Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,152,915 members, 7,817,684 topics. Date: Saturday, 04 May 2024 at 05:17 PM

Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? (7252 Views)

I Haven't Dated Anyone In 10 Years But Having S3x -- Mr. Macaroni / When You Are Having Doubts About Your Relationship / Women, How Do You Feel When You Love A Man But Can't Tell Him? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by pryme(m): 12:27am On Dec 26, 2017
Belafonte:


I think say na only me dey reason am so. And as I have no dog in the fight I done lock up. Naija guy na him one babe dey use cure for Christmas period of all periods. Baba fit even dey with oloshos wey dey ready to leave her own work plus family for bobo sef. We dey try reason with am she dey form. Anyway, she fit get assurance say guys full everywhere so no shaking.

Well like you say i no get dog for the fight too, she been dey find honest opinion, i don talk my own.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Fabuloski(m): 12:37am On Dec 26, 2017
Belafonte:


We're only being honest, sis. You know how it is with a loaded Naija dude during Christmas, he's practically Santa and his main babe isn't with him after giving him cõck and bull tales as to why she wouldn't be. You sef reason am.
lol, It Is Kinda Crazy. I Guess The Lady Do Not Know How Things Operate Here In Nigeria.
Christmas Wey Be Say Returnee Sef No Dey Get Time For Themselve Not To Talk Of Your Supposed Girlfriend Who Does Not Want To Go See Mama. Lol

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 1:57am On Dec 26, 2017
Fabuloski:

lol, It Is Kinda Crazy. I Guess The Lady Do Not Know How Things Operate Here In Nigeria.
Christmas Wey Be Say Returnee Sef No Dey Get Time For Themselve Not To Talk Of Your Supposed Girlfriend Who Does Not Want To Go See Mama. Lol

Translation? lol

As I said, we only been dating for 2 months. To do a big trip overseas with a man I started dating is a big deal to me. If I knew him longer, like at least 6 months, that would be different. I would be in his Territory with his family. Is that not a big deal to some of you?

Also, it's short notice. I guess I should have told share that concern with him but I didn't want him wrongly assuming I am not trying to take him or us dating seriously. Also, if he was that bummed out I didn't wanna go, he should have communicated.

So, seems like there is a lack of communication on both of our parts?

I actually caved and texted him Merry Christmas and no response. But i will give him a day or 2 to respond as we are in different time zones.

Besides that, not much more I can do.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 2:05am On Dec 26, 2017
pryme:


In my first post that i quoted you, I said something about "some" red flags on your own part. The first one i mentioned is that - you are too emotionaly.

Now the next one? your Ego, yeah you said "if he does not contact you, you wont contact him" well this ego dancing a ballet here. sorry if am picking bones on your own end but like they say

"the truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off"

You said something about being afraid that you dont want to get hurt, let me ask you who wants that? is it the men that are suppose to be guinea pigs for Dr Heartbreak to cut to pieces for his experiments? they say a feeble heart does not win a fair lady, i believe this goes both ways.

this explains why fvckboys are very successful, cos they will say what you want to hear, make that call you are now waiting for, infact they will go as far as they can go to get what they want. you will mistake their unrelenting effort for commitment. well i have news for you not every man has time for girls that make them feel they are not important.

Look my dear friend, they say its not easy to find a good woman and even if you did, they dont come easy, the same goes with men.
but if you feel you are too important for him to ignore you when he is with his family, then pls leave the guy alone and find a man that will give up his family for you.

The ball is actually in your court, cos you told him you will be too busy this period, so he has let you be i see nothing wrong in that.


Am just curios why use "Corps" of all the names for your moniker?

I actually wished him Merry Christmas a few hours ago and no response (yet). Considering we are in different time zones, I will give him a fair time to respond, if he does respond.

You insinuate i am making assumptions yet you are making assumptions. You don't know anything about me or anything about the guy I am dating apart from what I said, which is just tidbits of information. Who said anything about giving up his family?

It's called courtesy. If I was leaving overseas to see my family, I would send my dude a text or call saying I miss them or will talk to them later. I guess that's asking for too much shocked.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 5:08am On Dec 26, 2017
GraGra247:
If you want to marry a Nigerian shine your eyes well well. Really look before you leap.

Well I could say that for any type of marriage at all.

