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My life at DESPO - Literature (18) - Nairaland

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Re: My life at DESPO by cue64: 9:44am On Jan 09
Oshare abeg ehn I go like make my apartment dey over look beach abeg...lol top of the morning to you ma brother
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:54pm On Jan 09
Continuation
.
As the soldier men entered my department, they excused the lecturerer that was taking us that morning, and they went outside for some minutes before they came back.
I guess they went to brief him the reason they came.
-
" Good morning, Great Nigerian Students! We are sorry to interrupt your lecture this morning,"
" we were informed that some group of students from this reputable institution, killed a stray cow last week or so,"
" and we have been doing our underground work to make sure we get hold of those group students, who are trying to tarnish the image of this school, and those we get hold of, will be made to face the consequencies of their action,"
" well, without wasting much time, lets get started, if you know you participated in killing that cow, kindly step out, and we will resolve the issue amicably and make things easier for you,"
" but if you are here, and you refuse to step out now after this chance, and any of these two boys identifies you, consider yourself doomed!", one of the soldier men said while pointing at the 2 unlucky boys the came with,
See, i used the word unlucky cos, there is a saying that 'everyone steals, but the one that gets caught is the thief',
na so i hear am, no be me talk am.
Lol
-
After the soldier man said those words, i started sweating, that kine morning, wey sun neva start to shine o. I nor even know where the sweat pass com from sef,
abi army man talk dey give heat?
-
I was confused, i was in hot-sit like i was playing Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, i felt like the guy Rihanna referred to on that track 'Emergency room' when she said ' life line on a EKG'.
-
I for nor too confuse o, but the two options of escaping i had if i got bursted, were blocked.
(d tin weak me!)
-

When i said my Escape101 options were blocked, this is what i meant,
-
Option 1: the Window (JRJ),
if i got identified, i could have Jumped out through the window and Run like a mad dog towards the fence and Jump out of the school compound.
*its a JRJ course, don't be confused, JRJ simply means Jump, Run n Jump.
I belived the andrenaline in me coupled with my long legs could make me run faster than any Usain Bolt and enable jump anything jump-able, while in motion.
Andrenaline is bae, anytime!
-
Option 1 seems like the perfect escape plan incase i was identified but, it was cancelled because the windows had protectors. (chai!)
-
Option 2: the door (RRR),
if i got identified, i could have Ran out of the class and continue to Run and Run, till i get out of sight and hide, or run straight-bend-zig-zag, mixing up with fellow students in the process till i got out of the school compound,
* RRR here means, Run, Run and Run, i still believed on Andrenaline plus my long legs for this option cos, once my Usain Bolt mode is activated, none of dem fit pursue me catch (na joke o!) lol
-
Option 2 also seems perfect but, only one door was opened.
We have 2 entrance to my department, when they soldier men came in, they closed the door at the centre, leaving the main entrace door opened.
-
This option was cancelled because attempting to run through the main entrance means, Suicide.
I rather kee myself instead of committing suicide! Lol
-
All these while i was considering my options, cow-killers were stil standing at the front, waiting to be given permission to identify while the soldier men and the Community chairman were waiting if anyone involved, would step out to avoid stress.
-
I felt like i was trapped, and there was no way out.
How i wan take discharge if dem catch me?
Na like dis i take fail my Escape101 course?
-
Hey God, where you dey? Abeg com o, com rescue me o abeg, cos e don dey cast for me o.
(prayer mood activated)
.
.
To be continued

4 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by seuncyber(m): 1:31pm On Jan 09
Good Update I Just They Smile For Office Since, Abeg Give Us Another Update For Lunch U Fit Go Any Fast Food Collect Ur Own Food Tell Them Say Na Me The Guy Wey They 300naira Note Send U. Good Job Making My Day

