We have been together for 4 years and after several misunderstandings she decides to end the relationship which i do not object to but she returns all (most) the things i have bought for her since we started dating. I'm wondering whats the deal with that; but in order not to create a scene since she came 2 my office 2 do this, i didn't question her-i just collected them.

Help me review this matter!

It depends on what causes the break-up.may be after the break-up you didnt go and make peace wit her so she has no option than to return your things. If you are the cause of the break-up go and reconcile wit her and tell her how much you love her ok.

maybe she don't like you that made her to return the things. if i may say she has been waiting for the day both of you will brake up so she can move on with her life. i advice you to look elswh ere

Why are you crying over spilled milk? She gave back you the things because she does not want to be reminded of the things you gave her or did for her. Just take the chit and move on.

Handle that!

She just wanted to avoid you saying "AFTER ALL I HAVE SPENT ON YOU DONE FOR YOU?

You know how some guys think they own girls just because they spend money on them right? she just wanted to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Atleast you can drop the "she is a gold digger line".

@ poster

at least you should be happy she returned those stuff, your loss is at minimum duh!
just move on, such is lifeeeeee!

I concur!  

Ebony, you are not my long lost sister are you?  Smile.

I think she just wants to create more drama, if she wants to return your things why bring them to your office? why can't this be done privately? she is very immature if you ask me, you should be glad you got rid of her

Ebonyeyes:

She just wanted to avoid you saying "AFTER ALL I HAVE SPENT ON YOU DONE FOR YOU?

You know how some guys think they own girls just because they spend money on them right? she just wanted to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Atleast you can drop the "she is a gold digger line".

lol!

Girl you r too much!

Ebonyeyes:

She just wanted to avoid you saying "AFTER ALL I HAVE SPENT ON YOU DONE FOR YOU?

You know how some guys think they own girls just because they spend money on them right? she just wanted to avoid any unnecessary embarrassment. Atleast you can drop the "she is a gold digger line".

Hehe! M.T.E!

Buh yur office?. . . .she shouldnt have!

Nonsense, she should have come along with your sperm or were u usin condom all thru?

yorke:

Nonsense, she should have come along with your spermatozoa or were u usin condom all thru?

Abi O!

she dey craze, u better be thankful!!!

She was being childish.

When i met her she was this sweet loving patient girl, but after 4 years of a relationship- she knows alot about me. her attitude towards me changed, she has become very demanding and controlling. sometimes she calls my cook to find out if i have gotten home. she checks my fone and reads my text messages. wen we hav a misundertanding she ignores me sometimes for a week and when she realises that i am not happy she plays the crying card.

at a party last year, she poured water on me because i left the party ground to talk with a girl downstairs. the girl in question was my friends younger sister who was discussing with me the problems she ws havin at home wit her brother and father over the guy she wants to marry. she made a big scene and most of my friends were disappointed in me for allowin my woman behave that way towards me in public.

to cut the long story short, i felt we needed space between us and i was hoping that she would figure out the kind of relationship she wants and go after it. the items she returned where just little things, cards, letters, clothes, female accessories, bible, prayer books, rings, make-up kit, phones and stuffs. She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.

anyway my head is too hot to hold it all, im still deeply depressed becos of the break up but i aint going back that road. i like 2 talk abt issues on nairaland becos u get all sorts of opinions here and people tell u what they feel with sentiments. i cant talk 2 my friends abt my break up becos most of them, especially the girls didnt like her.

comments please!

Ujujoan:

lol! 

Girl you r too much! 

Thanks babes

queeneve:

I concur!  

Ebony, you are not my long lost sister are you?  Smile.

We probably are

doejohn:

[size=30pt]She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.[/size]

Girls what did I tell ya? Some guys can be so predictable

Bro, i want you to know that what happened is a blessing in disguise, a girl pouring water on her fiance's face in a public place is not worth spending time with, see, you should be happy she returned few of the things you bought for her and you should know that it's one big problem gone from your life.

For you to know that this girl was not worth your time, imagine her bringing these things to your office instead of doing that at your place, even if she was afraid to go to your place, why not package them, send them through someone to your home or even to your office rather than coming in person to your office to do that. just ignore her, try to forget about things like this, i know some girls might want to support her but just be happy you have gotten rid of a big problem in the future.