Subject him to every possibly known test to confirm faithfulness and preparedness.
If possible hack him and read his chats and messages,e-mails.

Once confirmed go ahead & leave the rest to luck.

If u are a Nigerian and u are spewing this gibberish thunder fire u there .are you telling the world we are the worse of all men ? Or in your entire village don't u av men ? The writer of this topic is she not a grown up to find out herself in America? After all they have cnn and there president who know a lot about nigeria ,so why not let her ask them .
Spy will be sent to know about us and all we do is give out first hand information . Now u see it's not only triba and religion that is problem ,aproko too . If u come from a home where other families are easily gossip and blacklisted this the spill over .
U are killing ur self over another man hustle .
Why not bend ur miserable and frustrated head to pray come next Sunday night make God deliver u from this back yard gossip and prosper u come 2018.
U dey tie wrapper dey do aproko with one Jamaican lady dey condemn Nigeria ,are you better off ?
See if the thunder wey I send still dey do press up I go send the one wey don do road work finish to harmner u there . Anuofia

5 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 5:22am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:
Hello all! Hope everyone has a good Christmas.

I am new to this forum and would like some advice...

I will try to keep it short:
I have been dating this Nigerian American man for 2 months. Then, he went out of state for work but in the mean time we talked/texted regularly while he was away. I actually visited him as he invited me, and stayed with him for a few days and it went well. We vibe well, wasn't awkward at all. According to him, he's ready to settle down and have kids in the near future. He is 35, a little bit older than me. I am not Nigerian but I am Caribbean Black so we have a similar upbringing, where we came from a religious background, fathers placed heavy emphasis on education. Also, on the 3rd date he asked us to be exclusive...

I, too, said I am dating for marriage providing it's the right person.

He told me he was offered a higher salary to relocate. The area where he is staying at for work is a very quiet neighborhood. He said he could imagine staying there if he had a wife and kids. I said what wouldn't he be bored there living on his own and he said, "I wouldn't be bored if you were here." He even said earlier if we lived together, we would have so much fun. Again, in the few days we spent together, we laughed a lot as both of us are goofy but we had serious conversations about our upbringing, goals, past experiences, future plans,etc

He even asked me what I want for Christmas but I didn't answer.

Anyway, he told me he was going to Nigeria to visit his family for the holidays. He actually invited me to come and I would stay with them. I declined and he said "Why not?" I said because of work which is partly true. But it's more so the fact I haven't known him long enough and that's a big step.

Anyway, on my last day and when he dropped me off at airport he said how he missed me already. But I noticed since the trip, a week ago, I been the one mainly initiating communication, when it use to be mainly him. So, then he said he is flying in Saturday and I replied I can't see him because I am at work all day. He replied with a sad face. So, I suggest Sunday and he said he doesn't think it's possible since he will fly out to Nigeria that day. I then said I wanna see him and he thumbs up the comment but never replied.

I feel since I made an effort to see him in Florida, he could have made the effort to see me or at the least call me and say he wants to see me but too but can't and that we will re-connect when he comes back. To me, it's an indication he isn't that into me. I told my friends and most of them think I am blowing it out of proportion, but one friend sees it as a lack of interest and effort on his part.

I am kinda bummed because I liked him but seems this is the end. I deleted his number and don't plan on contacting him again...

Bia op just like your usual way of listening to gossip about us from your wack ,gossip tv station cnn and or big mouthed president who call my beautiful country a hut ,why not listen to there advice and quit this moronic questions about Nigerians ,ehn? Or his planceta tied to Nigeria men alone ?
U deleted is number simply because he didnt call u. And again u said it urself u refused to follow him down to Nigeria ,so when u first shown a 'NO' interest about knowing his people ( if truly u love him) do u expect him to jump around the whole street of nija he's in a blind date .
I beg quit telling us u love him t ,if u do u won't come to social media to find out about him. And mind u, nothing is hidden here because he will find out soon enough ,how u are sniching and stalking him.
This is public domain and as such issues like this is not suppose to come to the public glare and view.
So go get ur Jamaican men ,they ain't better . I have a cousin who lives in u.k the first lady he dated was a Jamaican . He told me how this lady get piqued over little altercation,one short Jamaican lady who look like " black Chyna ' the wife of Robert kadashian.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 5:24am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


Translation? lol

As I said, we only been dating for 2 months. To do a big trip overseas with a man I started dating is a big deal to me. If I knew him longer, like at least 6 months, that would be different. I would be in his Territory with his family. Is that not a big deal to some of you?

