Brother I DONT KNOW HOW U WERE BROUGHT UP BUT I THINK YOU SHOULD BREAK AWAY FROM THAT PATTERN.....

AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU YO DO

Good advice

thinking what am thinking

FortifiedCity:
Which December are you talking about?

This story is copied

Your father is right

CorGier:
At 33 your pupcy still they dictate for you wetin you go do? How many houses has he built in his lifetime to warrant all these pressure? These our parents eh.

I would suggest you turn the tables on him on this one. Threaten to disown him yourself if he dare fails to attend your wedding or give his blessings. Him think say to build house for this current dispensation na beans.

Ur opinion though but the father meant well, moreover before he suggested that he knows d son's financial power. Starting or building before he gets married is good

CaptainJeffry:
Your dad is right. Where will you take your wife to? A forest?

What happened to rented apartments?

The dad has something he is not telling him jare.

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

I don't mean to be rude. Your father was once a youth, what was his accomplishments? Why didn't he build the house in the village Now he want to disown you cos you are placing your priorities right...... Pray against him!

LivinaPatrick:
Your father wants to delay your destiny,you'll just be watching your younger ones will over take you.

Not making sense.

And so fvck what if the junior ones over take him? Abi dem dey stand for line dey make money?

Aside stroking his ego of a proud father of a son that owns a house, your dads decision has some altruistic part, he probably did not build a house before getting married and from his Experience, he felt it will be better if you build first. You can start, then on the process, get married. The house is still yours after all.

JONNYSPUTE:
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later.

Why did his father not build the house? What was he doing when his mates were succeeding?

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

Get married if you love the girl. Your father's emotional blackmail is harmful.

Many wise firstborns realise that there's a limit they can go and draw a mark.

God loves a cheerful giver (Acts 20:35). Since this is not from your heart, then forget it. You can't work a willing horse to death.

Our Heavenly Father remembers we are dust. (Psalms 103:14). Your earthly father shouls be mindful of that too

Building a house in the village!!!! Not a good idea. Better get married fast and start humble with your wife. Build (& live in) your first home in a city conurbation.

If ur financial status is Ok, u can start for house now and finish it even before d easter you've planned to marry .but, if u are not bouyant enuf, you shud plead with ur fada to see reasons with u. Though,i believe ur fada knows dat u have d financial muscle to build d house and dats why he's pressuring u

reminiscing:

Why did his father not build the house? What was he doing when his mates were succeeding?

. His father did not build a house when his mates were succeeding because he did not listen or took his fathers advice,so he doesn't want his son to make the same mistake he made.Are you OK now?

If he had built a house in the village before getting married to your mother, he would probably not be asking you to do so. There you have your answer.

#YourHappiness

@ keacy

JONNYSPUTE:
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later.

Is traditional marriage done at d grooms place?abeg,we dey do our own at d brides place

This one weak me o. Like seriously? I even thought it was a house he would live in with his wife. House in the village? Shouldn't his father have built a family house in the village?

Well, You can go ahead and build it for the same of peace; but your dad's strong arm tactics reek of selfishness. This is all about him not you.

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

He should bury his head in Shame! First you are training his Child in school and now he wants you to build a house for him. Did you beg him to bring you into this world? Or did he bring you into this world to be used as pon to accomplish his own wishes? Whever I read stories like this, I have so much sadness, I mean why should parents to this to their kids? It is my dream to Leave Money and a good Legacy for my Kids and not take their own Money. That man doesnt fit the definition of a father so if you need to buy his Love and acceptance with money, then he is no Father so you might as well get on with it. Get married and disappear from him, cut all contants...Its your Life and you should decide how to live it. Your so called father have had his life and should allow you enjoy yours please

oga lay a foundation first to show ,na for bush u go sleep after getting married ?

JONNYSPUTE:
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later.

First off, building a house where you dont live, and you wont rent easily, is very bad economics. Even if it is to spend the time of the traditional wedding there, the money spent exceed by very far the use.

Second, even if the advice was sound, the idea of threatening your child so that he will marry when you want, and on your own terms, is despicable. Today it is about the mariage, tomorrow it will be something else. Disowning because of a house? Na by force to build house in the village? So he was born to build a house? Or is it a place of worship for the family?

Be free from manipulation, from whoever it is. Let everyone loves you for who you are, not what you can do for them.

@ keacy

@Keacy
If you are saying that you have the financial buoyancy to build the house and that it will only affect your marriage plans by only shifting the date from April 2018 to December 2018 or probably early 2019...

I would suggest you go ahead and build the house and then do the Marriage by December 2018.

Don't let this be an issue for you expecially when you can do both without much effect on your pocket and marriage plans (except the few more months gap).

Your father wants the best for you, a wise man for that matter, how can you marry when you don't have anything to your name. The house will be there forever but you can take another woman. Follow your dad's advice, you may never know why he wants it so.

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

What your dad is saying is best known to him. It is unfair to judge situations btw both of you. I believe that your dad sensed that once you are married, your resources will be diverted and channelled on your wife and her family, which is true in some cases, especially when a man falls in crazy love with his wife. Some men would build a house for their mother in law in the name of love while neglecting their own. So from this perceptive your father may be right.

However, this is not requirement to delaying your wedding.

What you need is to sit down with him and COMMUNICATE. I know some fathers aren't open to communication or difference of option. Their opinion is "final say" which is very bad. Anyways, it is really up to you. If you can do both at a time go ahead. House isn't gonna build in a day but if you can afford to start the foundation while your wedding is on, the ball is in your court.

I tell you what, building a house first if your resources are limited is gonna strain and divert you and you may lose your fiancée in the process.

SirBunky85:

Is traditional marriage done at d grooms place?abeg,we dey do our own at d brides place

. So after doing it at the brides place you sleep at ur in-laws place? Shame on you for saying this. If this is the way you reason,then your father is very right because you ve no sense.

When some ppl say "village ppl" r pursuing u, henceforth understand dat the term "Village ppl" might be referring to ur father sha...

oshe111:
Is it advisable for someone with AS to get married to a girl with AS

please don't! I beg u

keacy:
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl.

I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April.

Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me.

I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused.

What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this.

Sir if u ctnue following ur dad u wil get old n tru dis ur rytful partner may kum n go bcoz ur dad refus u to marry bcoz of hse.
if ur dad truly want ur happiness n joy he wil alow u to marry, ur dad cnnt tire u down for eva bcoz u ve nt build hse in village....... chat me for mre advice 08063588264

Your father is 100% right, pls do as he says

LoJ:

First off, building a house where you dont live, and you wont rent easily, is very bad economics. Even if it is to spend the time of the traditional wedding there, the money spent exceed by very far the use.

Second, even if the advice was sound, the idea of threatening your child so that he will marry when you want, and on your own terms, is despicable. Today it is about the mariage, tomorrow it will be something else. Disowning because of a house? Na by force to build house in the village? So he was born to build a house? Or is it a place of worship for the family?

Be free from manipulation, from whoever it is. Let everyone loves you for who you are, not what you can do for them.

@ keacy

. See its not by shouting. The old man knows exactly what he is saying. Have you asked yourself why the man was not able to build a house in the village? Do you know that guy can get married and by the time you know it his financial statue can depreciate? His father telling him to build a house before marriage might be as a result of his own experience,something might ve happened to him when he got married and been a loving father he doesn't want his son to experience such. Honour your mother and your father for ur days to be long is what the 5th commandment said. You are not wiser than the old man.

any father or mother that threatens me like this would only see my wedding pics on Facebook
I just hate been commanded on how to live my life.
that reservation is for God and myself alone.