Girls what did I tell ya? Some guys can be so predictable
[quote][/quote]

PLS BEAR WITH ME EBONY, I DIDNT MEAN TO SOUND THAT WAY. MY POINT SIMPLY IS, WHEN SHE COULDNT GIVE BACK 4 YEARS OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WHY DID SHE BOTHER TO EVEN RETURN SOME THINGS.

doejohn:

When i met her she was this sweet loving patient girl, but after 4 years of a relationship- she knows alot about me. her attitude towards me changed, she has become very demanding and controlling. sometimes she calls my cook to find out if i have gotten home. she checks my fone and reads my text messages. wen we hav a misundertanding she ignores me sometimes for a week and when she realises that i am not happy she plays the crying card.

at a party last year, she poured water on me because i left the party ground to talk with a girl downstairs. the girl in question was my friends younger sister who was discussing with me the problems she ws havin at home wit her brother and father over the guy she wants to marry. she made a big scene and most of my friends were disappointed in me for allowin my woman behave that way towards me in public.

to cut the long story short, i felt we needed space between us and i was hoping that she would figure out the kind of relationship she wants and go after it. the items she returned where just little things, cards, letters, clothes, female accessories, bible, prayer books, rings, make-up kit, phones and stuffs. She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.

anyway my head is too hot to hold it all, im still deeply depressed becos of the break up but i aint going back that road. i like 2 talk abt issues on nairaland becos u get all sorts of opinions here and people tell u what they feel with sentiments. i cant talk 2 my friends abt my break up becos most of them, especially the girls didnt like her.

comments please!

Brother, wondering where you ve been hanging out that you get to meet girls like that, pouring water over your head,checking your sms and ignores you for a week   .

Step up your game and look for really cool chicks that are not jealous and are sane,

she quits finally because of the new love she has found,

okenwa:

she quits finally because of the new love she has found,

I am actually suspecting that my brother!

doejohn:

I am actually suspecting that my brother!

if dat should be the case pls make sure you get back evry damn thing u gave her including the ride and spermatozoa if possible she ain't worth it, gud riddance 2 bad rubbishhhhhhhh

doejohn:

I am actually suspecting that my brother!

Here's what i advise you do, send those things back to her, if she confronts you, tell her if she's to return what you have bought for her, she should also return the rest, everything with nothing left, let's see if she can really come up with them.

Ebonyeyes:


Girls what did I tell ya? Some guys can be so predictable

Jeez, predictable in-deed!

This is another 'woman, thy name is ungrateful' remix!  

doejohn:

When i met her she was this sweet loving patient girl, but after 4 years of a relationship- she knows alot about me. her attitude towards me changed, she has become very demanding and controlling. sometimes she calls my cook to find out if i have gotten home. she checks my fone and reads my text messages. wen we hav a misundertanding she ignores me sometimes for a week and when she realises that i am not happy she plays the crying card.

at a party last year, she poured water on me because i left the party ground to talk with a girl downstairs. the girl in question was my friends younger sister who was discussing with me the problems she ws havin at home wit her brother and father over the guy she wants to marry. she made a big scene and most of my friends were disappointed in me for allowin my woman behave that way towards me in public.

to cut the long story short, i felt we needed space between us and i was hoping that she would figure out the kind of relationship she wants and go after it. the items she returned where just little things, cards, letters, clothes, female accessories, bible, prayer books, rings, make-up kit, phones and stuffs. She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.

anyway my head is too hot to hold it all, im still deeply depressed becos of the break up but i aint going back that road. i like 2 talk abt issues on nairaland becos u get all sorts of opinions here and people tell u what they feel with sentiments. i cant talk 2 my friends abt my break up becos most of them, especially the girls didnt like her.

comments please!

Your story is pathetic but I'm not buying it. You sound too . . . .  something!  

Ujujoan:


Your story is pathetic but I'm not buying it. You sound too . . . .  something!  

Ohh! No, i get wat ur saying, i hav painted the picture of a sweet loving guy who has never done wrong. Thats nt d case, we hav had problems between us, some she has caused, alot of them i have caused but we have over time worked through our problems.

Break up is never easy especially when you know clearly you are not responsible for it and like i said she came to me asking for a break up. I definitely wont come out to say i did her wrong to lead to the break up but if i did why would i hide it, nairaland peeps wont be dishin me an award 4 my story. Im sharing an experience, forgive me but im not doing dis 2 win favours from anyone.

doejohn:

Ohh! No, i get wat your saying, i hav painted the picture of a sweet loving guy who has never done wrong. Thats nt d case, we hav had problems between us, some she has caused, alot of them i have caused but we have over time worked through our problems.