Also, it's short notice. I guess I should have told share that concern with him but I didn't want him wrongly assuming I am not trying to take him or us dating seriously. Also, if he was that bummed out I didn't wanna go, he should have communicated.

So, seems like there is a lack of communication on both of our parts?

I actually caved and texted him Merry Christmas and no response. But i will give him a day or 2 to respond as we are in different time zones.

Besides that, not much more I can do.

We have got whites ladies coming to Nigeria to marry ,so why making mole hill out of mountain ? I beg gerrahere men!

3 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 5:28am On Dec 26, 2017
zolapower:

We have got whites ladies coming to Nigeria to marry ,so why making mole hill out of mountain ? I beg gerrahere men!

I am not white and what does that have to do with me. Nothing.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 5:31am On Dec 26, 2017
Fabuloski:

lol, It Is Kinda Crazy. I Guess The Lady Do Not Know How Things Operate Here In Nigeria.
Christmas Wey Be Say Returnee Sef No Dey Get Time For Themselve Not To Talk Of Your Supposed Girlfriend Who Does Not Want To Go See Mama. Lol

No.mind her cry cry baby ,e wan know how nija men dey behave . Tell him to ask Donald Trump or CNN,after all they carry fake news about us. I read her post all I see is ego ,pride and disregard for our men . U wish to know about Nigerian . Is she in anyway better of than the white ladies coming to registry ikoyi to marry our men? No wonder they said blacks are the problem of blacks . @ op go take a hike and stop disturbing us with ur watery question . U are still under suckling I guess .

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 5:40am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


I am not white and what does that have to do with me. Nothing.

Really and under one day u have written an epistle just to find out about a man and u think u can get the truth here? Keep fucking ur self . I think its high time mod starts to censor thread like this .
If u want a better relationship ,stop being emotional and sensitive. This how it works here , with patient and endurance u will get the man of your dream . I'm sure if u were this man ' wife who 's relative told him not to marry him simply because he can't afford to buy her a bottle of coke on her visit to man's house I'm sure u would taken to ur heels .
I will advice u ,stop this,it makes no sense . U csnt continue to stalk a man and hope to get to know him ,this is not good for u. So quit trailing or stalking him.
Now read this ,for your own good and stop crying about this .

https://www.nairaland.com/4251948/man-buys-wife-ship-2017

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 6:04am On Dec 26, 2017
zolapower:

Really and under one day u have written an epistle just to find out about a man and u think u can get the truth here? Keep fucking ur self . I think its high time mod starts to censor thread like this .
If u want a better relationship ,stop being emotional and sensitive. This how it works here , with patient and endurance u will get the man of your dream . I'm sure if u were this man ' wife who 's relative told him not to marry him simply because he can't afford to buy her a bottle of coke on her visit to man's house I'm sure u would taken to ur heels .
I will advice u ,stop this,it makes no sense . U csnt continue to stalk a man and hope to get to know him ,this is not good for u. So quit trailing or stalking him.
Now read this ,for your own good and stop crying about this .

https://www.nairaland.com/4251948/man-buys-wife-ship-2017

At this point, stop replying to me. You're rude and making assumptions. I am not stalking him nor am I crying over this. I simply wanted a different perspective on this. I won't be responding to you anymore. BYE.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 6:11am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


I am not white and what does that have to do with me. Nothing.

someone s giving u an advice to hack him and read is text . I will advice u for your own interest never u try it ,u want to encroach is private life when u ain't married to him ? See the road to any successful relationship is rough and full of torns ,so don't expect a relationship made from heaven . People will tear ur heart apart just so u dont marry him or her but with patient and Endurance what will be ur will be urs.
Besides , u started what u are experience now ,the impression u gave him from the word go . Again ,put away ego and pride . Be humble and stop seeking advice like someone going to a native doctor or psychic to know what the future holds for her .

2 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 6:18am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


At this point, stop replying to me. You're rude and making assumptions. I am not stalking him nor am I crying over this. I simply wanted a different perspective on this. I won't be responding to you anymore. BYE.