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by favch(f): 2:52pm On Jan 09
Lol casting things on point
I hope u r not busted, this community r Just prolonging d matter
Oya ride on oo
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 2:58pm On Jan 09
Continuation.
.
I was very uncomfortable that moment coupled with my sweat-soaked body that morning but, i managed to comport myself. Thinking wan finish me!
-
While i was stil in my confused state, the following conversation ensued between my minds.
-
1st Mind: guy, you better stand up and submit yourself now, cos if you don't and one of the boys identifies you, your own is finished
-
2nd: which kine talk be dat, you well? Guy, no dey fear relax, you no be coward before o, na today you wan con change?
-
1st mind: i don dey tell you with small mouth now, you no go listen o, shey you remember the last time wey you no take my advice, you enter promblem o
-
2nd mind: guy no listen to that mind abeg, leave make he dey yan anyhow, you no go enta any problem, relax!
-
1st mind: na you dey put am for problem so o
-
2nd mind: ehn, make e be! Leave am like dat, fear-fear like you, awish he listen to you the last time wey HOD com threaten for class, ahthink he for don dey problem now?
-
1st mind: carry your face comot here joor, you too get strong-head
-
2nd mind: you wey get soft-head, no be you i dey see so? Your own na to dey make people dey fear anyhow
-
1st mind: guy, just stand up, make you go front now, dem no go kill you
-
2nd mind: he no dey go anywhere, we dey hear, na we get am! If dem no fit catch am since, dem no go fit catch am now,
-
2nd mind: no stand up o, cos if you stand up ehn, d army men drill 5yrs comot from your life o
-
1st mind: na lie, make he go, dem go make tins easy for am.
.
While my mind were suggesting, i got more confused cos, each mind raised a good point to back their suggestion but, somehow somehow, i decided to follow my 2nd mind's suggestion.
I cannor go and submit myself na!
-
" you two, go round and class, from seat-to-seat and see if you could identify anyone who participated in killing the cow with you, that day," one of the soldier commanded, while the 2 boys came down from the podium and started scrutinizing people's face one-by-one, they started from the 1st row.
-
I was kinda shivering when they were about 2 seats from my own, nor blame me, blame the kind thoughts wey full my head dat time.
-
I just dey imagine say dem go catch me, plus the many floggings, slaps, frog-jumps and kickings wey i go recaive as Bonus package.
Fear na very anyhow tin o
-
To be frank, at the moment, my Mind almost discharge leave me o, i just sit down dey form hard-man and my hands dey shake.
-
When the boys got to the seat before mine, my pen fell from my hand, the tension too much, no blame me.
-
And while i was about to pick up my pen from the floor, one of the soldier men pointed at me and shouted,
" hey you, stand up, why are you hiding?" (E don tear!)
.
.
To be continued

3 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:21pm On Jan 09
seuncyber:
Good Update I Just They Smile For Office Since, Abeg Give Us Another Update For Lunch U Fit Go Any Fast Food Collect Ur Own Food Tell Them Say Na Me The Guy Wey They 300naira Note Send U. Good Job Making My Day
I greet you, bros.
.
Abeg, u fit help me drop Application letter for your office?
Re: My life at DESPO by seuncyber(m): 3:47pm On Jan 09
Depend On Wetting U Read Cause Na AutoMotive Firm
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 4:10pm On Jan 09
seuncyber:
Depend On Wetting U Read Cause Na AutoMotive Firm
Ok bros, you too much!
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 6:03pm On Jan 09
"The ting goes skrrrahh, pap, pap, ka-ka-ka
Skidiki-pap-pap, and a pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom
Skya, du-du-ku-ku-dun-dun
Poom, poom, you don' know
I tell her man's not hot (man's not),
The girl told me, "Take off your jacket,
I say bae, man's not hot,"
-
Big Shaq _Man's not hot, i don't know why this song always sounds funny anytime i hear it. Lol
-
Which kine weed dat guy dey smoke before he enta studio na?
Lwkmd

