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Diary Of An Anonymous Corper - Literature (9) - Nairaland

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ANONYMOUS By ANONYMOUS / My Adventure As A Corper In Plateau State Jos / 3 Sisters And A Corper (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Arsenalfirstson(m): 3:13pm On Jan 26, 2018
sod09: not any more till wengay leaves
haba... U are kidda funny... But u are always in group page

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by sod09(m): 3:18pm On Jan 26, 2018
Arsenalfirstson:
haba...
U are kidda funny... But u are always in group page
yes to troll us
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 5:03pm On Jan 26, 2018
Andra was interested in me as I'm young and cute but she saw I was into you instead... So she went cold against you. That's it.
Btw You're are good at writing things, big ups to u!

2 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 5:43pm On Jan 26, 2018
Being an adult was one of the most difficult experiences during this service year.

When school resumed, I was always tired, stressed and confused. Whenever I woke up, I think of one million reasons why I don't have to go to school. Right after thinking about how messed up my entire life was. And just before I pray for more grace. I know just how many times I said ' Bleep it ', and just dug my head in the duvet, clasp my hands between my curled thigh and continue sleeping...I wasn't going to kill myself na. For the many times I chose to stand up, I always end up going late...that's without eating o. Only fetching water takes an eternity. Don't even get me started on bathing; The only other place apart from my bed that I feel completely comfortable in, is the bathroom. I practice my musicals, dance moves, acting, and even speech giving there. And, with every drop of water that touches my bother, the more relaxed I get. God help me that I make a simple hair that doesn't need combing, else, I'll spend another 'few' minutes combing vigorously. I mostly don't have the time for make up. But, then I have to look for what to wear...come to think of it, I don't know why I never search for clothes the day before.
At the end, I still end up looking like the clown that pops out of a Pandora box. My hair, that I spent minutes combing will look ruffled. My eyes will be bagged and black. I always look the same way princess Anna did that morning of the coronation in the frozen animation. Forgetting my lesson note, or writing material was a usual thing.

I have never been a routined person. That has resulted in me procrastinating a lot. I just take things as they come. I never know what to eat for breakfast. When to do laundry, wash my plates, fetch water, visit a friend, hang out, read a book, watch a movie, stay at home , or sleep.

I may just finish with my class for the day and start preparing to go home. My phone rings, Lanle is calling asking that I come to visit her at work. My subconscious will just remind me of how boring and lonely my life is. And remind me that people commit suicide for less, so I should go. I'll drop everything I have planned...lesson notes to write, dishes to wash, floor to sweep and water to fetch. I'd leave my entire life behind and run down to do absolutely nothing, but gist with Lanle. I could go hang out with the guys till late into the night, when I know I have a seven am class. I never really know how to set my priorities straight. Even, when I end up staying at home. I end up spending my entire time on the internet. Refreshing pages, like my entire existence depends on it. Watching videos of cats doing stupid things on YouTube, instead of preparing for the next day, or at least napping. When my battery finally dies, that's when sleep rushes through my eyes. And I end up doing absolutely nothing.

Spending money on things I don't want is the craziest part of being an adult. I keep buying nail polish like I own a beauty saloon. And I don't even use them. I see a beautiful color and I get it...
I already eat like a pigeon. Thinking about what to eat always gives me serious headache. Eating healthy...what's that? There's no such thing as eating healthy. My breakfast always range from cereal to biscuits, to bread. Lunch, especially when it's hot is garri and groundnut. Dinner is mostly Noddles or spaghetti. I've spent more money on roasted pork than I did on rice and beans...you can't blame for this though. You wouldn't understand until you taste it. I cook few times and because there's no fridge and I hate warming food. I'd just invite people over to help eat it. At a point sugar cane before the next best thing after sliced bread. I still think it was epidemic sha, because everybody was eating it that period.
Spending money on yogurt and cheap whiskey was what I called ' living the dream '.

I was always stressed out. But Saturdays had the worse. I always tried to fetch water, clean my house...thoroughly (placing the emphasis). And cook. Because, I know I wouldn't do it again the entire week. Fetching water was the worst chore and most important. The only source of water is this very deep well...if it had been dug deeper, I'm sure they would have found the door to hell. The well dries up if too many people fetch it. Therefore, everybody rushes to fetch water early. I remember the first time I went to use the well. I took more that 20minutes to full a bucket and a half. I couldn't even full the last bucket because the fetcher fell into the well. A normal person would feel bad...not me. It was good riddance. I had wanted to stop, but I didn't want the people around to think I was too lazy.
I quietly carried my one and a half bucket of water back to my house. A typical example of ' living to fight another day '.