Then stop being a spy ,stop spying us . Enough of how u guys spy us . Whereever i see ur thread I will stalk u and let Nigerians boycott u silly and nasty post . Look at pot calling kettle black. Leave nija men alone if u have no patient ,we don't date women with ego.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 6:38am On Dec 26, 2017
zolapower:

someone s giving u an advice to hack him and read is text . I will advice u for your own interest never u try it ,u want to encroach is private life when u ain't married to him ? See the road to any successful relationship is rough and full of torns ,so don't expect a relationship made from heaven . People will tear ur heart apart just so u dont marry him or her but with patient and Endurance what will be ur will be urs.
Besides , u started what u are experience now ,the impression u gave him from the word go . Again ,put away ego and pride . Be humble and stop seeking advice like someone going to a native doctor or psychic to know what the future holds for her .

I wouldn't hack any guy's phone, that's kinda extreme.

You're right. I guess I just felt maybe since this is a Nigerian board, they could see things differently. Which some of the suggestions have been helpful. Hopefully, we re-connect because I do like him. If not, life goes on.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 6:48am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


I wouldn't hack any guy's phone, that's kinda extreme.

You're right. I guess I just felt maybe since this is a Nigerian board, they could see things differently. Which some of the suggestions have been helpful. Hopefully, we re-connect because I do like him. If not, life goes on.


Good to hear that . So be patient try as much as u can never look for solution where u least expect it .
Go through the front page and see a post about how the Igbos travel home for the festive holiday. I'm not an ibo man and neither do I know the person u are talking about but I will b the last person to judge s person due to other people's irrational attitude .
Accept my apologies for my comments

2 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by zolapower: 6:56am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


I wouldn't hack any guy's phone, that's kinda extreme.

You're right. I guess I just felt maybe since this is a Nigerian board, they could see things differently. Which some of the suggestions have been helpful. Hopefully, we re-connect because I do like him. If not, life goes on.


Mind you not everyone will give u a better advice , but then again u shouldnt have started by telling all how's getting a job that will fetch him plenty money ,how he wants baby from u and how was born and raised there . With the aforementioned I will blame u in all this . U should have open a post or thread that will simply not give u a away as a foreigner. Such thread will spring up reaction that won't satisfy ur curiosity .
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by pryme(m): 7:43am On Dec 26, 2017
Corps1000:


I actually wished him Merry Christmas a few hours ago and no response (yet). Considering we are in different time zones, I will give him a fair time to respond, if he does respond.

You insinuate i am making assumptions yet you are making assumptions. You don't know anything about me or anything about the guy I am dating apart from what I said, which is just tidbits of information. Who said anything about giving up his family?

It's called courtesy. If I was leaving overseas to see my family, I would send my dude a text or call saying I miss them or will talk to them later. I guess that's asking for too much shocked.

yeah, from someone that dont trust you @the bolded

i guess you should take your mind off him for now and focus on work. i believe you have done all you can.

you can also try to find a better moniker unless you are fond of dead bodies shocked shocked
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 4:55pm On Dec 26, 2017
pryme:


yeah, from someone that dont trust you @the bolded

i guess you should take your mind off him for now and focus on work. i believe you have done all you can.

you can also try to find a better moniker unless you are fond of dead bodies shocked shocked

I guess in every culture it’s different. But that’s considered courtesy where I’m from. It’s not about a lack of trust. A lack of trust would be if you keep blowing up someone’s phone asking where they are and what they are doing.

Anyway, I’m just gonna focus on my work and other stuff for now. If I don’t hear from him when he comes back, then I’ll assume it’s over.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 5:17am On Dec 27, 2017
chaarly:
I didn't read the full story buh. . see below

Looks like my instincts were right! I actually met him on a online dating website.

Well, since Friday, he didn't hit me up. Even when I sent him a Merry Christmas text.

So, I actually went on the site we met and put in the zip code of the area he moved to on the day I left. His profile popped up and it was Active. He even said Kevin Heart was coming into town by the end of the week in his profile. Meanwhile, he is allegedly in Nigeria.

I tried calling him and his phone went straight to voicemail. I used someone's phone and it went straight to voicemail too.

His profile said he's new in the area. So, clearly this was all a game to him. Meanwhile he was talking about being exclusive by the 3rd date, and I wanted to hold off until I got to know him. Mentioning how his dad was strict on him. Paying for the rental when I came to see him, paying for dinner. Talking about school and his family. In terms of his family and school, everything checked out according to his Facebook and Linkedin.

