**T!
How do people even spend hours watchin this crap beats me!

@spiked cylinder'



is a lie. what movie was that in.

spikedcylinder:

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Abeg ma broda make u no let Hollywood c dis 1 Even Somalia no go fit even try dis 1. Inside car n inside helipcopter no be de same. Dis producer go school @ all

And oh, another thing:

You know you're watching a Nollywood film when the storyline drags on for an hour or two and then suddenly the film finishes with an unresolved, unexpected and foolish ending. Like they had to round up quickly because they ran out of production funds !!!

It must have only son, only daughter

or only child.Thats d most annoying part of it.

There are over 20 million families in Nigeria that have more than 3 male and 3 female children,
so why must all d movies centre on 'only daughter and only son, or even only child.
Thats very irritating.

Use of useless cheap cars to portray wealth.

now that toy helicopter thing is d most ludicrous  of all things I'v seen in a Naija movie, though I hardly watch them because of this annoying habit of playing the background music so high, you struggle to hear wat the heck the actors are saying , really pisses me off all the time

Lemme start from the beginning of every nollywood movies.
1. There ar too many faces on the cover of the movies, and i mean shiny faces that u wil know where ur Vaseline/Baby Oil went to.
2. The cover is crowded, every nook and cranny is over-utilized.
3. U insert it not less than 2 times to get it playin on ur DVD Player, not to talk of the various positions/angles the DVD was placed to get the desired effect.
4. The movie starts wit 'some' adverts, dont forget to turn d volume of your TV Set to the minimum, D noise from the movie is enough to tell ur neighbour 3 blocks away that a movie from Naija is beginning!!!
5. The Costume is ehn, GBAM. The color combination is another, GBAM GBAM.The hairdo, GOOD GOD!!!
6. There is no difference btw a real gunshot in real world and the sound of a door closing in a nollywood movie,
7. The cars ar always in stark contrast with the make believe residence of the actor in d movie.
8. Europe or America must be mentioned no matter the situation.It is a MUST!!!
9. Where there ar madams, there ar househelps, and a hor"ny husbands.
10. Lemme not start with Mai Guards!!!
11. Where there ar 2 or more gathered, there is FIGHT, and SLAPS!!!
12. Some body must SMOKE!!!
13. The Lightening is TOO MUCH!!!
14. Ample Display of Boobies, Socks, Mosquito bites, Twin Pure waters, Down Syndrome(lyk my fellow forumist put it), it dosent matter,FLUNT IT!!
15. The Actors ar RANDY!!!
16. Pop Eyes, Segun Arinzes
17. Police ar always takin money of some sort.
18. Excessive screeching of tires, even if the guy is in a hold up,abi?, or heavy traffic!!
19. SOMEBODY MUST MAKE HIM OR HERSELF KNOWN IN THE BACKGROUND
20. U must be given a good view of the tires of the car(as if we care its Belgium abi TOKUNBO!!) before the actor(normally bosses) comes down from the vehicle, accompanied by one useless xylophone abi soundtrack!!
21. To be continued, Really

You are in nollyland when:

A woman wears same hairstyle for 20 years
A woman wakes up in the morning with heavily made-up face
They leave their houses without locking doors(they are concious of the fact that other people like crew members are watching)
A man who looks like he can't feed himself is talking about a 20million naira deal he just struck
You can predict the end of the movie from the first scene