Or should you date around and gain other experiences first?

@CyberG,

You did not have to get so raw and use such languages.The poster was only asking for comments not insults.
@Poster

In my own opinion,going around having relationships in search of "experience" will/may only end you up in heartbreaks.Marrying your first boyfriend or even your last is not also a proof of wisdom.
I guess it all boils down to your being mature and also being able to bear responsibilities for whatever actions you take.
You must first understand men and the best way i think you can do that is have loads of them as friends on a platonic level for you to be able to have an idea on how they see things and reason.It will also help you build up your confidence and self - esteem.

It is actually one step at a time.
Goodluck

nalijah07:

Or should you date around and gain other experiences first?

There are no guarantees your first date will be the right one. Or that you would find the right one after dating several guys over a period of time. There are no straight answers, other than this: When you find "the one", you'll know.

Best of luck in your quest / search.

CyberG:

Uncalled for bro. You can express your opinion without being so rude.

@ OP: That would depend on if you went into the relationship originally just for the experience, cos if you're in the relationship cos of "love", I see no reason why you should leave it just cos you want to have experiences with other people, or are your feelings bulbs you just switch on and off whenever you want to?

CyberG:

Liliana has a point ; you really don't have to be vulgar to get your opinion across.

expirience is the best teacher

@poster

i know where u r coming from as i have asked myself the same question because we tend to think there may be more out there, and maybe there is something better we are missing. just have at the back of ur mind that there are many guys out there who would just want to use you, and you may regret leaving this guy. i dated a couple of other guys and found out that there wasnt much i was missing, or maybe u should find out urself so u can appreciate him better. Goodluck in ur decision.

Siena:

Lol. . .I wish I could see your expression as you typed that lot out. I bet your face was purple with rage, and veins were standing out on your forehead. Take it easy, least you burst a blood vessel.

Did you almost get killed over a woman yourself?

LMAO!

@poster, if your feelings are genuine for each other then it doesn't really matter if it's a first love or not.

If your first love hasn't offended you or given u any reason to opt out and seek for adventure, then i see no reason why u should try other guys you will just end up making yourself so cheap and u will regret it at the end of the day.

All,
I am not the person in question. just wanted opinions on the idea.

If you guys have no problem with each other, why not get marrried to each other.

@poster. the chioce is urs,but remember dat u should enter a relationship 4 love and not to be testing if it works or not.Prayers,wisdom,patience is the key.never 4get also 2 use ya head. [color=#990000][/color]

@ Diva: just a bit curious at the 'amen' under your proflie pix

OP:

If there are no 'issues' with the first love, I do not see any reason why anyone would want to be on the look out for 'experiences'.

@ post.

Most girls are afflicted by the obnoxious 'ojukokoro' disease; you always want to have your cake and eat it. This is the ONLY reason many end up as hoes - married (maybe) but 100 other guys can accurately describe their private geographies, some "ex's" even have pictorial evidence and have a good laugh when they see the women with their husbands prancing about in native attire as ökö ati iyawo.

My point is, yes your first boyfriend may be far from perfect (so are you too!), and there are guys out there that are more handsome, richer, more fun, caring, better in bed, etc than him. But is that enough for you to venture out in search of (uncertain) greener grass? You may get lucky, but you may also get badly burnt. The truth is, one has to make hard choices in life, and learn to live with such choices. If you keep wondering if the next guy has a bigger manliness then before you know it you'd have bleeped the whole of 'mankind' in search of the biggest. Who would lose? You.
Same principles apply to guys too; there's always a 'more desirable' alternative to what is available but you'd spend the rest of your life disoriented if you do not learn to make the available desirable.

My present lady has been with me for almost five yrs now and she is my first. I am also her first. All these years with her av been wonderful and blissfull with no regrets at all on both sides. Infact we are considering marriage before the end of the yr. The question is do i feel like i am missing something out there in terms of getting more experience? the answer is Nop. I am very much ok with her.

@Poster
Its 50-50. one could be lucky at the first time and otherwise but from all what is happening all around me presently, i think the probability of getting it right the first time is quite low, but ehh, its not impossible.

@OP
I think there's nothing wrong with that.

