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10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read - Career - Nairaland

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10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Dandsome: 11:53am On Oct 31, 2017
These days, bosses can give people work for Africa. And as the economy be, no bode de send you to even give you extra pay. Well, man no go kill himself as body no be fire wood.

Below or items to do in the office to show you`re working.

Pray your boss is not a Nairalander, if not all I`ll say is ABORT MISSION grin grin grin

Here we go:-

1. Never walk around without a document:
People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they are headed for the cafeteria. People with newspapers in their hands look like they are headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.

2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. (Never you use your phone to do office work in the office. No matter how sleek and fine your HTC, Phantom 8, iPhoneX or Xiaomi phone is) You can send and receive personal e-mail, update Facebook status, chat and have a blast on Twitter and other social networks without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they are not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will get caught - your best defence is to claim that you are teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Have a messy desk:
Only top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile papers and files high and wide. Not all things should be kept carelessly o. If you use N128k to buy the phantom 8, nobody needs to tell you to be careful with it. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Don’t always pick your call and use voicemail:
Rarely pick your call and use voicemail most times. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to do work for them. That is no way to live. Screen all your calls through voicemail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they are not there - it looks like you are hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Look impatient and annoyed:
According to George Costanza, you should always try to look impatient and annoyed to give off the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. (Not too late o before the bad guys will rob you of your new iPhone or your samsung Note 8 on your way home. That is if you live in bad neighborhood. Unless you drive home.). You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.


7. Creative sighing for effect:

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Have a stacking strategy:
It's not enough to pile documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor (thick computer manuals are the best), etc.

9. Build your vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember; they don't have to understand what you are saying, but you sure sound impressive.

10. Do not forward this to your boss:
Except you have found a new job, do not forward this Gospel to your boss by mistake.


Add yours

61 Likes 5 Shares

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Yinxies(f): 1:07pm On Oct 31, 2017
Do whtsapp web. You will look so busy and concentrated grin

FTC again.

24 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by pmc01(m): 3:02pm On Oct 31, 2017
grin cheesy grin cheesy

"America will know".

Na only God go forgive who compile this kain list and to imagine it's in a serious tone. shocked lipsrsealed

7 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by chicwoman(f): 4:05pm On Oct 31, 2017
Nice one
That Iphone one is very important
Imagine buying the new phantom 8 and having it stolen
Dandsome:
These days, bosses can give people work for Africa. And as the economy be, no bode de send you to even give you extra pay. Well, man no go kill himself as body no be fire wood.

Below or items to do in the office to show you`re working.

Pray your boss is not a Nairalander, if not all I`ll say is ABORT MISSION grin grin grin

Here we go:-

1. Never walk around without a document:
People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they are headed for the cafeteria. People with newspapers in their hands look like they are headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.

2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. (Never you use your phone to do office work in the office. No matter how sleek and fine your HTC, Phantom 8, iPhoneX or Xiaomi phone is) You can send and receive personal e-mail, update Facebook status, chat and have a blast on Twitter and other social networks without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they are not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will get caught - your best defence is to claim that you are teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Have a messy desk:
Only top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile papers and files high and wide. Not all things should be kept carelessly o. If you use N128k to buy the phantom 8, nobody needs to tell you to be careful with it. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Don’t always pick your call and use voicemail:
Rarely pick your call and use voicemail most times. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to do work for them. That is no way to live. Screen all your calls through voicemail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they are not there - it looks like you are hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Look impatient and annoyed:
According to George Costanza, you should always try to look impatient and annoyed to give off the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. (Not too late o before the bad guys will rob you of your new iPhone or your samsung Note 8 on your way home. That is if you live in bad neighborhood. Unless you drive home.). You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.


7. Creative sighing for effect:

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Have a stacking strategy:
It's not enough to pile documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor (thick computer manuals are the best), etc.

9. Build your vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember; they don't have to understand what you are saying, but you sure sound impressive.

10. Do not forward this to your boss:
Except you have found a new job, do not forward this Gospel to your boss by mistake.


Add yours
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by HeWrites(m): 6:44am On Nov 01, 2017
.
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by tstx(m): 6:45am On Nov 01, 2017
messy desk... lol

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Ericardo7(m): 6:45am On Nov 01, 2017
Lol

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by WeirdWolf: 6:46am On Nov 01, 2017
Pretence. Who e epp?
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Austema(m): 6:48am On Nov 01, 2017
Op, dont you think that this is a threat to effective productivity? Thank God I see this post, because am a boss

2 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by HisMajesty1: 6:48am On Nov 01, 2017
This made me laugh hard this morning. .. The author of this write-up is not well at all.

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by sunbbo(m): 6:52am On Nov 01, 2017
Humm.! Lazy dude, there you have it...


