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Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant - Travel (608) - Nairaland

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Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by umarwy(m): 4:18am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.


"I don't know which option you should choose. I could never advise you on that... No matter what kind of wisdom dictates you the option you pick, no one will be able to tell if it's right or wrong until you arrive to some sort of outcome from your choice."
— Levi

5 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by babythug(f): 4:18am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.


Move on .

Concentrate on your studies and funding the balance of your fees.
There is more to life than marriage. Make the best of your time abroad.

9 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by tolajay: 5:09am On May 05, 2021
Glad you shared this experience...It's from a place of self-REALisation and a starting point of solution.

YOU and I know the solution to the issue at stake; MOVE!

But how?

All you need is the COURAGE (which you already have but inactivated) to take the bold step.

You need to believe you're an independent mind capable of creating your life, happiness and future.

Apparently, he has no hold on his essence for living and livelihood as a man. No drive, no passion, no joy, no happiness. There's little or nothing you can do for a such man, except for him to find his groove first as a man. He's got to live his life before attaching value to living with and loving you. So, he just like you, need SELF-LOVE, SELF-BELIEF & INDEPENDENT HUMANITY.

Perhaps, he feels you are without options but to stick with him despite all his acts of irresponsibility you've permitted for years. He feels you'll constantly need him. He feels you needed him in marriage and all. He has overestimated worth in your life because you have subjected yourself to the toxic relationship for years.

Due to the value of time and resources invested in the relationship, I understand it might be really difficult for you to just announce your divorce or separation from him. But I will advise you start by mirroring his communicative actions - do not initiate communication with him for days and weeks (without prior quarrels). Watch if he reaches out, if not, you then should RUN FAST without looking back because you're in a relationship with yourself.

I worry because you've permitted a lot of his irresponsible acts in the relationship cum marriage for years and your brain may have learned to be cool with those. You need to UNLEARN FAST for redemption and happiness to set in.

Please try getting a community of trusted people to support you (mentally and spiritually) through this phase.

I'm sending love and hugs...Best wishes.


Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Inkredible(m): 6:23am On May 05, 2021
Considering I only use this password here, has there been a data dump recently?

Anyone else get this?


Is password change a thing on Nairaland @justwise ?

1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by TheGuyFromHR: 6:29am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.


This is obviously not working out between you two.
Move on.

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by sgtponzihater1(m): 7:22am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.

Our last major breakup we had was because he advised I should further my studies in the UK but I refused chasing the process because I didn't have the resources. He promised he was going to support me but he didn't have a job and on several occasions he has left me hanging in some financial situations in the past so I wasn't interested in starting what I couldn't see through. All of this was in 2019. While we were on and off, he tried other relationships and I tried too but I loved him so much so I kept going back to beg him whenever we had issues. I couldn't move on. After so much back and forth and heartbreaks, and from the frustrations I got from fighting women off him, I decided I was going to move on.


When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,

Do I just move on? I am super stressed from trying to clear of the balance of my fees, thinking of how to sort out my life after school and I am navigating all these thoughts alone. I fear that nothing will change because our relationship has been toxic due to the kind of pain we have caused each other. I am willing to do better and be better as I have always said to him but on a ground that he will make conscious effort to be bette. I fear that when he comes he might continue to gamble or probably go AWOL on me if I offend him as this is what he does all the time.

I just need advice. Even though I am married, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel loved or cared for, I don't feel like I matter to him. Emotionally, I am very very alone. He can go days or weeks without speaking to me when we have a major misunderstanding. I just want some peace, oneness, love and transparency.


I can imagine the pain you are in. Your heart predicts the future. If there are no children involved I would probably move on. There are certainly other great people out there too if you would like to start again. He doesn't seem to take the relationship as serious as you do, and I wonder if he truly loves you.

All the decision in the end lies in your hands, and I pray you make a choice that brings you joy, comfort and peace.

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by RalphJean: 7:32am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

ALL the signs were as clear as day.
Although you clearly could see and feel there was no love, you still ‘forced him’ to marry you even after him chop the money wey u give am.

In my hearts of hearts, I’m pondering: NA JAZZ?
If all the ‘signs and SYNDROMES’ you saw since 2015 didn’t convince you that it ain’t working, I really doubt anyone in here can make you see the light.



PS: you wanted to bring a man who clearly doesn’t love you to the UK so that he will work, earn and balance your school fees?

15 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by hustla(m): 7:44am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

I met my husband in 2012 while I was serving (NYSC), we were first friends before we started dating. We started cohabiting in 2013 and we had a lot of issues from family to money management to cheating to gambling to fighting to breaking up several times and getting back, I will spare you guys the sordid details.

He lost his job in 2015 and since then he has been gambling. He does other things on the side like writing which doesn't bring alot but the money goes into gambling. I reported him to everyone I felt could speak to him because this was destroying and taking a toll on our finances, all the times this was happening, we were not married. Please keep in mind that I wasn't the best of persons at the time, I used to be throw my fists at him, fight with him in the middle of the road if I get triggered, our sex life was dead because emotionally I was deeply unhappy at the turn of events. I kept talking to him and wanted him to do better because I believed he could only if he just applied himself.