Break up is never easy especially when you know clearly you are not responsible for it and like i said she came to me asking for a break up. I definitely wont come out to say i did her wrong to lead to the break up but if i did why would i hide it, nairaland peeps wont be dishin me an award 4 my story. Im sharing an experience, forgive me but im not doing dis 2 win favours from anyone.

guy, you don't have to explain anything, you should know that nl has 2 faces, one for the feminist and the other for the sexist, just ignore post and comments not addressing your issue and pick the ones providing help to your predicament.

doejohn:

When i met her she was this sweet loving patient girl, but after 4 years of a relationship- she knows alot about me. her attitude towards me changed, she has become very demanding and controlling. sometimes she calls my cook to find out if i have gotten home. she checks my fone and reads my text messages. wen we hav a misundertanding she ignores me sometimes for a week and when she realises that i am not happy she plays the crying card.

at a party last year, she poured water on me because i left the party ground to talk with a girl downstairs. the girl in question was my friends younger sister who was discussing with me the problems she ws havin at home wit her brother and father over the guy she wants to marry. she made a big scene and most of my friends were disappointed in me for allowin my woman behave that way towards me in public.

to cut the long story short, i felt we needed space between us and i was hoping that she would figure out the kind of relationship she wants and go after it. the items she returned where just little things, cards, letters, clothes, female accessories, bible, prayer books, rings, make-up kit, phones and stuffs. She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.

anyway my head is too hot to hold it all, im still deeply depressed becos of the break up but i aint going back that road. i like 2 talk abt issues on nairaland becos u get all sorts of opinions here and people tell u what they feel with sentiments. i cant talk 2 my friends abt my break up becos most of them, especially the girls didnt like her.

comments please!

That one na real wow Oo

For me, I wouldn't return gifts, gifts are gifts!!! Regardless if you are in the relationship or not
If it is his personal belongings or he has mine, I would return it asap, and request for mine.

doejohn:

Ohh! No, i get wat your saying, i hav painted the picture of a sweet loving guy who has never done wrong. Thats nt d case, we hav had problems between us, some she has caused, alot of them i have caused but we have over time worked through our problems.

Break up is never easy especially when you know clearly you are not responsible for it and like i said she came to me asking for a break up. I definitely wont come out to say i did her wrong to lead to the break up but if i did why would i hide it, nairaland peeps wont be dishin me an award 4 my story. Im sharing an experience, forgive me but im not doing dis 2 win favours from anyone.

Well, now you are talking. I for one know there are two sides to every story, and as pathetic as yours sound, I know hers could be worse. Maybe if she makes her own post, even honeric01 will be screaming . . . 'return everything'

But that's not the issue here. I understand how you feel, break-ups are NEVER easy on anyone, but you have to understand that we ladies have a way of 'acting out' . . Once when I broke quarelled with my ex, I banned my friends from talking to him . . just to spite him!

From you posts, it's obvious you initiated the break-up, so don't think things will go completely your way. I guess the gifts she's returning is playing pranks on your consience, but for your own peace of mind, you need to let it go. Ignore her, after some months, call her up to make sure there are no hard feelings. Keep doing that untill you are sure she no longer carries any hate around for you. For now, just let her be.

lolz

i didnt read much of it

but she wants you back

shes returning the stuff to call for your attention- try and work it out

as for me- the guy wqill never see those earrings again! thats real talk!

@doejohn
 I can see that one of "them" has already starting the "blame" game with the "From you posts, it's obvious you initiated the break-up" that uju just typed, i would like to know how she came about that comment and why she thinks you're the cause of the breakup.

 One more thing, they say, what's worth doing is what doing well, if she's to return things you bought for her to "spite" you, then let her return all of them 100% including the cars, monies and your spermatozoa, even your time too.

she returned it all huh? well i think she wanted to see you one last time in hopes that you will beg her to work things out (nope lying) that biotch is crazy for showing up at your job with old im assuming cards and teddy bears. throw all that sh it in the garbage and close that chapter of your life.

I hope she paid you back for all the dinners you have taken her out to also

honeric01:

@doejohn
 I can see that one of "them" has already starting the "blame" game with the "From you posts, it's obvious you initiated the break-up" that uju just typed, i would like to know how she came about that comment and why she thinks you're the cause of the breakup.

 One more thing, they say, what's worth doing is what doing well, if she's to return things you bought for her to "spite" you, then let her return all of them 100% including the cars, monies and your spermatozoa, even your time too.

Cant you read, he said . .

doejohn:

to cut the long story short, i felt we needed space between us and i was hoping that she would figure out the kind of relationship she wants and go after it. the items she returned where just little things, cards, letters, clothes, female accessories, bible, prayer books, rings, make-up kit, phones and stuffs. She knows clearly that there is more, she drives a car which i bought, i have paid her school fees for like 3 sessions, i have spent money on her in ways that i cant even remember.

We all know what a guy means when he says he needs space. He can't request for 100% of the things he got her. Can't you see his posts are riddled with guilt? I bet he has some other things he doesn't want to say. But I dont want to go into that before you start calling me a feminist again!    

you are lucky she returned them, hope my ex will return mine because she doesn't worth such spending, thank God my dear,if they all be returning then I donot think there is any problem,