Hey guys, am new here but my friend needs advice as regards a dicey issue..he is about to get married to a lady i believe he loves but the issue is, they are both working in different states, the guy is working in ondo state while the lady is working in lagos state, the previous decision was for the lady to resign after their wedding but she just got a very lucrative offer in one of d big law firms at lekki and right now its too good an offer to pass off yet she does not want a situation where she neglects her new home, kindly advice, how can they manage this situation..only reasonable advice please

Take it to family section, best place for useful advice.

How mush is his salary and the woman's salary..from there I will give my answer..

Cant say exactly but am sure the guys salary should be around 80k which is still reasonable for ondo state stuff

Marriage is all about doing what works perfectly well for the parties involved in the union. That being said, There are certain things/decisions that'd make a spouse prone to promiscuity, and living in different States of the Federation is one of such 'cause you're completely oblivious of what your spouse does over there. You may say love and faithfulness is what counts here but what of when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?. Personally, I don't think it's a good decision for new weds to be apart but to live together and grow their marriage. Travelling occasionally is a different ball game here. So on this note, no matter how attractive the salary is; she should move in with her husband where he's as they've planned and seek for a job elsewhere if she could manage the salary 'till something better comes or her husband should move over to where she's and get another job.

It's their choice. Personally I won't resign and move to Ondo state with little job opportunities, end up jobless and dependent on a man. If he was in Lagos and I am the lady in Ondo, I will gladly move.

I can't imagine that life, I would get frustrated...
He should talk to his wife, she might be different. A lot will be considered. Most importantly, their earning power and the city with better prospects.

pop50:
Hey guys, am new here but my friend needs advice as regards a dicey issue..he is about to get married to a lady i believe he loves but the issue is, they are both working in different states, the guy is working in ondo state while the lady is working in lagos state, the previous decision was for the lady to resign after their wedding but she just got a very lucrative offer in one of d big law firms at lekki and right now its too good an offer to pass off yet she does not want a situation where she neglects her new home, kindly advice, how can they manage this situation..only reasonable advice please

For your friend to even ask this question, They are both stupid and messing with harsh realities.

How much salary can one earn to sustain? In this useless country? How much salary can you possibly earn in Ondo state?

Please let him move to Lagos & Join his Wife beg !!!

pocohantas:
Their choice...personally I won't resign and move to Ondo state with little job opportunities, end up jobless and dependent on a man.

I can't imagine that life, but that's me... if he was in Lagos and I am the lady in Ondo, I will gladly move. He should talk to his wife, she might be different.

GBAM!

pop50:
Hey guys, am new here but my friend needs advice as regards a dicey issue..he is about to get married to a lady i believe he loves but the issue is, they are both working in different states, the guy is working in ondo state while the lady is working in lagos state, the previous decision was for the lady to resign after their wedding but she just got a very lucrative offer in one of d big law firms at lekki and right now its too good an offer to pass off yet she does not want a situation where she neglects her new home, kindly advice, how can they manage this situation..only reasonable advice please

.... Big matter, lagos is kinda far to my state ooooo.. But the thing is, if the wife to be salary is pretty much heavier than that of the husband to be then i'd advice bros should start thinking of porting to lagos to his bae. Cuz if he can secure a job with his certificates in ondo state at a time like this then he'd surely get a better one in lagos to be frank. So i'd advice he should start sending cv's to company(s) in Lagos before the marriage thingy. Cuz if he should forced the lady home now, e fit be the begginning of the end of the marriage cuz there are no much opportunities in my state and the lady might end up becoming a frustrated full time house wife.

truthsayer009:


For your friend to even ask this question, They are both stupid and messing with harsh realities.

How much salary can one earn to sustain? In this useless country? How much salary can you possibly earn in Ondo state?

Please let him move to Lagos & Join his Wife beg !!!

Please dont say they are stupid...just advics, datz all

Marriage is all about compromises, the lady and the guy should strike a balance.

With the job offers, I would suggest the guy quits his job and move to Lagos. But we know how situations usually be when a lady feeds a man for a month.