I've learnt a lesson in all these though.
What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I am still struggling with being an adult...but, I've done tremendously well at adulting.

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Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Vikkioshio(f): 7:09pm On Jan 26, 2018
sod09:
what's wrong with you are you new here angry angry
Sorry about that, my phone was misbehaving that was why

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by collinometricx: 7:28pm On Jan 26, 2018
Pweetymhi read and comment dnt b a ghost reader

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by pweetymhi(f): 7:32pm On Jan 26, 2018
collinometricx:
Pweetymhi read and comment dnt b a ghost reader
lol,u got me there.it just DT am having a hard time with this names. so I wanna cool down and try to gather it all.
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Damibiz(m): 7:56pm On Jan 26, 2018
Similar characterz with the xception of TAKING CARE OF MY ROOM,i can sweep for Langtang lol,i dont like seening my room dirty,nice update

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by collinometricx: 7:59pm On Jan 26, 2018
pweetymhi :

lol,u got me there.it just DT am having a hard time with this names. so I wanna cool down and try to gather it all.
hard time with which name?
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by sod09(m): 8:56pm On Jan 26, 2018
Vikkioshio:


Sorry about that, my phone was misbehaving that was why
okay sorry bout your phone
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Folystory2(m): 9:12pm On Jan 26, 2018
Na was ooh!
Ghost, u have serious work to do.
This ur way of life will be a serious problem in marriage thinz except u overcome it. cheesy

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by musa234(m): 10:17pm On Jan 26, 2018
Ghost corper please change your lifestyle for your own good.. You seem to chase everyone close to you.. Abi you no go marry one day?

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Kenzico(m): 10:24pm On Jan 26, 2018
undecided

NYSC without Friends is Boring!!!

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 6:53am On Jan 27, 2018
It's these mess and chaos that drew me to u in the first place. If you improve, good, if u don't, I don't mind. I love u laidat*

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Nobody: 6:58am On Jan 27, 2018
Folystory2:
Na was ooh!
Ghost, u have serious work to do.
This ur way of life will be a serious problem in marriage thinz except u overcome it. cheesy
different strokes for different folks. I love crazy women.

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Sexyolori(f): 8:14am On Jan 27, 2018
Vikkioshio:

So confusing, when you think you're getting to build a friendship & the other party is acting funny.
More data to your phone, more credit alert.... Kudos to you, you're a real writer
must you quote the whole update to make your point? na wa o. Ride on ghosts girl...

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by pweetymhi(f): 10:00am On Jan 27, 2018
collinometricx:
hard time with which name?
all her friends
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by collinometricx: 11:13am On Jan 27, 2018
pweetymhi :
all her friends
oh ah see
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by DaAwesome1(m): 11:27am On Jan 27, 2018
BiadeFolar:
It's these mess and chaos that drew me to u in the first place. If you improve, good, if u don't, I don't mind. I love u laidat*
e be like say this one don fall in love.
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Sexyolori(f): 12:17pm On Jan 27, 2018
BiadeFolar:
It's these mess and chaos that drew me to u in the first place. If you improve, good, if u don't, I don't mind. I love u laidat*
someone is in love*whistlesandwalkstobuypopcorn*
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 1:03pm On Jan 27, 2018
DaAwesome1:
e be like say this one don fall in love.
Don't get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing.
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 1:05pm On Jan 27, 2018
Sexyolori:
someone is in love*whistlesandwalkstobuypopcorn*
You noticed too! Well, acknowledgement is the first step in the walk to reality*

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by bamssy(m): 3:30pm On Jan 27, 2018
hmmm guys de take m personal dem don forget say na fiction..... gud wrk Ghost

2 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 2:26pm On Jan 28, 2018
It's my Birthday Ghost, can I have a Happy Birthday Episode today please?

3 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Armynu(m): 3:47pm On Jan 28, 2018
Hardeybaryor:
It's my Birthday Ghost, can I have a Happy Birthday Episode today please?
wishing you the best of today. Happy rebirth bro. Bless.

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 4:07pm On Jan 28, 2018
Hardeybaryor:
It's my Birthday Ghost, can I have a Happy Birthday Episode today please?
coming up soon. happy birthday love.
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 5:32pm On Jan 28, 2018
My birthday fell on a Thursday in November. I had to go to school the next day and didn't like that at all...I had infact planned to cancel school the next day. Haba! It's my birthday and I'm suppose to be out late, get drunk and get high on cheap drugs. I may end up not remembering everything that happened that night.

