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Stats: 2,992,364 members, 7,289,185 topics. Date: Friday, 03 February 2023 at 05:13 PM
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 2:30pm On Jan 16, 2018|
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Armynu(m): 2:57pm On Jan 16, 2018|
Sent4rina longest time. You sef don reach here? Na gh0sts hold us ransom for here o.... How was your service year?
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Sent4rina: 3:06pm On Jan 16, 2018|
Senior man, Ghost is hitting it hard, am really enjoying myself here i must confess.
Bro service year was interesting and fun filled. I hope you enjoy your station as well? How is life after service?
It's gud to hear from you my padi.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Armynu(m): 8:18am On Jan 17, 2018|
Sent4rina:I bet we all are.... She's firing on all cylinders.
Service was fun to an extent because i did more ghosting than serving. Camp to me was the high point sha. Life after service has not been as envisaged but we gud.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 12:03pm On Jan 17, 2018|
Schools finally resumed. First day, I went in to see the principal. I had still not been given a subject nor class to teach. I sat outside the rugged building that served as his office, Waiting to be called in. Soon enough, I heard his almost feminine voice called ' corper', I picked up my bag that has been resting on my leg and went in. He was different from the principal that had accepted me. He was younger, had a less confident demeanor. He didn't look me once in the eye as he talked. Looking at my face sef, was a big challenge. He asked the course I studied. And called in the director of student affairs. The older man was more confident and looked me as he suggested that I take maths in the junior classes...only me JS1 to 3. I told them immediately that the classes were too much and I may not have enough time to cover them all...after all NYSC didn't send me there to be their full time teacher. Plus the pay of four thousand, five hundred naira was too small to be that serious. The DS who was also a math teacher, told me he'd assist me. And told me my Wednesdays were free...like it was not my right. And it was not like I'd sit at home and lounge. I will still have to go to CDs.
They provided three dirty, torn and worn out textbooks for me to use. Not note book or pen. I immediately told them I'll start next week because I had to create a syllabus as none was given to me. And I also had to prepare a lesson note. I met with the other corpers and told them...I thought I had the worse situation, until the CLO of the school told me he takes Js1 to SS3. For four thousand, five hundred...they should tell us we are slaves from the federal government na. The CLO later bought a long note book for me. Right after he asked that I be his girlfriend...it was not like I asked him to buy me book o.
I only started preparing the note the weekend to the week I told them I'd resume. Procrastination almost killed. If my laptop was still there, I would have blamed my laziness on it. But it wasn't. And I honestly had no idea what was taking my time. I was able to write something that in no way resembled a lesson plan for Js1 and Js2...it was like something I'd scribbled down when I'm preparing for one of those exams where all I have to remember was the formulas.
First class I entered was Js1. They were novices like me. New school, new class. I did the normal introduction with them before starting. And It went smoothly.
I had Js3 next. They were bigger than the Js1. Although they still had the fascinated look in their eyes. I could tell they were more experienced in getting new, teachers. We finished the introduction and I left the class. Just a few steps to the staff room, I remembered that I needed a copy of the timetable and the names of all my students. As I walked close to the class. I heard a student imitating me. The moment he saw me, he ran to his sit. I was Immediately taken back to secondary school. And I remembered all the wicked things my class did to teachers. I didn't react. I just smiled and talked to the class prefect before leaving. I later became friends with the student that was imitating me...at least he was smarter than most.
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|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Sent4rina: 1:37pm On Jan 17, 2018|
Armynu:All is well!
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Kenzico(m): 4:54pm On Jan 17, 2018|
That kissing part got me
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Genazib: 7:28pm On Jan 17, 2018|
My own ghost, thanks for your updates. When are u back to Portharcourt, kai i will need to meet you oooo.... holla please...�
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 11:47pm On Jan 17, 2018|
To understand how I really felt about Bass, you need to listen and understand the lyrics of Camila Cabello's song 'never be the same'. He was an addiction for me. For someone that has never been in love. I was completely smitten. His talk, his laugh, his reasoning, his cool demeanor. By then we were already sharing secret jokes. How can one person make me feel so good. He was my personal brand of weed. I was high. I was happier, I laughed louder. I understood the lyrics to songs better. I listened to them and they spoke to me. The moon shone brighter. My sleeps were more peaceful...no more nightmare. I woke up every morning with a whole new zeal. I even talked to people I didn't like...I was in love and hate wasn't in my vocabulary.
