blogreporter:
My story is quite long.. so i've been married for 12years now, with 2 kids..

My marriage is not what i expect.. Ever since i got married its been one issue or other, i work, my wife works too, but am the woman in the marriage, maybe because i loved her too much, i come home early before her, on my way to work i drop off the kids, that i wouldnt complain cos their school is same road to the hospital, as a doctor sometimes i have a patient to attend to, but when it gets to 3pm i have to rush pick them,

note: i used to pay for cab to carry them, but they were kidnapped last year so I decided to do all my self, now my wife always refuse me to have sex with her, this was so serious that there was a time she refused me sex for one full year, i nearly went mad, for no reason, she either gives me one excuse or the other, i don't want to think she's cheating, i get back home sometimes no food to eat, she comes back no food, during the weekend she doesnt cook, i do the cooking atimes cos the kids will be hungry, fast food became my second kitchen, the marriage is cold.


we have no communication, have tried to make things work but all to no avail, she does things on her own, my own wife bought a land, she didnt tell me, until the foundation started, when i confronted, she told me she has already bought, that it makes no difference, we have a maid that works with us too, but everyday i have to be the one to wake up the kids, bath them and prepare them for school.


the only thing keeping us is the kids, i got her a car lexus, but shes not satisfied, cos her friends at work drives range rover she keeps disturbing me, reminding me of how her friends talks big big things about their husband, but i have nothing to show, that the car i bought for her is old, she's the only one driving lexus, that am not man enough, To an extent she stop driving her Lexus, that instead of driving the car she'd rather take a cab, i go to work in the morning, drop the kids, pick them at 3pm, then after work i will go and pick her at work, this stressed me out, on daily basis..

she portrayed me low before her friends, i was so depressed, i lost it, my BP was high, aside my life i sacrificed everything to make sure my home is happy, i started drinking heavily cos of this pressures, i kept talking to her but she feels like am not doing enough, she go about telling my inlaws that all i do is to drink, what else will a doctor with 700k salary do, sometimes when she's cooking we run out of gas, she will pause the food, and wait for me till i come back home no matter the time, she has the money, but she wont, even though i will still pay her back.

So in the mist of my pressures i met a girl, and everything about me changed, this girl brought me out from drinking with friends, unlike before now i eat in the morning, and after work, she makes me happy, i feel like a king when am with her, some of the things i cant discus with my wife, i do with her, i trust her, i feel whole with her, all my life i never for once realize my sex drive was this high, but with this girl its like i have everything, As a married man am supposed to feel guilty after sex with someone else, but with her i don't..

Look before i had no plan, all i do with my salary is to spend it at home, but this girl has taught me how to invest, How to set aside money for business and all, She has bought me over. Before her no one cared about me, my wife only call me when she doesn't see me till 9pm.

She makes me feel like a man, when am at work, all i think of is her, now i try to do the things i do with wife at home, but not working, this year i havent slept with my wife more than 4 times, thats after spending half of the night begging, Note; in our 12years of marriage she has never asked for sex, for how long will i beg my own wife for sex, i can't continue begging her, c'mon

Its so painful that i have this girl but we cant be the way we want, tho she understands, and she's the kind of girl that doesnt wanna get married, as she's very focused on her career, am thinking of getting a divorce or separation soon, cos my happiness matter alot to me, i dont know what would have happened to me by now, i realized how much i love this girl, when she once told me shes breaking up, cos she cant continue dating a married man, i lost it, immediately it was like am falling back to an ocean, i cant let her go, she and my kids is all i have..

I don't know how to go about this, society will think its because of a girl, but until u get married dont judge, and dont rush into it..

Forgive my errors, am busy.

If you are Muslim, take her as second wife. If you are Christian, divorce your first wife and marry her. Trust me, your wife want you to file that divorce paper, surprise her before she surprise you.

Only few people will relate with this story. Sorry man only the married ones will understand, some women are just too difficult to please... Stay with who makes you happy and not the one that you always struggle to please. I will advise you to separate from your wife in order to discover yourself, if she comes to her senses you can take her back.

I think you should give her space, not necessarily a divorce. May be you can move out of the house for sometimes and watch if she would change. Divorce should be the last option after you have tried everything and it doesn't work. I'm just concerned about the psychological effect divorce will have on your kids, your new woman may be very nice to your kids at the moment, but wait till she becomes a legal wife, most women tend to hide their real character till after marriage. Move out of the house, stay with a friend or if you can afford hotel lodge in an hotel for some weeks and watch her reaction

Why stay in a toxic marriage? And the girl that is making you feel like a king, wait till you married then you will know her true colours.

