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My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe - Literature (59) - Nairaland

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Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:04am On Jan 01, 2022
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

cheesy

We Made It!
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:51pm On Jan 01, 2022
This would give you the push you need.


Read, enjoy and share with your loved ones.

cheesy

https://efesblog.com/2022-now-that-we-are-here/
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:07pm On Jul 10, 2022
He walked inside, kept his phone on the table, and laid on the bed without talking to me or Diplomatic.

I no reason am sha.

The last time I saw him, he was in a joyful mood with his long time crush, Cardy, her roommate and 1 other guy.

I was surprised to see him there cos before he left home, he said he was going to see Cardy who lives in Felicity, the lodge at the extreme after ours.


I went to Lexus to get super-pack indomie, bread n eggs to prepare for dinner when I saw my homie sipping from his favorite brand of beer, Goldberg.

Awish na by drink dem tey dey give ambassadorship ehn, dis my guy face for dun full billboards both home and abroad. cheesy

I went to their table greeted the guys and babes in the table before I went to get my stuff.

" Efe come follow us dey na," He said when I was about leaving.

"Omo, shayo no dey my menu dis night." I said , " abi you want make I drink for empty belle make wetin happen 2012 repeat e self?"

They were having a nice time when I left.


*** back to present***

The next thing we heard was he having a deep sigh.

" Ogbolos, wetin dey do you?" Diplomatic asked.

"Bros, nothing o," he replied.


"You sure?" I asked.

He didn't reply.


That moment, I knew everything wasn't okay.


" omo, no die for here o. Dis one you dey breathe hard like who life dun tire so," that was Diplomatic firing straight shots few minutes later after Ogbolos sighed again.

"The Ogbolos wen I know no go keep phone for table con go sleep for bed. You wan kill am?" I said, " guy, wetin dey sup? Talk we no go flog you."


" You dey crase, you fit flog me before?" He said, "Efe abeg make ona lemme make I just dey like dis, dis night abeg."


***40 mins later***


" omo, I go must buy motor o," Ogbolos said out loud.

The way he said it was hilarious. I had to suppress my laughter cos I no wan fall for that tactic.

Diplomatic pressed his phone, while I was listening to music and surfing Nairaland.

We just air the guy like say we no hear wetin he talk.

After all shey na him say make we leave am alone 40 minutes ago.


" Oya make ona no vex, I go confess now," he said.

No reply.

" Efe, abeg help me pass my phone from table."

"Okay, sir" I replied, looked at him before I continued pressing my phone.

" so, I no fit send you message again abi, e be like say bomb dey your head o," he said while he stood up to get his phone.

I no even answer am sef.

" Efe, I go must buy motor o, MUST!" He said as he came to where I sat.


Ogbolos has been my homie.

We've been pals since primary 4. We attended the same secondary school too.

So, he was like family to me.

That period, he came to visit me from Abraka.


As fate would have it, he discovered his childhood crush, Cardy lived about 2 lodges away.


His happiness knew no bound.

He had been crushing on this girl since we were in JS3.

Cardy is a fine Igbo babe. Slim with fine dentition and smile.

Aside her beautiful face, the side that Ogbolos loves about her more is her slight bowl legs. Eg God!

The sight turns him on, effortlessly.

Omo, if my guy dey describe how he go tey put her for 7 position in 5 minutes for here ehn... cheesy

He was lustfully-in-love. cheesy

Although I do tell him that he'd know his true feelings for her after knacking.

Post Nut Clarity has been resetting feelings since 2000 ad. grin



So, for him, the time has come to settle their scores.

Cardy was a 'JWit or J-white', code names for Jehovah's Withness.

He thought being closer to her, and her being far from home was the perfect time to make his move and knack.


Well, I promised to supply him the condoms and milk to get energy he'd need to achieve his long time fantasy.

Don't look at me laidat, I'm just a gallant comrade. grin


" so wetin con make you dey behave like say you wan die since?" I asked.


" Oboy, na some boys o... as we drink finish for Lexus. Cardy say make I escort her go collect something from Ibori road..."



TBC

1 Like

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by daddio(m): 8:26pm On Jul 10, 2022
Thanks for the update boss
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 2:49pm On Jul 13, 2022
daddio:
Thanks for the update boss

Thanks chief!
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:43pm On Jul 13, 2022
Continuation



"Oboy, na some boys o.

As me and dem Cardy drink finish for
Lexus, Cardy con say make I escort her go collect something from lbori road.