When I decided to start the process of travelling to the UK, we were in the middle of a breakup, I pleaded with him that I want him to walk this path with me, and since I didn't have enough, he could come along as a dependent so he can work the balance of my fees while I concentrate on my studies, and that since he didn't have any tangible thing doing, it is an opportunity to start a life and start earning something again. At first he was reluctant, I had to plead with him for weeks before he finally agreed to do so with me. His fears accordingly to him is that he doesn't trust me because I am erratic.

Fast forward to 2020 April, i got admission, sold alot of my stuffs, and travelled. Prior to my travelling, I had sent him money to do his passport and pay for marriage in Ikoyi registry and money for clothes as well, he didn't do none of it, and couldn't account for the money either. I got to know this a day before the so-called date that was fixed as I came from Benin, thinking I was getting married the next day but in the morning when I woke him up for us to get dressed, he said the wedding would not be holding. To cut the long story short, I had to pay for a fast track wedding a few days to my leaving the country.

I left for the UK this year January in the hope that he'd join me latest March unfortunately he hasn't been able to join me. He doesn't have the resources to fund his trip either and I can't fund it because I still have my balance tuition to pay. Since I got here its been one quarrel to another. I can work to fund his relocation after paying off my balance tuition but I feel he doesn't love me as he's willing t walk away at the slightest provocation.

I feel so alone, I don't feel loved and it has been like this for the past years. When we have a quarrel, he shuts me out, never takes my calls or read my messages. When I call those I think can reach him because I have tried to reach him for days, its another round of anger and shutting out. I am just really unhappy because I am at a loss at what to do at the moment,




May we not have this type of extremely low self esteem and low self worth. shocked

As if na only the obviously useless and never do well man dey this world smh. Don't you have friends or family members who can speak sense into your head??!

If this man ff you enter UK and discover you have any type of life insurance, e go kee you collect am and use am gamble

UK is the home of sport betting.. The one wey e dey do for naija go be small one to the one he'd do in the UK

He's obviously useless and you need to walk away from all this nonsense unless you ready get heart attack or make e kill you in the future

It is well o

6 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by hustla(m): 7:47am On May 05, 2021
RalphJean:


ALL the signs were as clear as day.
Although you clearly could see and feel there was no love, you still ‘forced him’ to marry you even after him chop the money wey u give am.

In my hearts of hearts, I’m pondering: NA JAZZ?
If all the ‘signs and SYNDROMES’ you saw since 2015 didn’t convince you that it ain’t working, I really doubt anyone in here can make you see the light.



PS: you wanted to bring a man who clearly doesn’t love you to the UK so that he will work, earn and balance your school fees?


Has to be either ment, jazz or lack of sense

All the signs are there

Chronic gambler, cheat, lazy, untrustworthy, never do well man

My mom's friend tried this thing against all the advice she got and today, she had to file a restraining order from the man

He did not change one bit. Claims Pastor but cheats with anything in skirt

If this woman likes her self, she should file for divorce and japa

2 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by hustla(m): 7:52am On May 05, 2021
Inkredible:
Considering I only use this password here, has there been a data dump recently?

Anyone else get this?


Is password change a thing on Nairaland @justwise ?

Got it on my Macbook too

Changed password

I believe its possible that your password is among those commonly found on dictionary attacks

.. Also if another website has recently been breached and your email /pw has been found in the dump, Apple will alert you

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by SamReinvented: 8:06am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01:
Hey guys, please bear with me for this is going to be lengthy, but at the moment I am at a crossroad. Had to create a new account because of this.

Your biggest mistake here is you going on with that marriage. How you go process the divorce now? How did you even think of settling to spend the rest of life in such a toxic relationship?

I don’t think you need any advice here. If your decision is not clear yet to you, no one here can advise. Do what you already have in your mind. OR settle down to think deeply about your life from your inner mind and do what’s right.

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 8:24am On May 05, 2021
Justagirl01 - You cannot fit a square peg, in a round hole......

In relationships, there is always a time to stay and a time to move on....... You know exactly what to do, but you seem to want to conduct the function of the Holy spirit, you cannot change a human being singlehandedly, if the person lacks the will to effect such change.......

Time to move on from some of the troubles in your life...... wink

5 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Inkredible(m): 8:53am On May 05, 2021
hustla:


Got it on my Macbook too

Changed password

I believe its possible that your password is among those commonly found on dictionary attacks

.. Also if another website has recently been breached and your email /pw has been found in the dump, Apple will alert you


Naaa holmes, I rarely use same password on different accounts. Easier to know which account is vulnerable.

[s]Anyways, how did you go about changing the password on here?[/s]

Sorted
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by hustla(m): 9:01am On May 05, 2021
Inkredible:


Naaa holmes, I rarely use same password on different accounts. Easier to know which account is vulnerable.

Anyways, how did you go about changing the password on here?