But never should they start the marriage living in different states, that is a huge no no

pocohantas:
Their choice...personally I won't resign and move to Ondo state with little job opportunities, end up jobless and dependent on a man. If he was in Lagos and I am the lady in Ondo, I will gladly move.

I can't imagine that life, I would get frustrated...
He should talk to his wife, she might be different. A lot will be considered, most importantly, their earning power and the city with better prospects.

So, let's assume she's a lady like you, what happens then? Kiss that marriage goodbye or ask for the man to relocate to Lagos? Would you, if you were in her shoes, be comfortable having a jobless husband? You go out everyday while he's at home waiting for you to return. And I'm addition to playing your wifely duties, you also become breadwinner for an indefinite period of time.

Would you still reverence your husband, if you were in her shoes?

PrimadonnaO:



So, let's assume she's a lady like you, what happens then? Kiss that marriage goodbye or ask for the man to relocate to Lagos? Would you, if you were in her shoes, be comfortable having a jobless husband? You go out everyday while he's at home waiting for you to return. And I'm addition to playing your wifely duties, you also become breadwinner for an indefinite period of time.

Would you still reverence your husband, if you were in her shoes?

I won't be the jobless one either, definitely not by marriage compulsion. Would he reverence me if I am jobless for an indefinite period of time? Would he reverence me when I ask for money to send to my parents every month? Would he reverence me when I ask for pad money every month?

I hope you are not deceived into thinking men that feed their wives for years are so nice and comfortable with having a jobless wife. Women only cut down their ego to take whatever he throws at them.

This is Nigeria, the only security a married woman has is her own money...without it, she has to keep praying the man doesn't stop finding her attractive. Any day he is done with her, she is out on the streets with ghana must go bag on her head.

I can't trade my security in a system with no laws to protect unemployed married women who sacrifice their careers for family. That's me, do what works for you. I won't get into such a relationship, without having all this figured out.

pop50:
Cant say exactly but am sure the guys salary should be around 80k which is still reasonable for ondo state stuff

80k in a place like Ondo is equivalent to 150k in Lagos.

Abi Explorers, I lie?

pocohantas:


I won't be the jobless one either, definitely not by marriage compulsion. Would he reverence me if I am jobless for an indefinite period of time? Would he reverence me when I ask for money to send to my parents every month? Would he reverence me when I ask for pad money every month?

I hope you are not deceived into thinking men that feed their wives for years are so nice and comfortable having a jobless wife? Women only cut down their ego to take whatever he throws at them.

This is Nigeria, the only security a married woman has is her own money...without it, she has to keep praying the man doesn't stop finding her attractive. Any day he is done with her, she is out on the streets with ghana must go bag on her head.

I can't trade my security in a system with no laws to protect unemployed married women who sacrifice their careers for family. That's me, do what works for you. I won't get into such a relationship, without having all this figured out.

Don't think I've said it before, I love you. You give me reasons to believe in the women of this yeye generation of ours. You're SMART.

The Lekki job sounds like a great opportunity, I would take it if I were her. How would she be 'neglecting her home'? If anything she'd likely be of great help to the household financially

Ishilove:

80k in a place like Ondo is equivalent to 150k in Lagos.

Abi Explorers, I lie?

Lol......150k 4 Lagos, transport go chop like 50k.

Yes you're right sis, just that there's chance of getting better offers in Lagos compared to Ondo state.

Blackhawk03:


Don't think I've said it before, I love you. You give me reasons to believe in the women of this yeye generation of ours. You're SMART.

I have seen what lack of money can do to a Nigerian wife. It's not enough to sit and complain, fix yourself. Only you can love you unconditionally. Some are genuinely nice and out to protect their unemployed wives, but I can't count on a fellow human. Provide your own needs...marriage is easier that way.