Thursday morning, I had woken up with a silly smile on my face. First time in a while I didn't think of my shitty life. I had in fact woken up very early. I got to school really early and looking very beautiful, not like I've been forced out of a box. I read the messages that had already been left on my phone by friends. There was none from my family. I was used to it though, it's not like they forget. It's just that they don't remember early. A lot of people didn't know it was my birthday. I wanted it to be like that. I don't like how Nigerians celebrate birthdays. The happy birthday wish is always accompanied with a 'where's our drink or food' comment. And I don't have strength to be dishing out fake smiles, while explaining that I'm not celebrating...that always makes me uncomfortable. As if I'm not the one that's suppose to be receiving gifts.

I finished my class by 9.30am. I didn't want to go home. It would be too lonely and boring for me. I didn't want to spend my birthday alone, but I had no choice. Lanle was at work and would close till it's 6pm, and Andrea was at her school. I had no choice but to come home. The stench of boredom hit me hard as I walked in through the gate. I wanted to turn back and go find a new friend. At a point I thought about going to jos. At least, I could go to a real fancy eatery and munch on some really expensive, unhealthy food.
As I walked into my building, my neighbour's three year old son hugged Me. It was the first time and I was clearly surprised. In my mind he remembered my birthday. Either that, or he knows what i was thinking. We walked to my room together. I was happy he was there. I kept telling him how much I loved him for remembering my birthday and how he's my best friend for that day. I told him I'd never leave him and I'd love him with all my heart. He told me too that he loved me and would never leave me. Although he said it in Tarok language, language was not going to be a barrier for us.

There was light and so I played music from my phone, although not as loud as a speaker I danced, while Dela watched me. He was clearly enjoying the show. I could see the the flickers in his white bright eyes as he smiles. Finally the rice and beans that I was warming got ready. I dished it into two plates. One for Dela and the other for me. His eyes shone brighter as he immediately dug into his plate. We ate silently for a while. I finished dropped my plate and laid on my mattress. Next thing, I saw Dela struggling with my door. His plate was empty and our deal was off already? 'What a douche'. I thought. I ignored him. I knew there was no way he'd be able to open my door. And I was pissed with the poor child. After a while, I felt like I had punished him enough and I opened the door. His eyes were wet from tears. He said something in Tarok. A cuss I guess, right before leaving. I didn't wonder again why I was alone. My pettiness is enough reason.

I was back on my bed. After a while, I slept of. I was woken by a knock. Andra and Lanle had finally come to stay with me. They shouted their 'happy birthday' wish together. The day was fun from there. We watched movies with Wells laptop and binged ate together. Talking and laughing hysterically. They made a crazy video of me dancing like a robot to Rihanna's ' dancing in the dark '. They both gave my lap dance.

In the evening, we decided to stroll out. We bought roasted pork, yogurt and cheap whiskey. When we got to Lanle's place, we mixed the yogurt and whiskey together and drank it all with our roasted pork. By the time I got home, it was really late. I wasn't as wasted as I thought I would have been. Nedu and Dan dropped a little birthday gift for me. I wasn't around, so they gave it to Mag. I smoked it to top up the effect of the whiskey.
By the time I was feeling ' alright ', I concluded that I had a wonderful day.
It may not have been my best birthday, but I enjoyed it. At least I was surrounded by friends and Dela.

I do hope you have a better birthday than mine, Hardeybaryor. One surrounded with loved ones. Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I dedicate Rihanna's dancing in dark to you. Dance like no one is watching.

9 Likes

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by captainpower(m): 6:11pm On Jan 28, 2018
Remember to pick your fetcher back from the well. Wells in north are usually deep. I used to buy water from those guys selling. Mairuwa. I am enjoying you story

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 7:00pm On Jan 28, 2018
Armynu:

wishing you the best of today. Happy rebirth bro. Bless.
Thanks bro
Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 7:01pm On Jan 28, 2018
gh0sts:

coming up soon. happy birthday love.
wow thanks op

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 7:15pm On Jan 28, 2018
gh0sts:

I do hope you have a better birthday than mine, Hardeybaryor. One surrounded with loved ones. Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

I dedicate Rihanna's dancing in dark to you. Dance like no one is watching.

Yes, I'm enjoying it. Though not yet the best but better than last one.

Thanks op

1 Like

Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by xtanlee(m): 8:27pm On Jan 28, 2018
ghosts is too good...happy birthday hardeybaryor...

1 Like

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