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(backstage)a Dwindling Love Relationship by DelRoque(m): 7:28pm On Oct 20, 2017 |
The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a
guy is in your early twenties.
The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to
figure out yourself and who you want to be.
At this age, you find it a herculean task asking
money from your parents, considering your dad will
always remind you of how he was self sufficient at
your age.
So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone
that comes from them willingly.
To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend
whom you love so much, you are 24 and she is 23.
And guys being wired to want to take control, you
are frustrated at your inability to take care of her
like you want to.
I mean where is the money? You are still jobless,
still hustling, still finding your feet. Still putting
hands into many things hoping oluwa smiles on you.
All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing
attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or
return your calls. When she finally does pick, the
call is like an interview session with those annoying
and frustrating one word replies. "Yes, no, fine,
okay, nothing."
Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse
like "wait let me close the fridge", I will call you
back. And the call never comes back.
Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is
this relationship heading to? You don't even know
where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a
relationship.
Then she drops the bombshell; tells you that she
met a guy who wants to marry her and how age
isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to
scream "But you are just 23, Can't you wait 3 more
years and let me make it."
You just hold yourself and play the good guy. You
ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question
and replies you with "He treats me well".
Well since she wasn't informing you to take
permission, she was simply telling you. You have to
be the cool guy and wish her well. One week later,
she gives you the traditional wedding card. And
then you do the maths yourself. She was talking to
the guy a long time before now. Then you realise
that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy
was getting a long epistle. You have been played!
Worse is you can't even blame her, you are just a
prospect who no one knows what will become of
your life in 4years time. Would you have made it or
not? She has gone for the real deal, someone who
has already made it.
In footballing terms, you are an "Anthony
Martial" (prospect) while the guy is a "Lionel
Messi" (has made it already). I mean you were
sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling
her to manage 10k for the weekend. No
comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak
guys go through, the ones they don't talk about.
And unceremoniously you get inducted into the
special hall of fame where members are young
guys whose childhood loves and friends or
girlfriends they thought they would end up with left
them to marry someone else.
Your heart is broken into smithereens.
In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of
not having found your path in your early twenties.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking
than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this
guy she just met 6 months ago. To make matters
worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling
you how N13 have been deducted for bank
charges. You are mad. Your N4000, is down to
N3987, rendering that N1k useless, you can only
withdraw N3k now. And that's your home and
abroad.
Can life be more unfair at this moment?
To make matters worse, she tells you that she
wants you to be the god-father to her first son.
You are livid, the plan you both made was to be
the father, god wasn't there. Why are you involving
god now? god-father huh.. is that a sort of
compensation package?
You chin it up, suck it, move on and double your
hustle. 6 years later. You are 30 now.
Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich
as you hoped you will become. You are one of the
happening guys in town. You go to a wedding. With
your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just
intimidate everyone in the hall. You are seated
scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by.
Of course, bridal train and aso ebi ladies always
show themselves. That's part of the job
description. Sampling. And you spot one, she is
beautiful, elegant and tall. You walk up to her, chat
her up. Exchange numbers and you leave.
She is 24, ripe for marriage. Three months later,
you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves
how it sounds. You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding
his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming
distant these days. Why he is getting those one
worded replies which is unlike her. Why do there
chats seem more like interview.
And fast fast, you have proposed and
simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy
that question of "Where is this relationship going
to". And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy
gets heart broken.
You see we are always going to do this to
ourselves.
So don't take it personal. |
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