My story is quite long.. so i've been married for 12years now, with 2 kids..

My marriage is not what i expect.. Ever since i got married its been one issue or other, i work, my wife works too, but am the woman in the marriage, maybe because i loved her too much, i come home early before her, on my way to work i drop off the kids, that i wouldnt complain cos their school is same road to the hospital, as a doctor sometimes i have a patient to attend to, but when it gets to 3pm i have to rush pick them,

note: i used to pay for cab to carry them, but they were kidnapped last year so I decided to do all my self, now my wife always refuse me to have sex with her, this was so serious that there was a time she refused me sex for one full year, i nearly went mad, for no reason, she either gives me one excuse or the other, i don't want to think she's cheating, i get back home sometimes no food to eat, she comes back no food, during the weekend she doesnt cook, i do the cooking atimes cos the kids will be hungry, fast food became my second kitchen, the marriage is cold.


we have no communication, have tried to make things work but all to no avail, she does things on her own, my own wife bought a land, she didnt tell me, until the foundation started, when i confronted, she told me she has already bought, that it makes no difference, we have a maid that works with us too, but everyday i have to be the one to wake up the kids, bath them and prepare them for school.


the only thing keeping us is the kids, i got her a car lexus, but shes not satisfied, cos her friends at work drives range rover she keeps disturbing me, reminding me of how her friends talks big big things about their husband, but i have nothing to show, that the car i bought for her is old, she's the only one driving lexus, that am not man enough, To an extent she stop driving her Lexus, that instead of driving the car she'd rather take a cab, i go to work in the morning, drop the kids, pick them at 3pm, then after work i will go and pick her at work, this stressed me out, on daily basis..

she portrayed me low before her friends, i was so depressed, i lost it, my BP was high, aside my life i sacrificed everything to make sure my home is happy, i started drinking heavily cos of this pressures, i kept talking to her but she feels like am not doing enough, she go about telling my inlaws that all i do is to drink, what else will a doctor with 700k salary do, sometimes when she's cooking we run out of gas, she will pause the food, and wait for me till i come back home no matter the time, she has the money, but she wont, even though i will still pay her back.

So in the mist of my pressures i met a girl, and everything about me changed, this girl brought me out from drinking with friends, unlike before now i eat in the morning, and after work, she makes me happy, i feel like a king when am with her, some of the things i cant discus with my wife, i do with her, i trust her, i feel whole with her, all my life i never for once realize my sex drive was this high, but with this girl its like i have everything, As a married man am supposed to feel guilty after sex with someone else, but with her i don't..

Look before i had no plan, all i do with my salary is to spend it at home, but this girl has taught me how to invest, How to set aside money for business and all, She has bought me over. Before her no one cared about me, my wife only call me when she doesn't see me till 9pm.

She makes me feel like a man, when am at work, all i think of is her, now i try to do the things i do with wife at home, but not working, this year i havent slept with my wife more than 4 times, thats after spending half of the night begging, Note; in our 12years of marriage she has never asked for sex, for how long will i beg my own wife for sex, i can't continue begging her, c'mon

Its so painful that i have this girl but we cant be the way we want, tho she understands, and she's the kind of girl that doesnt wanna get married, as she's very focused on her career, am thinking of getting a divorce or separation soon, cos my happiness matter alot to me, i dont know what would have happened to me by now, i realized how much i love this girl, when she once told me shes breaking up, cos she cant continue dating a married man, i lost it, immediately it was like am falling back to an ocean, i cant let her go, she and my kids is all i have..

I don't know how to go about this, society will think its because of a girl, but until u get married dont judge, and dont rush into it..

Forgive my errors, am busy.

.

Hmm..

You are reducing the length of your life by remaining in a toxic marriage
I doubt counseling will work but you guys should try it.

Personally, I will get an assurance from the new girl before I think of divorce. Then I will go ahead

Who my wife help?



I go pack my kids with the new girl commot go another state then start a new life

In Nigeria!

A "NEW" Man or woman in everyone's life is always the best!

Possibly, your current wife spiritually poured "Yoruba stew" on your brain that made you to be that tolerance in such marriage in the name of LOVE!


If you don't LOVE her anymore,
If you feel you've got no feelings for her anymore,
If you feel you now LOVE the new lady!

You know what to do.... Do what you re suppose to do in a LEGAL way.

Divorce the wife... Perhaps her eyes will clear then. Don't go die because of some ungrateful wife abeg... You die before ur time and she moves on.

Now in this case, I preach the great divorce... Your marriage is unfixable, let her go meet the Range Rover buyers. Aàdojutini aya

Since u tried talking 2 ha nd she didn't listen den divorce her.she may be cheating on u self

This is serious.abeg before you divorce your wife make sure your side chick is ready to take her place because of your kids.

Only me can feel your pain op. Trust me on that. Now hear my words.




Continue bashing the new girl. If she leaves bash another one. In fact get enough to alternate your bashing. Allow the wife to continue living her fake married life.


