oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

my brother, u shudnt be rude or quarrel over dis issue, parents most times feel lonely wen dia children are goin away, de can't tell u de ar lonely, so they try to force u to come stay wit dem... all u need do is av a gud father son rapport wit ur dad, den make sure every weekend, u go to his house n help do d normal house sweeping, car washing, grass cutting n 50errands per minute works... ur ability to handle confrontations from parents without loosing ur cool tells a great deal abt how matured u ar.

d key tin here is to diffuse their fears. make dem feel u ar very much around, let dem knw u ar not goin anywia, u ar always around... communicate more on fon, get dem a dog or cat, sumtin de can play wit or care for... it takes dia mind away from thoughts.

at a point, I use to have constant fight wit my dad, but wen I was abt leaving, d old man pleaded wit me to stay...

I think every father should be proud his son want to be on his own. Am of the view that at 25 u should have leave your fathers house already. So should you ask me u are even late.

oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

Just take ur father to a Psychiatric hospital.

PrecisionFx:




Just take ur father to a Psychiatric hospital.

REALLY?? . Thanks anyways.

I sincerely sympathize with you on your predicament. I understand exactly what you are going through, sometimes parents do put their children in such precarious positions.

Sometimes I wonder what most parents really want from their children. While some can't wait to shove their grown up children away into the society, some wouldn't just let them go. Hmmmm. . . Different strokes for different people.

My problem is; if he didn't want you to be your own man, why then did he bother sending you to school? That being said, he is still your father and God honours his decision concerning you. The role of a father in every man's life can not be over emphasised.

I suggest you go and see him. Honour God's word in the book of Ephesians 6. Try to persuade him to let you make your mistakes and grow as a man.

I pray it works in your favour. GOOD LUCK.

embee3:
I sincerely sympathize with you on your predicament. I understand exactly what you are going through, sometimes parents do put their children in such precarious positions.

Sometimes I wonder what most parents really want from their children. While some can't wait to shove their grown up children away into the society, some wouldn't just let them go. Hmmmm. . . Different strokes for different people.

My problem is; if he didn't want you to be your own man, why then did he bother sending you to school? That being said, he is still your father and God honours his decision concerning you. The role of a father in every man's life can not be over emphasised.

I suggest you go and see him. Honour God's word in the book of Ephesians 6. Try to persuade him to let you make your mistakes and grow as a man.

I pray it works in your favour. GOOD LUCK.

Amen. I will go talk to him this weekend. Thank you bro.

sisisioge:
Whew! Your dad is a selfish fellow. Let him do his worst! Stay where you are and stop taking your issues to them. Iranu.

Abi o

[color=#770077][/color]yield to wot, did I hear u well . Such prayers dnt work and if z abt making sure u r sacked frm ur place of work kindly relocate to another state were dey will v little or no information abt u and visit Dem once in a while. U v ur own life to live and a family to build

I advise you to carve your own niche and become master of it. At the age of 30, your dad still sees you as a child and refuses to give you what you deserve,rather he wants you to become subservient and do his church business with him. Follow your instincts and be a man.

A pastor's son, keeping girlfriend. May be this is the reason you never mentioned what the Holy Spirit told you about the this matter. With this lifestyle, you know that you are not qualified to join him at running the church if your are to obey him. Secondly, your father seems not be a sound Christian as no such sound pastor will threaten his son with curses to scatter his (son's) future. We can't bless and curse with the same mouth James 3:10. The earlier you repent and face serving God in all honesty and then break loose from the clutches of your father, the better.

However, if you are a sound Christian, then your father is not your God. You have not be called into full time ministry, yet. If you decides to obey him because of fear, you will still meet serious frustration from your father that you're trying to avoid. Think wisely!

dont move back home instead move closer to God to cancel ur fada prayers,besides u are a man

upuphim:
A pastor's son, keeping girlfriend. May be this is the reason you never mentioned what the Holy Spirit told you about the this matter. With this lifestyle, you know that you are not qualified to join him at running the church if your are to obey him. Secondly, your father seems not be a sound Christian as no such sound pastor will threaten his son with curses to scatter his (son's) future. We can't bless and curse with the same mouth James 3:10. The earlier you repent and face serving God in all honesty and then break loose from the clutches of your father, the better.

However, if you are a sound Christian, then your father is not your God. You have not be called into full time ministry, yet. If you decides to obey him because of fear, you will still meet serious frustration from your father that you're trying to avoid. Think wisely!

kip quayet u dat is a sound christian y are u judging someone rubbish

upuphim:
A pastor's son, keeping girlfriend. May be this is the reason you never mentioned what the Holy Spirit told you about the this matter. With this lifestyle, you know that you are not qualified to join him at running the church if your are to obey him. Secondly, your father seems not be a sound Christian as no such sound pastor will threaten his son with curses to scatter his (son's) future. We can't bless and curse with the same mouth James 3:10. The earlier you repent and face serving God in all honesty and then break loose from the clutches of your father, the better.

However, if you are a sound Christian, then your father is not your God. You have not be called into full time ministry, yet. If you decides to obey him because of fear, you will still meet serious frustration from your father that you're trying to avoid. Think wisely!