2 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by collinometricx(m): 8:30pm On Jan 09
Whizkidefe U too go rugged... Dis yhur tory de burst mha brain... Like olamide wobey sound album... Chia own goal issa goal
Re: My life at DESPO by OlufemiWhit(m): 8:39pm On Jan 09
Oboy e go be for you if dem catch you ooo......nice story bro....we still dhy here
Re: My life at DESPO by Ikdbabie(f): 8:41pm On Jan 09
Hmmm. Fear dey catch me o
Re: My life at DESPO by vickyluvspices(f): 10:12pm On Jan 09
I rather kee myself than make i commit suicide....that got me laughing...nyc write up.
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:24pm On Jan 09
collinometricx:
Whizkidefe U too go rugged... Dis yhur tory de burst mha brain... Like olamide wobey sound album... Chia own goal issa goal
I hail o
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:25pm On Jan 09
OlufemiWhit:
Oboy e go be for you if dem catch you ooo......nice story bro....we still dhy here
Thanks
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:29pm On Jan 09
Ikdbabie:
Hmmm. Fear dey catch me o
*smiles

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:30pm On Jan 09
vickyluvspices:
I rather kee myself than make i commit suicide....that got me laughing...nyc write up.
Thankz
Re: My life at DESPO by favch(f): 11:36pm On Jan 09
Viewing thís topic WHIZKIDEFE(m)
WHR art thou, oya come shake body, loving d story more
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:41pm On Jan 09
favch:
Viewing thís topic WHIZKIDEFE(m)
WHR art thou, oya come shake body, loving d story more
I'm on my way to the sky.
.
Good night.
Re: My life at DESPO by collinometricx(m): 7:04am On Jan 10
WHIZKIDEFE :
I hail o
na mhi hail pass
Re: My life at DESPO by joeaz58(m): 6:57pm On Jan 10
GHOST mode deactivated EFE you are the nuclear bomb..no worry you go blow very soon..THUMBS UP
Re: My life at DESPO by Ikdbabie(f): 8:24pm On Jan 10
Hey dear Efe! No update tonight
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:49pm On Jan 10
Continuation
.
"hey you, stand up, why are you hiding?"
When i heard those words, i froze on the spot, the sweat on my body turned cold, na once cold catch me.
Then i heard the voice of my 1st mind say, "you own don finish!" and i was at the point of 'had i known',
i was like awish i know, i for kukuma go submit myself jejely that time o, chai!
And i asked myself questions like,
Which kine wahala be dis?
Who i offend?
Na like dis i go take write my book of lamentations?
Who send me?, i had given hope on myself, i thought the end has come for me.
-
And i prayed like Jesus did on the cross, 'Father Lord, if it is your will that i get bursted this way, let your will be done'.
Omo, that prayer nor comot from my mind o, i just dey wish for any of these miracle to happen:
1. Make God format the army men and Community chairman brain, make dem forget wetin carry dem com.
Or
2. Make the ground open, make i enter.
Or
3. Make God make me invisible, make i fit waka comot from the class unseen (ghost mode tins),
-
Nor blame me, blame the tin wey turn the sweat to cold for my body, how normal person go dey sweat and cold dey catch am, wetin be dat one?
-
All these thougts ran through my mind for those few seconds i froze o. (you go fear!)
-
I stood up, and i was like a superstar then cos all eyes were on me.
I sure say my spirit comot from my body dat time dey observe wetin wan happen.
-
" dat army man head big pass Nigeria problem o," my 2nd mind whispered to me, i wanted to laugh out loud but, i warned myself when i saw the angry-looking soldiers staring at me like i stole their salaries.
-
I didn't even know i was smiling till one of the soldier shouted while he asked me," why are you smiling like a goat?"
Dat question weak me, i swear!
-
' exxxcuse me! are you alright? You are asking me why i'm smiling like a goat, what do you mean?
Are you mad or something?
Is your brain paining you?
How does a goat smile?' i asked the soldier man in my mind.
.
.
To be continued..
"

4 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by AugustineSilva(m): 9:54pm On Jan 10
Ikdbabie:
lolz plz dont kill me with laugh o.
TWO NKO?
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:54pm On Jan 10
joeaz58:
GHOST mode deactivated EFE you are the nuclear bomb..no worry you go blow very soon..THUMBS UP
Thanks bros, you too much!
.
Tohscene n yvonncute, i sight you!
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:57pm On Jan 10
Ikdbabie:
Hey dear Efe! No update tonight
Yess, Babie, i'v updated!

