Mr man, if you know what is good better build that house before you go into the ups and downs of marriage and family responsibility. All these morons asking your father why he didn't build a house won't be there for you when you start sleeping under bridge with your kids and probably become suicidal.

If your father didn't build but spent the money training you in school then you strive to build and make him happy and proud. There is no need to be rebellious. If you disown that man, you'll still need him one way or the other when life starts throwing serious jabs at you.

There is no need rushing into marriage and start producing kids especially in a wicked country like this zoo where nobody will give a damn about them when things go south and exposing them to suffering. Prepare for them. Build..invest.

Build first and make hay while the sun shines. Marrige life will defintely cut through your finances. Be prepared.

coolestofall:
Thats a wise advice 4rm ur dad, which wld make sense 4 u 2 follow. I c no reason y u cn't do both, except u r planning 2 do a celebrity status wedding ceremony.

its the financial issue.
Marriage is so complicated that you v to do it only with the right person . If there is delay, the right person may walk away. It's obvious the op & his fiance are due for marriage. The father knew he ll v more financial responsibilities when he's married hence there may be delay in the village house. But it's better for him to v a delayed village house than a delayed marriage which is equal to delayed destiny. The guy's family should be fair with him.

coolestofall:
Thats a wise advice 4rm ur dad, which wld make sense 4 u 2 follow. I c no reason y u cn't do both, except u r planning 2 do a celebrity status wedding ceremony.

Very very right

Alariiwo:
Your father doesn't wish you well..

Of you check now..

He is lucky Africans still regard theur aged ones. Na home he for dey if na yankee.

Let him know you're getting old

getting old at 34? don't forget he isn't a woman and people should always forget about ounje omo,it mostly belongs to mums. the old man wants him to have a house before his shoulders are loaded with burdens and he wouldn't be able to build one again. father probably made same mistake spending his whole life bringing them up and doesn't want the same for the son.

armyofone:
Very selfish of him seeing that you are helping him take care of his responsibility of assisting your brother.
Village house that they will fight you for at the end of the day.
Face your life and don't live anyone's dream but your own. You've found the woman after your heart, that is more important than a house you won't live in.
As long as they have a roof over their heads where they are, village house is of a very minimal use.
If ever you think of building one, make sure it is in your name and not his name.

But why would you be blunt at a person fathers advice

LivinaPatrick:
Your father wants to delay your destiny,you'll just be watching your younger ones will over take you.

I so much agree with you

You better build Bro. A word is enough for the wise. Thatmay be what your Dad is waiting for before his death. It willl be an eternal regret if your father dies without him seeing a new houseon his head and that may hunt you for life. Also, who know your kind of fiancee

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

I think Your dad is right. You are 34 and also the first child and until now you guys don't have a house in the village Haba mana where will you be staying with your family if u visit home If you have what it takes to start a home and you don't have at least a comfortable structure in your fathers house as the first son then you are definitely not fit for marriage.

JONNYSPUTE:
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later.

What is this one saying? Is the Father not the one to build a house in the village? Abeg Op go and marry jare and pray against the spirit of delay.

My advice: do as ur dad said, also try to save for ur wedding too. Before the middle of the year everything we be ready. U can go ahead and marry ur queen.

Towards this time, I pray may the Lord bless ur hands that u will not lack as u carry on this project.amen

Collins4u1:
He was busy training you guys and probably didn't build a house for himself. Build a house now while you still have less expenses at your disposal. wise advise from your dad..

Op take this advice, your father can never mislead you and probably doesn't want you to make the same mistake he made

anybody can get married be it elaborate or on tight budget, (marriage is marriage)

but haven built your own House is what distinguish boys from the men
.
cc keacy

ur dad is wise..
marry ha nd u wont be able to build dat house.
do it 4 d man if u cn..

smulti:



Op take this advice, your father can never mislead you and probably doesn't want you to make the same mistake he made

anybody can get married be it elaborate or on tight budget, (marriage is marriage)

but haven built your own House is what distinguish boys from the men
.
cc keacy

. Thanks for understanding the angle the father is coming from.