I say okay, no wahala. Atleast as we dey stroll dey wait for bike, we go gist small, make I pass there put am for her body.

So, as we reach front of dat Winners church, 1 clean toyota spider con stop for our front.

The boy when dey drive con call Cardy. The way dem dey talk and laugh, e be like say dem know eachother before.

Me I just stand dey wait for her make dem talk finish so dat we go continue our movement.

Oboy, the next thing I see na Cardy come whisper for my ear say make I follow her enta the motor make he drop us for Ibori road.

Me sef, I no too reason am.

I just enta back seat, join one other guy wey dey smoke. She sit down for front seat with the guy wey dey drive.

She and the guy dey talk dey laugh while I dey book games for my phone.

Dem on Ac, music dey play from the car stereo on low.

As we dey go, na once somebody con dey call my phone.

Efe, as I answer the call, na once the boy increase the volume of the music o.

I just confuse. I try to hear the person but, I no fit. I end the call.

As I end the call, he con reduce the music volume low.

I no talk.

He con dey tell Cardy about 1 of him guy bday for Legit the next day.

...say make she and her roomie ready, he go come carry dem make all of dem go chill out there before dem enta Club.

Me, I just bone. Dey press my phone.

Omo, as my phone ring... immediately I answer am, dis boy increase the volume high again.

Guy... the tin vex me.


He do dat tin reach 3 times before we reach Ibori road.

E pain me dieee.


Na me dat boy con dey try intimidate with him motor.

I no blame am sha.

No be him fault.


For dis very tin wey dis boy do me dis night so, I go vex buy motor soon.

Even if na to do street sef, I no mind.

I feel humiliated, man!

I must buy motor o," he ended his tales of lamentation.


"Omo, dat boy na very wicked boy o," I said, laughing uncontrollably.

Diplomatic couldn't help it either.

Omo, we wan laugh our liver-pull dat night.


But, I no go blame the boy sha. Na my guy I blame.

Cos, why he go follow babe like dat wey dey enta guys eyes enta motor of 1 of her admirers.


Na loose guarding be dat na.

Small man pride wey him for take dey package himself now, dat guy dun use am shine.


"As she say make you enta motor, why you no kukuma come house, brah?," I asked.

He looked at me, speechless.


"See, nobody suppose cost you your peace of mind o, my gee.

Cos, I dey see say Cardy dey use your head, but you neva realize am. Maybe na infatuation abi na lust dun block your brain," I added.


" Efe, you no go fit understand," he said in defense.


" Ogbolos, normally if you no be my guy ehn, I no suppose dey bothered about your predicament..."

" you dey craze, Efe na you get predicament," he fired back at me.


"Ekpa! listen to me son. You dun ask yourself why na only when she like go drink or buy stuff for Lexus bar with her friends she dey call you?"


My nigga didn't know he was being a pawn in Cardy's hands.

She knows he likes her... she knows he wants to knack her.. and she's using that to her full advantage..... manipulating n billing him, subtly n sweetly.

She's giving him the idea that she'd give him what she wants if he makes her happy. And my guy was falling for her ploy. (Smh)


As e be like dis dis ehn, she dey push n pull you.

Now when you dun enta motor... make you see the class of guys you dey compete with... if you no get sense..... na here she go pass finish you. cheesy

Cos if your mind no strong, you go wan prove to her say you dey equal to the task.... na there wicked billing go send you enta depression or village," I said laughing cos the whole thing was cracking me up. cheesy


Guy, understand women and their games, if not e go affect you wella, walahi.


There are (few) good women out there o, but, na bad ones plenty pass. Infact, na both genders.

But, if you check am well, na bad women dey turn good guys to bad guys. [E Get Why ]


As we dey table Ogbolos matter admist the laughing.

My phone con dey ring o. As I check am, na Meekest dey call.


" hwfa na boss?," I said upon answering.

" I dey o, big man, where you dey na?" He asked.

" Omo, I dey house o, wetin dey sup?"

" okay, I dey come your place," he said, before hanging up.



TBC
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Damibiz(m): 9:31pm On Jul 13, 2022
Nice but kind of short,is good to be back after my break

1 Like

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 2:49pm On Jul 14, 2022
Damibiz:
Nice but kind of short,is good to be back after my break
Man like Dami.