I don't know why was he talking in a future sense if he apparently was gonna ghost on me.

I just don't get it because on my last day when I visited him, he mentioned coming to Nigeria with him. He even said if we lived together, it would be so fun. I even used his car down there, brought his to his job.

It's like what is the point of all this? And he's 35 years old, like wtf. But his facebook said he is still living here, but regardless that is clearly a new dating profile.

If he didn't think it was gonna work, then he should have been man enough to end it.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 5:20am On Dec 27, 2017
pryme:


yeah, from someone that dont trust you @the bolded

i guess you should take your mind off him for now and focus on work. i believe you have done all you can.

you can also try to find a better moniker unless you are fond of dead bodies shocked shocked

Anyway, I updated the thread. It's officially over. Done. Both of my friends think this doesn't make sense, and one told me to wait 2 weeks lipsrsealed for him to respond and try to confront him. But i doubt he is gonna reach out to me. He had no problem communicating regularly beforehand but now he is overseas, which is probably a lie, he can't communicated.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by pryme(m): 6:51am On Dec 27, 2017
Corps1000:


Anyway, I updated the thread. It's officially over. Done. Both of my friends think this doesn't make sense, and one told me to wait 2 weeks lipsrsealed for him to respond and try to confront him. But i doubt he is gonna reach out to me. He had no problem communicating regularly beforehand but now he is overseas, which is probably a lie, he can't communicated.

Sorry about how things are unfolding, I was once in your shoes, we were fine until one day we had a small quarrel she went ghost mode on me, I didn't hang around to find out why, cos I thought it was the most immature thing to do.
I guess men and women are not so different afterall, well what can I say bullet dodged? If you guys have only been dating for 2 months then it won't be too hard getting over him and moving onto better things.

Am sorry how things panned out.

3 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 7:20am On Dec 27, 2017
pryme:


Sorry about how things are unfolding, I was once in your shoes, we were fine until one day we had a small quarrel she went ghost mode on me, I didn't hang around to find out why, cos I thought it was the most immature thing to do.
I guess men and women are not so different afterall, well what can I say bullet dodged? If you guys have only been dating for 2 months then it won't be too hard getting over him and moving onto better things.

Am sorry how things panned out.

It's ok, I am more disappointed than anything. He is 35 years old and playing these games. I am a good person and been genuine from the get go. If someone did this to his sisters, he would have been mad. Yes, it's better I know now than find out months or years later, if this ever was gonna continue that long.

Yeah, I am not sad because I wasn't emotionally invested. I liked him but I wasn't in love. It's ok, not my loss.

Dumb?? I reactivated my dating profile and sent him a message, kept it classy and told him to lose my number and delete my pics. The pics were just selfies. And I told him I will do the same. I also told him he called himself religious but has no problem lying while God watches. And told him he should have been man enough about his intentions. I don't intend on him replying but I still wanted hiim to know I caught onto his BS.

It's like wow, all that for what?

Regardless life goes on.

ETA: That sucks she did that to you. I wish people could be honest and genuine instead of all these games and immature tactics. No wonder the dating world is so messed up in America. Can't speak for other countries. But that's why women are becoming jaded or they submit to the hook up culture, and fuckbois are loving the date culture and the good men probably have a hard time finding a decent woman.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by pryme(m): 7:26am On Dec 27, 2017
Corps1000:


It's ok, I am more disappointed than anything. He is 35 years old and playing these games. I am a good person and been genuine from the get go. If someone did this to his sisters, he would have been mad. Yes, it's better I know now than find out months or years later, if this ever was gonna continue that long.

Yeah, I am not sad because I wasn't emotionally invested. I liked him but I wasn't in love. It's ok, not my loss.

Dumb?? I reactivated my dating profile and sent him a message, kept it classy and told him to lose my number and delete my pics. The pics were just selfies. And I told him I will do the same. I also told him he called himself religious but has no problem lying while God watches. And told him he should have been man enough about his intentions. I don't intend on him replying but I still wanted hiim to know I caught onto his BS.

It's like wow, all that for what?

Regardless life goes on.

ETA: That sucks she did that to you. I wish people could be honest and genuine instead of all these games and immature tactics. No wonder the dating world is so messed up in America. Can't speak for other countries. But that's why women are becoming jaded or they submit to the hook up culture, and fuckbois are loving the date culture and the good men probably have a hard time finding a decent woman.