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by seuncyber(m): 12:01am On Jan 11
Nice One More Ink To Ur Pen And More Data To Ur Phone Not Glo Data Oh, Una Good Night
Re: My life at DESPO by tu9ic3(m): 1:27am On Jan 11
WHIZKIDEFE:
Continuation.
.
I was very uncomfortable that moment coupled with my sweat-soaked body that morning but, i managed to comport myself. Thinking wan finish me!
-
While i was stil in my confused state, the following conversation ensued between my minds.
-
1st Mind: guy, you better stand up and submit yourself now, cos if you don't and one of the boys identifies you, your own is finished
-
2nd: which kine talk be dat, you well? Guy, no dey fear relax, you no be coward before o, na today you wan con change?
-
1st mind: i don dey tell you with small mouth now, you no go listen o, shey you remember the last time wey you no take my advice, you enter promblem o
-
2nd mind: guy no listen to that mind abeg, leave make he dey yan anyhow, you no go enta any problem, relax!
-
1st mind: na you dey put am for problem so o
-
2nd mind: ehn, make e be! Leave am like dat, fear-fear like you, awish he listen to you the last time wey HOD com threaten for class, ahthink he for don dey problem now?
-
1st mind: carry your face comot here joor, you too get strong-head
-
2nd mind: you wey get soft-head, no be you i dey see so? Your own na to dey make people dey fear anyhow
-
1st mind: guy, just stand up, make you go front now, dem no go kill you
-
2nd mind: he no dey go anywhere, we dey hear, na we get am! If dem no fit catch am since, dem no go fit catch am now,
-
2nd mind: no stand up o, cos if you stand up ehn, d army men drill 5yrs comot from your life o
-
1st mind: na lie, make he go, dem go make tins easy for am.
.
While my mind were suggesting, i got more confused cos, each mind raised a good point to back their suggestion but, somehow somehow, i decided to follow my 2nd mind's suggestion.
I cannor go and submit myself na!
-
" you two, go round and class, from seat-to-seat and see if you could identify anyone who participated in killing the cow with you, that day," one of the soldier commanded, while the 2 boys came down from the podium and started scrutinizing people's face one-by-one, they started from the 1st row.
-
I was kinda shivering when they were about 2 seats from my own, nor blame me, blame the kind thoughts wey full my head dat time.
-
I just dey imagine say dem go catch me, plus the many floggings, slaps, frog-jumps and kickings wey i go recaive as Bonus package.
Fear na very anyhow tin o
-
To be frank, at the moment, my Mind almost discharge leave me o, i just sit down dey form hard-man and my hands dey shake.
-
When the boys got to the seat before mine, my pen fell from my hand, the tension too much, no blame me.
-
And while i was about to pick up my pen from the floor, one of the soldier men pointed at me and shouted,
" hey you, stand up, why are you hiding?" (E don tear!)
.
.
To be continued




2nd mind: no stand up o, cos if you stand up ehn, d army men drill 5yrs comot from your life o

mehn can't stop laughing, I gats come out from recession...you good my nephew's name sake #Efe
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 7:11am On Jan 11
seuncyber:
Nice One More Ink To Ur Pen And More Data To Ur Phone Not Glo Data Oh, Una Good Night
Oga boss, data no dey fall from heaven o. Lol
.
Good morning!
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 7:17am On Jan 11
tu9ic3:

mehn can't stop laughing, I gats come out from recession...you good my nephew's name sake #Efe
Thanks, bro.
.
In Falz's voice, regards to your nephew.

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by Ikdbabie(f): 8:14am On Jan 11
AugustineSilva:
TWO NKO?
. Hahaha. Our bride price many o,u no go fit pay.
Re: My life at DESPO by Ikdbabie(f): 8:23am On Jan 11
WHIZKIDEFE:
Yess, Babie, i'v updated!
. That update is small o. Do u want to give someone HBP. U are jst making somebody heart to beat anyhow is nt fair o. Plz give us a lenghten update.

1 Like

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