Thanks, chief. cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Stillwhites(m): 3:20pm On Jul 14, 2022
grin
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Jeon(f): 3:22pm On Jul 14, 2022
Stillwhites:
Jeon i havent received ur response yet.Pls do well to quote me with ur alternate.

hi

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Stillwhites(m): 3:40pm On Jul 14, 2022
J
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by perry247: 10:03pm On Jul 18, 2022
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by youngWilly: 1:29pm On Aug 24, 2022
Efe efe!! Y hath thou forsaken this thread!
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 4:10pm On Aug 27, 2022
youngWilly:
Efe efe!! Y hath thou forsaken this thread!

Willy-Willy. I hail o!

I heareth thee.

Omo, I no fit forsake this thread. Na criminal offense be dat.

If I think am..... only the thoughts fit make dem deport me from my father's land sef. cheesy

Make we see as e dey go fess. 1 update fit drop for the road. grin

1 Like

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by youngWilly: 5:37pm On Aug 27, 2022
Oya do fast come update b4 i sue u go court grin
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by yungbanks(m): 7:43pm On Aug 28, 2022
WHIZKIDEFE:
Man like Dami.

Thanks, chief. cheesy

boss I've tried visiting your site but I'm not understanding anything keeps speaking Chinese emilokun
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by youngWilly: 9:34pm On Sep 02, 2022
Efe where hath thou? embarassed
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:32pm On Sep 09, 2022
This update is dedicated to Yungbanks, youngwilly, damibiz and all the lovely readers.

Make ona use dis one hold body fess. E Get Why. cheesy



Continuation...


Was wondering what could be the reason Meekest would be searching for me that night while my roomie and Ogbolos discussed.

Abi he wan carry me follow body go hunt?

Yes, I'm my homies back-up man when it comes to hunting their women. A solid brother's keeper like that.

I still can't forget the day Akp called me to goan back him up at Galaxy Base. It was a Valentine day ( story for another day).

Back to the present state.

About 25mins later, Meekest called me that he was outside our lodge's gate. I went outside to open and ushered him inside.

" oshare, hwfa na boss." I hailed him as we shook hands.

" I dey o.... "

" ogoro no dey come out for day time o, dis one you come out dis kine time so... wetin dey sup?"

" na day time be dis? Abi you dun high?," he replied, mockingly.

" when dey say make ona dey wash hands clean so dat ona go fit dey eat with elders to get wisdom and understanding... ona no go hear," I replied laughing,

"Well no be your fault sha, when you reach my age, you go understand wetin I mean."


" thank you, elder! Make I enjoy my youth finish fess before I become elder. I no wan skip the process." Meekest said, laughing mischievously.

" you dis boy, you be be just goat!" I said, laughing hard.


We sat on our Varenda outside when some guys started shouting from the last flat.

" oboy, I nor dey drop any money again, which kine wayo be dis?"

" you dey raise mouth for here cos all of us dey play game together, you dey mad??"

" senior man, fem dat reasoning o, I no go allow you use your office tey intimidate me for my own bunk o."

" I dun dieee! Na me dis smallie dey cap nonsense for laidis dis night... dis small rat o! "


We listened as their voices got heated, before we heard the sound of a thunderous. taaaahhh!"

Omo, no be dem slap o, but I feel am.


I held my cheeks and thought about the different things I could've done if I were the one that received the slap.

Omo, that slap drew attention. Neighbors started coming out of their rooms. Everybody wanted to have a free view of the action movie that's about to play out.


" na me you slap?? Na me you slap?? Biggie.... Biggie you dey price o... ahhhh! If you no collect dis night make I kpuff!"

"Ogbeni shut up abeg, run am for am instanta make him dey. No be to dey rake." I muttered before Meekest and I laughed.

By then Diplomatic and Ogbolos came outside to know see the cause of the pandemonium going on in the lodge.

While we sat and enjoyed our discussion, 4 guys raced from the last room. They were chasing Julius, the room occupant.

"Dis small boy, when he start to dey gamble? Because he dun go bam confra he con dey open mouth for where me Bonski deyBiggie you neva tell am my story?"

Julius raced back like flash, and locked the gate from inside while his pursuers got stuck outside.


" You Bonski, you come my yard come dey vana vana abi - you dun finish o. I go clear your fvck-up. You go believe." He shouted at them while they banged the gate from outside.

" see Julius, if e sure for you, open the gate... if I no faint you with my hand, call me bastard!" The other guy replied.


The noise was getting to me. Omo, I dey go inside abeg.