Your own even better. I know a guy,his wife doesn't work. But in the past 3 months she has spent over 2 million. On what? Clothes,parties and mumu philanthropy work. So calm down. And stay away from her. If possible go another room.make she no kill you. But dont divorce. E go affect the kids

This Doc is not manly

Now listen... Call ur wife, Tell her everything u feel about ur relationship. Do it in a very serious way. Let her know what u want. Infact if u can threaten her, DO IT.

Let her know if she didn't stop, She should wait for your actions. Try to make her realise her mistakes.


After this, you have to be extra careful. If possible relocate ur children before u start this. If she realise what she did, she will apologise. If she is dumb, she will talk to some bad friends who will give her bad advice (that's why u have to be extra careful).


Her reactions after will let u understand she has changed or u need to send her away

Thought i haven't heard from the other spouse, i think both of you need counseling.
As for u, stop killing yourself gradually cos d moment u die which i don't pray for, dis woman wil waste no time in jumping into d arms of dat other man she probably prefers.
Think of ur kids future. What will become of them. What about ur service to humanity?
This is how some women behave. When they are single they fast and pray for a husband and when they are married they don't want to stay. Some have frustrated men to the extent their life will turn upside down.
Wen dem don send their God-given husband to early grave or jail, dem go they scheme to take another woman own.
My guy, nor die leave ur life.

if this is true,kick that ungrateful animal out of your house! your kids do not need to see that attitude if not they will also start disrespecting you just like their mother! abeg channel love love and emotions to your kids that woman no deserve jack from you! QED!

You have my blessings @op.Marriage should make you fulfilled and happy, not depressed. Get a divorce and move on. You guys were never operating on the same wavelenght.
.
I know your wife would live to regret it.A lot of women feel once they have gotten the man to marry them ,they are now free to relax and act as they like. Many starts treating their man like trash, forgetting that staying married requires more efforts than was required while dating. Even the ones pounding yam during courtship will start serving their husband tea and bread for lunch.
.
There is a limit to what a good man can swallow. Most women take their men for granted because they feel the man can never cheat. Hehehehehe, that's where they miss it o. I don't blame you @op.If i don't cook nor have see.xx with my husband, i won't blame him for getting it elsewhere.
.
Those are basic needs of a man that his woman has to cater to. If she doesn't, the marriage is bound to be an unhappy one. Move on with your life biko life is too short to be unhappy!

you should try and stay single atleast for a while to cool your head..

maybe send her packing for 6months so that she will realize her mistakes..
I think her mission is to waste you ..
don't be avail

QueenSekxy:
you should try and stay single atleast for a while to cool your head..


maybe send her packing for 6months so that she will realize her mistakes..

I think her mission is to waste you ..

don't be avail

Yes, have some marital sabbatical and see if she will change.

Please don't divorce because of God and the children.

Very silly behaviour if true.

Although your story be as e get sha .......especially the part of 700k..........But what do I know



However, It's so obvious that you have done the best you can, at least based on what you've written here. Although that might change should your wife get an opportunity to post something about the marriage too.

You should be happy that you have found peace in another woman's bossom. At least you will be able to regain your sanity, which will help you think through the decisions you're about to take.

Most spouses don't even have the faintest of idea of why they're married or what marriage entails. And inspite of the stories we hear everyday, it is quite surprising that most people will never learn. Your wife is one of such spouses. When you begin to compare your spouse to others outside, just know you have started the work of pulling down your own home with your beautiful hands.

Nonetheless, It takes 2 to tango. I am one who believes that there's no such thing as a bad man/woman, because every bad man/woman was made bad by a bad man/woman.

What role have you played in turning your wife into the monster she currently is?
What guarantee do you have that the new woman won't turn worse than the former?

One life lesson: "You are a major contributor to whatever position you find yourself in life."

Didn't know Nigeria doctors are paid as high as 700k per month.

queenfav:
You have my blessings @op.Marriage should make you fulfilled and happy, not depressed. Get a divorce and move on. You guys were never operating on the same wavelenght.
.
I know your wife would live to regret it.A lot of women feel once they have gotten the man to marry them ,they are now free to relax and act as they like. Many starts treating their man like trash, forgetting that staying married requires more efforts than was required while dating. Even the ones pounding yam during courtship will start serving their husband tea and bread for lunch.
.
There is a limit to what a good man can swallow. Most women take their men for granted because they feel the man can never cheat. Hehehehehe, that's where they miss it o. I don't blame you @op.If i don't cook nor have see.xx with my husband, i won't blame him for getting it elsewhere.
.
Those are basic needs of a man that his woman has to cater to. If she doesn't, the marriage is bound to be an unhappy one. Move on with your life biko life is too short to be unhappy!

Tell them

Thanks a lot for this advice

You are super, I'm quite sure your hubby is enjoying to the rim

if this is true then am telling you some women really take for granted good men. Can you imagine a man you should cherish and take good care of and make him feel so loved.

I swear i have never heard of any male doctor that gives so much time for his family.

Something must have gone wrong somewhere, because a woman in her right senses won't treat this kind of man this kind of way. Probably may be you did something wrong to her that you didn't know,cause its just crazy how can a woman behave this way.

I think you need to teach her a lesson. Love that girl an make her see what she has lost, but please make sure your children are safe cos they matter the most.