Demdem:

@Poster
Its 50-50. one could be lucky at the first time and otherwise but from all what is happening all around me presently, i think the probability of getting it right the first time is quite low, but ehh, its not impossible.

i rest my case

Wonders will never cease on this Nairaland o, what did I say on this topic that warrants my post being deleted? People have said worse things, yet their posts are not deleted.

I thought Military rule no longer operates in Nigeria (where there is no freedom of speech), but it seems a mini military government is developing here. Na wa o!

nalijah07:

Or should you date around and gain other experiences first?

Do you mean go around and fukc other pple first before making a choice? cos I dont see any reason not to if we click very well. And if we can settle our problems when we have one without calling other people to our matter.

i still miss my first love. but am glad i left him cos after i did i found my true love.

First or second is not the issue,love should be.Now i think i understand where you are coming from,"let me test the waters,and see who i will really love to settle down with" Bull! i say first of all the you may come out of such an experience so badly messed up that you will either hate the thought of marrying or eventually marry a wrong dude!

I married my wife after dating several babes,she married me as her first serious boyfriend,am not proud of it but by God's help I'm dealing with my issues and becoming a better husband for her.If you marry your first,you should be grateful to God who saw you worthy of such a blessing,many don't have such luck.

A lot has been said. Here are Two (more) things:

1. Many people are too lazy to work on themselves and their significant other to make their relationship work. Except its critical, jumping ship to another person's arms should ALWAYS be a last resort! You may unknowingly be skipping from the hot oil into the fire.

2. If you want an emotionally sane marital life, have as few relationships as possible, one is great but very hard. Personally I think having 3 EX's is bordering on the EXtreme.

Sleek Reek:

First or second is not the issue,love should be.Now i think i understand where you are coming from,"let me test the waters,and see who i will really love to settle down with" Bull! i say first of all the you may come out of such an experience so badly messed up that you will either hate the thought of marrying or eventually marry a wrong dude!

I married my wife after dating several babes,she married me as her first serious boyfriend,am not proud of it but by God's help I'm dealing with my issues and becoming a better husband for her.If you marry your first,you should be grateful to God who saw you worthy of such a blessing,many don't have such luck.

nice talk. Hope she read this

such a weird question. Anything can happen. If u love him then u can marry him

Its the best thing that can happen to someone,to end up with his or her first love.Myself and my lady are each others first.We are getting on pretty well,we have been together for 5yrs now and hope to tie the knot soonest.We are almost like a family now.

[b]Can't see anything wrong with that?  

Personally, I support it if both of you truly love each other that's romantically fantastic.

Some would argue, it would not last since he is your first love.  But how many people who had several relationships before getting married could honestly claim to be in a happy and lasting marriage?  How many?  Aside those pretending theirs are working when after all, it's all a cover-up.  For example, the guy in a marriage could be cheating and abusing his wife and there she is pretending not to be aware of it and that, it's not happening. The only person that can be happy in such a marriage is the guy doing the cheating/abusing abi, no one else. 'Cheating is sweet for the cheater and, not the Cheated' so, how could such a marriage be happy then?

Therefore, if you both love each other dearly marry your sweet-heart baby but, I suggest you let each other know your coping threshold that is your tolerance level in times of crisis because, such times would definitely come to try your strenght.  Some people here would criticise this but, in this modern times I believe in openness and transparency if you understand what I mean. It's good idea to straighten things out from the onset so that everyone is aware than plodding ahead and expecting marriage to be hunky-dory - we all know it's not.  

Good luck with your decision! [/b]

^^^ may give room for undue comparisms which may lead to being overtly choosy, which ain't good 4 a relationship.

@mamagee,
I personally do not think you have to "date" a lot of men to have an idea or choose qualities you would want your future husband to possess.Getting to understand lots of men in a platonic way would be more like it.
My opinion though,

liliana:

@mamagee,
I personally do not think you have to "date" a lot of men to have an idea or choose qualities you would want your future husband to possess.Getting to understand lots of men in a platonic way would be more like it.
My opinion though, 

So, how does one know the kind of men out there if you date only one man and then marry him?

liliana:

@mamagee,
I personally do not think you have to "date" a lot of men to have an idea or choose qualities you would want your future husband to possess.Getting to understand lots of men in a platonic way would be more like it.
My opinion though,

But li'l sis, dating is not limited to having non-platonic relationships. Dates can be purely platonic, they're still called "dates" though.