Wells came with our stream two and needed accommodation. There was a spare room in our compound and I suggested he took it. He had come over to check the house. Everything was good. Somehow, he took a room in the compound next to ours because his PPA had asked that he waited because they had a place for him. He didn't like the place. But then someone else had taken the room. That didn't stop Wells from visiting. The guy that took the room was his friend and so it was the perfect excuse to visit. I knew he liked me. But, it was different this time. I didn't care, I liked someone else. That didn't stop me from being friends with Wells though. We strolled alot, with his friend though. Visiting the family house was a routine. Every evening we'd go there to hang out with the corpers in the house. And the more we did that, the closer we got. His PPA at NTA langtang was only operational at night and that way, he always left his laptop with me. He even gave me a spare key to his house. And he'd always suggest movies that I'd watch, since I was lagging behind in the movies area. That way we always discussed about them when we see the next day.
Bass had come to visit one day and saw Wells with his friend. He told me he didn't like him. I didn't understand him. But I could tell he was insecure and to me it was the sweetest thing ever. In my exact word, I explained to him that it was he I wanted and not Wells. That did nothing to calm him.
We had a football match between batch B and A. We had all planned to go. So when Bass came over, I convinced him to join us to the field.
When he called later that night, he wasn't too happy. He had told me I completely forgot he existed the moment Wells was there. Pointed out things I had done. I apologized and we moved on. From there it was a downward spiral. One thing or another came up causing us to fight. We were supposed to be in our honeymoon phase. But it wasn't anything as sweet as honey.
Everyday it got closer to when he'd pass out. And everyday I felt like it was ending soon. We weren't going to see for a long time...a really long time. And though we tried to console ourselves with a lot of promises. We both knew that it was ending soon. I got hit hard. I had just opened myself, exposing my emotions, breaking down those walls I had built. And now I didn't know how I was going to accept reality. We didn't see much towards his passing out.
Handover was going on. Old CLOs were handing over to new ones. Old papas were handing over to new ones. I had gone to the NCCF hand over on that evening. I had gone really early because I needed to also go to the catholic hand over. Wells was going to be the new papa and I wasn't going to miss that.
I got to the Catholic church were the hand over was going to take place. The confusion on my face was more than obvious, when I heard Flavor's song singing from the speakers. I couldn't understand if it was the hand over or someone's party. That night was crazy. Beers were served, secular music blared from the speakers. People heard what was happening and alot of them left the NCCF handover for Catholic. After taking few bottles of beer, I forgot it was supposed to be a church thing...well not just me. The handover turned to mini club, with people dancing, drinking and shouting at the top of their voices.
We got home late. Wells walked me to my as we discussed. I was talking frantically about all the shits that happened at the hand over. I didn't expect the kiss. It was fast and before I could say Bass, his tongue was down my throat. I wasn't lucid enough to quickly assimilate what was happening and somehow I was on my mattress, with Wells ontop of me. It was then I got the restraint and I had strength to push him of. And the only thing I could say was, ' I have a boyfriend'. I kept repeating it, still very tipsy. He apologized and blame it on the alcohol. I politely asked that he left. I immediately called Bass after that. I was so sorry it had happened. Weather tipsy or not. But I wasn't stupid enough to tell Bass...after all, he warned me about it.
Bass passed out the next day. I met him at the secretariat. I was both hungover and sad. He was going to be with me the entire day before travelling the next day. When he cancelled for some reason I can't remember. My sadness increased. I went home and took the only thing that helps me when I get like that...after taking my last stash of MJ. I slept off. He came later in evening. And the entire time I wished he'd stay and not leave. He promised to be in Jos till December so we'd spend sometime before finally separating.
To be continued...
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 11:50pm On Jan 17, 2018|
Genazib:Won't be back for a while. I'll try to let you know when I am though.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Armynu(m): 1:14am On Jan 18, 2018|
Awwwww.... I know and can relate to that parting feeling... You just feel indifferent Wells over to you, lets see if gh0sts gives you a chance
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 7:52am On Jan 18, 2018|
Bass and Wells are just bystanders, you belong to me!
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 8:31am On Jan 18, 2018|
BiadeFolar:You kinda disappeared. Welcome back.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 7:38pm On Jan 18, 2018|
gh0sts:Yea baby, man and his hustles!
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 7:40pm On Jan 18, 2018|
BiadeFolar:Good luck on your hustle.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Genazib: 8:36pm On Jan 18, 2018|
Your write up is dope.... okay why am i so drawn to you when i have not even met you.. buh hey keep them coming heyyy...tsk...