Religious Ppl? Am very very weary of them. My only worry now is that, if you will take this out on the next guy.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 7:37am On Dec 27, 2017
pryme:


Religious Ppl? Am very very weary of them. My only worry now is that, if you will take this out on the next guy.

I am NOT religious. Actually told him that from get go. He says he is kinda religious because he tried to go to church. But I should have known it was BS. I grew up in the church and a lot of people are hypocrites, a small part of why I stopped going to church. But that's another story.

But he told me he smokes weed once in awhile and of course having sex. If he was religious, he wouldn't even do those things. In fact, when I was religious, I didn't do any of those things. And I even told him about it and he said we are natural sinners, he didn't seem upset that he sinned or anything. So, seems his religious thing is BS too.

I won't take it out on the next guy? Or I hope not but the dating culture in America sucks. There are decent woman like me who are faithful, relationship minded nice women and we get bleeped over.

But I think I am going to take a break from dating. I am just disgusted. So many times this dude talks about marriage and settling down. Saying he isn't trying to play games. But I guess I ignored red flags. Like, why would an attractive engineer who is educated need online dating? I guess people can say same thing for me. But men usually pursue, with the good school he goes to and everything, he couldn't find a decent girl? And you know since I came back from FL, he didn't intiate contact like he use to.

I can say that I will never fly out for any man unless he is my husband, no more taking risks.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by chaarly(m): 7:38am On Dec 27, 2017
Corps1000:


Looks like my instincts were right! I actually met him on a online dating website.

Well, since Friday, he didn't hit me up. Even when I sent him a Merry Christmas text.

So, I actually went on the site we met and put in the zip code of the area he moved to on the day I left. His profile popped up and it was Active. He even said Kevin Heart was coming into town by the end of the week in his profile. Meanwhile, he is allegedly in Nigeria.

I tried calling him and his phone went straight to voicemail. I used someone's phone and it went straight to voicemail too.

His profile said he's new in the area. So, clearly this was all a game to him. Meanwhile he was talking about being exclusive by the 3rd date, and I wanted to hold off until I got to know him. Mentioning how his dad was strict on him. Paying for the rental when I came to see him, paying for dinner. Talking about school and his family. In terms of his family and school, everything checked out according to his Facebook and Linkedin.

I don't know why was he talking in a future sense if he apparently was gonna ghost on me.

I just don't get it because on my last day when I visited him, he mentioned coming to Nigeria with him. He even said if we lived together, it would be so fun. I even used his car down there, brought his to his job.

It's like what is the point of all this? And he's 35 years old, like wtf. But his facebook said he is still living here, but regardless that is clearly a new dating profile.

If he didn't think it was gonna work, then he should have been man enough to end it.



guess he isn't man enough after all. maybe he couldn't stand telling you in your face and just wanted things to unfold just the way it did so you'll get the message. and its not handwritten on the wall my dear. . he wrote it on your face. lol. move on, it's 4days to the New Year.
all this rubbish should end this year!

2 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by pryme(m): 7:44am On Dec 27, 2017
Corps1000:


I am NOT religious. Actually told him that from get go. He says he is kinda religious because he tried to go to church. But I should have known it was BS. I grew up in the church and a lot of people are hypocrites, a small part of why I stopped going to church. But that's another story.

But he told me he smokes weed once in awhile and of course having sex. If he was religious, he wouldn't even do those things. In fact, when I was religious, I didn't do any of those things. And I even told him about it and he said we are natural sinners, he didn't seem upset that he sinned or anything. So, seems his religious thing is BS too.

Hahaha, welcome to my world. When a girl puts up the religious show, that's the end for both of us, I run without looking back. What I have been thru with religious women, I won't wish for my friend.
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 7:44am On Dec 27, 2017
chaarly:



guess he isn't man enough after all. maybe he couldn't stand telling you in your face and just wanted things to unfold just the way it did so you'll get the message. and its not handwritten on the wall my dear. . he wrote it on your face. lol. move on, it's 4days to the New Year.
all this rubbish should end this year!
I guess so but it's messed up. I am a nice person and don't deserve this undecided

And it's like why on the last day he ask me to come to Nigeria with him, which it seems he didn't go anyway. Like, just end it at that point. Loser.