Thanks for the advice bro. But does keeping a girlfriend makes me less a Christian?? This is my second girlfriend ever and i dont womanize. You sounded just like my father there. Thanks all the same.

oprah007:
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

You are very funny. At 30 years you are even considering moving back home to your parent's rented apartment? See its something you should not even entertain in your head. At 25 years some guys have built their own small house and have a family. You better focus on your job and forget your father's threats. He cant do anything. 30 years is to old to be under your parent's roof except if you have no other place to stay but in ur case u already have an apartment and even a girl u want to marry. Start living ur life and building ur future please.

oprah007:


She is in support of my Dad. Has always been. Its giving me headache but my spirit, body and soul does not move back home. I am only scared of my father's threats of cursing my relationship and working towards my sack.

Stop believing in all this curse. Whats wrong with you and why are you a coward? You are not strong at all. See ur father can do NOTHING. Even as a father he will not curse u. And if he does, plz ignore and live ur life. At 30 years u are already old just incase u dont knw. You graduated late or else u wont just be thinking of moving out of ur parents house

teflonjake:
And you brought your personal issue to nairaland?

It shows your cannot make your own decisions. @30 you should be man enough to face the pro's and cons of your life.

Keep a lot of issues about you off the SM.

Exactly... U hit the nail on the head. I cant imagine how a 30 years old man is even entertaining going back to live with his parents. Thats a big curse if u ask me. It like moving backwards in life. I bow for the OP oh

Edonojie007:

Bloody Feminist! See Your Life. Gender Equality. U Think God Created A Man And A Woman The Same. And Before You Reply Rubbish, God Said " It Is Not Good For The Man To Be Alone,lets Make Him An Help Mate" Help Mate. Assistant.

LOL!
This hungry-looking thing with red rope around his neck like goat is also fighting against equality.
When they call men, this one too go come out.
Broda, fight against poverty in your life first.
Namaste!

OldBeer:
LOL!
This hungry-looking thing with red rope around his neck like goat is also fighting against equality.
When they call men, this one too go come out.
Broda, fight against poverty in your life first.
Namaste!

Dear LORD!
LMAO

guy stand your ground and please, be proactive. Contact the management of your work place and inform them of your fathers threat so he doesn't come there to embarrass you for nothing.

oprah007:


Thanks for the advice bro. But does keeping a girlfriend makes me less a Christian?? This is my second girlfriend ever and i dont womanize. You sounded just like my father there. Thanks all the same.

Why don't u just marry her since you are comfortable.

HIGHESTPOPORI:
Why don't u just marry her since you are comfortable.

I plan doing that soon. I just have to put some things in place to have a good home and i will give it a go. Thanks bro

OldBeer:
LOL!
This hungry-looking thing with red rope around his neck like goat is also fighting against equality.
When they call men, this one too go come out.
Broda, fight against poverty in your life first.
Namaste!

And Na U Don Fight Poverty. How Much You Get? Abeg Commot For Road Make I See Better People. Hungry Looking Feminist!

[quote author=quintybabe post=62318377][/quote] Are U Sure,you Were Not A Rascal mania? No Be That One We Dey Talk Here Abeg.

Edonojie007:

And Na U Don Fight Poverty. How Much You Get? Abeg Commot For Road Make I See Better People. Hungry Looking Feminist!

E pain am.
Goat.
Useless thing.

JamesReacher:
I applaud you for your courage!

thanks

Edonojie007:

Are U Sure,you Were Not A Rascal mania? No Be That One We Dey Talk Here Abeg.

you are free to assume what u want, my comment is meant for the poster and not you and u ain't the one to determine if it were relevant or not.

OldBeer:
LOL!
This hungry-looking thing with red rope around his neck like goat is also fighting against equality.
When they call men, this one too go come out.
Broda, fight against poverty in your life first.
Namaste!

Chai! You really finished the guy. I had to go and look at his dp. I'm at my desk trying not to laugh out loud at work. If I were at home I would be rolling on the floor. Nigerians have bad mouths!

Op, am sorry for what I'm about to say its not my intention to hurt you or to be insulting but your dad is selfish and contrary to the popular belief in Nigeria, not all parents are good.

OP, are you certain there is no spiritual implication to this?

Finstar:


Your mentality is very shallow I must say.. What do you mean by female NLer? That female NLer might be able to feed your entire village. That female NLer might be the one paying your parents their monthly paycheck. What beef have you got with females? It's time you shade off these lame archeic mindset and embrace revolution. Gender equality is here to stay and majority of females are doing better than most men in all spheres of life. Your gf and exs might be among the majority of females with fish brain doesn't mean every girl is. Mind what you post on a public forum such as this..

Thank You.

Don't mind the sexist clown. His brain waves aren't flowing in an orderly manner.

But I must confess that you spewed horseshiit right there.

Tozara:
Don't mind the sexist clown. His brain waves aren't flowing in an orderly manner.

But I must confess that you spewed horseshiit right there.

I probably exaggerated no doubt.. But the fact remains that there some some ladies who are doing well than most men.