Rokia2:
Why stay in a toxic marriage? And the girl that is making you feel like a king, wait till you married then you will know her true colours.

Thats true too. He's enjoying the honey moon phase with this new girl, but it won't last forever. She might even turn out to be worse than his wife. I guess life is just a risk.

See lemme be plain with you.

Ur wife behaves dat way cos she knows ur soft n you made ur life revolve around her so she can behave anihw or she has another man xumwia else.

I don't want you to divorce ur wife without her feeling the pains,dahl be 2 easy. So from now just be ignoring her,don't even care or concern urslf with woh she does or how she lives her life,care for ur children,tk dem out (just you n dem),be happy,n don't even beg her for common kiss.

Trust me she'll feel the pain n rejection. Cos most ladies hv fish brain.
Den finally divorce her,don't push her out o,throw her away(Keyword: Throw)

Safiaa:
Thats true too. He's enjoying the honey moon phase with this new girl, but it won't last forever. She might even turn out to be worse than his wife. I guess life is just a risk.

She may or she may not either way she's def not going to always be this person she is right now.

Because right now there's definitely no challenges in their relationship. They are in the dating stage and with marriage comes reality. Right now even him is on his best behaviour. She don't know the ugly side of him but the wife does because she's married to him. And obviously the side chick is gonna show the best part of herself also. Because her mission is to make him fall madly in love with her. And not forgetting they don't have kids. Right now they are only experiencing the beauty and pleasure of been in love.

Rokia2:


She may or she may not either way she's def not going to always be this person she is right now.

Because right now there's definitely no challenges in their relationship. They are in the dating stage and with marriage comes reality. Right now even him is on his best behaviour. She don't know the ugly side of him but the wife does because she's married to him. And obviously the side chick is gonna show the best part of herself also. Because her mission is to make him fall madly in love with her. And not forgetting they don't have kids. Right now they are only experiencing the beauty and pleasure of been in love.

Exactly. And we can only hear his side of the story. We don't know if he's as innocent as he claims. Because on his part, he's been the most perfect husband and she's been giving him problems from the beginning. Anyways, whatever he decides to do, i hope he finds happiness in the end.

Safiaa:
Exactly. And we can only hear his side of the story. We don't know if he's as innocent as he claims. Because on his part, he's been the most perfect husband and she's been giving him problems from the beginning. Anyways, whatever he decides to do, i hope he finds happiness in the end.

Safiaa:
Exactly. And we can only hear his side of the story. We don't know if he's as innocent as he claims. Because on his part, he's been the most perfect husband and she's been giving him problems from the beginning. Anyways, whatever he decides to do, i hope he finds happiness in the end.

Yep most times we are blinded by our own faults.

Why is this your girlfriend suspicious to me? why will she want to leave you? is it to test your love for her? I bet you knelt down crying and begging. if you think if you leave your wife, you will have all the time for your girlfriend, I have a news flash for you. YOUR GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T WANT A HUSBAND, NEITHER DOES SHE WANT A 24HR EVER PRESENT BOYFRIEND. 12 years from today, you would still create another thread about an evil girlfriend you left your wife for.

Do something about yourself, I don't know what, but relying on someone else's love to be able to live is dangerous. What do you intend to do with the kids sef

@ op, I can relate Very well with your plight. 80% of people around me had and are still passing through that phase which made me to question their sincerity when advising me years back to marry. Most responsdents, here, have given you good advice. Moreover, my advice- I don't know your tribe but will presume that you are an african. In Yoruba custom, it is enshrined that a man or woman does not actually marry his/her spouse but his/her spouse's relatives. Report her to one of her family members that respects you preferrably a man or her mother. You can continue enjoying your self with the lady. However if you are to separate with your wife, you must stop having any contact with the lady first (not because she may be a gold digger but because a pseudo-angel will always make a little devil looks like a great demon). Your perception is befubbled now and you must clear your view before taking great step.