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Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by cyborg123(m): 6:52am On Nov 01, 2017
grin

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by djeezy(m): 6:56am On Nov 01, 2017
Funny. Nice one though.

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by bigtalla(m): 6:57am On Nov 01, 2017
All of these efforts just to look busy? I’ll rather get busy.

8 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Mannylex(m): 7:03am On Nov 01, 2017
Funny stuff. The truth of the matter is that this things work... Those that often form busy/ activities sometimes get promoted even before the actual busy ones. The fact is that the office ground is a polity and it takes not just hardwork, but Wisdom and a bit of loyalty.

P:S : Hardwork still pays regardless.

2 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by apharm(m): 7:04am On Nov 01, 2017
This is eye service in the highest order. It could backfire

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Filmewell(f): 7:04am On Nov 01, 2017
It sure looks like my supervisor read this article always shouting at those doing the work

2 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Sniper4real(m): 7:05am On Nov 01, 2017
Austema:
Op, dont you think that this is a threat to effective productivity? Thank God I see this post, because am a boss

Lol.

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by kingsley3218(m): 7:06am On Nov 01, 2017
Hahahaha......the more reason why if i'm a boss,i'll always give the hard jobs to the lazy ones cos I know they'll always look for shortcuts to get the job done without stressing their brains.

6 Likes

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by pat077: 7:07am On Nov 01, 2017
Welldone sir

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Japhet04(m): 7:25am On Nov 01, 2017
apharm:
This is eye service in the highest order. It could backfire
nope I don't think so, there's hardly any situation where this could backfire wink

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by lenghtinny(m): 7:29am On Nov 01, 2017
Una wan carry fake life enter office environment..

Na your salary go hear am angry
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by agabusta: 7:29am On Nov 01, 2017
Yinxies:
Do whtsapp web. You will look so busy and concentrated grin

FTC again.

Supported with some serious typing, no one can doubt your busyness grin

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by eodavids(m): 7:39am On Nov 01, 2017
Dandsome:
These days, bosses can give people work for Africa. And as the economy be, no bode de send you to even give you extra pay. Well, man no go kill himself as body no be fire wood.

Below or items to do in the office to show you`re working.

Pray your boss is not a Nairalander, if not all I`ll say is ABORT MISSION grin grin grin

Here we go:-

1. Never walk around without a document:
People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they are headed for the cafeteria. People with newspapers in their hands look like they are headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.

2. Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. (Never you use your phone to do office work in the office. No matter how sleek and fine your HTC, Phantom 8, iPhoneX or Xiaomi phone is) You can send and receive personal e-mail, update Facebook status, chat and have a blast on Twitter and other social networks without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they are not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will get caught - your best defence is to claim that you are teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

3. Have a messy desk:
Only top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile papers and files high and wide. Not all things should be kept carelessly o. If you use N128k to buy the phantom 8, nobody needs to tell you to be careful with it. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Don’t always pick your call and use voicemail:
Rarely pick your call and use voicemail most times. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to do work for them. That is no way to live. Screen all your calls through voicemail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they are not there - it looks like you are hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Look impatient and annoyed:
According to George Costanza, you should always try to look impatient and annoyed to give off the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late:
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. (Not too late o before the bad guys will rob you of your new iPhone or your samsung Note 8 on your way home. That is if you live in bad neighborhood. Unless you drive home.). You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (i.e. 9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.


7. Creative sighing for effect:

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Have a stacking strategy:
It's not enough to pile documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor (thick computer manuals are the best), etc.

9. Build your vocabulary:
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember; they don't have to understand what you are saying, but you sure sound impressive.

10. Do not forward this to your boss:
Except you have found a new job, do not forward this Gospel to your boss by mistake.


Add yours

You are surely very funny.

But employers won't like you. Obviously, you aren't an employer currently.

When you become an employer, you will wish you haven't shared this dammed post publicly.

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by abbaapple: 7:54am On Nov 01, 2017
This don't apply for DSEs (Marketers in the Bank) shocked

1 Like

Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Feranchek(m): 8:01am On Nov 01, 2017
OP, the pretence don plenty pass the real work jor. Na penny wise pound foolish be this one abeg.
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by umarfantami(m): 8:33am On Nov 01, 2017
THE TITLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN "10 WAYS TO LOSS YOUR JOB"
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Damilare5882(m): 8:34am On Nov 01, 2017
All This na work itself
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Nobody: 8:35am On Nov 01, 2017
Exactly what I need.
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Nobody: 8:35am On Nov 01, 2017
umarfantami:
THE TITLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN "10 WAYS TO LOSS YOUR JOB"
*Lose
Re: 10 Ways To Look Busy In The Office: The Gospel Of Lazy Bones. A Must Read by Samunosuke(m): 8:39am On Nov 01, 2017
All these a million times over will still rooster you sideways.

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