"See ehnn... Julius and Biggie ehn... dis night ona go park from dis compound, walahi."

Our caretaker said, as he rushed from his room, holding a machete.

He had been sleeping. The noise woke him up.

"See, like dis ehn. If any of ona come dis lodge dis night, If I no cut am make ona change my name. Highest I go say ona carry boys come raid dis lodge," he continued to para.

Some of the girls in the lodge came outside to calm him down. While others stood in their passage and complained.


"When day break ehn, I go call mama(landlady) make she warn the boys dem cos the next time dem go try dis mumu play for dis yard again, I go burst person head o." Keto said, still in his para mood.
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by yungbanks(m): 3:46pm On Sep 09, 2022
Thank God you remembered us today are we expecting more updates?
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Damibiz(m): 11:25pm On Sep 09, 2022
Thanks for the mention.......we have been on this for long, keep giving us back to back update �
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by youngWilly: 6:52pm On Sep 21, 2022
Finally tongue
Thanks anyway
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:43pm On Sep 25, 2022
Doctor... doctor!!!

The man panicked, as he paced the guest hall.

He was anxious.

His wife was in labor.

They were supposed to travel home to visit her mom when her water broke that morning.

See her in pains earlier when he assisted the female warders to carry his beloved wife into the labor room broke him.

He never wanted to see her in distress.

" baby, you'll be fine.... I love you" was all he could say as they stopped him from entering the room.

Memories of how he met her flooded his mind.

She was the woman of his youth.

Their love started when they were in the....


I was about to tell you their love story now, but was distracted by the shouts of...

" it's a boy!!!

It's a boy!!,"

The slender looking light skinned nurse announced, as she beamed with joy.

"My wife dun born! My baby!!

M

Na there everywhere tey scatter.

The man grabbed the doctor in a big hug and carried her up, in excitement.

This is the day that the Lord has made.

I say the man lose home training pour powder full everywhere o.

It was an act of celebration.

Powder wey fit transform black pole to white, I say everybody body for dat place white.

He was allowed to get inside the labor room to meet his exhausted but happy wife - holding their bundle of joy.

The sight made him both emotional and excited at the same time.

He had been waiting for this day since the first she told him about her pregnancy.

Finally!

His hope and expectations has happened to him, live and direct.


"I've been waiting for you, my son.

I'll protect you and ensure you grow into somebody great," he said, while he looked at the little baby in his arms.

The joy of fatherhood. A new chapter was opened of his life was opened at that moment.


Over the years, the boy grew up into a strong and industrious man.

But... plenty tins happen along the way way sha.

I go talk about some later.


That was the story of how this boy came into this world, in the year ninety-90-something.

His name is.....

Meekest!


Happy Birthday my Gee! I wish you Long Life, Good Health, and Plenty Money!! Na man you be!


How dis story for tey sweet if Meekest no dey?

This nigga dun cross the friendship line. Man is a brother, from another mother.


Story still plenty to drop o.

Like, when....

- Meekest and one buccaneer guy tey clash for one game spot.

- One babe dey jonze meekest with loving you. When the hunter became the prey. I say this babe... ( we go yan reach there)

- One chance with Junior, how dem wipe Meekest account with him card.

- Junior illegal deal and how community busted him.

- Me vs Meekest: The competion: where me and Meekest and I where to go for the same babe. Who go win her?

- How I almost banged Meekest neighbor (Mae) before.... omo dis babe's special indomie got me Ku-Lo-Sa to her like that Oxlade song, but tins sup ( more on this later)


- Meekest vs Obag vs Tpain vs Owos

- Tpain and him sugar girl..

- Meekest and Pat, the wonderful relationship that didn't happen.

- Meekest and **F** , the transfered love.
This babe was Meekest's brother's friend's pal while he was in the school. Somehow, she and Meekest linked up, and things were.

... and so on.

These are just few moments I could recall on the go now.

Events wey happen still plenty wey happen, and lots of things to share, but - time be the devil right now.


Omo, life's good when you have a homie like Meekest, walahi.

We dun drink garri together with joy.
We dun chop oil rice together.
We dun eat correct banga soup and eba...
Egusi soup dey cry for meekest hand.

We dun achieve growth and make some investment together although e later cast [ story for another day ] cheesy


E just be like make I continue to dey write dey go nonstop, but... make I hold myself. cheesy

Happy Birthday Meekest, mo man.