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 9:21pm On Jan 18, 2018|
Impacting knowledge is one of the most difficult things ever. I didn't enjoy teaching. And waking up every morning to prepare for school was one of the most difficult things I had experienced. Maybe, it was because I wasn't really paid enough. I always had very early classes. As early as 7 o clock classes...and it wasn't funny. Prior to that, I never had any reason to wake up that early, except I'm being chased in my dream.
My students were not motivating either. I came across a set of students that have no higher prospects in life. It was difficult to find a student that wants to become a doctor or a lawyer. You hear their boys talk about joining the army...which isn't such a bad thing until you ask them what else apart from the army they'd like to be. My mouth dropped when I heard vigilantes, and bank security. Until then, I didn't even know that bank security was a professional job. As for the girls, it's as simple as getting married and having babies.
Reading was their biggest problem. A lot of them don't read. They don't have the time maybe...in fact I don't know. In Js1,I had to pair them. After every class, I made sure I gave them class work. Then I give the good ones one weak persons to tutor and threatened to punish them if their partner fails in the next class. That helped a little. At least, Js1 is my best class.
Js2 got me completely frustrated in their first test. I had announced the test a week earlier. But I was too lazy to set up the questions. So I taught them that morning. It was square root, real simple stuff. And I asked them if I should give them a test on what I just taught. They were excited about the suggestion. And I was glad they liked it too. Wanting all of them to pass and being the nice teacher I was, I asked that they opened their notes. I made it an open book test. I was worried when I walked round the class and saw people not writing...I couldn't understand. It was right in front of them. Marking the script was a torment. It was a complete binary score for everybody, with their ones and zeros. One guy even wrote in an handwriting that could pass for a chicken digging the earth for food that he 'didn't understand it'. With very poor spellings... Argh! I gave up.
A student in my Js1 didn't know how to read at all. I had wrote the different types of fractions and their meanings on the black board and asked that they read it. I observed them and found out he was just looking at the board strangely...at a point I thought he was seeing some kind of horror I couldn't see on the board. I am not exaggerating when I tell you he couldn't read anything on the board... Nothing at all, nada. I asked if he could read just to be sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, and he said no...arghh! And he has been moving from class to class. How exactly! Now that's another thing. Gone are those days when a student fails and repeat a class. Nobody fails anymore. It is such a bad trend. Making teachers to make these students with slow learning abilities catch up with others. And when they don't, they just push them forward.
Copying notes is so difficult for them. They are so slow in writing, mostly because they can't spell. They have to look at the board fourteen times to write the word 'multiplication'...i kid you not. And since I teach mathematics, I have to make sure I write every single step for them ( collecting like terms, multiply by the denominator etc.). That doesn't help much, just in case you are wondering. Their parents could just walk into the school to call their ward to help them with chores at home. It's weird. They have multiple colours as uniforms.
And just in case you are wondering, the school is a private missionary school.
Payment of salary or in my case stipend is very irregular. No accommodation was provided either. At a point, we were owed for 3months. And even when the payment was done, my name was excluded. Money I had budgeted for already. The principal gave a bullshit story about thinking I came in September.
When I was finally paid, it was two months after and two hundred naira was deducted from my salary for church dues or something like that... For a church I don't attend o. I was force to pay their dues. And it was not like I was paid for all the months I was owed.
It was the perfect example of modern day slavery.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by MhiztaRange(m): 9:41pm On Jan 18, 2018|
I must confess, your story is dope, every single thing about your story is breathtaking. keep up the good work���
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by eitsei(m): 10:38pm On Jan 18, 2018|
This latest update is making me have a rethink about serving
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Investorbj: 3:43am On Jan 19, 2018|
I love the way you expess yourself when writing....
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Kenzico(m): 6:12am On Jan 19, 2018|
Believe me, NYSC is an awesome experience
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by eitsei(m): 8:10am On Jan 19, 2018|
Kenzico:yeah, I know and it can also be frustrating and traumatic... I can't imagine teaching a large class and earning a peanut pay, it's more or less slave labor like that
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 11:27am On Jan 19, 2018|
I love your style of writing.