JONNYSPUTE:
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later.

is it his father town he is going to do his traditional marriage or his wife to be town ?

tuscani:
So the best thing is to bring your father to nairaland for bashing, abi

Don't mind him.

olalat:
imagine!!!! Can you read an advice. Get first and realize the thing wey dey inside. I pray you marry a good woman or else, you will regret taken advice of somebody like this person I quote. I'm a married person and I know what it entails.

it is a complicated issue. Money doesnt come like dat to some people. Opportunity comes but once.

tealaw:


Logic. atleast if He disowns u, him free u from those respon wey dey take all ur money. U will be able to do ur life n even build d house. D only thg u owe is lazy n selfish ass is burial money.

haha,can u just gv a constructive criticism....we need sanity in this part of the world.

Fisfrank:


is it his father town he is going to do his traditional marriage or his wife to be town ?

. So after doing it in his wife's town,will he sleep there?.

OfficialAwol:
But for a respect for you, I'd have said your father is a stupid man.

Is he not the one who was supposed to build a house in the village before he married your mother?

Building in the village is not an investment, but an act to impress those who do not matter at all.

My advice to you is this, get yourself a wife, then take your time, one block at a time, to build in the village. After all, it's a house that would be inhabited by cobwebs.

Try to talk sense into the old man. If he refuses, let him be

Building a home in the village is not an investment? It's an act to impress people who don't matter
You obviously don't travel home as often as you should and that's the reason for whatever you wrote up there. Personally I have to build in the village before getting married but that's without pressure from anybody, or to impress anybody, and not for cobwebs too, I like to visit home, you should try going home too more often

LivinaPatrick:
Your father wants to delay your destiny,you'll just be watching your younger ones will over take you.

Seconded. Also the dad is playing some politics. He is scared that after marriage responsibility will increase. Therefore, the chance of paying for school need of the younger brother and even allowance to the father might be a challenge. Some dad are so greedy that they rob Paul to pay peter.

alexialin:
Some parents sef

My late dad built 3 houses, four blocks of flats in his town on one plot of land and two bungalows another plot in his village.
My late mum built three bungalows in a plot in Lagos.
None disturbed us, for such responsibility.
May their souls rest in peace. Amen.


Op do the needful and get married. If he wants to disown u, he can go ahead.

@bold Bad advise
It is better for him to strike a balance
Any marriage done against the wish of his dad maybe bereft of peace
The words of our parents are powerful...

Lexmane:
haha,can u just gv a constructive criticism....we need sanity in this part of the world.

Watever u owe him, uve paid back in d form of raising ur young ones. Cos i knw sentimental ppl here go dey shout 'ah, but he brought u up'! Dats his duty. U didnt beg to come to d world. N its not a crime dat u came to d world, so u not serving any form of sentence under him.

All of you asking the dad why he didn't build one. Let me ask you. Why do we bear children?

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

you in thesame position with me..but am the first of 8..will be 30 august and he is saying i must build first..but at the end sha,all is just mouth

Rubbiish:

@bold Bad advise
It is better for him to strike a balance
Any marriage done against the wish of his dad maybe bereft of peace
The words of our parents are powerful...

Such kind of dad will not listen until he builds a house in the village.
But seriously, I wonder how his parents can dictate when he can marry and when not to marry?
It's complete abuse of parental control.
Just too bad.

deboysben:
All of you asking the dad why he didn't build one. Let me ask you. Why do we bear children?

See question?


Do we bear children, so they can build house/ houses for us?

Am not understanding this your logic.

Well God bless the souls of my parents . They were not in that school of thought.

No pressure whatsoever was placed on us.

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

Just go ahead with your marriage plans. He should ask himself, which house did he build before marrying your mother?
He is expecting what he never offered.
House will come and must not be from you.

Many of us wont be rich today if we took our parents advice.

Gbam! I said it.

histemple:


You have already insulted his father.

Lolz. Subtly

holysainbj:

Building a home in the village is not an investment? It's an act to impress people who don't matter
You obviously don't travel home as often as you should and that's the reason for whatever you wrote up there. Personally I have to build in the village before getting married but that's without pressure from anybody, or to impress anybody, and not for cobwebs too, I like to visit home, you should try going home too more often

You definitely need a definition of what an investment is.

Maybe you should know that while every investment is an asset, not every asset is an investment.

The house in the village is an asset, not investment. Because it's never yielding any profit.

I'm not against building in the village, what I'm against is someone being pressurized to do it at the expense of what he considers a greater value.

Different opinion though, do wats best for ur self, take advice but not all

Bro,don't stress yourself much If you have money to build the house go for it but if you don't go straight and get married.Did your dad's father gave him conditions before he married your mom Exactly!.Do what is best for .what makes you happy is what matters and stop making other people happy.Later