Failed Marriage
U got married to Material woman,Eye for riches... with load of friends and 3rd parties
Broken marriage

OP is a bloody liar! This isn't your story, it's up on joros blog on the gram. One would even think it's truly your story as you didn't gove any credit. Hungry bloggers that will do anything to feed.

boiz2men:


My before before gf.. How is u

Shert! You kee the girl finish lol

now this scares me,with all your love affection and money, women are strange, this scares me as a bachelor

boyjo:


Shert! You kee the girl finish lol

She understands. Is so we talk... Blackhawk01 my yeye mosquito.. Is you vexing

Person go just open im two eyes and marry a demonic woman.and dat ur 700k a month salary as a doctor...doctors in naija dont earn as much as dat oo.

Let's hear the woman story too. I don't trust married peeps like that. They can come up with all sort of stories about their partners to move out of the marriage

lefulefu:
Person go just open im two eyes and marry a demonic woman.and dat ur 700k a month salary as a doctor...doctors in naija dont earn as much as dat oo.

did you hear her own side ofthee story

lefulefu:
Person go just open im two eyes and marry a demonic woman.and dat ur 700k a month salary as a doctor...doctors in naija dont earn as much as dat oo.

yeyerolling:
Hahahaha fake ass story. Doc on 700k salary. Oh please

boiz2men:
Just curious. Are you a consultant/surgeon. I don't think doctors earn up to 500k.... What federal health institution pays that much for a medical officer

I know of a doctor that earns 900k per month in Edo state

If what you all what you wrote is true, I'm shocked you still with your wife.

Marriage is not to be endured, divorce her not because of your new chic, but for your own rest of mind.

boiz2men:


Exactly. Doctors don't earn much. I am one so I know. At best they are comfortable.

And doctors working in spdc and chevron hospital won't earn up to this u mean?

my bro,I understand your pains,some married men are in the same shoe with you but refused to act just because of children in the marriage. though my own is not as bad as your own, aside the restrictions from sex from my wife other aspect is better I think.

my wife complains of being tired all the time,if I make love to my wife twice a month am lucky,that will be after fighting or begging. she will never initiated sex,or ask for it.
I fell in love like that for a lady in the past but i later reset my brain otherwise I would have divorced my wife.

talk to your wife one on one if it doesn't work,report to anyone she respects.if it fails then do the below.

look for a working class single mother of two or three who is not under pressure to remarry to date.enjoy yourself and forget about your wife.leave all the house matter to her.but be finacilly responsible to your children. she will come around later to seek settlement.

if it doesn't come for settlement see separation not divorce.divorce should be a last resort because of your children.

slydog:


And doctors working in spdc and chevron hospital won't earn up to this u mean?

I Cant say but consultants do.

emeijeh:






I know of a doctor that earns 900k per month in Edo state

If he isnt a consultant bro it's a lie. I was in Benin before coming to lag . only tou big fed hospital there. Ubth and Irrua and they can't pay more than luth

@blogreporter


Ur story seems suspect sha, though I can relate.


They're all d same joor.

Just man up!? No one tells u what to do, if u take care of ur responsibilities. Call her bluff, she doesnt improve, u get out! Ur kids will grow n leave home, wtf will u then be left with!


Dont get married again, live-in lover patapata! A ring on a lady's hand is a game changer.

That, d love of ur life, needs a husband n has started her own manipulation, beware bro.


Seems u're not close to ur mom or she's not been around?

U've got d funds, invest it wisely(properties) n chop d life of ur head


If u can afford it, u'll always av a love of ur life, for d rest of ur life!

boiz2men:


I Cant say but consultants do.

My aunt is a nurse in chevron, two kids in turkey and she's living good

slydog:


My aunt is a nurse in chevron, two kids in turkey and she's living good

She has a husband na. Besides. Medical practice has ranks.

Meanwhile doc in the army and oil industry earn more

boiz2men:


My before before gf.. How is u

Before before gini? You're still mine ooo, you can't spend your salary alone biko.

She understands. Is so we talk... Blackhawk01 my yeye mosquito.. Is you vexing[/quote]

Vex keh?

Not when we ain't done sharing your salary biko...

Uncle gbeborun should mind his business too

boiz2men:



If he isnt a consultant bro it's a lie. I was in Benin before coming to lag . only tou big fed hospital there. Ubth and Irrua and they can't pay more than luth

Of course he is a consultant.
Bottom line is, he is a doctor, and he earns more than Op

koolJ1:
OP is a bloody liar! This isn't your story, it's up on joros blog on the gram. One would even think it's truly your story as you didn't gove any credit. Hungry bloggers that will do anything to feed.

Really