Each episode comes with different view. Thanks for reminding me about NYSC; I served in Abia State, Ukwa West Local Government. My PPA was in Umunteke, it was really an experience
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Humulity: 6:56pm On Jan 19, 2018|
You are in the world of your own with your style of writing and choose of words. You have got the talent, get it harnessed and the sky is your starting point.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by BiadeFolar(m): 7:19am On Jan 20, 2018|
Even boys in my rural village wants to own farms and bikes...
I think its about precedence and influence. if one or two big bros had bagged a degree in Langtan and went on to go big, those boys might want to too...
I hear being in the military is a big thing, almost cultural in plateau state.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 1:00pm On Jan 20, 2018|
Mood swing destroyed my relationship. It may sound ridiculous. But up until then, even I didn't know it had the power to do that. I'm a very jovial and happy person. But when I get like that, it's always awful. I completely ignore people, phone calls and I hate everything that tries to bring me out of that foul mood. I bask in the mood as a reptile bask in the heat of the sun. It comes once in the month, and sometimes last for two days. Just right before my aunt flow visits. I always try as much as possible to avoid human contact, so I don't spoil whatever relationship I have. It works for me that way. And once I go back to my happy self, everybody is welcome back into my life.
I remember when I told my friend I had a boyfriend. It was on WhatsApp messenger. She sent a long ' hahahahahaha ' accompanied with the ' laughing, teary faced ' emoji. And honestly told me it will never work because my demons won't let it. Although, I found her message to be a little bit exaggerated, I wasn't angry. She knows about how complicated my relationship life was. I laughed with her and told her I was serious about this one. True to it, I had resolved in my mind to make this one work.
After a lot of excuses, Bass finally agreed to visit me from Jos as promised. To say I was excited was an understatement. I cleaned, arranged and cook. Such that by the time I was done, my house was sparkling with a delicious aroma.
I waited. It seemed like forever, how coming. I slept off. Woke up, read, surfed the Internet. Whenever I hear the sound of bike stop outside my gate, I jump to my feet and peep through my window. My shoulder falls in disappointment every time I saw somebody else come in.
When I finally saw him walk in. I had to use every single strength in me to restrain myself from dashing out of my room and flinging myself at him. I stood by my door and waited for his knock. It took a million years.
I threw myself in his embrace. He lifted me and I wrapped my long slender legs round his waist. Time stopped. We were frozen...when he finally dropped me, his lips locked mine in a kiss. We kissed like our survival depended on it.
The weekend was made even more relaxing by his presence. I was with him and nothing else in this world mattered. By Sunday, we planned to go out in the evening, get some alcohol and get wasted together. A perfect plan.
We visited Lanle first. I watched how two of them bonded. Two of my most favorite persons in Langtang. As we met other corpers as we strolled, my smile was broader, touching from ear to ear with pride. As they greeted us with that knowing smile or look. We got our carton of Don Simeon. That was when everything went downhill..
My mood swung. I was smiling anymore, or happy. I just wanted to go home and sleep. The night wasn't fun anymore. The more I tried to be happy, the more I sunk. I told Bass I needed to go home. He was clearly confused. I didn't care about his confused look. It was like a demon possessed me. I was mean and bitter for no reason. I could still feel all the love I have for Bass, the happiness about him being there. I could feel them all, but it was like they were in a fare place, a place I couldn't reach.
When we finally got home, he wanted to go charge his tab at a store close to my house because there wasn't light. Immediately, I was cold and didn't want to go with him...but I knew it was devil. We waited till is was 9pm, when they turn off the generator. As we walked back, I made the wrong move. I had not seen Wells since Saturday and I decided to stop by to see him. I asked if he'd like to come, but he refused. He went home, while I went to see Wells.
NEPA finally restored light. I asked what he'd eat, struggling with myself to come out of that mood. I wanted to be happy for him. Although, I was grateful he was there, I didn't bother acknowledging it. He said, I should bother as he was going to prepare the Noddle's. I was happy, opportunity to sleep, I thought. I knew, by morning I'd be out of that foul mood. I sat down and took some of the alcohol. Fixed my ear piece in my ear and slept of off listening to music.
I woke up by 3am and saw him sleeping on the floor. I immediately woke him up and asked that he slept on the bed. I knew he was pissed. I had behaved badly. I should have apologized in the conventional way. But it's me we are talking about...I instead asked that we watch a movie together. Maybe then we could take our alcohol. He refused. That was it...he recounted everything I did. I could tell he was hurt. I apologized a million times. I was so sorry. Somehow, we ended up sleeping.
I woke up to him folding his things. I looked at him and said nothing. But when he picked up the towel, I knew something was up. I asked if he was leaving, he said no. He always takes his bath early, so I just assumed...