I love you too...

pop50:
Hey guys, am new here but my friend needs advice as regards a dicey issue..he is about to get married to a lady i believe he loves but the issue is, they are both working in different states, the guy is working in ondo state while the lady is working in lagos state, the previous decision was for the lady to resign after their wedding but she just got a very lucrative offer in one of d big law firms at lekki and right now its too good an offer to pass off yet she does not want a situation where she neglects her new home, kindly advice, how can they manage this situation..only reasonable advice please

they both live in Lekki nw. capish

pocohantas:


I won't be the jobless one either, definitely not by marriage compulsion. Would he reverence me if I am jobless for an indefinite period of time? Would he reverence me when I ask for money to send to my parents every month? Would he reverence me when I ask for pad money every month?

I hope you are not deceived into thinking men that feed their wives for years are so nice and comfortable with having a jobless wife? Women only cut down their ego to take whatever he throws at them.

This is Nigeria, the only security a married woman has is her own money...without it, she has to keep praying the man doesn't stop finding her attractive. Any day he is done with her, she is out on the streets with ghana must go bag on her head.

I can't trade my security in a system with no laws to protect unemployed married women who sacrifice their careers for family. That's me, do what works for you. I won't get into such a relationship, without having all this figured out.

We all know the pros and cons, of course. But a situation is before the OP. I just wanted to get your stance on it. You'll walk away.

pop50:
80k which is still reasonable for ondo state stuff

Hei God , Ondo ooo

From the look of things, the wife has a better income. The man should move.

Benita27:
Marriage is all about doing what works perfectly well for the parties involved in the union. That being said, There are certain things/decisions that'd make a spouse prone to promiscuity, and living in different States of the Federation is one of such 'cause you're completely oblivious of what your spouse does over there. You may say love and faithfulness is what counts here but what of when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?. Personally, I don't think it's a good decision for new weds to be apart but to live together and grow their marriage. Travelling occasionally is a different ball game here. So on this note, no matter how attractive the salary is; she should move in with her husband where he's as they've planned and seek for a job elsewhere if she could manage the salary 'till something better comes or her husband should move over to where she's and get another job.

Her husband getting a job in Lagos is d best bet.

The issue here is very simple,understanding is what really matter among the two couple,I won't adivce the wife to resign, and come to ondo state,nothing is happening here,but cost of living here is very cheap, if the mman is doing government work here, it should continue, the wife will be coming around,why the man also will be visitng his wife in also also, when they have kids, it is very simple and easy for the lady, she wnt be alone, take it or leave it we all need to work and make good leaving, even if it is outside nigeria , because right now, the question is just be doing good.

Hmmm....

PrimadonnaO:


We all know the pros and cons, of course. But a situation is before the OP. I just wanted to get your stance on it. You'll walk away.

I wouldn't be in a relationship where I am expected to resign and become a housewife in Ondo state... Maybe you missed my closing sentence.

PrimadonnaO:


We all know the pros and cons, of course. But a situation is before the OP. I just wanted to get your stance on it. You'll walk away.

To be more realistic in this issue. Leaving someone is easier said than done, generally. A good wife is hard to find these days. It's quite easy to have a random side chick and have sex, but wife material is hard to get.

Me i can't leave someone I love because of Ondo to Lagos distance.

I have two colleagues that their wives are working in Ghana. They have to visit Ghana every 2 weeks. Ondo state is not far from Lagos. Its just a 6 Hours Journey !

Worst scenario is, In the meantime. Husband should be posting his CV to companies in Lagos & making connects with hope to relocate to Lagos.

truthsayer009:


To be more realistic in this issue. Leaving someone is easier said than done, generally. A good wife is hard to find these days. It's quite easy to have a random side chick and have sex, but wife material is hard to get.

Me i can't leave someone I love because of Ondo to Lagos distance.

I have two colleagues that their wives are working in Ghana. They have to visit Ghana every 2 weeks. Ondo state is not far from Lagos. Its just a 6 Hours Journey !

Worst scenario is, In the meantime. Husband should be posting his CV to companies in Lagos & making connects with hope to relocate to Lagos.

But some people just don't understand that. Finding someone good enough for you to spend eternity with isn't easy. It's a pot of gold! And it would come with sacrifices.