I guess everyone can't be man enough. I dated an Indian guy for 1 month and I didn't see a future. I contacted him and told him our culture is too different and I wish him luck in finding a decent woman. I could have ghosted but I try to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Oh well.

Taking a break.

And you're right, soon enough i will forget about him.

3 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by chaarly(m): 7:53am On Dec 27, 2017
Corps1000:

I guess so but it's messed up. I am a nice person and don't deserve this undecided

And it's like why on the last day he ask me to come to Nigeria with him, which it seems he didn't go anyway. Like, just end it at that point. Loser.

I guess everyone can't be man enough. I dated an Indian guy for 1 month and I didn't see a future. I contacted him and told him our culture is too different and I wish him luck in finding a decent woman. I could have ghosted but I try to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Oh well.

Taking a break.

And you're right, soon enough i will forget about him.

you will dear.
and you know, there are some things that happens to us that we don't really deserve but I heard my pastor one day saying. . 'if it doesn't happen to you then who should it happen to? if u check it out, the setbacks we have at some occasions in our life are often times not compared to the comebacks we later achieve.

one thing is certain, you don't have to bother yourself. what's yours is yours, what's not is not!

Happy Holidays smiley

3 Likes

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Nobody: 9:16am On Dec 27, 2017
@Corps1000, i would assume you were somewhat into him even if you dont admit it in your own way. relationship is tough and it sucks everywhere, cutting across all forms and cultures and all that. i guess you guys shared a kind of chemistry that has now nudged to him using some physics mechanism to distant his feelings from you. i 'm thinking like an engineer, lol ;like when one wants something to happen fast fast or wants things to go his way as expected and evenually they don't; one would kinda feel he aint that doing enough or caught out for it thus; the feeling of doubts set in. These is just the natural instinct i feel as a man. but it might be different for some perhaps. you did your part by flying over to see him, perphaps your first. but i think u deserve a bit of closure from him to say the least. Thank God you didnt travel along with him to my wow country bcuz that was the litmus test to actually bolt out of the relationship. wait a min, barely 2months and he wants you to make the ultimate sacrifice.

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Write2018: 9:17am On Dec 27, 2017
Follow your heart

1 Like

Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Nobody: 9:32am On Dec 27, 2017
well, one man's lose na anotha man's gain. i m still very much single and would like to chat friendly with a carribean. i have just sent you a pm. and lets see it plays out well hopefully, because you might perhaps, leave me for your runnaway 'ex someday, hahaha. like i say doubt! doubt!! the fear of getting hurt emotionally is always in the package.. i wont be testing with one tip of the toe on this one. i will be risking it all in blindfolds. hope you take your time to reply me, asap. i m always online 24\7 gmt dats me 0070 baabeeh!
Re: Dating A Nigerian Man But Having Doubts About Him...Any advice? by Corps1000: 9:34am On Dec 27, 2017
GameKartel:
@Corps1000, i would assume you were somewhat into him even if you dont admit it in your own way. relationship is tough and it sucks everywhere, cutting across all forms and cultures and all that. i guess you guys shared a kind of chemistry that has now nudged to him using some physics mechanism to distant his feelings from you. i 'm thinking like an engineer, lol ;like when one wants something to happen fast fast or wants things to go his way as expected and evenually they don't; one would kinda feel he aint that doing enough or caught out for it thus; the feeling of doubts set in. These is just the natural instinct i feel as a man. but it might be different for some perhaps. you did your part by flying over to see him, perphaps your first. but i think u deserve a bit of closure from him to say the least. Thank God you didnt travel along with him to my wow country bcuz that was the litmus test to actually bolt out of the relationship. wait a min, barely 2months and he wants you to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Regardless, he’s a coward for not being Real. I did like him. I’m very cautious and don’t trust men and flew to see him, something I won’t ever do again unless it’s a husband.


I’m not a child he should have been real. I would have had more respect if he ended it outright.

But yes he asked me to travel with him to Nigeria and stay with his family. Now I’m thinking it was just game.

At this point, he’s dead to me.it was only 2 months of my life and I have a long life to live.

Thanks for the advise hun!

1 Like

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

My Opinion On Feminism / My Fellow Womanizers, Please Help Me Decide On This? PLEASE!!! PHOTOS!! / My Harmless Message Brought Me Embarrassment Yesterday

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 162
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.