That wasn't true. He came out of the bathroom, wore his clothes, picked he bag and told me he was going back to Jos. That wasn't our plan, so I started apologizing again. He didn't care. I could tell he wasn't going to bulge. But, I wasn't just going to let him go without at least trying. He told me I didn't care about him, that I didn't love him. He didn't want me to hurt him like his ex did. ( that was because I went to see Wells). I told him I didn't want Wells, it was he I wanted. That did nothing to solve the issue. I tried to kiss him, maybe it will make him rethink. But, he didn't let me. It's was then I realized I had been crying. I sat on the floor, close to my door...u thought maybe, he wouldn't have the courage to walk out on me seeing me like that...he left. I laid on my bed and cried. Then I felt, I should try some more. I called him and begged Jim to turn back. Instead, he asked that I came out. I wore my glasses, maybe it'll hide my teary eyes. I met him up. And begged some more. I offered to carry his bag back. When I noticed he'd not change his mind. I suggested to follow him to Jos. He refused. Instead, he asked that I followed him to the road, where he'd get a taxi...ehn, so I'll cry alone back to my house? I turned and headed back to my house.
The hurt I felt was beyond this world. I blamed myself. I laid on my bed and cried. I saw the Don Simeon and I drank from it. I drank more and more. Until I slept of. Even the dream world was affected by the alcohol. It was spinning and unbalanced. I woke up and drank more. School was already cancelled for me. I didn't eat or bath. I just drank, cried and slept. I didn't know I was capable of hurting. I didn't open my door to anybody that knocked. In texted him, called, sent WhatsApp messages. I was like one of those girls in those romantic movies we all hate. Those weak girls that cried because of a man, that always make me hiss loudly. I had become them and I hated myself.
Lanle came in the evening from work after she had heard my voice when she called. She didn't know what was happening. I would have done the same thing if I was her. I would have even snickered. But now I was the one going through the ridiculous moment. She begged me to bathe, to eat, to just talk. I didn't move. What use was bathing or eating or talking when my chest hurts so much. She was surprised that I had finished the carton of Don Simeon. I didn't get enough sleep that night.Tuesday was just as useless as Monday...
It was the first time I experienced that. It wasn't a fun thing to experience. I was hurt and blamed myself. Bass on the other hand didn't thought I was over reacting. Because, he didn't break up with me. Just gave me space...smh, like I asked for space.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by gh0sts: 1:03pm On Jan 20, 2018|
Hey guys! This was a really difficult piece to write. It made me remember stuffs I didn't want to remember.
Started writing it yesterday. But only just finished it. It may seem a little bit disjointed. Ignore the mistakes.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Armynu(m): 1:05pm On Jan 20, 2018|
WELL DONE MA'AM......... WELL DONE.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 2:23pm On Jan 20, 2018|
It was quite obvious but we'll surely and gladly embrace it.
So bad it happened that way, I guess you need to really work on that attitude please
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Ksslib(m): 2:32pm On Jan 20, 2018|
gh0sts:Actually, it's just prefect. Your choice of words were on point and the emotion oozed from them effortlessly.
|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Ksslib(m): 3:03pm On Jan 20, 2018|
Hardeybaryor:Trust me, it's not easy to work on. It's the most difficult thing ever to even begin to try to understand in the first place before we can even start talking about working on it.
And I know this because I'm melancholic (i guess the op probably is, too). Hers happens once/twice a month - this means she be learner for where I dey sef cos I consider myself one of the grand-patron of mood swings. lol . And it has affected my relationship with people in so many ways.
That thing acts like a demon. Inshort it's a demon. One moment you're happy and vibrant, the next moment, everything begins to irritate you, down to the way the person next to you breathes and smile. It's crazy.
You can compromise to reduce the severity to an extent, but at the end, you'll always learn to live with it because it's an integral part of some people's biological process. It's hardware, in-built.
Mood swings and melancholy both have close ties to creativity, which isn't a surprise given how the op writes with such finesse. Mood swing is probably the fuel that combusts creativity in the internal workings of some people's complex biological machine. Who knows.
sorry for the epistle.
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|Re: Diary Of An Anonymous Corper by Hardeybaryor(m): 3:09pm On Jan 20, 2018|
Ksslib:Needless to say that was an epistle, it really gave me an insight to something I've not considered before. I guess I need to read about this "temperament" of a thing.
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