Hahahaha fake ass story. Doc on 700k salary. Oh please

Just curious. Are you a consultant/surgeon. I don't think doctors earn up to 500k.... What federal health institution pays that much for a medical officer

yeyerolling:
Hahahaha fake ass story. Doc on 700k salary. Oh please

Exactly. Doctors don't earn much. I am one so I know. At best they are comfortable.

What can I say?
This got me speechless

blogreporter:
My story is quite long.. so i've been married for 12years now, with 2 kids..

My marriage is not what i expect.. Ever since i got married its been one issue or other, i work, my wife works too, but am the woman in the marriage, maybe because i loved her too much, i come home early before her, on my way to work i drop off the kids, that i wouldnt complain cos their school is same road to the hospital, as a doctor sometimes i have a patient to attend to, but when it gets to 3pm i have to rush pick them,

note: i used to pay for cab to carry them, but they were kidnapped last year so I decided to do all my self, now my wife always refuse me to have sex with her, this was so serious that there was a time she refused me sex for one full year, i nearly went mad, for no reason, she either gives me one excuse or the other, i don't want to think she's cheating, i get back home sometimes no food to eat, she comes back no food, during the weekend she doesnt cook, i do the cooking atimes cos the kids will be hungry, fast food became my second kitchen, the marriage is cold.


we have no communication, have tried to make things work but all to no avail, she does things on her own, my own wife bought a land, she didnt tell me, until the foundation started, when i confronted, she told me she has already bought, that it makes no difference, we have a maid that works with us too, but everyday i have to be the one to wake up the kids, bath them and prepare them for school.


the only thing keeping us is the kids, i got her a car lexus, but shes not satisfied, cos her friends at work drives range rover she keeps disturbing me, reminding me of how her friends talks big big things about their husband, but i have nothing to show, that the car i bought for her is old, she's the only one driving lexus, that am not man enough, To an extent she stop driving her Lexus, that instead of driving the car she'd rather take a cab, i go to work in the morning, drop the kids, pick them at 3pm, then after work i will go and pick her at work, this stressed me out, on daily basis..

she portrayed me low before her friends, i was so depressed, i lost it, my BP was high, aside my life i sacrificed everything to make sure my home is happy, i started drinking heavily cos of this pressures, i kept talking to her but she feels like am not doing enough, she go about telling my inlaws that all i do is to drink, what else will a doctor with 700k salary do, sometimes when she's cooking we run out of gas, she will pause the food, and wait for me till i come back home no matter the time, she has the money, but she wont, even though i will still pay her back.

So in the mist of my pressures i met a girl, and everything about me changed, this girl brought me out from drinking with friends, unlike before now i eat in the morning, and after work, she makes me happy, i feel like a king when am with her, some of the things i cant discus with my wife, i do with her, i trust her, i feel whole with her, all my life i never for once realize my sex drive was this high, but with this girl its like i have everything, As a married man am supposed to feel guilty after sex with someone else, but with her i don't..

Look before i had no plan, all i do with my salary is to spend it at home, but this girl has taught me how to invest, How to set aside money for business and all, She has bought me over. Before her no one cared about me, my wife only call me when she doesn't see me till 9pm.

She makes me feel like a man, when am at work, all i think of is her, now i try to do the things i do with wife at home, but not working, this year i havent slept with my wife more than 4 times, thats after spending half of the night begging, Note; in our 12years of marriage she has never asked for sex, for how long will i beg my own wife for sex, i can't continue begging her, c'mon

Its so painful that i have this girl but we cant be the way we want, tho she understands, and she's the kind of girl that doesnt wanna get married, as she's very focused on her career, am thinking of getting a divorce or separation soon, cos my happiness matter alot to me, i dont know what would have happened to me by now, i realized how much i love this girl, when she once told me shes breaking up, cos she cant continue dating a married man, i lost it, immediately it was like am falling back to an ocean, i cant let her go, she and my kids is all i have..

I don't know how to go about this, society will think its because of a girl, but until u get married dont judge, and dont rush into it..

Forgive my errors, am busy.

Dear Op,

I would advise you call your wives family members/yours and table the whole thing that has been going on in your home to them with proof,tell them to please talk to her that you love and would still want the marriage to work.

Peradventure she does not change,i'll advise you give her some some and let her be.I'm sure she would come back to her senses.How on earth would you be begging for sex from a woman you got married to?That's unheard of!As a matter of fact the whole thing is making me angry.And i suppose the whole story you wrote is nothing but the truth?If not lets hear your wives one tale.

On the other hand hanging out with the other lady who is making you happy is wrong,but as it is she's the only one making you happy and keeping you in a positive state of mind.

Emotionless100:



Tell them

Thanks a lot for this advice

You are super, I'm quite sure your hubby is enjoying to the rim

thanks bro.

boiz2men:
Just curious. Are you a consultant/surgeon. I don't think doctors earn up to 500k.... What federal health institution pays that much for a medical officer

Blackhawk01:

My before before gf.. How is u

Your marriage is toxic, you need to separate with your wife for a while but be wary of that girl, girls that date married men are after money, when you marry them, they show you their true colour.