Sign out and when trying to sign in, click on reset password
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Inkredible(m): 9:01am On May 05, 2021
hustla:


Sign out and when trying to sign in, click on reset password

Thanks. Figured it out already.

2 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by justwise(m): 9:30am On May 05, 2021
Inkredible:
Considering I only use this password here, has there been a data dump recently?

Anyone else get this?


Is password change a thing on Nairaland @justwise ?

There is no data dump I’m aware of though I have received the same notification from many websites I’m a member of though not from nairaland.

Delete the password word and change it.

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Momakay: 9:34am On May 05, 2021
Hello everyone, please what’s the limit for amount of cash one can hold to travel to the Uk Please someone I need help, I heard 10k pounds want to be sure
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 10:28am On May 05, 2021
Momakay:
Hello everyone, please what’s the limit for amount of cash one can hold to travel to the Uk Please someone I need help, I heard 10k pounds want to be sure

£9,999.00...... wink

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 10:29am On May 05, 2021
Another financial lesson....... grin


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY2lkOMFALA

3 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Santa2: 11:03am On May 05, 2021
@justagirl01..I can relate to your post cos it hits close home. Had a family member in similar situation, all the sign were there but she still went ahead. Everybody warned her but she didn't want to walk that path alone (and kept worrying about what people would think) so she stuck to her emotional abusive partner. Now with a kid in the picture she is seeking a way out, trust me it's a lot more difficult.

The signs are there, you know what to do. You just need to have the strength and courage to take the step that guarantees you happiness and protect your mental health. Truth is nobody here can advise you on what steps to take because it's the choices you make that curates the kind of life you will live at the end of the day. Just ask yourself some simple questions; Where do I see myself with him in the next three years? same question but this time without him in the next three years. while it might cause heartbreak and an emotional rollercoaster but eventually you can and you would move on. Whatever decision you make, chose one that guarantees your (individualistic) happiness.

7 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Momakay: 11:05am On May 05, 2021
Lol that’s 10k naw thank you smiley



Lexusgs430:


£9,999.00...... wink
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 11:06am On May 05, 2021
Momakay:
Lol that’s 10k naw thank you smiley





Nope...... It's not.... That 0.01 penny is key........ cheesy

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by barakah(m): 12:03pm On May 05, 2021
Hello House,

Please help with advise on UK visa application.

I applied for UK visa in 2019 and was denied due to inconsistencies on my bank statement.

I was advised to wait and apply again by friends, what should i avoid this time and will my previous application and denial affect my future chances?
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 12:36pm On May 05, 2021
barakah:
Hello House,

Please help with advise on UK visa application.

I applied for UK visa in 2019 and was denied due to inconsistencies on my bank statement.

I was advised to wait and apply again by friends, what should i avoid this time and will my previous application and denial affect my future chances?


Was details on your bank statement inconsistent?......
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by barakah(m): 12:44pm On May 05, 2021
I guess a few unexplained lump sum deposits which did not match with my monthly income.
Lexusgs430:



Was details on your bank statement inconsistent?......
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by LagosismyHome(f): 1:25pm On May 05, 2021
Momakay:
Hello everyone, please what’s the limit for amount of cash one can hold to travel to the Uk Please someone I need help, I heard 10k pounds want to be sure

There is no limit ..... however there is an amount you should declare if you are carrying over 10k pounds or else it can be seized. ..less than you don't have to declare but over must must

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Mamatukwas: 1:28pm On May 05, 2021
[quote author=LagosismyHome post=101388631]

For people without permanent papers like student visa it is 15 hours.... for British or permanent residency papers then its 30hours. If you want more than 15 hours , nurseries allow you to pay the additional hours


Check recent policy. I believe it’s been updated to 30 hours as standard across board for all legal migrants. Even illegal Sef tbh cause I’m not sure anyone checks but yeah.

Cc: @olaness

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by LagosismyHome(f): 1:29pm On May 05, 2021
[quote author=Mamatukwas post=101402770][/quote]

O wow ...really. That good, i need to tell a friend then.

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 1:45pm On May 05, 2021
barakah:
I guess a few unexplained lump sum deposits which did not match with my monthly income.


We call it bumping up.........

Avoid bumping up....... grin

1 Like

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Momakay: 2:57pm On May 05, 2021
Oh thank you so much





LagosismyHome:


There is no limit ..... however there is an amount you should declare if you are carrying over 10k pounds or else it can be seized. ..less than you don't have to declare but over must must
Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by Lexusgs430: 5:11pm On May 05, 2021
LagosismyHome:


There is no limit ..... however there is an amount you should declare if you are carrying over 10k pounds or else it can be seized. ..less than you don't have to declare but over must must


You see why £0.01 makes a huge difference......... grin

3 Likes

Re: Living In The Uk/life As A UK Immigrant by barakah(m): 6:08pm On May 05, 2021
Lexusgs430:



We call it bumping up.........

Avoid bumping up....... grin

Please what's the way forward?
How can i prevent a re-occurrence without having to make use of an agent to apply successfully?

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