If you still have the dream of having the biggest casino in the country, omo, work towards it and believe...

E Go Happen if your mind dey, and you do wetin you gats do + grace= Anything is possible!


On a norm, I for make today public holiday for everybody to rest for their house and chill unto Meekest bday celebration activities o, but... today na Sunday. Dem dun dey house already angry

God bless you, my homie, Meekest.


Like I wish for me and my real Gs, I pray that no woman or money would come between us, or destroy the brotherly bond we share.

It's your Bday, my Amigo, enjoy your new age, Don Meekest!!

1 Like

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by meekest(m): 6:17pm On Sep 25, 2022
Thanks my bro whizkidefe....... I still dy chase my dream of having a big casino in Nigeria

2 Likes

Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:50pm On Dec 25, 2022
The day I committed my first 'murder'

I enjoy eating chicken, but...


I always avoid killing fowls.

Until one day when e over for me.



I was instructed to kill the fowl to be used for the celebration of that year's Christmas.


No way to escape it.


I had only 2 options.

1. Kill the fowl, or
2. Murder the fowl

Mheen, I was confused.


Holding the knife, I felt like a cold-blooded assassin.


The robust broiler gave me a look that screamed...


" Don't kill me, please..."


Omo, na so I just weak.


" The water is boiling already o," My sis announced, " where's the fowl?"


I didn't reply.


Then, I was silently asking God for forgiveness for the innocent fowl I was about to send to the other world.


Damn.


I was still contemplating on the best way to kill it without feeling guilty, when I heard...


" as you dey delay so, e be like say na only you go remove the feathers o"


That was it!


Those words triggered the fowl-killing spirit in me that within secs...


I grabbed its head and..


Slit its throad open, without any atom of mercy.


I no send.


If I perish, I perish!



And that's the story of how I successfully committed my first murder.


Murdering an innocent fowl.



My true life story. cheesy
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:22pm On Oct 28, 2023
Just remember one Saturday night when I go Meekest side go crash.

Dis kine time, na so the boy start to play Jehovah Withness hymns for him phone.

I fess shock, con quiet dey observe am.

"wetin dey sup for here??"

The thing be say the hymns con dey play dey go - from one to another.

I just dey try process wetin dey play for my front, and questions dey enter my mind the more I dey try understand, like...

"Since when my guy convert go JW wey I no know?"

"Abi e get new JW babe when he dey learn these hymns to impress?"

" Abi somebody dey try influence my gee enta the ukoko, he no wan clear me."

Omo, I say the questions dey pile up the more I dey try think of how e dey goes.

"Oshare, wetin dey happen to you na?" I ask am, "which one be dis JW hymns you dey play dis night?"

He looked at me, shook his head and smile.

"You no go understand," he replied.

"Understand wetin?,"

"No too think am cos you no go understand," he replied.

"If na so, na e be say you go off that your hymn fess o, cos I no dey feel am at all," I replied.

"Why you go feel am before? You think say life na about to dey jam dem Wizkid, Erigga, Akon, and Kendrick Lamar all the time abi, " he look me, "listen to hymn make you dey in the spirit"
Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by yungbanks(m): 2:02pm On Oct 29, 2023
WHIZKIDEFE:
Just remember one Saturday night when I go Meekest side go crash.

Dis kine time, na so the boy start to play Jehovah Withness hymns for him phone.

I fess shock, con quiet dey observe am.

"wetin dey sup for here??"

The thing be say the hymns con dey play dey go - from one to another.

I just dey try process wetin dey play for my front, and questions dey enter my mind the more I dey try understand, like...

"Since when my guy convert go JW wey I no know?"

"Abi e get new JW babe when he dey learn these hymns to impress?"

" Abi somebody dey try influence my gee enta the ukoko, he no wan clear me."

Omo, I say the questions dey pile up the more I dey try think of how e dey goes.

"Oshare, wetin dey happen to you na?" I ask am, "which one be dis JW hymns you dey play dis night?"

He looked at me, shook his head and smile.

"You no go understand," he replied.

"Understand wetin?,"

"No too think am cos you no go understand," he replied.

"If na so, na e be say you go off that your hymn fess o, cos I no dey feel am at all," I replied.

"Why you go feel am before? You think say life na about to dey jam dem Wizkid, Erigga, Akon, and Kendrick Lamar all the time abi, " he look me, "listen to hymn make you dey in the spirit"
are you back or you're giving us food for thought

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